<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>
She could also copy the file onto another computer and try? And then do it again, and again, and again, with endless duplicates, all trying passwords? This is a thing that people do in real life. And she can even try real words.
<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>
She could also copy the file onto another computer and try? And then do it again, and again, and again, with endless duplicates, all trying passwords? This is a thing that people do in real life. And she can even try real words.
<Snipped quote by Dynamics>
Nausea as in feeling like vomitting could happen, but it never does.
<Snipped quote by Balance>
If you want, but if you give it a few moments, things will become slightly less complicated. Up to you, though.
<Snipped quote by Balance>
It doesn't always work. If programmed properly, it won't.
<Snipped quote by Galaxy Raider>
Not ulcers.
<Snipped quote by Balance>
It doesn't always work. If programmed properly, it won't.
<Snipped quote by Galaxy Raider>
Not ulcers.
<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>
Your thought process will not be the same as our thought processes. Especially if you came up with the answer and then came up with the riddle. But I'll think about it.
<Snipped quote by Dynamics>
I really do think it is just stress.
<Snipped quote by Dynamics>
well there goes all my meagre knowledge of hacking
So I completely rewrote that thing from before from scratch, now that I'm in this mindset that's much better for writing. Please critique it harshly.Fast. That was the one thing that had enough time to become a realized thought. She's really fast. And then I was on my back, five feet from where I was standing with a pained jaw and a sharp pain from my landing. I could feel my back cracking as my limbs followed gravity's urging and leveled with the rest of me on the ground. Thankfully, I was spared her taunting this time. Rolling onto my stomach, I pushed myself back up and turned to face her once again. It took less than a second to get my guard up, and yet the instant that my hand reached its upheld position, a deep blow to my chest sent me flying once again.
"You've got to predict the opponent's move before they make it. Against a dangerous enemy, your reaction time is long enough to kill you multiple times over."
I know that. Of course I know that. Training with my father aside, I've been training with a monster for a year now. A monster that is by all means fascinating. Demons and "demons" have been a fascination of mine since a young age, and thanks to her I'm acutely aware of how hard it is to fight them. These thoughts raced as I brought myself back to my feet and readied myself. My human body simply isn't able to keep up with hers, so an equalizer was necessary. I began to soak my shoes in my soul's natural energy as I prepared a plan of attack. My opponent and I stared at each other; it was obvious she was giving me a break that I didn't deserve, but I intended to take full advantage of it. The tension was broken quickly as I closed the distance between us, attempting a punch that was immediately used to throw me over her shoulder and onto my back for a third time in as many minutes.
I hissed through my teeth at the pain. Standing up once again, I rushed at her, ducking below her punch and countering with one of my own directly into her solar plexus. A move that, had it connected, would have given me an advantage. As it were, she spun to the outside and quickly brought my arm behind my back to incapacitate me. After a moment she let go and we squared off again. All I had to do was get a "win" once, something that was challenging at best and infuriatingly difficult more commonly.
After another five minutes and twice as many defeats, I was ready to attempt my plan. As subtly as I could, I pull down the back of my shoe, keeping my heel outside of it. The instant my opponent began to rush at me, I kicked it forwards and the loose shoe became a projectile aimed at her head. Unsurprisingly, she dodged it, but that was the point. I instantly teleported to the shoe and, now midair, lashed out at her neck with my leg, catching her still moving in the opposite direction of the kick's force. Sent spinning by the action, I fell on my side a few feet away, but I had done it. I had landed a finishing blow in our match, and it was over. For the first time in months, I had beaten Zadkiel in our sparring.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kain thought back to that day, the day he developed his now signature technique out of desperation. He still watched the recording of that match sometimes, to remind himself of the progress he's made and that every step was as difficult as the current ones. Finished with his reminiscing, he collected his work and left the machine shop he occasionally visited. Today was a rather eventful day, in no small part due to it being the day that he and his partner, Zadkiel, (or "Zee," to him) were separated, a monthly event for the two. Without her around he was far less likely to be targeted by angels, and this was only furthered by his errand taking him to the slums of Millennial City, where demon influence was somewhat higher. Of course, the trade off was that he might be targeted by said demon influence, but in Kain's experience demons were more likely to be reasoned with than their "holy" counterparts.
What a beautiful day, he thought as he left the shop. "I can't really put my finger on it, but... I get the feeling that today is gonna be pretty good."
<Snipped quote by Darlit Glitch>
I would say that you either cannot find yourself or yourself has already been found. My time on this Earth will end, but because I know the purpose of my existence, I have to complete all tasks before the unknown amount of time is over.
The meaning of life, to be cliche.
<Snipped quote by Galaxy Raider>
Nausea how?
<Snipped quote by Dynamics>
I will never delude myself into thinking i know about my self completely, but before i die, i will come pretty darn close. So money and stuff doesn't really matter to me, forcing me to find my own reasons to do what most people think i should as a common sense thing. That is why i don't see the point in doing as many tasks as possible before dying.
I'll leave you to that then, so you can find your path and i can find mine.
<Snipped quote by Darlit Glitch>
Because I believe in the changing human, who is impossible to ever truly "know," since he isn't the same person next year as he is this year. But your purpose can be found.
I would say that I follow my path, because I believe I know it.
<Snipped quote by Dynamics>
I consider finding myself to be my purpose this time around in life, and hope to live a peaceful life creating story and video game worlds that people can explore.
And i create mine so others can have another path to explore if they feel like it.
@DarkwolfX37 This'll be a doozy.Fast. That was the one thing that had enough time to become a realized thought. She's really fast. And then I was on my back, five feet from where I was standing with a pained jaw and a sharp pain from my landing. I could feel my back cracking as my limbs followed gravity's urging and leveled with the rest of me on the ground. Thankfully, I was spared her taunting this time. Rolling onto my stomach, I pushed myself back up and turned to face her once again. It took less than a second to get my guard up, and yet the instant that my hand reached its upheld position, a deep blow to my chest sent me flying once again.
(Second sentence is clunky and portrays something simple in far too many words. Something more like "That was all I had time to think." I also suggest italicising "Fast" and "She's really fast" to portray that they are being spoken of as thoughts. | "Pained jaw and a sharp pain" is redundant. "Throbbing jaw" or some other participle will do better. | "Deep" seems the wrong adjective for "deep blow". "Heavy blow" may work better, or some other adjective.)
"You've got to predict the opponent's move before they make it. Against a dangerous enemy, your reaction time is long enough to kill you multiple times over."
I know that. Of course I know that. Training with my father aside, I've been training with a monster for a year now. A monster that is by all means fascinating. Demons and "demons" have been a fascination of mine since a young age, and thanks to her I'm acutely aware of how hard it is to fight them. These thoughts raced as I brought myself back to my feet and readied myself. My human body simply isn't able to keep up with hers, so an equalizer was necessary. I began to soak my shoes in my soul's natural energy as I prepared a plan of attack. My opponent and I stared at each other; it was obvious she was giving me a break that I didn't deserve, but I intended to take full advantage of it. The tension was broken quickly as I closed the distance between us, attempting a punch that was immediately used to throw me over her shoulder and onto my back for a third time in as many minutes.
(At first, I was confused as to why the tense had changed from past to present. Then you said that they were thoughts. To clarify this, I suggest italicising the thoughts again, and also changing "she" and "her" to "you", since he's thinking about the demon in front of him. | "These thoughts raced" would be better replaced by "Those thoughts flashed through my mind" to better portray how fast they were thought. | "My human body simply isn't able..." changes tense with no excuse. Unless the character is thinking, there is no excuse to suddenly change tense unless your story revolves entirely around doing so. | "The tension was broken quickly" is too wordy. "The tension broke" is a more common and less clunky alternative. "Between us" is also unnecessary. | You're using the passive voice a bit too heavily during this fight, which is frowned upon. For example: "... attempting a punch that was immediately used..." Though the subject is obvious, it's still jarring, so I suggest changing it to "...which she immediately used". Also, "A third" should be "the third".)
I hissed through my teeth at the pain. Standing up once again, I rushed at her, ducking below her punch and countering with one of my own directly into her solar plexus. A move that, had it connected, would have given me an advantage. As it were, she spun to the outside and quickly brought my arm behind my back to incapacitate me. After a moment she let go and we squared off again. All I had to do was get a "win" once, something that was challenging at best and infuriatingly difficult more commonly.
("A move that, had it connected, would have given me an advantage" is a fragment, and you should join it to the sentence with an em dash. If you don't like using em dashes, you can reword the sentence to state the same thing with an actual verb. | "She spun to the outside" is vague. What is the outside? Try "she spun outward" instead. "Quickly brought" is both too beige and too wordy--"yanked" would work better, here. "More commonly" is too purple. "More often" is a better alternative. As you can see, it's a fine line between beige and purple prose, but when it comes to first person writing like this, you're freer to use phrases which we would use often in real life. It's not good to obscure an idea too much--if three words can communicate your idea better than one, by all means, use them, but if one works better, then use it instead. Writing is about the flow, and too many words for one idea breaks that immersion as people have to process all of that.)
After another five minutes and twice as many defeats, I was ready to attempt my plan. As subtly as I could, I pull down the back of my shoe, keeping my heel outside of it. The instant my opponent began to rush at me, I kicked it forwards and the loose shoe became a projectile aimed at her head. Unsurprisingly, she dodged it, but that was the point. I instantly teleported to the shoe and, now midair, lashed out at her neck with my leg, catching her still moving in the opposite direction of the kick's force. Sent spinning by the action, I fell on my side a few feet away, but I had done it. I had landed a finishing blow in our match, and it was over. For the first time in months, I had beaten Zadkiel in our sparring.
("Pull" should be "pulled". Instead of "keeping my heel outside of it", "keeping the ball of my foot inside" would work better. This is because you're pulling the shoe down, and therefore off, so what people will imagine is the heel coming out first. "Keeping the heel outside" is redundant and even semantically incorrect. | You've already used "instant" two sentences ago, and that's too short of a time for "instantly" to not be redundant. "Immediately" will work better here. | "Catching her still moving in the opposite direction of the kick's force" is exceptionally long-winded for a fight scene, and it took me longer than it should have to come up with a better description--a testament to its failure. "Catching her dashing against my kick" portrays the image you want understandably." | "The force sent me spinning onto my side a few feet away" condenses those two verbs into one nice, neat main clause, which is better in this case. "In our match" is redundant in context." | I suggest putting that last line on another line for dramatic effect--"For the first time in months, I had sparred with Zadkiel and won." This better portrays what an accomplishment this is for "I".)
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Kain thought back to that day, the day he developed his now signature technique out of desperation. He still watched the recording of that match sometimes, to remind himself of the progress he's made and that every step was as difficult as the current ones. Finished with his reminiscing, he collected his work and left the machine shop he occasionally visited. Today was a rather eventful day, in no small part due to it being the day that he and his partner, Zadkiel, (or "Zee," to him) were separated, a monthly event for the two. Without her around he was far less likely to be targeted by angels, and this was only furthered by his errand taking him to the slums of Millennial City, where demon influence was somewhat higher. Of course, the trade off was that he might be targeted by said demon influence, but in Kain's experience demons were more likely to be reasoned with than their "holy" counterparts.
("Out of desperation" is bland, now that we're in third person and out of a fight scene. "Sheer desperation", for example, might work better to hammer in the point. | "He's" should be "he'd". | "Finished with his reminiscing" sounds strange. Often, a gerund used like this could be better substituted with a noun which describes this very thing. "Finished with his retrospection" or "finished with this reflection" would work better. | The whole thing after "Today was a rather eventful day" is too complex for what it's trying to say. "Today was a rather eventful day--the monthly day in which he and his partner, Zadkiel ("Zee" to him") were separated." | "Furthered" seems like a bad verb for this. In fact, that whole phrase could be shortened to "especially because his errand took him to..." | "More likely to be reasoned with" is too many words for such a simple idea--"more reasonable".
What a beautiful day, he thought as he left the shop. "I can't really put my finger on it, but... I get the feeling that today is gonna be pretty good."
(Italicise "What a beautiful day". In a construction like that, it's not just in good taste; it's imperative. (You may also use quotations or something of the like, but if you're going to italicise what I told you to italicise earlier, you might as well use it now.")
@DarkwolfX37 This'll be a doozy.Fast. That was the one thing that had enough time to become a realized thought. She's really fast. And then I was on my back, five feet from where I was standing with a pained jaw and a sharp pain from my landing. I could feel my back cracking as my limbs followed gravity's urging and leveled with the rest of me on the ground. Thankfully, I was spared her taunting this time. Rolling onto my stomach, I pushed myself back up and turned to face her once again. It took less than a second to get my guard up, and yet the instant that my hand reached its upheld position, a deep blow to my chest sent me flying once again.
(Second sentence is clunky and portrays something simple in far too many words. Something more like "That was all I had time to think." I also suggest italicising "Fast" and "She's really fast" to portray that they are being spoken of as thoughts. | "Pained jaw and a sharp pain" is redundant. "Throbbing jaw" or some other participle will do better. | "Deep" seems the wrong adjective for "deep blow". "Heavy blow" may work better, or some other adjective.)
"You've got to predict the opponent's move before they make it. Against a dangerous enemy, your reaction time is long enough to kill you multiple times over."
I know that. Of course I know that. Training with my father aside, I've been training with a monster for a year now. A monster that is by all means fascinating. Demons and "demons" have been a fascination of mine since a young age, and thanks to her I'm acutely aware of how hard it is to fight them. These thoughts raced as I brought myself back to my feet and readied myself. My human body simply isn't able to keep up with hers, so an equalizer was necessary. I began to soak my shoes in my soul's natural energy as I prepared a plan of attack. My opponent and I stared at each other; it was obvious she was giving me a break that I didn't deserve, but I intended to take full advantage of it. The tension was broken quickly as I closed the distance between us, attempting a punch that was immediately used to throw me over her shoulder and onto my back for a third time in as many minutes.
(At first, I was confused as to why the tense had changed from past to present. Then you said that they were thoughts. To clarify this, I suggest italicising the thoughts again, and also changing "she" and "her" to "you", since he's thinking about the demon in front of him. | "These thoughts raced" would be better replaced by "Those thoughts flashed through my mind" to better portray how fast they were thought. | "My human body simply isn't able..." changes tense with no excuse. Unless the character is thinking, there is no excuse to suddenly change tense unless your story revolves entirely around doing so. | "The tension was broken quickly" is too wordy. "The tension broke" is a more common and less clunky alternative. "Between us" is also unnecessary. | You're using the passive voice a bit too heavily during this fight, which is frowned upon. For example: "... attempting a punch that was immediately used..." Though the subject is obvious, it's still jarring, so I suggest changing it to "...which she immediately used". Also, "A third" should be "the third".)
I hissed through my teeth at the pain. Standing up once again, I rushed at her, ducking below her punch and countering with one of my own directly into her solar plexus. A move that, had it connected, would have given me an advantage. As it were, she spun to the outside and quickly brought my arm behind my back to incapacitate me. After a moment she let go and we squared off again. All I had to do was get a "win" once, something that was challenging at best and infuriatingly difficult more commonly.
("A move that, had it connected, would have given me an advantage" is a fragment, and you should join it to the sentence with an em dash. If you don't like using em dashes, you can reword the sentence to state the same thing with an actual verb. | "She spun to the outside" is vague. What is the outside? Try "she spun outward" instead. "Quickly brought" is both too beige and too wordy--"yanked" would work better, here. "More commonly" is too purple. "More often" is a better alternative. As you can see, it's a fine line between beige and purple prose, but when it comes to first person writing like this, you're freer to use phrases which we would use often in real life. It's not good to obscure an idea too much--if three words can communicate your idea better than one, by all means, use them, but if one works better, then use it instead. Writing is about the flow, and too many words for one idea breaks that immersion as people have to process all of that.)
After another five minutes and twice as many defeats, I was ready to attempt my plan. As subtly as I could, I pull down the back of my shoe, keeping my heel outside of it. The instant my opponent began to rush at me, I kicked it forwards and the loose shoe became a projectile aimed at her head. Unsurprisingly, she dodged it, but that was the point. I instantly teleported to the shoe and, now midair, lashed out at her neck with my leg, catching her still moving in the opposite direction of the kick's force. Sent spinning by the action, I fell on my side a few feet away, but I had done it. I had landed a finishing blow in our match, and it was over. For the first time in months, I had beaten Zadkiel in our sparring.
("Pull" should be "pulled". Instead of "keeping my heel outside of it", "keeping the ball of my foot inside" would work better. This is because you're pulling the shoe down, and therefore off, so what people will imagine is the heel coming out first. "Keeping the heel outside" is redundant and even semantically incorrect. | You've already used "instant" two sentences ago, and that's too short of a time for "instantly" to not be redundant. "Immediately" will work better here. | "Catching her still moving in the opposite direction of the kick's force" is exceptionally long-winded for a fight scene, and it took me longer than it should have to come up with a better description--a testament to its failure. "Catching her dashing against my kick" portrays the image you want understandably." | "The force sent me spinning onto my side a few feet away" condenses those two verbs into one nice, neat main clause, which is better in this case. "In our match" is redundant in context." | I suggest putting that last line on another line for dramatic effect--"For the first time in months, I had sparred with Zadkiel and won." This better portrays what an accomplishment this is for "I".)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kain thought back to that day, the day he developed his now signature technique out of desperation. He still watched the recording of that match sometimes, to remind himself of the progress he's made and that every step was as difficult as the current ones. Finished with his reminiscing, he collected his work and left the machine shop he occasionally visited. Today was a rather eventful day, in no small part due to it being the day that he and his partner, Zadkiel, (or "Zee," to him) were separated, a monthly event for the two. Without her around he was far less likely to be targeted by angels, and this was only furthered by his errand taking him to the slums of Millennial City, where demon influence was somewhat higher. Of course, the trade off was that he might be targeted by said demon influence, but in Kain's experience demons were more likely to be reasoned with than their "holy" counterparts.
("Out of desperation" is bland, now that we're in third person and out of a fight scene. "Sheer desperation", for example, might work better to hammer in the point. | "He's" should be "he'd". | "Finished with his reminiscing" sounds strange. Often, a gerund used like this could be better substituted with a noun which describes this very thing. "Finished with his retrospection" or "finished with this reflection" would work better. | The whole thing after "Today was a rather eventful day" is too complex for what it's trying to say. "Today was a rather eventful day--the monthly day in which he and his partner, Zadkiel ("Zee" to him") were separated." | "Furthered" seems like a bad verb for this. In fact, that whole phrase could be shortened to "especially because his errand took him to..." | "More likely to be reasoned with" is too many words for such a simple idea--"more reasonable".
What a beautiful day, he thought as he left the shop. "I can't really put my finger on it, but... I get the feeling that today is gonna be pretty good."
(Italicise "What a beautiful day". In a construction like that, it's not just in good taste; it's imperative. (You may also use quotations or something of the like, but if you're going to italicise what I told you to italicise earlier, you might as well use it now.")
@DarkwolfX37 This'll be a doozy.Fast. That was the one thing that had enough time to become a realized thought. She's really fast. And then I was on my back, five feet from where I was standing with a pained jaw and a sharp pain from my landing. I could feel my back cracking as my limbs followed gravity's urging and leveled with the rest of me on the ground. Thankfully, I was spared her taunting this time. Rolling onto my stomach, I pushed myself back up and turned to face her once again. It took less than a second to get my guard up, and yet the instant that my hand reached its upheld position, a deep blow to my chest sent me flying once again.
(Second sentence is clunky and portrays something simple in far too many words. Something more like "That was all I had time to think." I also suggest italicising "Fast" and "She's really fast" to portray that they are being spoken of as thoughts. | "Pained jaw and a sharp pain" is redundant. "Throbbing jaw" or some other participle will do better. | "Deep" seems the wrong adjective for "deep blow". "Heavy blow" may work better, or some other adjective.)
"You've got to predict the opponent's move before they make it. Against a dangerous enemy, your reaction time is long enough to kill you multiple times over."
I know that. Of course I know that. Training with my father aside, I've been training with a monster for a year now. A monster that is by all means fascinating. Demons and "demons" have been a fascination of mine since a young age, and thanks to her I'm acutely aware of how hard it is to fight them. These thoughts raced as I brought myself back to my feet and readied myself. My human body simply isn't able to keep up with hers, so an equalizer was necessary. I began to soak my shoes in my soul's natural energy as I prepared a plan of attack. My opponent and I stared at each other; it was obvious she was giving me a break that I didn't deserve, but I intended to take full advantage of it. The tension was broken quickly as I closed the distance between us, attempting a punch that was immediately used to throw me over her shoulder and onto my back for a third time in as many minutes.
(At first, I was confused as to why the tense had changed from past to present. Then you said that they were thoughts. To clarify this, I suggest italicising the thoughts again, and also changing "she" and "her" to "you", since he's thinking about the demon in front of him. | "These thoughts raced" would be better replaced by "Those thoughts flashed through my mind" to better portray how fast they were thought. | "My human body simply isn't able..." changes tense with no excuse. Unless the character is thinking, there is no excuse to suddenly change tense unless your story revolves entirely around doing so. | "The tension was broken quickly" is too wordy. "The tension broke" is a more common and less clunky alternative. "Between us" is also unnecessary. | You're using the passive voice a bit too heavily during this fight, which is frowned upon. For example: "... attempting a punch that was immediately used..." Though the subject is obvious, it's still jarring, so I suggest changing it to "...which she immediately used". Also, "A third" should be "the third".)
I hissed through my teeth at the pain. Standing up once again, I rushed at her, ducking below her punch and countering with one of my own directly into her solar plexus. A move that, had it connected, would have given me an advantage. As it were, she spun to the outside and quickly brought my arm behind my back to incapacitate me. After a moment she let go and we squared off again. All I had to do was get a "win" once, something that was challenging at best and infuriatingly difficult more commonly.
("A move that, had it connected, would have given me an advantage" is a fragment, and you should join it to the sentence with an em dash. If you don't like using em dashes, you can reword the sentence to state the same thing with an actual verb. | "She spun to the outside" is vague. What is the outside? Try "she spun outward" instead. "Quickly brought" is both too beige and too wordy--"yanked" would work better, here. "More commonly" is too purple. "More often" is a better alternative. As you can see, it's a fine line between beige and purple prose, but when it comes to first person writing like this, you're freer to use phrases which we would use often in real life. It's not good to obscure an idea too much--if three words can communicate your idea better than one, by all means, use them, but if one works better, then use it instead. Writing is about the flow, and too many words for one idea breaks that immersion as people have to process all of that.)
After another five minutes and twice as many defeats, I was ready to attempt my plan. As subtly as I could, I pull down the back of my shoe, keeping my heel outside of it. The instant my opponent began to rush at me, I kicked it forwards and the loose shoe became a projectile aimed at her head. Unsurprisingly, she dodged it, but that was the point. I instantly teleported to the shoe and, now midair, lashed out at her neck with my leg, catching her still moving in the opposite direction of the kick's force. Sent spinning by the action, I fell on my side a few feet away, but I had done it. I had landed a finishing blow in our match, and it was over. For the first time in months, I had beaten Zadkiel in our sparring.
("Pull" should be "pulled". Instead of "keeping my heel outside of it", "keeping the ball of my foot inside" would work better. This is because you're pulling the shoe down, and therefore off, so what people will imagine is the heel coming out first. "Keeping the heel outside" is redundant and even semantically incorrect. | You've already used "instant" two sentences ago, and that's too short of a time for "instantly" to not be redundant. "Immediately" will work better here. | "Catching her still moving in the opposite direction of the kick's force" is exceptionally long-winded for a fight scene, and it took me longer than it should have to come up with a better description--a testament to its failure. "Catching her dashing against my kick" portrays the image you want understandably." | "The force sent me spinning onto my side a few feet away" condenses those two verbs into one nice, neat main clause, which is better in this case. "In our match" is redundant in context." | I suggest putting that last line on another line for dramatic effect--"For the first time in months, I had sparred with Zadkiel and won." This better portrays what an accomplishment this is for "I".)
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kain thought back to that day, the day he developed his now signature technique out of desperation. He still watched the recording of that match sometimes, to remind himself of the progress he's made and that every step was as difficult as the current ones. Finished with his reminiscing, he collected his work and left the machine shop he occasionally visited. Today was a rather eventful day, in no small part due to it being the day that he and his partner, Zadkiel, (or "Zee," to him) were separated, a monthly event for the two. Without her around he was far less likely to be targeted by angels, and this was only furthered by his errand taking him to the slums of Millennial City, where demon influence was somewhat higher. Of course, the trade off was that he might be targeted by said demon influence, but in Kain's experience demons were more likely to be reasoned with than their "holy" counterparts.
("Out of desperation" is bland, now that we're in third person and out of a fight scene. "Sheer desperation", for example, might work better to hammer in the point. | "He's" should be "he'd". | "Finished with his reminiscing" sounds strange. Often, a gerund used like this could be better substituted with a noun which describes this very thing. "Finished with his retrospection" or "finished with this reflection" would work better. | The whole thing after "Today was a rather eventful day" is too complex for what it's trying to say. "Today was a rather eventful day--the monthly day in which he and his partner, Zadkiel ("Zee" to him") were separated." | "Furthered" seems like a bad verb for this. In fact, that whole phrase could be shortened to "especially because his errand took him to..." | "More likely to be reasoned with" is too many words for such a simple idea--"more reasonable".
What a beautiful day, he thought as he left the shop. "I can't really put my finger on it, but... I get the feeling that today is gonna be pretty good."
(Italicise "What a beautiful day". In a construction like that, it's not just in good taste; it's imperative. (You may also use quotations or something of the like, but if you're going to italicise what I told you to italicise earlier, you might as well use it now.")
<Snipped quote by Mammalia>
Explain this em dash and what specifically I should do with it.
