here's a quick review of the character. It was not a bad start on a CS. When you fix things up, feel free to just copy everything you get from
here and adding in at the bottom of each point. That link takes you to the raw code, with all the formatting tags included.
Who and what are you? From where do you come, to where are you going? Tell us about yourself.
A Human Padawan named Tsu-Kaido. He is an orphan whose family and homeworld was lost to the war (I'll need help with a specific homeworld if you need that). Taking in as a Jedi Padawan after showing a connection to the force, Tsu-Kaido was content on Coruscant learning the ways of the Jedi before the betrayal. As for where he is going he simply wishes to be free from the Sith for the time being. At such a young age is has become aimless as to to where he'll go next.
Did his family flee from the empire? Or was his homeworld one of the worlds laid to utter ruin by the war? Was his world republic-aligned or neutral? Why is he against the empire? was it because the Jedi taught him so?
Few men truly serve more than one cause. Sure, you might pay lip service to many and support others, but which cause do you serve most? The Galactic Republic and the Jedi order, or the glorious Sith Empire?
The Galactic Republic and the Jedi Order.
Are there any other causes he believes in?
Eyes grow weak with age. They cannot see you clearly. Would you kindly describe what you look like and the sort of clothes you wear?
A young man aged 18. He has a thin build, short cropped brown hair with a padawan braid. After suffering severe burns on his arms as a child he wears bandages around his forearms and shins long after the medical droids have healed those wounds.
These bandages, they are out of habit and to conceal the scars, right? not out of need?
Does he have any significant ethnic traits? anything that makes him stand out from other humans? (other than the wrappings)
Now you have described somewhat about yourself, but you have not covered why you fight. Is it out of idealistic belief, or is it something else?
Tsu-Kaido fights for the Jedi Order and the Galactic Republic. At least that was his ideal before being caught and imprisoned at the hands of the Sith's treachery. For now Tsu fights to survive, but beyond that he's trying to reconcile his disillusionment with the Jedi way.
How did he get disillusioned with the Jedi way? are there any specific events that did it?
Surely you are not like everyone else. What sort of skills make you stand out from the rest?
Swordsmanship. Though still a Padawan his skill with a single blue lightsaber is near unmatched by his peers by his constant honing of his skills.
No other skills that stand out?
You have not been in touch with the rest so far. How do you relate to them? Are there any friends of yours among them? any enemies? Or perhaps you even have family therein?
I may have heard of one or two of them. But I know none personally.
Fair enough. Feel free to make up relations with them. The other players can, and will, adapt to such. It will make integrating your character easier.
[b]The past makes you who you are. What sort of events made you the one you are?
The current Sith betrayal is the most important part of Tsu's origin, he now sees the Jedi Way as flawed whereas before he held it in the highest regard. He is having a crisis of face. What's more he fears The Force for the way it manipulates and blinds those who use it, on either side of the battlefield.
Before that he was a refugee from an unimportant planet that was ravaged by war. He had shown a bond to the force before a Jedi who had taken him in to be his Padawan, Tsu often wonders what would have happened to him if he were found by a Sith instead.
He is disillusioned because the Jedi could not see the Sith trick coming?
Try to expand a bit more on this section. Everything that makes him who he is will have some reason, logical or not.
No good character is without his or her flaws. Nobody’s perfect. The heroes, be they good or evil, tend to have more blatant flaws than the tagalongs. What be thine flaws?
- A hatred for authority.
- A reluctance to use The Force beyond simple tasks (what he makes up for in Swordplay he severely lacks in Force Use)
- He has a fear of burning metal (ironic as a lightsaber wielder) which he can control most of the time.
Any specific type of authority? or all authority in general? Is it rules he doesn’t like, or perhaps rules he does not understand the reason for? Why does he hate authority? how did it affect his time as a Jedi?
Why is he reluctant to use the Force for complex tasks?
He doesn’t like strong heat/high temperatures? Or is it just heated metals? What about low temperatures? is he fonder-than-normal of those?
No matter if you are a Jedi or a Sith, you probably made a lightsaber once upon a time. WHat does it look like?
A simple blue lightsaber. Nothing special about it. He wishes to construct a new one when possible.
Fair enough.
[b]If you wield a Lightsaber, which of the Seven combat forms has your order trained you in?
Soresu (Form III)
How good is he with it? remember that an 18-year old cannot be a master with it. True mastery takes decades to gain. Is his skill entirely learned, or did he have talent for it as well?
What sort of person are you? Do you use the Force for combat, or do you prefer to wield its more mystical branches? Is there something you excel at above all other things? Is there something you are hopelessly bad at? What limitations do you have?
Tsu uses the force for its practical uses; perfecting his swordplay, moving objects, sensing enemies. However he does not involve himself to the mystical side of the Force because he fears it's corrupting nature.
Why? what is the reason for his limitations? Is it personal? Cultural? Is he incapable of it? Afraid?
b) You are Jedi. Yet you have not been held with the other prisoners. Why not? Were you captured elsewhere? Did you just get captured? Or have you simply been isolated till now?
As a form of torture I have been forced to duel the Sith apprentices non-stop for days. When I collapse from exhaustion I'm given a few hours and a small meal before being brought back to do it all over again. A Sith thought it would be entertaining to do this to me after reading through my thoughts. He plans to break my will by using the one discipline I love against me. Knowing my fear of Burning Iron the Sith Captain gave his apprentices just that to use against me. Giving me just a wooden block to defend myself. By the time I'm brought to the other prisoners I have severe burns all over my body and I'm close to dying from exhaustion. The only reason I'm still alive is my connection to the force keeping my body operational.
Did this attempt at torture have any effect upon him? What is the reason he was transferred to the Hâsk and Darth Nyiss? Does he know this reason himself?
Does the Sith that did this have a name? How was he transferred? Where was he held initially?
Is there anything else you would like to mention about yourself?
I imagine Tsu-Kaido to be more of a Grey Jedi. He does what he thinks is best (sometimes rashly) and prefers to act alone instead of part of a group. Because of his wavering belief in the Jedi, Tsu could be drawn into the hatred of the Sith, or likewise convinced of the Force's nature for good by older Jedi prepared to teach him what they know.
So you think it is possible he could eventually fall to the dark side?
