Choose your own adventure.

[UltikanaRe]

Hello! I am creating a new 'choose your own adventure thread'. Heres how it works:

My CYOA

You see a whibberflorbs. What do you do?

Choice 1A

You kill the whibberflorb. 300 whiberflorbs attack you. Do you run or fight?

Run

You die.

Fight

You die.

Choice 2A

You pet the whibberflorb. Now 300 whibberflorbs want attention. Do you pet them, or run away?

Run

You die.

Pet

You die.

I know this is somewhat complex to code, but I am hoping somebody will do it with me. Maybe this will grow into a prosperous minigame thread. Who knows?

[UltikanaRe]

Dragonslayer

You arrive in a cavern full of a scaly scent. You immediately think *Cursed Dragons*. A large black monstrosity flies toward you, breaking the rock ceiling. What do you do?

Run

Silly fool! Dragons can fly! He eats you within seconds.

Hide

You attempt to hide behind a rock, but his breath blocks all paths and soon you are overcome in midnight smoke. you die of suffocation.

Sneak in your invisibility cloak to under him

You are now safer, as he cannot breath under him well. You still not safe, just safer than before.

Use your sword to pierce his chest

You hit him in the underbelly. He rages, then flies and breathes down from his mountaintop lair. You die of burning.

Apply poison ointment to underbelly

The poison should hit in 1 hour, but he will start raging and notice you in 2 minutes.

Run like hell

You run as fast as you can, but you are no longer invisible. He kills you.

Go into that mineshaft

You fall down a rabbit hole and awake 5 days later next to a giant caterpillar and a queen of hearts tries to behead you but you are saved by chess pieces. Or you are on cocaine. Either way, you die.

Get on top of the dragon

Excellent idea. Dragons can't turn their head around. When he rages, you fly with him out of his lair. He dose not feel you over his scales, but then you remember he is going to die and simultaneously fall. How should you go about dismounting?

Parachute

You suicide from regret over not choosing option 2.

Super ninja dragonback jump of awesomeness

Your a 1st degree acrobat. You land right at his unoccupied cave as you hear the sound of a giant black scale-bird falling to the ground.

Loot

You fly home on a baby dragon with thousands of millions of gold coins. Congratulations! You won!

Don't loot

Really? You die because [insert logical reasoning that enforces that you really should loot dragon hoards.] and I want you to.

Shoot him up with poison arrows

He goes temporarily unconscious, while you are crushed by his body.

[UltikanaRe]

Anybody else?

[UltikanaRe]

'Ello?

[Darcs]

10/10 would like to see more. I poisoned a dragon then I died in Wonderland.

[UltikanaRe]

Siege of Agata

Orcs are attacking your city. What do you do?

Pour acid down the walls

Ineffective. Orcs an trolls have resistance to most poisons. By the time you figure this out they have sacked your city.

Throw Stones down

A solid first step. This takes care of the infantry, but the catapults start hurling stones of their own.

Send out your gliders to bomb them

Good move. Your gliders spot trolls in the distance.

Send out the Experimental Gnomish Plasmatic war Machine of super god mode op-ness

>Triggers Calibrating >Sensing Target >Target acquired The guns shoot toward you. Apparently you forgot to set the sensors to orcish.

Send out the ballistas

Good idea. Trolls are weak against piercers..except that one. The troll chieftain marches up toward you. He is the size of the castle. As a king, you have two options:

Duel him yourself

You die the second his looks at you. Valiant, but you still died.

Cower behind your infantry

Best move yet. You walk away with loot beyond comparison. Thousands of your men die, but meh. You are the king after all.

Send your infantry to hijack them

I admire your creativity, but your men are easily squashed by the troll divisions and the rocks falling on entire squads. Also, who trusts an orc's mechanical skills?

[Darcs]

Jeez, what is it with you and poison not working?

[Smink]

Looks very complicated and time consuming. Good job!

[UltikanaRe]

Anybody want to post one of their own adventures?

[Darcs]

rapping pocket monsters

- An image of a man repping the WEST SIDE crowned with BEATS BY DRE appears. Dre : Hello there! Welcome to the world of HIP-HOP! My name is DRE! People call me the DOCTOR OF RAP! * - An image of an Ice Cube appears. Dre : This world is inhabited by creatures called RAPPERS! For some people, RAPPERS are pets. Others use them for fights. Myself... I study RAPPERS as a profession. Dre : Now, before your journey can begin, I need to know are you a BITCH or a NIGGA?

BITCH

Dre : AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! * - DR. DRE appears to be LAUGHING HIS ASS OFF. Dre : Ok! BITCH, Which SIDE do you REP?

EAST

Dre : Ok! Select your CHARACTER.

RZA

* - DR. DRE would like to BATTLE * - The LIQUID SWORDS unite the WU * - The WU-TANG CLAN BRINGS DA RUCKUS * - DR. DRE becomes CREAM * - YOU WIN!

GZA

* - DR. DRE would like to BATTLE * - The LIQUID SWORDS unite the WU * - The WU-TANG CLAN BRINGS DA RUCKUS * - DR. DRE becomes CREAM * - YOU WIN!

Old Dirty Bastard

* - DR. DRE would like to BATTLE * - The LIQUID SWORDS unite the WU * - The WU-TANG CLAN BRINGS DA RUCKUS * - DR. DRE becomes CREAM * - YOU WIN!

Ghostface Killah

* - DR. DRE would like to BATTLE * - The LIQUID SWORDS unite the WU * - The WU-TANG CLAN BRINGS DA RUCKUS * - DR. DRE becomes CREAM * - YOU WIN!

Raekwon

* - DR. DRE would like to BATTLE * - The LIQUID SWORDS unite the WU * - The WU-TANG CLAN BRINGS DA RUCKUS * - DR. DRE becomes CREAM * - YOU WIN!

Method Man

* - DR. DRE would like to BATTLE * - The LIQUID SWORDS unite the WU * - The WU-TANG CLAN BRINGS DA RUCKUS * - DR. DRE becomes CREAM * - YOU WIN!

Red Man

* - DR. DRE would like to BATTLE * - The LIQUID SWORDS unite the WU * - The WU-TANG CLAN BRINGS DA RUCKUS * - DR. DRE becomes CREAM * - YOU WIN!

Roc NATION

* - UGHHHHH

MF DOOM

* - This isn't even a fair fight * - DOOM, you're like Diogenes, you always win, go home, it's no fun with someone who can't be beat here

WEST

* - YOU WIN A HOLLOW VICTORY

MIDWEST

Dre: Are you EMINEM?

YES

Dre: My NIGGA. Have you killed that BITCH KIM yet?

YES

Dre: The EM I know would never kill KIM the BITCH! * - DRE and Ice Cube bust a CAP in your ass * - GAME OVER

NO

Dre: The EM I know already killed KIM the BITCH! * - DRE and Ice Cube bust a CAP in your ass * - GAME OVER

NO

* - DRE and Ice Cube bust a CAP in your ass * - GAME OVER

SOUTH (BEST SIDE)

* - DRE and Ice Cube bust a CAP in your ass * - YOU WIN THOUGH, BECAUSE THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN

POR QUE NO LATINO AMERICANO

Dre : Because I can SEE that you aren't ANA TIJOUX * - DRE and Ice Cube bust a CAP in your ass * - GAME OVER

N-nippon?

Dre : Oh Shit! OUTSIDER is that you?

SURE

Dre : I'm so glad you finally noticed me s-senpai! * - GAME OVER

NAH

Dre : Then what are you doing in my HOUSE?

That is a good question

* - DRE and Ice Cube bust a CAP in your ass * - GAME OVER

I don't know!

* - DRE and Ice Cube bust a CAP in your ass * - GAME OVER * - IS THE GAME EVER REALLY OVER MAN?

I'm your biggest fan (lie)

Dre : I thought motherfuckers had forgot about DRE! * - DRE is flattered * - You leave DRE's house without getting WASTED * - That's winning right?

YES

* - WRONG * - GAME OVER

NO

* - You're right, it isn't. * - There is no victory to be had, only early death and late death. The rewards we satisfy ourselves with before being taken by The Pale Horseman's touch are but an imitation of a catharsis we may never truly have. There are numb lives hugged by death and fulfilling lives hugged by death. * - Please try to have a good day. I hope your life is fulfilling. * - You're doing your best. Please don't feel bad. You are a worthwhile human being and I'm proud of you. * - And hey? Thanks for playing. I know I don't know you, but I love you. * - GAME OVER * -

I THOUGHT THIS WAS GOING TO BE QUIRKY GAME ABOUT RAPPERS

* - I CLOSE MY EYES AND SEIZE IT * - I CLENCH MY FIST AND BEAT IT * - I LIGHT MY TORCH AND BURN IT * - I AM THE BEAST I WORSHIP * - RAAAHHH RAAAAAHHHHHH RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH * - I STAY NOIDED. I'VE SEEN FOOTAGE.

NO, it's MC SNIPER

Dre : Oh shit! SNIP! You're a real hero and a real human bean * - You are now MC SNIPER. * - I GUESS YOU WIN(?).

OUTSIDER is from Korea you fucking pleb

Dre : ... * - DRE has hung his head in shame. * - DRE ran away crying. * - YOU HAVE WON THE WEST.

NIGGA

Dre : Ok! Are you a REAL NIGGA?

Yes

Kendrick Lamar : Ok. * - GAME OVER???

No

* - Ice Cube busts a CAP in your ASS. * - You have blacked out like a little BITCH. * - GAME OVER.

I'm White

Dre : As white as the yayo I snorted off your mom's titties? * - You just got BURNED by DRE * - You don't have any BURN HEAL * - You have blacked out like a little BITCH. * - GAME OVER.

Warning; it's really bad

[UltikanaRe]

Um...alright. I blacked out 5 times. Is RAPPER an acronym?

[Whiskers]

Wu Tang Clan ain't nuttin to fuck wit

[Darcs]

Um...alright. I blacked out 5 times. Is RAPPER an acronym?

@UltikanaRe

Nah, just poking fun at how in the original pokemon some words were just spelled in ALLCAPS for no reason.

Wu Tang Clan ain't nuttin to fuck wit

@Whiskers

You know how it do tho can't even beef

[UltikanaRe]

Terror

You are trying to kill the king. You are at the gate. What do you do?

Ask the guards nicely if you can go in

You would be amazed where that gets you. Click on 'Poison the Guards' and then 'Sneak Through the Secret Passage'. Both of which you avoided.

Poison the guards

When you poison the guard's banquet, They drop like flies. You are in, what next?

Throw your Mighty Javelin at the steel door.

#fail

Sneak Through the Secret Passage

You are successful. You are in the throne room. What next?

Throw a Poison Bomb

Doesn't quite kill him, but his court finishes him off. He was a total douche. What do you call yourself?

Prime Minister

The only answer is Supreme Füher.

President

The only answer is Supreme Füher.

King

The only answer is Supreme Füher.

Emperor

The only answer is Supreme Füher.

The only answer is Supreme Füher.

You win!

First Citizen

Clever move. You win.

Throw an Atomic Bomb

You die, but so does the king. Half-win.

Hack 'n Slash at the throne room door.

You are eviscerated.

Fight them

You die. They kill you. There are 20 guards. What are you thinking?

[MythicalVoid]

WIP

Game one

Welcome to Game one. Here, you will either win, or you will never escape. Have fun! 1

Life

1 2

Create

That's cheating! [Loss]

1 2

Take

Well done, you managed to show Death! Now what?

a

Death

a b

Stop

You think you can just Stop death and get away with it?!? Well, apparently you can....

a b

Give

You just gave someone the power of Death.... Smart move. [Loss]

[Darcs]

Terror

You are trying to kill the king. You are at the gate. What do you do?

Ask the guards nicely if you can go in

You would be amazed where that gets you. Click on 'Poison the Guards' and then 'Sneak Through the Secret Passage'. Both of which you avoided.

Poison the guards

When you poison the guard's banquet, They drop like flies. You are in, what next?

Throw your Mighty Javelin at the steel door.

#fail

Sneak Through the Secret Passage

You are successful. You are in the throne room. What next?

Throw a Poison Bomb

Doesn't quite kill him, but his court finishes him off. He was a total douche. What do you call yourself?

Prime Minister

The only answer is Supreme Füher.

President

The only answer is Supreme Füher.

King

The only answer is Supreme Füher.

Emperor

The only answer is Supreme Füher.

The only answer is Supreme Füher.

You win!

First Citizen

Clever move. You win.

Throw an Atomic Bomb

You die, but so does the king. Half-win.

Hack 'n Slash at the throne room door.

You are eviscerated.

Fight them

You die. They kill you. There are 20 guards. What are you thinking?

@UltikanaRe

Heeeeyyy! Poison worked this time! First Citizen best citizen!

[UltikanaRe]

IKR.

[UltikanaRe]

We need more authors!

[BrobyDDark]

You guys wanna see a story? Check it.

Fresh Prince of Somewhereland

In Somewhereland, born and raised, in the castle is where I spent most of my days.

Chillin' out, maxin', relaxin' all cool

When a couple of marauders who were up to no good started makin' trouble in my neighborhood

Get in one little fight

You dumb fucker. You didn't grab your sword first. You die and have to go back.

Grab sword THEN get in one little fight

You grab the sword you keep on the mantle and proceed to where the marauders are. They's a big bunch of pillaging psychopaths. How do you want to fight them?

Diplomacy!

>big bunch of pillaging psychopaths >bunch of pillaging psychopaths >pillaging psychopaths >psychopaths Go back

Show them what for!

If you're going to insist on using terminology like that, I'll have to insist on changing the way this story goes. You now wear a top-hat and a monocle. You show them what for and they proceed to lay a very gentlemanly smack down on you. Fortunately, you had a Phoenix Down and you got up, ready to fight again! This time, instead of showing your Victorian-era British side, show them why you're the Fresh Prince of Somewhereland.

Immediately begin cutting into them with your sword

Happy to teach them the true meaning of death, you begin to chop into their flesh like it was mushy beef. The marauders who weren't dumb enough to attack you run away, never to be seen until I need a Chekhov's gun

Mend the wounds of those who were injured by the marauders

You make use of your medical training that you learned back in boy scouts and heal the wounded to the best of your abilities. You are hailed as a hero, even though you were just doing your duty as the future king of Somewhereland. After healing those that needed healing, you head back to the castle and up to your room where you place the sword back on the mantle and go back to chillin'.

Fuck the injured, they can take car of themselves. You want to go after the marauders

Who cares about hose who were to weak to deal with the marauders when you have the marauders themselves to care about. You're pretty pissed that they had the balls to walk into your kingdom and fuck with your people. but before we can deal with that, you have some preparation to do.

Stealthily kick their marauding asses

They don't notice you. Nobody notices you. Hell, even you forget you exist for a second. You're god damn wonderful at this. Nobody escapes. You win. End of story. Unfortunately, when you stop sneaking people think you've been doing dark arts and want you to be burned at the stake for making deals with the Dark Gods. What do you do?

Tell the truth and demonstrate your sneaking abilities

Fortunately, the villagers believe your story and let you carry on. You head back to the castle and up to your room where you find a letter waiting on your bed.

Attempt Diplomacy!

The villagers don't know what diplomacy is and when you say it they think you're casting a spell. They grab you and burn you at the stake.

Sneak Away

Easiest way to get out of a situation? No. Best way to get out of a situation? Yes. You head back to the castle and up to your room where you place the sword back on the mantle and go back to chillin'

Who needs swords and stealth when you have perfectly good FISTS?!

When you were in combat training, you decided the only way to kill things is with your bare hands. This sword? It's decorative. The only reason I had you bring it out is because in the official timeline it isn't decorative (that would be the not fun one where you use your sword) Of course, these marauders looked much bigger than you but, unfortunately for them, clothing makes you look skinny. The marauders you didn't fist-magic into a corpse started running, but fell down when you effortlessly chucked their friends bodies at them, knocking them out. You grab them and prepare to take them before the people so they can watch you publicly humiliate them.

After a good workout that was basically an hour of breaking the marauders bones, you decide to head back to the castle

You want to rest. You did a good thing, after all. Once you get back, you throw the sword somewhere in your room then head to the kitchen to tell the chef to make you some lunch. The chef obliges and, in a few hours, the waiters and maids bring you a full-course lunch that consisted of turkey, mashed taters, tomato soup, and several desserts.

Invite the servants to eat with you

You can't possibly eat this all by yourself! And the servants look famished! Wouldn't want to be a dick and ignore them, so you invite them to eat with you. You even let one of them take a turkey wing. After a hardy meal you get up and retreat to your room, where you await another event

The servants have their own food back at their quarters; they don't need to eat MY food

Dick. You dismiss your servants and begin eating; making sloppy noises as you do so. Your father would have your tongue just for making those noises, but he's not here now, is he? After eating as much as you could, you retreated back to your room where a letter was waiting on your bed.

You know the arcane arts!

Fun fact: Marauders are weak to magic. Everything is weak to magic. Another fun fact: Fireballs kill things. Quickly. The marauders who aren't dust and blackened bones begin running away, but they don't get far before you trap them in a cage and prepare to bring them before the people so they may pay for their crimes.

Burn them in the cage

They would have killed you and your people and they might try again if you just let them go. You decide to just torch them in the cage and have the dogs eat their scorched bodies. It's for the best. Afterwards, you head back to the castle and up to your room where you place the sword back on the mantle and go back to chillin'

Let them go

They have the same twisted nature as you. You force them not to attack you when you release them and they happily oblige. They quickly get out of town once they are free, but not before knocking over quite a few stands on the way. Afterwards, you head back to the castle and up to your room where you place the sword back on the mantle and go back to chillin'

Send them to jail!

They can rot in the dungeons for all you care. Fuck 'em! They want to cause shit, they can crawl around in shit. After sentencing them to five years dungeon, you head back to the castle and up to your room where you see a letter waiting for you on your bed. What could this be about?

When suddenly, a dragon attacked!

My father warned me this would happen! What do you do?

Grab your sword which you keep on the mantle

Good thinkin', home slice! Now you can fight the dragon!

Attack the dragon

The dragon is perched on the dungeon's roof, blasting fire at everything, but missing the people. Odd. You climb up the dungeon wall and run at the dragon, prepared to show him what you're made of! The second he sees you, he laughs. "HAHAHA!" He booms, appearing to smile. "So you are ready after all. Well then, prince, I have a quest for you from your father. He says to find a magical flower that grants wishes. He hopes that you will become a great man on this journey! You would be wise to do the quest; it would be great! See ya kid!" And with that, the dragon was off.

Flip disk over for part two

You would be wise to do it!

Escort as many people as you can to safety

You can't save them all, but at least you can save the women and children. However you had to leave the sick and the men behind. They'll die unless you do something...

Go back for them!

They're your people and you have the power to save them!

Do the safe thing and get the people you have already to safety

You huddle all the women and children into the castle so they can wait until everything calms down. Hopefully, the rest of your people can get out alive.

Everything calms down

You get the feeling the dragon is done killing things and has flown away. You walk out to see that not only is that the case, but everything is relatively unharmed. Sure, a couple of stones got knocked loose, but other than that the village is fine. You see the dragon in the distance and decide your only course of action is to follow it. You grab as much supplies as you can and leave the town to start your journey.

Flip the disk over for part two

Do it or else!

The Dragon attacks the castle

So, your plan failed and now everyone is going to die. Unless you stop being a pussy and fight the dragon.

Stop being a pussy and fight the dragon

Enough is enough. If people in this country have to pay taxes then so do dragons. But not with money, with BLOOD! You ready the sword your father gave to you oh so many years ago and prepare to fight the hell monster that has begun plaguing the castle and village you hold so dear. The monster rips open the roof to your castle and pokes it's head in. It begins to open it's mouth to breathe fire, but you slice at it's jugular before it starts. As far as you know, it's jugular is it's only weak point. At least, that's what your combat instructor told you. The dragon begins to retreat but stops when his head is out of the castle. It begins to open it's mouth an you prepare to be scorched alive but instead it begins to speak: "Prince ____, you have passed the test and are worthy of receiving your quest.

What?

Quest? What Quest? What the hell is happening!? You question the dragon and he replies: "Your father sent me to tell you to go on an epic journey to find a magical flower that can grant wishes. He hopes that this quest will toughen you up enough to be a good king."

Flip the disk over for part two

Do it, nerd.

What!?

"Dragons can't speak you scaly bastard!" You hear one of the women scream in the background. You agree. the dragon begins to speak again, this time directing his voice at everyone: "SILENCE! I WILL NOT HAVE NONE OF YOUR SCIENCE HERE, MORTALS! ALL HIGHER DRAGONS CAN SPEAK! I have come for the prince. He must go on a quest to find a flower that grants wishes, per the kings request!"

Flip the disk over for part two

Do it now!

Continue being a pussy

You continue to cower in fear as the dragon rips the roof off of your castle and stares in. You see him opening his mouth to breathe fire but he is cut short by you pissing yourself. "Ah geez. You're not ready. You are definitely not ready. See ya, kid." Go back.

Part two or no?

[UltikanaRe]

Viewing raw data...Wow. I applaud you. Part 2 indeed!