Here have some real news.

[Aragorn]

http://www.nbcnews.com/nightly-news/rare-virus-sickens-hundreds-kids-likely-spread-n198746
It's a rare virus that's been spreading throughout the USA. It apparently starts off as a regular cold, but then you start having difficulty breathing and wheezing. Next thing you know, you're in the ER.

[andromedene]

NO

[Derpestein]

Reminds me of the whooping cough.

edit:

That woman is clearly on green screen at the beginning.

Anyways...This really sucks.

[The Nexerus]

ImANargleHunter said
NO

It was nice knowing you.

[Larfleeze]

I bet it's Cordyceps brain infection. One minute you feeling a little sick, the next, fungus is shooting out your brain and you're clicking your teeth at everyone.

[Aragorn]

Larfleeze said
I bet it's Cordyceps brain infection. One minute you feeling a little sick, the next, fungus is shooting out your brain and you're clicking your teeth at everyone.

This gave me lovely pictures in my mind. Thanks, I needed that.

[Larfleeze]

Aragorn said
This gave me lovely pictures in my mind. Thanks, I needed that.

<3

[andromedene]

The Nexerus said
It was nice knowing you.

I have been sick for over a week . This is crazy.

[Larfleeze]

ImANargleHunter said
I have been sick for over a week. This is crazy.

It's not like I'll miss you or anything, b-baka!

[Aragorn]

ImANargleHunter said
I have been sick for over a . This is crazy.

Chances are, if you haven't already developed the symptoms of the virus, you are fine.

[pitwhousedtodopokemon]

OH CRAP

[Halo]

I've literally had those exact symptoms for 2 weeks now. Too bad it's just a fucking cold. Not denying this disease exists, but I shudder to think of the influx of parents taking their kids with a minor sniffle to the bloody emergency room in the wake of this story breaking...

[andromedene]

Aragorn said
Chances are, if you haven't already developed the symptoms of the virus, you are fine.

Uh, excuse you. I am dying.

It got crazy bad to the point where I almost passed out because I couldn't breathe properly, but I'm feeling a lot better now.

[Larfleeze]

Aragorn said
Chances are, if you haven't already developed the symptoms of the virus, you are fine.

ImANargleHunter said
Uh, excuse you. I am dying.It got crazy bad to the point where I almost passed out because I couldn't breathe properly, but I'm feeling a lot better now.

I bet it's Lycanthropy, the full moon was yesterday.

[Aragorn]

Larfleeze said
I bet it's Lycanthropy, the full moon was yesterday.

I like you.

[Dervish]

Halo said
I've literally had those exact symptoms for 2 weeks now. Too bad . Not denying this disease exists, but I shudder to think of the influx of parents taking their kids with a minor sniffle to the bloody emergency room in the wake of this story breaking...

This scenario is the worst. Nothing like being in the ER for something serious when buck tooth McScrotum Chin is filling up the room with their brood because they have the sniffles.

[idlehands]

I'm sure they'll pass those booger eaters up in favor of something more serious.

But honestly it is a little scary since you have parents out there that refuse to vaccinate their kids and people traveling all over the world is a lot more common.

[Dervish]

"Honey, the news is saying something about a Spanish Flu outbreak. This is why you shouldn't vaccinate the kids or let in Spanish immigrants! "

[The Nexerus]

ImANargleHunter said
Uh, excuse you. I am dying.It got crazy bad to the point where I almost passed out because I couldn't breathe properly, but I'm feeling a lot better now.

You're feeling better now? God damnit. I had this awesome funeral planned, there was gonna be a water slide.

[Dervish]

The Nexerus said
You're feeling better now? God damnit. I had this awesome funeral planned, there was gonna be a water slide.

I want a bouncy castle at my Viking funeral.