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Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by souleaterfan320
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souleaterfan320 Abel: Grand Warrior of Old

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<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>

She could also copy the file onto another computer and try? And then do it again, and again, and again, with endless duplicates, all trying passwords? This is a thing that people do in real life. And she can even try real words.


If you want, but if you give it a few moments, things will become slightly less complicated. Up to you, though.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Dynamics
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<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>

She could also copy the file onto another computer and try? And then do it again, and again, and again, with endless duplicates, all trying passwords? This is a thing that people do in real life. And she can even try real words.


It doesn't always work. If programmed properly, it won't.

<Snipped quote by Dynamics>

Nausea as in feeling like vomitting could happen, but it never does.


Not ulcers.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Balance
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<Snipped quote by Balance>

If you want, but if you give it a few moments, things will become slightly less complicated. Up to you, though.


Your thought process will not be the same as our thought processes. Especially if you came up with the answer and then came up with the riddle. But I'll think about it.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Galaxy Raider
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Galaxy Raider Kat

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<Snipped quote by Balance>

It doesn't always work. If programmed properly, it won't.

<Snipped quote by Galaxy Raider>

Not ulcers.


I really do think it is just stress.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Balance
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Balance Soren Fitz

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<Snipped quote by Balance>

It doesn't always work. If programmed properly, it won't.

<Snipped quote by Galaxy Raider>

Not ulcers.


well there goes all my meagre knowledge of hacking
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by souleaterfan320
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souleaterfan320 Abel: Grand Warrior of Old

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<Snipped quote by souleaterfan320>

Your thought process will not be the same as our thought processes. Especially if you came up with the answer and then came up with the riddle. But I'll think about it.


Things will happen. Continue posting, for now.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Dynamics
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<Snipped quote by Dynamics>

I really do think it is just stress.


Likely.

<Snipped quote by Dynamics>

well there goes all my meagre knowledge of hacking


Hacking Step 1: Copy/Paste.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by DarkwolfX37
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So I completely rewrote that thing from before from scratch, now that I'm in this mindset that's much better for writing. Please critique it harshly.

Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Dynamics
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So I completely rewrote that thing from before from scratch, now that I'm in this mindset that's much better for writing. Please critique it harshly.



"reaction time is long enough" -> "reaction time is slow enough"

"Training with my father aside, I've been training with a monster for a year now."
This is clunky

"thanks to her I'm acutely"
I recommend using "I am" for the sake of rhythm. The contraction is jarring.

"that I didn't deserve"
Maybe here too, but that's up to you.

"was get a 'win'"
I recommend deleting "get."

"she dodged it, but that was the point."
This doesn't match the text around it and needs a tone adjustment.

"trade off was"
trade-off has a hyphen.

"What a beautiful day, he thought"
Put this in quotes.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Darlit Glitch
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Darlit Glitch Nix (human form)

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<Snipped quote by Darlit Glitch>

I would say that you either cannot find yourself or yourself has already been found. My time on this Earth will end, but because I know the purpose of my existence, I have to complete all tasks before the unknown amount of time is over.

The meaning of life, to be cliche.

<Snipped quote by Galaxy Raider>

Nausea how?


I will never delude myself into thinking i know about my self completely, but before i die, i will come pretty darn close. So money and stuff doesn't really matter to me, forcing me to find my own reasons to do what most people think i should as a common sense thing. That is why i don't see the point in doing as many tasks as possible before dying.

I'll leave you to that then, so you can find your path and i can find mine.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Dynamics
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<Snipped quote by Dynamics>

I will never delude myself into thinking i know about my self completely, but before i die, i will come pretty darn close. So money and stuff doesn't really matter to me, forcing me to find my own reasons to do what most people think i should as a common sense thing. That is why i don't see the point in doing as many tasks as possible before dying.

I'll leave you to that then, so you can find your path and i can find mine.


Because I believe in the changing human, who is impossible to ever truly "know," since he isn't the same person next year as he is this year. But your purpose can be found.

I would say that I follow my path, because I believe I know it.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Darlit Glitch
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<Snipped quote by Darlit Glitch>

Because I believe in the changing human, who is impossible to ever truly "know," since he isn't the same person next year as he is this year. But your purpose can be found.

I would say that I follow my path, because I believe I know it.


I consider finding myself to be my purpose this time around in life, and hope to live a peaceful life creating story and video game worlds that people can explore.

And i create mine so others can have another path to explore if they feel like it.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Dynamics
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<Snipped quote by Dynamics>

I consider finding myself to be my purpose this time around in life, and hope to live a peaceful life creating story and video game worlds that people can explore.

And i create mine so others can have another path to explore if they feel like it.


Very well then. Two different outlooks.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Mammalia
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@DarkwolfX37 This'll be a doozy.

Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by DarkwolfX37
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@DarkwolfX37 This'll be a doozy.



I... I did italicize fast and she was really fast...
Dunno why that didn't show up for you.
WAIT I COPIED IT FROM THE FINISHED NOT FROM THE PROGRESS OKAY THAT'S WHY.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Dynamics
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@DarkwolfX37 This'll be a doozy.



I liked the blandness of "Out of desperation." The final paragraph felt like a resolution to the first two and existed as a relief. Making it charged as well is fatiguing to the reader.

For the record, that's all I read of the critique so far because of how I'd have to find all the comments and I'm going to bed. Night all.
1x Thank Thank
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by Disdain
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bed, ned
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by DarkwolfX37
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@DarkwolfX37 This'll be a doozy.



Explain this em dash and what specifically I should do with it.
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by DarkwolfX37
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<Snipped quote by Mammalia>

Explain this em dash and what specifically I should do with it.


I don't know what "too purple" means. ;-;
Hidden 9 yrs ago Post by DarkwolfX37
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Edited, critique again. This time I copied from the edit screen so the things I had italicized from the beginning should actually be italicized now.
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