How do I direct a play

[8]

I told the head of the theatre department / director that I wanted to direct. She said okay and now I am assistant director for our next production, A Christmas Carol. I wasn't expecting her to actually give me the position and kick the previous assistant director out of her job, but hey sometimes you get what you ask for. Give me tips on how to push around a bunch of theatre nerds?

[Cpt Toellner]

Lay down the law, make sure they know who's in charge, never be flexible abound theatre students.

[The Nexerus]

Cpt Toellner said
Lay down the law, make sure they know who's in charge, never be flexible abound theatre students.

Do literally the exact opposite of this.

Be approachable. Make it easy for the performers to talk to you and ask questions, whether to clarify misunderstandings or help make themselves comfortable around you. Treat yourself as one of the people helping make the production, rather than the authoritarian all-knowing god that presides over everyone else.

[aza]

quit the position

[Hank]

Ask Taaj.

[Cpt Toellner]

The Nexerus said
Do literally the exact opposite of this.Be approachable. Make it easy for the performers to talk to you and ask questions, whether to clarify misunderstandings or help make themselves comfortable around you. Treat yourself as one of the people helping make the production, rather than the authoritarian all-knowing god that presides over everyone else.

Stop letting 8 know these things.

Everyone knows theatre students are mostly special snowflakes.

[Lady Squee]

What Nex said. You need to have some sort of vision in mind. I would get with the main director and hash out exactly what you guys want. Be able to relay this effectively to the actors. Allow them to act, but restrain them when necessary. Basically be a leader.

[rpg101]

Cpt Toellner said
Lay down the law, make sure they know who's in charge, never be flexible abound theatre students.

Enforce martial law. Hire the schools' athletes to form a Krypteia, dress them in bronze armor that has been rubbed down with charcoal. Summarily hunt down and do away with the theater students that fancy themselves 'above your authority'. Let them know that you are not a Director to be trifled with. Drive home your authority by turning your normal director's chair into a gilded throne, approximately 35 yards above the normal stage. This will grant you a view over your populace of theater students that allows you to ensure everyone is doing their duty.

No doubt this will cause a bit of a problem with the more liberal minded theater students (there may be quite a bit). You, after all, cannot have the Krypteia hunt them all down like the dogs they are, otherwise you would lose most of your cast and crew. Make sure the most troublesome are handled, and then find those that are okay with you ruling over them and pamper them. Provide them with extra rations at the school cafeteria, longer time with library books, and nubile slave girls.

Following the establishment of your rule, you should win over the minds of those on the fence about your leadership. Create an enemy that they need to focus on, someone they can truly despise. Make sure they're weak and do not have much influence with the principal or any of the teachers. This cannot be a long and drawn out conflict, lest you lose your already little support. As you're already controlling the theater students, go instead for the Art students. Use the athletes who did not make it into the Krypteia to lead the assault, smash the Art student's easels and paint their faces like the prostitutes they are.

They will buckle quickly under the sudden assault. Stop the attack and offer them a place within the theater community. They can paint and create things that your normal slackers cannot hope to match. You should have a fair many that agree to your generous terms. There will be those that are willing to fight until lunch. Oblige them.

Following your annexation of the Art Department, you're going to be making waves around the school, this is natural and you should not be alarmed. A handful of your athletes may believe themselves ready to rival you, so you should look to your defense. Enlist the chemistry club in creating a number of weapons for your arsenal, stink bombs, itching powder, cherry bombs, etc. Make sure your loyal Krypteia are armed with them along with their standard ashwood spears. Have a particularly rowdy athlete hit with a stink bomb, ensure he earns a hilarious nickname so his influence among his peers is diminished. The rest of the athletes shall fall into place.

Prepare for the Grand Campaign. Smash into the Bandroom during practice and destroy the band's instruments. Trample the brass, cut the strings, and put the woodwinds to the torch. Round up those foolish enough to run and march them to your throne. Inform them they are now members of the People's Cast of the Grand Theater of [High School Name Here]. They shall only expect bread and water for lunch now. They will spend their times laboring in the mines as they construct elaborate sets for your showing.

As you go about this. Make sure your cast is practicing for the show. Allow no slip ups, especially from Jerry, that fucker's an asshole. Eventually, you'll find that your cast is as close to perfection as they can get. If not, scour the mines for band members who have also wanted to play Danny Zuko and Sandy Dumbrowski.

Make sure you are bribing other school clubs with the appropriate favors. You can't have the Debate Team trying to urge resistance among st the cast and crew for instance. Don't attack them, otherwise you'll spread your reach too thin. Invite them to Trevor's party, or unblock their internet access in the school's computer lab. This will give you all the time you need to make sure your sets are ready and your cast is top notch.

On opening night, inform the parents and faculty that they are about to witness the greatest musical/action-adventure/rom-com in the history of creation. Wander to your throne and begin the play.

Curtains open.

Your cast and crew are assembled, they inform you that they will suffer under your tyranny no more. They smash open the gates to the mines and let the Band pour out, armed with makeshift trumpets and string instruments. They will make it past the first line of defense, but the Krypteia will rally the faithful and hold your throne room. Realize that your loyal subjects may not hold out, especially if the Art and Chemistry clubs join in the rebellion.

Pass your leadership onto the head of the Krypteia and inform the theater students to hold an election for the next Assistant Director. Flee to Tahiti.

[andromedene]

I just read the first and last two paragraphs of that rant, but holy cow something crazy must have happened in the middle.

[aza]

tldr

[rpg101]

Azarthes said
tldr

My plan to get senpai to notice me failed.

[Darog the Badger God]

Cpt Toellner said
Lay down the law, make sure they know who's in charge, never be flexible abound theatre students.

[Cpt Toellner]

rpg101 said
And they shall call me...Augustus.

...
...
.

I thought I had problems.

[Griever]

Cpt Toellner said
Lay down the law, make sure they know who's in charge, never be flexible abound theatre students.

He's right.

Regimented discipline and structure is how it works in the "REAL WORLD.(TM)"

[TP]

what rpg said

[NotAMouse]

Hank said
Ask Taaj.

Pass out copious amounts of alcohol. Drunkenness encourages creativity in its most raw and natural form.

Encourage method acting- make sure the three people playing the "ghosts of christmas whatever" are thoroughly dead before attempting to embrace their roles. Don't call them by their real names from the day of casting until the curtain closes on the final performance night.

Shove a spike up Scrooge's rectum- it'll give him that uncomfortable sneer/pained grimace he needs. Near the end of the show, dislodge the spike. This will give him that 'freshly re-born" look that's so hard to achieve.

Create a satanic-sounding chant for the actors to recite before each rehearsal and performance. This will make them feel united.

Encourage sexual relations amongst the cast. It helps to ease tension and won't cause any problems.

Speaking of the cast, make sure to cast the worst actors in each leading role. This will cause them to be under a HUGE amount of pressure and encourage them to improve their acting skills so the more-talented ensemble will be less tempted to assassinate them.

Insist that their lines be memorized in full by the third day of rehearsals. Deprive them of one piece of clothing each time they have to call for a line.

Trust me, I'm a professional.