Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by clark
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####Notes for character creation: - I want to keep magic subtle and mysterious. - I want to keep the existence of spiritual and extra-dimensional beings ambiguous. - Good writing can convince me to give ground on these guidelines. - Don't feel rushed to turn in a CS. Depending on the response it may be a week before I make a selection. --- ####Q&A @Callthecops >How long have the White Guard been around, and how large is it? Are there other groups of White Guard or are they all contracted within the city? I've edited the original post to include more information about the White Guard. @Cultural Titan - Djinn would be considered extra-dimensional. - Personal muskets have not been invented yet. - I would prefer totem abilities to be subtle. --- For those who have submitted CSs, hang tight. I will review them in the next couple days.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Cultural Titan
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I suppose the question then comes to sylphs, undines, ifrits, oreads, tieflings and assimars, beings who are... mostly human actually, but with some blood of an extra-planar being, wind, water, fire, earth, evil and good respectively. Personally I am a fan of these races to a certain extent and there origin could always be changed to allow them, but as their other dimensional ancestors are banned does that mean that they would be banned as they are? Again changing their origin would be easy enough, but knowing as to whether or not we need to create said new origin is somewhat important, especially as a sylph character has already been submitted. Sorry to keep bothering you about such little things. As a side note Byelivolk, I hope you take notice as you may need to alter your character depending on the ruling to my above question.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by clark
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@Cultural Titan If you changed the archetype's origin so that it is a race born of this earth just like every other race, then it should fall within the parameters.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Cultural Titan
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Fair enough.
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by Neon
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**Name:** His native people would call him Silhainlé, or 'the nights song leaving the burrow'. Before he left his warren he was known as Hainlé, or 'the nights song', but as is tradition his name was altered to signify his departure from his people. Some humans find his name cumbersome and frequently bestow nicknames upon him, the most common of these is to shorten it to 'Hain'. (which is fine in posts because I know the 'é' might be a pain to some people.) ~ **Description:** Silhainlé – as a Lessir – has human and hare features. Lessir do age similarly to humans (however their age of maturity is 15 years) and Silhainlé is 20 years old. His skin is a soft, tawny, orange-brown colour, however his complexion is imperfect. He has multiple dark spots dotted around his body, best likened to beauty marks, and his hands and feet are a darker shade of brown, closer to that of dirt. He has no fur or tail – he says it is a misconception that Lessir have any – but his skin is tough to make up for this. His eyes are large and dark, appearing to have no iris at all, and they are spaced a slight further a part than a regular humans. His nose is small, upturned, with long, thin nostrils, which twitch frequently. His mouth appears normal, but his teeth are far tougher than a humans and he has slightly fewer. His hare ears match his skin tone and extend roughly a foot from their base on the sides of his head, level with his eyes. The insides of them are furred with small, white hairs. He has a head of tussled, copper red hair, cut short around his neck and ears. His build is very thin and lanky. There is little muscle in his arms at all, but in place of upper body strength his legs are formidable. His feet are long, tipped with small but sharp black claws. They are those of a hare and are his most powerful asset. If he were to stand to full height he would measure at around 6”3 (excluding ears) but he never does this as the position is uncomfortable. In his more natural crouched position he stands at 5"3. ~ **About Lessir:** The Lessir are a race of rabbit or hare people, identified by their long ears and strong, animal legs. They live mainly on remote flatlands, in large societies known as camps. In these pastures they dig a complex maze of tunnels, with expansive halls and levels. On the surface the excavated dirt is used to cover basic wooden structures which signify the entrances to the burrows. They live quite isolated lives and their crafts and culture are rather primitive. Although the Lessir do prefer to keep to themselves they are not against communication with humans and other species, as long as it is peaceful. Lessirs are typically vegetarians, and it's very unusual for them not to be. If there is an exception to this then it will apply to a whole warren rather than an individual, but these instances are very rare. If a Lessir decides to leave their warren for good they are called a 'Silarfa' or 'one who roams from the burrow', and their name is affix with the Sil- prefix upon their leaving. This is not necessarily a punishing or derogatory act, more simply it is to distinguish those who have left on a more permanent basis from those only temporarily travelling for trade or social reasons. Overall the Lessir are a relatively peaceful race, preferring their solitude from the rest of the world. ~ **Backstory:** Hainlé was born in a warren many, many miles from Belencrest, and had a perfectly regular childhood for a Lessir. His father was a trader who frequently travelled to the nearest town to exchange detailed, decorative carved tokens and statues for necessities. Once he was of a matured age he accompanied his father on these journeys. He became fascinated with the human society, curious of their customs and how they differed from his own. He gained a particular fondness for maps as he became more and more curious as to what the world beyond what he knew. By the time he was 18 he was spending less time helping his father with the trade business and more simply observing the workings of the town and market. Eventually his father asked him to either commit himself to the trade business or to choose his own path. Hainlé chose the latter and made his decision to leave the warren, taking on the name Silhainlé. He began his journey at the same town that had first fascinated him. For a year or so he managed to find work with a delivery service, who were keen to make use of his birth-given ability to run at high speeds. He stayed in their employment for several months, able to save up enough money through diligent work to afford a leather pack and provisions. Silhainlé set off westwards, and eventually drew close to Belencrest. However before the reached the city itself he was set upon by a small group of the greyskinned barbarians. In a moment of fight or flight he bolted from danger, managing to make his escape unscathed but a bit spooked. He had never personally been trained to fight but he reasoned that now that he was outside the safety of the burrows it may be in his best interest to learn. He learned of the White Guard and made an appeal to them; he asked to be trained in combat in exchange for his service and Lessir abilities, such as his sensitive hearing. After some debate and discussion he was excepted and has undergone vigorous training since to give him satisfactory experience in combat. ~ **Goals/Fears:** He wishes to see more of the world from the burrow, to learn and explore things beyond his current understanding. He has a particularly potent fear of death, although this is quite common in Lessir. Since leaving his warren he has learn of archery and has since developed a fear of arrows, knowing that a good shot could mean the end of him. ~ **Mastery:** The advantage of having Silhainlé in the group is for his alertness and speed. He fills the role of reconnaissance and safeguard, often keeping watch or scouting ahead for danger. In more covert situations he alerts the rest of the group by thumping his foot against the ground, as a Lessir would in its warren. Lessir also possess some of the instincts of their animal counterparts, most notable very keen hearing, which he makes great use of in his role within the team. ~ **Equipment:** Silhainlés surcoat is cut shorter than a normal one, so as not to drag along the ground or obstruct his movement, thus is covers just his chest. He wears some basic cloth pants, lightweight as he prefers it. He wears little armour despite what some people have told him about proper equipment for the field of service. He outright refuses to don chainmail, disliking it's weight. Instead he settled with some basic protection, favouring the lighter materials over anything else. Commonly he wears leather greaves and vambraces, and in situations where they expect conflict a pair of pauldrons. With some convincing he could be persuaded to wear a cuirass, but not without some complaining. The armour he is is very plain, without any décor or distinguishing features. He is able to wield a sword and was given training, but has a preference to smaller weapons, such as daggers, knives and even shivs. He usually carries a pair of twin, steel daggers with him. ~ **Personality:** Silhainlé in quite cunning, proficient at tricking enemies with his quick movements in order to escape from otherwise dire or dangerous situations. He is highly curious and eager to learn, especially of other societies and customs. As such the totems interest him greatly, although he does not have much of a talent for them. Aside from his considerable leg strength he is quite weak physically, but his swiftness is what gives him the edge over his opponents. While his Lessir nature does give him many gifts it does have it's disadvantages. Most notably he is not the bravest of creatures, although he does his utmost improve on this, and not let it show when he is scared. Despite this, his fear does get the better of him, and like a hare or rabbit, he can become paralyzed or frantic with fear, however that would only occur in a sever situation. His main weakness in combat would be becoming confined, trapped or having his legs rendered useless by some means. ~ **Totem:** Due to their relative isolation from human society Lessir are very unfamiliar with totems, although from word of mouth they know the basic concept. As such Silhainlé is unable to use totems himself, however they do intrigue him and he enjoys learning more about them. - - - - I figured with him being Lessir and the nature of his upbringing it would make sense for him to not yet have a totem. Perhaps he could learn/discover one in time, we'll see how things go. Also a lot of Watership Down inspiration here.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by ByeliVolk
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Should I change the Race then? The reason why I choose Sylphs is that they are raised by human parents and that they generally look human but on the taller and thinner side with more pale skin.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Cultural Titan
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Well, its not like you have to actually change much, just the origin of your race. We should probably agree on something at least the two of us since I wanted to be a similar race.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by ByeliVolk
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Okay sounds good man.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Commodore Robot
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This sounds really neato. I'll start working on a CS
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by Megadraco
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Zacharias Lightninblade's CS **Name:** Zacharias Lightningblade **Description:** Zacharias is a man in his mid twenties. He is quite tall, with a slim, yet muscular build, often hidden under leather armour and a white robe with black trim he wears when not on duty. The right side of his face is heavily scarred, and an intricately carved sphere made out of bronze rests where his eye would be. His healthy eye’s colour is a penetrating green. He has a sword, which is kept inside an electric blue holster tied to his armour. **Backstory:** Zacharias is the son of Arthur Lightningblade, a well-respected independent mercenary, just like his father, and his father’s father, and his father’s father’s father. During his childhood, Zacharias was trained into the ways of the family. He learned how to wield a sword, how to properly haggle prices, and how to decide whether or not to accept any sort of non-standard payment. The day he came of age, he was gifted a sword, with his family’s Totem incrusted in the pommel. However, that very same day, he ran away from his home. For Zacharias did not like, did not want, the life of a free-roaming mercenary. Sure, the swordfights were exciting, and he couldn’t deny that the pay, if you were skilled, or your surname known, was good. But he hated the way his father would disappear for months, roaming around the land, not knowing what would be his next job, or even if he would find one. He hated that every time his father returned he had a new scar, a new mutilation. But most of all, he left because he was curious. Zacharias had always wondered about the Totems, how and why they worked. He had heard of a contingent, in a nearby city, dedicated to studying the Totems, and so he headed there. The scholars were... reticent to accept him. He was part of a family of mercenaries, and because of this, they thought of him as too uncivilized to properly take part of scientific investigation at best, and a brainless brute who was only useful to hold a sword and point it in the direction money told it to at worst. However, he quickly proved them wrong when he began his work. He caught up to his partners at an outstanding speed, and while he didn’t manage to achieve any important breakthroughs, neither did anyone else. However, he asked many important questions, many of which no one else had thought of asking. One day, however, the warning horns were sound. Barbarians had invaded. Zacharias was one of the few scholars who had gathered to defend the building where they had been living for years. He stared at the oncoming horde, drew his blade, and attacked. However, they were a failure. The laboratory fell into the hands of the barbarians, who destroyed it all. However, he did not give up. He continued to fight, his sword against those of hundreds, if not thousands. When the White Guard arrived, he was almost completely exhausted, his back against a wall, the barbaric forces attacking nonstop. He was rescued, and offered a position in the Guard. At first he refused it, explaining his experience with mercenary life. However, after being explained the difference between his father’s life and what they were offering, namely the fact of having a long-lasting contract, and being promised he would be allowed to continue his research work, he agreed. He has served in the White Guard for four years now. **Goals/Fears:** One of Zacharias’ greatest goals is to discover the true nature of Totems. Some of his more minor goals are the eradication of barbarians and, of course, surviving whatever mission he is currently in. His greatest fear is to die alone while on duty, having simply left one die, never to come back. **Mastery:** Zacharias is extremely skilled when wielding a sword. He would also consider himself a scientist and, while he is a bit rusty, he definitely knows how to haggle prices. **Equipment:** Zacharias tends to wear leather armour while on duty, disliking heavier apparel, since his fighting style relies on, as he says, “fast defence and even faster offence.” The only weapon he wields is his family sword. Aside from combat equipment, he tends to carry a bottle of ink, a quill, and two notebooks: one containing his ongoing research on Totems, and one in which he keeps track of expenses. **Personality:** Zacharias is curious by nature. He loves to learn everything about how things work. Show him a bit of information, and he will attempt to pull and pull until he knows all you can tell him. He has a particular fondness for Totems, and as such, he will continually ask anyone who has one whether he can take a closer look, seemingly not caring about the owner’s opinion on the matter. Since very young, he was taught to be very wary about money, and as such, he has grown to be quite stingy. Finally, Zacharias loves to fight, and when in a duel he can easily lose track of everything else. However, if you ask him about it at any other time, he will completely deny it. **Totems:** **The Lightningblade:** Zacharias’ surname doesn’t come from the name of a sword, as one would expect. Instead, it belongs to a Totem, usually crafted with a ruby, which is incrusted into the pommel of a sword. The Totem itself looks like a normal cut ruby when incrusted, however, if it is removed, a spiral can be seen stretching under the ruby-shaped top. A Lightningblade incrusted sword is given to every member of the family in their coming of age. Its effects are simple: Anyone who wields the sword in which the Totem is incrusted will become lighter, allowing him to move faster, but becoming less resistant to attacks. The wielding arm, in particular, will move at an astounding speed, almost faster than humanly possible, as it becomes incredibly light. The downside to this is that anyone not used to the weapon will most likely use too much strength, throwing himself off balance or even causing injury to himself. **The Totemic Eye:** Once, in the Totem laboratory, Zacharias was working with a pair of extremely volatile Totems. A young scholar, probably very new, barged into the room he was in, and accidentally pushed him. Zacharias, who was leaning very closely in order to observe one of the Totems, lost balance and fell face first into it. The Totem burned most of the right side of his face, and caused him to lose his eye. Since that day, he began to develop a very intricate Totem to replace his lost eye, based on two of the Lab’s commonplace Totems. While he was a scholar, he didn’t have the resources to attempt to carve it, so he limited himself to designing it. It would be a spherical Totem, carved with intricate, extremely small designs, which would glow light blue whenever the eye was "open". After joining the Guard, however, he could finally spare enough money to make it, and surprisingly, it worked... To some extent. The Totemic Eye allows Zacharias to see as though he had a right eye. Most of the time, the eye can only see in shades of gray. However, for some reason, the Eye can see Totems in full colour, and will even show a small tinge of colour if a Totem is behind a thin opaque layer, such as cloth or leather. Did anyone ask for a >1000 words long CS? XP. I'm sorry, I got kinda... Carried away... With the backstory there...
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by Fairess
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Soooooo... I really liked the premise of this and decided to wing it on the CS. My character definitely leans more towards steam punk, but I tried my best to keep the tech reasonable. I also realize you wanted to keep a sense of mystery with the totems, but: a. I'm a detail nerd and b. I've applied a totem to a machine, which I feel should be very specific in how it works. I'm happy to change anything here and hope I can join you guys in this RP! ### Name: Adele Brunsque ### Description: Adele is both fair haired and fair skinned, resulting in an overall pale complexion and blond hair. She stands at 6’1’’ (proudly two inches taller than her older brother) and has a fairly muscular build. Even so, she has the curves and dress of a lady, wearing the latest trends for students of her former academy. What do these consist of? Nothing but the edgiest knee-length dresses, leather corsets studded with gilded buttons, layers of white and brown skirts, belts (and more belts), heavy buckled boots, long leather overcoats, and charcoal-tinged goggles. Aside from her messy buns, ponytails, and braids (and always pressed clothes), Adele doesn’t seem to put much more care into her appearance. She has the gait of a laborer and carries herself with a practical sort of grace, mindful of the crowds or objects around her to reduce collisions. She does have the habit of getting her hands into several sorts of grease from the machines she works with, giving her working gloves and coat permanent black stains. This makes her more than a little self-conscious about her forever-dirty nails, which she tries to hide by clipping as short as possible. Her face also suffers from the occasional oil splash or charcoal smudge. Being 25 years of age, her facial features still retain the glow of youth, keeping her chin, cheeks, and lips supple. Her green eyes also maintain a curious sort of exuberance. ### Backstory: _**NOTE: I didn’t see much of a variety of cities, countries, and areas, so I simply made up names to maintain a sense of realness. These can be changed or taken out at your discretion**_ Adele was born in the bustling city of Bossart. Her mother was a former baker, her father an engineer working with professors at Bossart Academy, and both she and her brother seemed to have followed in her father’s footsteps. Her aptitude for understanding totem designs and the basic machinery her father produced ultimately led her to be accepted into the prestigious Bossart Academy, where she majored in totemic engineering. With totemic engineering being a relatively new practice, she had the privilege of studying the beginning of many totem machines. After attaining a basic degree in engineering, she joined the esteemed Professor Godat’s sound lab. There, she studied the effect of sound frequency on previously constructed totemic machinery and submitted an academic paper based on the lab’s first prototype machine dubbed the “Sound Cannon I.” This won her the title of Master Engineer. Unfortunately, Sound Cannon I did not gain the acclaim she and Professor Godat had hoped for. The machine was deemed too complex for commercial use and the sound lab’s funding was cut in favor of spending resources on more “forthcoming” projects from the academy. After no small amount of string pulling and name dropping, Adele was allowed to take Sound Cannon I when she left the academy, hoping to find funding to continue her research. When she was unable to curry funding for her project, Adele turned to basic mechanic work to support herself. When her “creative differences” led to a string of lost jobs, she ultimately turned to mercenary work. That was quite the dicey decision (and one her parents were far from approving of), but it became a practice she loved. It tested the limits of her sound cannon and allowed her the money she needed to continue improving it while also exploring its uses. She’s only been a member of the White Guards for a few months. ### Goals/Fears - Adele is afraid of permanent injury (or really injury at all). Truth be told, she likes to stay behind the frontlines and use her machinery to frighten foes away rather than kill them. - Adele is afraid of losing her sense of style. Sure, it sounds petty, but since leaving her home, she has an irrational fear of losing her identity, especially since she has always lived so close to her family. This makes her insistent on keeping up with the latest trends of Bossart, as it provides an emotional, rather than rational comfort for her. - Adele’s goal is naturally to improve her sound cannon’s design until she can get it officially recognized by the prestigious engineers of Bossart. Though she does this mostly out of pride and past disappointment, she honestly believes it can be put to practical use in the military and even everyday life. ### Mastery _Engineer:_ Adele is a wiz at the latest totemic machinery. This gives her a great understanding of how general totems work, how to repair basic machines, as well as basic equipment upkeep. She makes it her job to maintain the armor and weaponry her fellow White Guards use, as well as putting in an effort to create totemic machinery to aid specific tasks. Given her extensive use of sound cannon I, she also has relatively good aim. ### Equipment: - _Backpack:_ A relatively small backpack that carries the things a woman needs. What does this include? Snacks, an assortment of small spare parts for the sound cannon I, toiletries, hair pins, spot remover, a water canteen, and a spare petticoat or two. More notably, it also carries a fountain pen and the notebook containing all the schematics, adjustments, and various notes she has on the sound cannon I. - _Tool Belt:_ Various tools for tweaking machinery are kept in pouches on the belt she wears. Wrenches, screwdrivers, a pocketknife, and other reasonably sized tools are carried on it. - _Sound Cannon I:_ (will be explained in the totem section) ### Personality: Adele thinks quite highly of herself. This gives her both confidence and arrogance, giving her very little patience for those who speak slowly or stumble over explaining any particular topic. She has tunnel vision when it comes to totemic machinery, meaning that while she is quite brilliant with everything relevant to her study, she doesn’t really know how to converse about anything unrelated to totemic machinery or her general studies at the academy. Combined with her impatience and general disinterest in those not engineers, she can be difficult to deal with. That being said, she does have a great deal of respect for authority figures. She follows orders without giving backlash and thinks highly of those who can execute commands effectively. While this makes her a great team member, it tends to make her great only when a leader is present within the team to provide guidance. Those who dress well according to Bossart standards also tend to get a little more respect from her. Generally speaking, Adele is fairly neutral in her standards and quite selfishly minded. Whatever benefits her and her job (as well as studies) is great, and anything that detracts from that she finds annoying. This makes her reliable with anything totem related and pretty darn lazy with anything else (unless it’s shopping—that she takes very seriously). ### Totem: Sound Cannon I _Basic Appearance:_ At first glance, the sound cannon I looks more like a [hurdy gurdy ](http://macumbista.net/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/hurdy-gurdy-girl_jules-richomme.jpg)than it does a cannon. Strangely enough, it’s made out of metal rather than wood, but still operates with a hand crank. There are a series of “keys” used to make pitches as well as an additional set of buttons that control a series of filters hidden inside the machine itself. The narrow end of it has a metal pipe about six inches in diameter—that’s where all the magic comes out. _Basic Theory (aka how the cannon works):_ The core of the cannon contains three different elemental totems--fire, light, and electricity. These are suspended within the cannon with the use of a metal "claw" and resemble white crystals. When exposed to certain frequencies of sound, these totems can be activated at will and their effects manipulated as their energy passes through a series of adjustable filters/shutters within the cannon's muzzle. _Basic Spells/Songs:_ _Fire I:_ The cannon spews out fireballs roughly the size of tennis balls. Each one is hot enough to cause secondary burns upon contact and will ignite anything flammable. The maximum distance the cannon can achieve with these fireballs is about 30 feet. Prolonged firing beyond 20 continuous shots tends to burn the filters out, rendering the cannon inert. _Fire II:_ The cannon spews out a length of flame roughly four feet long. This tongue of flame is hot enough to cause severe burns on whatever touches it. Unfortunately, prolonged use beyond thirty seconds causes damage to the filters and quickly renders the cannon inert. _Fire III:_ The cannon forms a beam of condensed flame about 2’’ in diameter. Though small, it has the power to burn and cut through metal and can reach a maximum distance of ten feet. Prolonged use beyond thirty seconds causes damage to the filters and renders the cannon inert. _Light I:_ The cannon forms bright bursts of light, each one six inches in diameter. This can be used to signal across great distances, and can be used for about four continuous hours before the filters burn out. _Light II:_ The cannon creates a continuous beam of bright light. Depending on the brightness, the filters may last from one to three continuous hours. _Light III:_ The cannon can release a supercharged beam of light. It lasts only for three seconds, but can cause temporary blindness if gazed at with unprotected eyes. Using this twice will burn out the filters. _Lightning I:_ The cannon releases a series of bolts, each one strong enough to cause the same effects as a tazor upon contact. It can only release three successive blasts three times before burning the filters out. Additionally, the grounding effect of electricity gives it a short effective range, around 3-7 feet. _Lightning II:_ The cannon releases one big charge of electricity, forming lightning on a miniature scale in front of the cannon. It has a continuous blast of five seconds and is strong enough to cause death to a target subjected to the full duration and power. Once again, using it longer than five seconds will burn out the filter. Additionally, the grounding effect of electricity gives it a short effective range, around 3-7 feet. _Lightning III:_ A bolt of lightning shoots from the cannon, strong enough to cause massive damage as well as a small crack of thunder. It has a range of 30ft and will burn out the filters of the cannon instantly, as well as causing significant recoil. **Virtues:** The sound cannon I is capable of great power, either in prolonged shots or impressive beams. It can deal with enemies both close and far away quite effectively and has the potential to have even more elements and features added to it as Adele’s skills improve. **Vices:** The sound cannon I is a difficult weapon to handle. It requires extreme finesse in its operation, which means it also requires concentration. Additionally, it is a very high maintenance weapon, requiring filter repair after almost every battle. This makes carrying around spare filters a must, but spare filters require time and precise placement to replace, making them impossible to repair in the midst of combat. There’s also the fact that the cannon itself is a heavy and cumbersome piece of equipment. While Adele is accustomed to its weight, it still slows her down.
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by Cultural Titan
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Name Alayi Description Alayi stand at five feet and nine inches with naturally smooth skin and a delicate looking face. If life had not had its way with her she may have met some standards for beauty, but as it is she is stocky and well muscled with scars down her arms and back from the lashings of a whip. Other than that she has distressingly grey skin and two thin, swept back horns running through her waving, flickering, fire colored hair. She looks to be in her mid twenties. Backstory More enlightened among the town would call someone of Alayi’s birth an Ifrit. A mostly human being somehow infused with or mutated by totemic fire. She had no control over such energy, but it certainly had an influence on her appearance, lifespan and personality. Less enlightened people tended to call her a monster, unholy or a hell spawn. Most of the children in her town were not allowed to be her friend and few of those with free will over the matter sought to show her kindness. Worse yet, those friends she did make grew up much faster than she did and virtually abandoned her to be with people as matured as they were. Similarly her parents also grew old as Alayi was still a child. Though they never abandoned their daughter they did age and were taken by sickness. Alone and still a child Alayi tried to steal her way out of hunger and into shelter. She was caught almost immediately. Not however, by the nice young couple she had set her eyes on and not by the town guard, but by a group of slavers who picked the little orphan out of the crowd as someone nobody would miss and exotic enough to fetch a good price. Sold into slavery Alayi worked long days planting, harvesting and being whipped for standing up for herself. In order to keep the men’s hands off her as she developed into a woman Alayi leaned on the idea that she was demonic, though it seemed a fine line between preventing rape and not being killed for the sake of purification. Eventually the whole operation was destroyed overnight by a group of freedom fighters. The ifrit ran away with them and learned to fight, She travelled with them freeing oppressed where they could, fighting of bounty hunters and law keepers who came to stop them. However they too grew old and eventually retired leaving Alayi alone again. She travelled on her own for some time until about three years ago when she ran into a recruiting agent for the white guard and decided to make a little money applying what skills she had. Goals/Fears Alayi values freedom for herself and others very highly. Ultimately She wants a life where she may travel from place to place carelessly with a someone special and preferably as long lived as she. for said journey she does not want to worry about money so she also seeks her own fortune for the sake of her future comfort. However, she knows that she will not abide tyranny and would not be able to just let it slide if she encountered it on her journey and at times resigns herself to a sort of perpetual life of battle. Alayi is afraid of always being alone for the rest of her life, being made a slave again and to a lesser extent being shackled to any one place for too long. Mastery Alayi’s preferred place in combat is between the enemy and everyone else, taking what hits she cannot avoid with her shield and absorbing what she cannot block with her armor. Additionally her nature has gifted her a stiff resistance to high temperature. She’s no slouch in offense either knowing how to use many weapons effectively enough on the battlefield. Equipment Plate Armor, a heavy steel shield, a sap, a totemic rapier, a bastard sword, a hand axe and two knives. Personality Alayi likes other people and desires to have close and permanent companions, but along with her fear of getting too attached to anyone who is not fated to as long a life as she Alayi actually may have too high of standards for friends. She has a sort of force of personality, browbeating those with weaker personalities into going along with whatever she says, much to her dismay as she actually would prefer to be an equal rather than a tyrant. Totem Much as how people heat their homes Alayi carries a rapier on her that creates heat all around which she personally finds quite pleasant, but can be used to light fires and cause quite devastating wounds to most races. NOTES: Not immortal, will live for a few hundred years like sylphs. Speaking of which our current back story for both races is that they come from totemic energies messing with mother and or fetus indirectly. Still rare and out of place. that said this may or may not be an effect you want totems to have so we’ll leave it up to your discretion and hit the drawing board again in the case of a no.
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clark zero thirty

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Thanks for all of your submissions, everyone! Here's some feedback with requests for tweaks. I don't like forcing you to change characters. If I'm asking you to rework something, it's not because it's bad - it just doesn't fit. So as best as you can, don't take anything I say personally. ####Character submissions feedback @HaltingBlooper - The writing is a bit muddled and I have trouble reading your CS. You could use some revision all around. - Based off Samuel's backstory, goals and fears, to me it doesn't make much sense for him to become a mercenary. If his fear is losing those he loves and he doesn't like fighting and he comes from a well-off family, I don't know why he would leave those he loves to do something he doesn't like when there doesn't seem to be anything driving him away from home. - Healing totems could work, but to make them impossible to steal or sell seems odd, arbitrary, and unexplained. I'd drop that aspect, and I'd like the healing properties better if they were actually linked to some physical property. --- @ByeliVolk - Your sentences tend to run on and it makes your CS difficult to read. Try varying the sentence structure, maybe use more punctuation? - Djinn would be considered extra-dimensional. You would need to rework his race's origin and remove the emotional wind effects. - Given your character's goals, fears, and background, I still don't totally follow why he became a mercenary. - I like your totem concept, but it doesn't fit the world. I'd like to keep a spiritual or elemental beings more ambiguous, a compromise might be having your totem produce strange breezes and whistles, and your character hears the voices in the noise. Whether or not it's spirits or madness may not be clear. --- @Neon - Paragraph breaks would help readability. - How tall is your character standing normally (not counting ears)? --- @Megadraco - I think it's a neat idea, but the totem that makes it impossible for the wielder to surrender doesn't really fit my vision for how totems work. - I don't know what you mean by "able to move with great freedom, regardless of the circumstances." Could you explain what you mean? - I'd like for you to come up with some physical reason to explain the speed increase. Maybe the totem makes the sword feel lighter? - For both totems, you don't really describe what they look like. I would like you to attempt to describe it. - I'm still thinking about the eye. I'm on the fence if I'll allow the ability to spot totems. I haven't decided if that's going to make encounters more exciting or less. I'll come back to this point. --- @Fairess - The only thing I'd like to rework is how the cannon works. The way I picture it, one totem has one effect. And having a totem that creates a malleable energy doesn't quite sit right with me. There are ways around that. You could have three separate totems (fire, light, lightning) that your character could swap out as the power source of your cannon, and the filters control the intensity. Since it makes sense in your backstory that you'd have access to multiple totems, I'm fine with that. - Can you provide a physical description of the totem(s)? --- PM me if you have any questions. To those of you who haven't signed up yet, I can't wait to read your submissions. Thanks everyone!
Hidden 10 yrs ago 10 yrs ago Post by Neon
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Neon

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> @Neon > > - Paragraph breaks would help readability. > - How tall is your character standing normally (not counting ears)? > Got it, I'll fix that up now. I'm only just getting used to formatting on here since they changed it up. Edit: Done!
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Fairess
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Fairess

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Well… hm, I based the sound cannon loosely on [cymatics](https://www.youtube.com/watch?x-yt-cl=84359240&x-yt-ts=1421782837&v=sThS9OfnM1s). The idea is that sound manipulates magical energy (like the neutral one I had or several different elemental totems), forming patterns that pass through a series of shapes formed by fliters/lens in the cannon’s muzzle. I could adjust its theory to be more like this: The totems present in the machine are the filters contained in its muzzle. They work much like shutters to form a series of patterns at will. When vibrated by certain frequencies, they produce magical energy in the form of elements. Thus far, only three patterns (or filters) have been discovered to form totemic energy when exposed to sound. Because sound has to be channeled through several different filters (or layers of a totem), the filters are both delicate and thin, forming a bridge of thirty shutters/filters inside of the muzzle. Does that idea work for the theory and description of the totems? If you’re not happy with the idea of Adele having three different elements to use at will, I can also alter the description to require extremely complex filtering (or totems) for each element, which would require switching the filters out between battles.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by clark
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clark zero thirty

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Now that I've read your post I realize my issue was mostly semantic. I'm totally fine with all three totems being within the cannon, activated by sound, while the filters alter the sound frequency to produce different results. You don't have to switch out filters in battle. I think the daily tuning and risk of "jamming" in battle makes it finicky enough to be fair. Sound good?
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Fairess
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Fairess

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> Now that I've read your post I realize my issue was mostly semantic. I'm totally fine with all three totems being within the cannon, activated by sound, while the filters alter the sound frequency to produce different results. You don't have to switch out filters in battle. I think the daily tuning and risk of "jamming" in battle makes it finicky enough to be fair. Sound good? Yeah, that sounds great! To reflect this theory better (and to give the totems some physical description, which I hope works for you), I have edited the theory section of the cannon to the following: The core of the cannon contains three different elemental totems--fire, light, and electricity. These are suspended within the cannon with the use of a metal "claw" and resemble white crystals. When exposed to certain frequencies of sound, these totems can be activated at will and their effects manipulated as their energy passes through a series of adjustable filters/shutters within the cannon's muzzle.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by OneEyedChurro
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OneEyedChurro Pam Grier's Fro

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##**Marcel Rimbaud** **Description:** Standing at nearly 6'3" and baring the slabby and not-toned muscle pertinent to most forge workers and blacksmiths, Marcel is, on all accounts, a large man. His skin was once fair but has become increasingly tan and leathery- and this is shown on his face the most; though he has only recently become 31 years of age, the skin on his cheeks and forehead look stretched to the bone, and his visible hand (His left he often keeps wrapped or hidden in his sleeve) is very calloused and riddled with coal stains. Since he's often wearing sleeves, most don't notice that his right arm is visibly stronger than his left, though by no means is his left arm feeble and useless. Marcel also pertains the features of the Rimbaud family- pale blue eyes and straight, jet black hair, which Marcel keeps at a shoulder-length. He cleans it fairly often, but otherwise doesn't groom it very much. What little grooming he *does* practice, however, goes towards his beard, which he keeps in a clean and styled [french fork](http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/10/108959/3120816-431816_355061691260931_550177553_n.jpg), the same way that his father used to style his. His most unique feature, however, is often hidden from sight- his left hand. Having suffered a bad burn and lost its feeling, the skin remains black and crusty. The totem drawn into the palm has made the little skin that is left to turn a near-red color. It could be said that his left hand nearly shares an appearance with [lava rock](https://c1.staticflickr.com/7/6157/6134275039_89cc64e980_z.jpg). -- **Backstory:** Most of the relatively small Rimbaud family are lifetime residents of Belencrest, Marcel one of them. His father was the owner of a wartime-smithy (Eruben War), and Marcel still holds that he was a damned fine blacksmith, regardless of what ledgers and accountants may say. Naturally, Marcel was expected to run the smithy when his father no longer could, so growing up he was taught the trades of a smith. Marcel didn't have much of a life outside of this- his father was incredibly protective, a hereditary trait seemingly all Rimbauds have. From his father's training and some natural talent, Marcel was shaping up to be a fine blacksmith. However, as a young man working the forge an accident happened and Marcel found his left hand horrendously burned. Out of fear of both disappointing his father and of having his life change drastically, Marcel tried to hide the burn, but he could barely turn a doorknob, much less grip a hammer. His burn was quickly discovered, and to Marcel's surprise, his father was quick to ease the pain, a lifetime of similar burns and their treatments ingrained into the man's head. But in Marcel's case they were simply too late, and all feeling in his left hand left with the pain. Marcel told his father this- and he remembers to this day that his father simply smiled. He grabbed a small knife and gently (as gentle as a blacksmith could be) cut a pattern into the palm of the crusty skin. It was a strange shape- small and rectangular, filled with intersecting lines. Marcel jumped back as his father finished- heat! His lifeless hand felt hot, though it was still cold and crusty to the touch. He still couldn't make a fist, either. Marcel's father explained to him that while he'll never truly feel with that hand again, this pattern, this "totem", will make his hand feel hot, and he will at least be able to tell differences in heat. His father then opened his palms to show Marcel that he, too, had the same totem on one of his hands. In reality, Marcel's father forced him back into working as a smith, though Marcel likes to think that it was ultimately his decision. His work, he found, was actually somewhat improved by the burn and totem- while having one hand slowed him down a bit, the totem let him feel the subtle changes and differences in heat that others just can't feel. This meant he could "feel" the perfect temperature of the forge, and "feel" when metal was at its most malleable state. Marcel's father took the credit, of course, for Marcel's work, saying that it was his training that was allowing the young man to do so well, not the totem. Marcel continued to work at the smithy both as an actual smith and also a delivery boy, and in doing so he learned the streets of Belencrest fairly well. Eventually, however, Marcel had to close the smithy he had "inherited" from his father. For one, it was tough to keep the place running during a time of relative peace, as horseshoes and small decorations only bring in so much income, but Marcel's father's health was quickly failing as the man aged. Marcel soon found himself tending to his father in his "retirement", since the man could barely walk on his own. As Rimbaud tradition would have it, Marcel was not bitter about this new "role", in fact, Marcel found himself becoming so protective of him that he refused to let his father be the first to walk through the door to their home, should they stumble upon some intruder. Marcel's father passed, and he was left with what little money his father had given him and the forge, which he decided against trying to get up and running again. With no wife and no mother, and with the majority of Rimbauds being shut-ins, Marcel turned to the city guard for solace- so long as he worked hard he would be provided with meals and a home. He had to be careful to hide his bad hand during training sessions, but he managed, and discovered he wasn't too shabby at swordplay, either. He wasn't as graceful as others, but his size and former profession meant that he could swing hard and have the stamina and willpower to take a hit, if need be. Marcel served with the guard for some time, until he heard that the White Guard were to be coming to town. Having not heard of them before, he did further research and learned of their previous exploits and overall good reputation. They seemed to be honest men and women doing good, reputable (albeit sometimes dangerous) work, so naturally Marcel felt called to join them- that was about two years ago. -- **Goals/Fears**: Marcel isn't really the type of man to set himself goals- he considers himself to be doing good, honest work and as long as he continues doing good, honest work, then he's content. This levitation towards the "good" and "honest" come from a deep fear of ridicule, however, or fear of being in some fort of spotlight for some negative reason. It's what drove him to be afraid of his father, it's what drove him to train hard when he joined the city guard, and it's what continues to drive him to this day. -- **Mastery**: Defender- while Marcel will never be the best at taking a hit nor will he hit the hardest, its the utility of being able to do both adequately that make him useful in a fight. His naturally defensive and protective demeanor means he likes to try and block hits not meant for him, while his size and strength lets his sword-arm swing hard and fast. Due to his injury, it is impossible for Marcel to use weaponry that requires the use of both hands. -- **Equipment**: Marcel likes to wear an amalgamation of heavy and medium-strength armor- normally a plated cuirass with either chain or scale sleeves. He feels going completely heavy-laden would slow him down too much, since he's already quite slow, but committing to completely medium armor leaves him too unprotected. He prefers swords above anything, but is trained in most single-handed weaponry, and since the grip of his left hand is questionable, Marcel sticks to things that can be strapped to the forearm- claws, punch daggers, even the small mini-bolt crossbows he's heard that some shopkeepers like to hide up their sleeves for security. More often than not, however, Marcel's choice of off-hand is a shield he made for himself and modified with straps that tie around the wrist and forearm in four places. -- **Personality**: Marcel doesn't know what to think of himself. Growing up, he always looked to how his father treated him as the standard for what he should think of himself- if his father was nice, he thought highly of himself, if his father was angry at him, he took it personally and thought lesser of himself. Ever since his father's passing Marcel has struggled over what kind of man he *is* and what kind of man he *wants* to be. Training under both the city guard and the White Guard has relieved some of his inquiry by ingraining the ideal of thinking of others before oneself as well as the tenants of duty and sacrifice, but the question still gnaws at him from time to time. Towards others, Marcel does his best to be kind and honest- another facet from his fear of ridicule. Living a relatively sheltered childhood means he'll never actively try and start conversations, but he'll more than happily join in, provided he has something he thinks worthwhile to say. He enjoys companionship despite having been basically alone for several years of his life. -- **Totems**: Drawn on the palm of his left hand is a small, rectangular pattern filled with intersecting lines- it is a drawing reminiscent of the popular totem used to heat houses and start fires, but seems to be a lesser version and only provides heat to his left hand, almost perfectly up to the wrist. Marcel uses this heat as a very rudimentary way of feeling- he can sense changes in heat, and can feel if things are hot or cold, but that's about as far as it goes.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Commodore Robot
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Commodore Robot Transient Hatemonger

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####**Name:** Djonn Kolthus ####**Description** [Djonn Kolthus](http://i.imgur.com/fnmAiSM.jpg) is a graying man in his mid to late forties who stands at roughly six feet and one inch. Djonn has the build of a lifelong warrior and skirmisher, highly defined yet possessing a surprising lightness to his step and precision to his motion. His flowing hair and beard ,while once a deep red, has dulled and faded and in recent years has even taken on streaks of gray. Djonn holds himself with all the grace of a broken man, hints of a once proud knight can be found in the way he stands, but there is a nagging hollowness to his actions and interactions. ####**Backstory** Djonn Kolthus is the archetypal career soldier. Hailing from a minor noble family in service of their local lord, Djonn was trained in the martial traditions since the day he could hold a sword. During his formative years Djonn received a classical education like others of his social standing and became skilled in the arts, poetry, and writing. He also became skilled in the use of the glaive and bow which soon became his signature weapons. As a second son he was not entitled to any form of inheritance and so had to seek his destiny elsewhere. Djonn would first go on to fight in the Eruben war under the banner of his lord and unbeknownst to him at the time, he had even fought alongside his future employer and commander in several battles. The war's end brought about the first major turning point in Djonn's life. His failure to protect his lord from an assassin's blade had left a black mark on his record despite an otherwise exemplary service, and he was banished by decree of the Lord's son who took his place. With no other ways of sustaining himself, Djonn became a sellsword or glaive in his case, and rather quickly crossed paths with Captain Valhoa. While not one of the original Seventy-five, Djonn was certainly one of the first additions made to the ranks of the White Guard. While initially dejected by his banishment, he found new purpose as a member of the White Guard and for nearly a decade dedicated himself once again to martial excellency. He even came to love a fellow White Guard named Lydia. For years the two were inseparable on the field and off, their fighting styles complimented each other as much as their personalities. Lydia's intense personality and fiery demeanor balancing out the soft spoken and passive Djonn as much his glaive balanced her bow in battle. They were Halcyon days for Djonn, strange for a man whose occupation put his life and that of his lover's constantly in harm's way but for Djonn he had finally found his destiny on the battlefield and with his beloved Lydia. The two were married after a year and had plans for life after they inevitably retired from service. Unfortunately for Djonn, the incursion of the greyskins and his and Lydia's assignment to Belencrest would prove to him why it is unwise to form relationships with co-workers, especially in their line of work. They had been in a border clash with a small warband of greyskins, everything was going by the book, it really was just a case of dumb luck that had led to Lydia's death and shattered Djonn's world. Battlefields are chaotic places and in the chaos of battle mistakes are made. A crossbow bolt fired from some faceless barbarian found a joint in her armor and that was that. It was not the conscious effort of some diabolical monster, there was no storybook logic to her death, simply the harsh reality of volley fire and probability. Overcome with grief Djonn once again found himself without direction, he kept on with the White Guard mostly because there was nowhere else for him to go. He had his wife's armor reforged to fit his build and took up her bow and totem in memory of her. ####**Goals/Fears** While others in his position might have taken to drink or other such vices Djonn has instead decided to walk the path of the ascetic. When he isn't on duty he can likely be found on the parade ground training until his body gives out. While he plays it off like it is nothing, even a cursory glance can see that he is still deeply wounded by the events of two years ago and his recklessness in battle despite decades of experience have led some to think that all he really wants is to die in battle. In the end what he wants the most is closure in whatever form it may come, yet it continues to allude him. Djonn fears more than anything else the thought of those he cares for dying because he wasn't capable of helping them. Because of this he also fears getting too close to others and while he will not actively shun contact with others he will often push people who he thinks are getting too close away from him. ####**Mastery** Skirmisher. Djonn is a master of agile combat, dancing from opponent to opponent and striking rapidly with his vicious glaive or harrying enemies with his wife's bow. Lightly armored, Djonn can't take blows and instead works on avoidance and keeping enemies at reach with his polearm or arrows. ####**Equipment** Djonn has for the past two years fought almost exclusively in the [armor of his late wife](http://i.imgur.com/qZMzwWH.jpg) a light set of armor befitting a ranger. He keeps his [old set of armor](http://i.imgur.com/0zlSm4R.jpg) in storage unable to bring himself to don the ornate feathered plate after his wife's death. He still fights with his matching glaive and if possible he brings his own armor along on long assignments, though it rarely ever leaves the supply train and is only kept as a constant reminder of his failings. He also carries a longsword and a set of daggers for more cramped spaces but they also not used if it can be avoided. ####**Personality** On the surface Djonn tries to maintain the easy-going and soft spoken demeanor that he has had since he joined the White Guard, but its often difficult to maintain at times. He has many acquaintances, but few friends; the Guardsmen that he joined with have either retired, died, or are in command positions. Instead he has cultivated a persona akin to something of a team dad or teacher among the Belencrest garrison doling out advice to young members and aiding the training of anyone who seeks his help. Overall though the best way to describe his personality is dulled, there are no emotional extremes that ever make it to the surface where others are concerned. ####**Totem** **Djonn's Totem:** is etched into the haft of his glaive. It provides him with limited clairvoyance primarily manifested in above average reaction times which in battle can be the difference between life and death. **Lydia's Totem** is a relatively unremarkable face mask made of polished brass. The inner face of the mask is etched with numerous intricate patterns and designs which focus the wearer's vision like an arcane spyglass.
Hidden 10 yrs ago Post by Pathfinder
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Pathfinder A walking disaster

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Not making the best impression with all these WIPS but I need to work a lot of junk out. ___ •**Name**- Dorian Valerian •Description- •Backstory- •Goals/Fears- •**Mastery**- *Alchemist*: There is an art to crafting explosives and Dorian is a damn fine artist. Anything from charges strong enough bringing down a castle wall to binding the elements to simple grenades, if you need a cataclysm then Dorian is your man... just don't stand too close when fire's in the air. •Equipment- •Personality- •**Totem**-
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