Top ten challenges to be issued to Cpt. Toellner

[Antarctic Termite]

1- Everest
2- Wrestle a giant squid
3- Construct a robot using stir fry and floppy discs
4- Impersonate AxirTheHedgehog for ten days
5- Parachute into an erupting volcano while cooking the perfect omelette
6- Raid the Valley of the Kings and put fluffy pink wigs on all the mummies
7- Cultivate cactuses that can be safely used as dildos
8- Replace a light bulb; A specific light bulb the location of which you must figure out for yourself
9- Perform eye surgery with a spatula
10- Pull a bunny out of a hat

[Cpt Toellner]

Antarctic Termite said 1- Everest

No problem, pay the travel expenses and I'll make you weep.

Antarctic Termite said 2- Wrestle a giant squid

Two questions: Where is the match? What kind of wrestling? If we choose a very structured form of wrestling and fight at the squids home arena, I'm in a bad spot. If it's on land, with a simpler fighting style, that bitch is mine.

Antarctic Termite said 3- Construct a robot using stir fry and floppy discs

I would honestly just eat the stir-fry while building the robot out of a floppy disk.

Antarctic Termite said 4- Impersonate AxirTheHedgehog for ten days

No.

Antarctic Termite said 5- Parachute into an erupting volcano while cooking the perfect omelette

I do not like eggs, and I will refuse to cook them if given a choice. So may I recommend a burrito?

Antarctic Termite said 6- Raid the Valley of the Kings and put fluffy pink wigs on all the mummies

The problem of logistics comes in here, where am I getting these wigs? And how do I get that many in crypt? If left to solve this completely on my own, I might have to air-drop these wigs, or use a kind of solution that will grow pink hair when exposed to air.

Antarctic Termite said 7- Cultivate cactuses that can be safely used as dildos.

Knowing what I know of people and their fetish's, I could pick up and cactus, give it to the right person, and win this one in seconds.

Antarctic Termite said 8- Replace a light bulb; A specific light bulb the location of which you must figure out for yourself

Done. Thanks for reminding me.

Antarctic Termite said 9- Perform eye surgery with a spatula

Honey, I've done blind IV sticks with Night-vision goggles on while taking fire, this won't be a problem. And you might want to define "Surgery".

Antarctic Termite said 10- Pull a bunny out of a hat.

Good, i'll just have to put him in there first.

[Antarctic Termite]

Well done.

[Larfleeze]

Antarctic Termite said
6- Raid the Valley of the Kings and put fluffy pink wigs on all the mummies

Cpt Toellner said
The problem of logistics comes in here, where am I getting these wigs? And how do I get that many in crypt? If left to solve this completely on my own, I might have to air-drop these wigs, or use a kind of solution that will grow pink hair when exposed to air.

I just completely lost it here.

[Darog the Badger God]

10 - Piss on somebody's toothbrush.
9 - Take a shit in someone's oven.
8 - Take over a ship of Somalian Pirates and become their Pirate King.
7 - Kill a double rainbow.
6 - Create a live rock show with dead rock musicians of your choice
5 - Conjure the spirit of Nicholas Cage and Tommy Wiseau
4 - Return Taylor Swift, Nicki Minaj, Justin Beiber, Madonna, Lady Gaga, and One Direction to the 4th Dimension where they belong.
3 - Tea bag that statue of Abraham Lincoln and take a photo of it.
2- Eat a Scorpion Chili Pepper and a Ghost Chili pepper at the same time
1 - Put on a red dress, go to the Windy moors and sing "Wuthering Heights" By Kate Bush in the original key whilst doing the dance routine to it.
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