[OOC] Myriad Reality

[Techspert]

<Snipped quote by Techspert>

Post there whenever you're ready. I've been trying to think up a good first post.

@DarkwolfX37

Don't we have to make it together?

[DarkwolfX37]

youtube.com/watch?v=2lxUmZ9KITI
So David since Sans is easy try this shit.

[DarkwolfX37]

<Snipped quote by DarkwolfX37>

Don't we have to make it together?

@Techspert

No? Go check the recent IC. It's a new day so basically just go to class.

[Techspert]

<Snipped quote by Techspert>

No? Go check the recent IC. It's a new day so basically just go to class.

@DarkwolfX37

I know, but for an introductory post.

[Techspert]

youtube.com/watch?v=2lxUmZ9KITI
So David since Sans is easy try this shit.

@DarkwolfX37

Maybe eventually.

[DarkwolfX37]

<Snipped quote by DarkwolfX37>

I know, but for an introductory post.

@Techspert

Nah, just post you going to your class. Our chars don't live together after all.

[Techspert]

<Snipped quote by Techspert>

Nah, just post you going to your class. Our chars don't live together after all.

@DarkwolfX37

Yeah, but it figures they'd meet up to go to school and then separate to go to classes.

[Balance]

<Snipped quote by Techspert>

Nah, just post you going to your class. Our chars don't live together after all.

@DarkwolfX37

Can you repost what you need a critique for?

[DarkwolfX37]

<Snipped quote by DarkwolfX37>

Yeah, but it figures they'd meet up to go to school and then separate to go to classes.

@Techspert

Uhm... Kari lives in the dorms, which I'm pretty sure are IN the school. Hang on.

[DarkwolfX37]

<Snipped quote by DarkwolfX37>

Can you repost what you need a critique for?

@Balance

My Hider

If the sounds of gunfire and shouting were any indication, he was getting close. A few steps more and... Whoa. Suddenly a lacking feeling hit him like a wave. I'll take that as a 'fuck voyeurs' then. Moments later another, stronger wave came and sent him into a daze. Shit. Keep running straight, ignore the numbness. So he did, continuing his path until he found himself running straight into a brick wall. Oww... he thought, but at least he was getting closer. Pausing for a moment to regain his senses, he looked around and...

Shit. An angel. What was an angel doing here? Kain ran closer to the warehouse that the angel was descending towards and hid behind a wall. That's when he noticed the PCUs and the tall man with the sword. Gods damnit, that would've been good to know. Lamenting his lack of skill with his sixth sense, he observed the fighting with a sense of apprehension. Okay, so. We've got what look like PCUs, an angel, a guy fighting the PCUs, and judging from the sounds on the other side of the wall, a few more people. Who the hell do I support here?

[Techspert]

<Snipped quote by Techspert>

Uhm... Kari lives in the dorms, which I'm pretty sure are IN the school. Hang on.

@DarkwolfX37

Likely, but you still have to walk to class.

[whizzball1]

<Snipped quote by Balance>

My Hider

If the sounds of gunfire and shouting were any indication, he was getting close. A few steps more and... Whoa. Suddenly a lacking feeling hit him like a wave. I'll take that as a 'fuck voyeurs' then. Moments later another, stronger wave came and sent him into a daze. Shit. Keep running straight, ignore the numbness. So he did, continuing his path until he found himself running straight into a brick wall. Oww... he thought, but at least he was getting closer. Pausing for a moment to regain his senses, he looked around and...

(too many expletive help)
(Moving on from unfixable complaints, "lacking feeling" is... lacking. How about "a feeling of emptiness"? | The comma between "another" and "stronger" is unnecessary. However, it actually sounds better than the alternative if you place a comma between "later" and "another as well, as: "Moments later, another, stronger wave came..." | The comma after "Keep running straight" should be a semi-colon. If you want those thoughts to be more stream-of-consciousness, make them more choppy, unless those are his full thoughts and he would think them. | Why, exactly, did he run into a brick wall? What kept him from noticing this? These are details that would pique curiosity but are skipped over, as if this was only for random humour.)

Shit. An angel. What was an angel doing here? Kain ran closer to the warehouse that the angel was descending towards and hid behind a wall. That's when he noticed the PCUs and the tall man with the sword. Gods damnit, that would've been good to know. Lamenting his lack of skill with his sixth sense, he observed the fighting with a sense of apprehension. Okay, so. We've got what look like PCUs, an angel, a guy fighting the PCUs, and judging from the sounds on the other side of the wall, a few more people. Who the hell do I support here?

(Technically, you misspelled the second expletive in this sentence. The correct spelling has two m's instead of "mn". | "Lack of skill with his sixth sense" seems a bit clunky. Perhaps just "Lamenting his weak sixth sense"? Also, because of "sense" earlier, "sense of apprehension" is a poor choice of words. "Air of apprehension" would work better.)

@DarkwolfX37

Critique in hider.

[Balance]

bed, ned

[Armed Forces]

Tfw spoilers aren't actually spoilers because everything operates on clichés these days and therefore the ending of everything is, to some degree, already known.

[Armed Forces]

Clicking my subs button has never gotten me a sandwich in any form, let alone a sub. Severely disappointed.

[Techspert]

Tfw spoilers aren't actually spoilers because everything operates on clichés these days and therefore the ending of everything is, to some degree, already known.

@Armed Forces

?

[Armed Forces]

"People like to make fun of other people."
So the concept that is "fun" is not only tangible and makable, but it is also organic. Biological, since it is made from people. That also means you can cook it and eat it, and deep fried fun sounds like the best thing ever.

[Armed Forces]

<Snipped quote by Armed Forces>

?

@Techspert

I'm tired.

[DarkwolfX37]

"People like to make fun of other people."
So the concept that is "fun" is not only tangible and makable, but it is also organic. Biological, since it is made from people. That also means you can cook it and eat it, and deep fried fun sounds like the best thing ever.

@Armed Forces

Dark would like to offer you a position among his hypothesizers.

[Techspert]

Night, laters.