[IC] Let Me Steal Your Heart [BuzzingBee + Dagger]

[Rogue Sloth]

When Crow arrived at the Great Hall, he habitually stopped to look for Penelope among the crowd. It wasn’t long before he spotted her, and he smiled to himself before taking a step toward her table. However, in the next moment, he wavered, noticing that she was eating her supper with a knight he recognized as Tybalt, the captain of the castle guard. Remembering that she had made plans to eat with the older man in an attempt to get answers about his nightmare, he reluctantly turned away from the two. He was still doubtful that her questioning was going to get her anywhere, but he didn’t want to interrupt them regardless.

Letting his eyes wander over the other faces in the room, he eventually caught sight of Naida eating at a different table. His sister caught his gaze and waved, beckoning him over. Unfortunately, though he would have liked to spend time with her, he wasn’t as fond of her company. He hesitated as his gaze rested on Braden’s back. It had been a while since the last time he’d spoken to his brother, but none of their encounters had been positive so far, so he didn’t really feel like trying to speak with the crown prince again.

Naida didn’t give him much of a choice.

“Hey, Collin!” she called out when he made no moves to join her. “Over here!”

Crow grimaced as her loud voice drew the attention of the other people in the Great Hall. Some of the nobles near her looked up from their conversations to eye him across the room. Not wanting to stand out any more than he already did, he ducked his head slightly and made his way over to the princess. There was no point in avoiding her now, especially since Braden was one of the nobles who was staring at him.

As soon as he was seated at the table, the princess nudged him, “Where have you been lately? I haven’t seen you at breakfast in a while.”

“I’ve just been sleeping in later than usual,” Crow shrugged, feeling a twinge of guilt for lying to his sister so easily. “If you’re ever around in the later morning, we might cross paths.”

“I wish I could,” Naida sighed. “But father always has me working on something or other early in the day. That’s why I get breakfast right away.”

“It’s better than spending time with a peasant,” Braden muttered from across the table, poking irritably at his food.

Crow rolled his eyes without saying anything, but Naida didn’t dismiss his words as easily.

“He’s not a peasant anymore, Braden,” she narrowed her eyes at him. “And besides that, he’s family, so you should stop making such rude comments.”

“I’ll stop when he quits pretending he belongs here,” the prince spat, shooting Crow a hateful glare.

“My mother may have been a peasant, but I share just as much of father’s blood as you do,” Crow quipped, resting his chin calmly in his hand. He wasn’t bothered by the other man’s harshness. Though Braden was his brother, the prince’s opinion meant little to him. As long as he refused to treat him with any respect, the viceroy had every intention of returning the favor.

His remark seemed to get under Braden’s skin. His brother clicked his tongue, “That doesn’t change the fact that you shouldn’t be here. Just do us all a favor and go back to where you came from, village rat.”

“Braden,” Naida hissed warningly.

“No,” the prince turned his glare on her. “Everyone is too scared of father to say something, so I will.” He tilted his chin up at the viceroy. “It was a mistake for father to have brought you here. I don’t know what he was thinking by giving you a title you don’t deserve, but he should have left you, forgotten on the filthy border.” With that, he stood abruptly from the table and stepped away, only glancing back at them once to address his sister, “I’m going to eat in my room, where there’s no stench of street trash to ruin my appetite.”

“Gods,” Naida groaned exaggeratedly as he walked haughtily away from them. She offered Crow an apologetic look. “Sorry. He just found out that you were at father’s last meeting, and he’s been in a foul mood ever since.”

“I can tell,” the viceroy made a face. “That’s the worst his attitude has been since he found out we’re related.”

“He’ll get used to you eventually,” Naida shook her head. “Unfortunately, until he gets it through that thick skull of his that you’re not after the throne, he’s going to keep acting like a child.”

“Lovely,” Crow muttered. He looked up as Preston stopped by to bring him his supper. Once the attendant had walked away again, he returned his focus to his sister, conversing with her while he ate. Of course, he didn’t have much to say to her since, even though they hadn’t crossed paths during breakfast recently, they had talked within the last few days and didn’t have much to tell each other. Naida had been busy with a few guard shifts and some extra training that Albin wanted her to go through, and Crow had spent all his free time on his lessons. By the end of it, they were both in better moods though, having recovered from Braden’s earlier outburst.

Eventually, the light faded from the windows overhead, and Crow began to feel his exhaustion catching up with him once again. He bid a quick farewell to his sister and headed back to the corridor that led to his room for the night. On the way, he yawned tiredly and stretched his arms over his head. His nap had done him some good that evening, but he could tell that its effects were already starting to wear off.

Rounding the corner on the third floor on his way to his bed chamber, the viceroy slowed his walk as he caught sight of Penelope up ahead. His heartbeat picked up of its own accord, and a smile tugged at his lip. Even though he wasn’t thrilled about the fact that she knew how his nightmares had been affecting him, he supposed it was nice to know that she was going to be close by. He liked being able to speak to her privately for a little while every night.

“Hey, love,” he greeted her, casting a quick glance over his shoulder before pressing a kiss to her cheek. “Did you get everything done today that you wanted to?”

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope moved to take up her usual position. The knight tried to keep alert but admittedly found it a bit difficult. Weariness aside, she was buzzing with excitement after finally getting the answers she had been hoping for from Tybalt. Though she didn't truly realize it, her attention was much more focused on the corner of the corridor as she waited for the viceroy rather than keeping a proper watch on the corridor.

Luckily she didn't have to wait for long. She had only been standing guard for a short time before Crow came into sight as he rounded the corner. A grin spread across her lips, her usual happiness to see him amplified by the solutions she had learned about to help him. She glanced around and moved to meet him as he headed over to her. "Hey." she greeted him in return, looking up at him with a joyful gaze as he kissed her cheek.

"I did. Today went surprisingly well actually." she told him. She paused and swept her gaze over the corridor to double check that they were completely alone. When she didn't spot anyone, she relaxed once more and placed a hand on his arm. "Tybalt had solutions to dealing with your nightmares that could work." she told him excitedly as she lowered her voice. Despite seeing that they were alone in the hall, she couldn't help but be additionally cautious about such information. Especially considering how private Crow had been about it.

"I guess training hard worked the best for him. He said that if you tire the body the mind usually follows." she explained, going on before he had a chance to reply as she was wrapped up in her eagerness to share all that she had learned that night. "He also mentioned something about other knights taking a moment to clear their minds before bed or praying to the gods."

Penelope paused as her excitement died down a bit. "He also said that these methods aren't completely guaranteed to work though... But I'm hopeful." she smiled up at him. "Plus he also mentioned a way to help deal with the panic a bit better in the morning even if they don't work."

[Rogue Sloth]

Penelope’s excitement caught Crow a bit off guard. Of course, he was happy to see her too, but she seemed nearly giddy with joy when their gazes first met across the hall. He wondered why she was in such a good mood. If hadn’t been that long since they had last seen each other, and it wasn’t a surprise that they would be crossing paths before he retired to his bed chamber for the night. Whatever the case, her enthusiasm was infectious, and he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his lips as she looked up at him so happily.

When the knight went on to tell him that her day went well, he was glad to hear it. However, before he had a chance to say so, he was surprised to find out that Tybalt had solutions for his nightmares that might work. He shifted his weight uncomfortably, wanting to believe that she had found something to help him, but skeptical about the possibility. After all, he remembered the “solution” Eldon had given her before. He wasn’t keen to start taking strange medicines or get drunk to stop his dreams. Personal convictions aside, it was too dangerous to try in the middle of the castle. Still, he didn’t want to shut her down so quickly when she was clearly excited about her findings, so he stayed quiet without interrupting.

To his astonishment, Penelope didn’t bring up any of the remedies he had been expecting her to. As she described how her guard captain had used physical training to wear himself out during the day, he considered her words a bit more seriously. He still didn’t know if he believed the trick would work for him since he’d never tried it before, but it was so different from all the other options that it might have been worth a shot. At the very least, it was the first doable suggestion he’d been given in regards to dealing with his nightmares. He could already feel his heartbeat begin to quicken in spite of himself.

As she continued on to tell him about the knights who prayed before they went to bed, Crow nodded, though he doubted such a method would work for him. He’d spent plenty of time praying to the gods when he’d been desperate in the past, but it was hard to tell if they listened to him. Sometimes it seemed to work, such as when he had prayed to the god of hunting in Younis two years ago in order to shoot the archers on the battlement—he was pretty sure that hadn’t just been his doing, since he had only practiced with a bow for a few days prior to the event—but most of the time, his pleas were met with silence. Whenever he’d asked the gods to take the nightmares away before, those prayers had gone ignored too. He didn’t see the point in beating a dead horse.

“It’s… more than I thought you’d find,” Crow shook his head, still in disbelief that she had gotten so much done in just one conversation. He averted his gaze, sheepish to admit his curiosity as he added, “So… what did he say I should do if I still panic? Since I don’t have time to train tonight, I mean.”

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope studied Crow after she finished relaying the information, eager to see his reaction to her findings. Especially since he had been rather sure she wouldn't find anything to help him. As he finally responded, the knight gave a small chuckle as he admitted it was more than he was expecting. Though he didn't admit it out loud, she guessed that he was likely a bit excited about the solutions she had given him. After all, he wasn't denying them like he would have with Eldon's and instead his pessimistic attitude was replaced by one of disbelief.

It made her stand up a bit straighter, a bit proud that her efforts to help him were paying off. Hopefully, at least. There was still a chance that the solutions Tybalt presented her As he went on to ask her what to do if he panicked, she paused thinking over what Tybalt had told her. "Well, he said it's pretty much all in the breathing. I guess there's a technique where you inhale a deep breath through your nose and hold it for a few seconds before releasing it out of your mouth."

The knight tried to suppress a yawn but failed. Letting it out, she gave her head a small shake, trying to ignore her weariness again as she looked back up at Crow. Penelope glanced around the corridor before reaching to take his hand in hers. "Hopefully it works for you but regardless, I'll be there tomorrow morning. I'll try to help again." she assured him, giving his hand a soft squeeze before letting go.

[Rogue Sloth]

“I see,” Crow mused when Penelope told him how to handle the panic that came with his nightmares in the morning. He supposed he could see how a breathing exercise would work to calm him down—it had always helped him focus in the past—but it sounded much easier said than done. Every time he’d woken up lately, he had been too consumed by his dreams to even recognize where he was or who was with him. He wasn’t sure how he would be able to be self-aware enough to control his breathing during such an episode.

It’s still better than nothing, he reasoned, chewing thoughtfully on the inside of his lip. Learning to control his breathing in the middle of a panic attack was probably going to be difficult, but if the trick would work to stop the trauma, then it was worth trying.

When Penelope took his hand, Crow met her gaze again, drawn from his thoughts. Her assurance brought a smile to his lips. While he still didn’t want her to worry about him every morning, he supposed there was another part of him that was relieved to know she would be there when the nightmare struck again. It felt good to know that he wouldn’t be alone. “I know you will,” he said softly, leaning in to meet her lips in a brief yet tender kiss. “Thanks, love. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Letting out a long yawn of his own, the viceroy turned and made his way to his bedchamber. While the thought of facing the nightmare again was still unnerving to him, he felt less apprehensive than usual about getting some sleep now that it seemed there might really be a solution for his dreams on the horizon. He hoped the methods Penelope had found would work, so he could move on from this unpleasant phase of his life and get back to some kind of normalcy.

Feeling slightly more optimistic than usual, it didn’t take long for him to fall into a light sleep once he finished settling down for the night in his room.

--

The following morning wasn’t any easier for Crow, despite the hope he’d gained the night before. As always, he woke up hysteric, frightened into an unresponsive state by the vividness of his dream. He could still see the corpses, the knights, and even Jaxon’s twisted smirk. All memory of his conversation with Penelope went forgotten as he suddenly realized he could smell the sharp odor of blood. The smell caused his eyes to widen as he hurriedly checked himself over to find out where he was injured.

Of course, there was no sign of a wound anywhere on his body, and he squeezed his eyes shut, convinced he was going mad. In the back of his head, he knew he was in the castle, but it was hard to focus on that fact when everything else felt just as real. He clutched his head in his hands, hoping that one of the overlapping realities would go away soon, so he could at least protect himself if he really was in danger.

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope smiled softly at the viceroy and leaned in to meet his lips as he briefly kissed her. "Good night. See you then." she told him as they parted. She glanced over her shoulder as Crow walked off to his room and let out a long sigh. With Crow gone and her news about his dreams delivered, the knight's excitement died down as she was now left alone in the quiet corridor. Though her shift had just began, her eyelids were already beginning to feel heavy. She rubbed a hand over her face, in hopes of fighting off the drowsiness as she prepared herself for a long night.

---

By the next morning, she was exhausted. Penelope found herself leaning heavily against the wall and fighting to keep her eyes open. With nothing to distract her and the corridor silent as ever, she nearly began to nod off. However, the faint sound of passing footsteps caught her attention and her head popped up just in time to spot Preston making his way to Crow's room. He'll probably be waking up soon.. she thought with a faint frown, too tired and distracted by the thought to catch the interested look of Preston.

Rubbing her eyes with the back of her hands, she attempted to wake herself up a bit, preparing to make her way to the viceroy's room as well. Penelope pushed herself off the wall and began to stretch out her back when the sound of Crow's scream made her freeze. However, this time she knew the reason for it and while still concerned about him, wasn't as panicked as the day before. The knight frowned to herself, hoping that the viceroy was able to calm himself with the technique she had told him about the night before. Unwilling to wait and find out, she hurried off to his room to be there for him.

Unfortunately almost as soon as she got there, she realized that the former thief was faring no better than he had the other day. This time Preston didn't bother to try and usher her out of the room and instead just exchanged a worried look with her. Penelope quickly turned her focus back onto Crow and hurried over to his bedside. She placed her hand on his back, aware that he probably didn't realize she was even there yet. "Crow, it's alright, you're alright." she told him keeping her voice soft. "Remember, breath in, hold it, and then let it out through your mouth."

[Rogue Sloth]

Crow felt dizzy. He could tell he wasn’t getting enough air. Unable to slow his shallow breathing, he was beginning to wonder if his panic was going to make him pass out this time. It was hard to say which was worse: staying awake and continuing to endure the vivid images and nauseating odor of blood or letting himself fall asleep and risking getting trapped in the nightmare all over again. He wasn’t sure why he was even bothering to compare the two though. It wasn’t like he had a choice if he was going to hyperventilate into unconsciousness. Perhaps his overwhelmed mind just needed something else to think about that wasn’t quite as stressful as everything else.

“Crow, it’s alright. You’re alright.”

The sound of a voice caught the viceroy’s attention. It sounded warm and familiar and was just enough to give him pause in the midst of his panic. Penelope? He bit his lip. It sounded like her, but he’d also thought he could smell blood, and that had all been in his head. Who was to say that this time was any different? The thought was discouraging, but it seemed legitimate enough to him. It was also enough to dissuade him from opening his eyes to find out if she was really there or not. After all, it would have been much worse for him to get his hopes up and then see that he really had just imagined her. He didn’t know if he could take that.

“Remember, breathe in, hold it, and then let it out through your mouth.”

Vaguely, Penelope’s words sounded familiar to him. He almost felt like he could remember what she was talking about, but the memory was just out of reach. The thought was frustrating to him. He wanted to press into it more, but it was difficult when the delusions of his nightmare were so much more prominent in his mind. Still, desperate for relief, he forced himself to try.

Fighting back against the overbearing vision of his dream, Crow managed to think back to their conversation the night before. He recalled that she had told him the same thing about breathing then too, but why? What was so important about breathing that she was telling him again now?

Escape. It’s an escape.

Suddenly, his heart leapt into his throat as he realized she was telling him how to get out of his panic. His hope didn’t last long, however. Sure, she had given him a solution, but he didn’t know if he could do it. He was currently breathing so rapidly that he had just been wondering if he would pass out moments before. It seemed impossible that he could get his breath under control well enough to follow her directions. Still, he had to try.

Attempting to do what Penelope said, Crow inhaled shakily. Unfortunately, as hard as he tried to hold his breath, he couldn’t stop the impulse to let it out again. He gasped, his lungs snapping shut in protest as he lost control once again. The failure made his heart race wildly as tendrils of doubt began to creep over his mind. What if he couldn’t escape? What if he wasn’t strong enough? What if he was stuck in the nightmare for good this time? His thoughts began to spiral, causing him to panic more.

“I-I can’t,” he choked out. While he still wasn’t sure if Penelope was really beside him, he wanted to talk to her, so he responded anyway. He went on between ragged breaths, “It’s too hard… I can’t do it.”

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope frowned as Crow didn't seem to even register her words. His uneven and short breath continued and this time the viceroy didn't even react to her presence like before. She knitted her brow concernedly. If she couldn't get him to even realize she was there, it'd be a lot more difficult for her to help him. The knight was beginning to try and think of other things to do when she heard him suddenly take in a large breath. She blinked and then gave a small,hopeful smile as she realized that he was attempting to follow her instructions.

Since he seemed to realize what she was telling him to do, she relaxed a little too soon. As he went onto try and hold his breath, the knight was caught off guard as he suddenly gasped. Penelope jumped slightly as he failed to hold his breath and her eyes widened as the failure nearly seemed to make his breathing worse. It sparked worry in her. What if he wouldn't be able to use the technique? He already seemed worse than the day before so what if his initial panic from the dream was merely too strong? She grew a bit tense at the thought.

However, she was quickly distracted from her worries as he went on to speak to her. The sound of his choking voice and ragged breaths made her push aside her own concerns. She had to get him to try again, hating that he was stuck in such a state. Even if her concerns turned out to be true, at least she would know for sure. Penelope shifted to wrap an arm around him, pressing closer to him and she leaned down to kiss his forehead. "You can do it.. You just had a little bit of trouble, that's all. Come on, try again. I'll do it with you this time ok?" she murmured softly to him.

She reached for his hand and gave it a soft, reassuring squeeze. "Just... Breath in." she inhaled deeply, paused and then let it out with her mouth. "And breath out. You got this."

[Rogue Sloth]

In the brief silence that followed his words, Crow worried that his fear had been right and that he had just imagined Penelope’s voice beside him. However, his fright was quickly put to rest when he suddenly felt her wrap an arm around his back and kiss him on the forehead. The sensation of her touch grounded him just enough to realize that she really was present with him. It wasn’t his imagination playing tricks. Even though the images of his nightmare were vivid, he had never been able to feel anything that happened to him in them. The knight had to have been next to him if he could feel the warmth and pressure of her embrace.

Reassured by the thought, he leaned into her slightly, taking comfort in her touch. Her gentle voice was soothing to him as well, and he felt a fresh surge of confidence as she spoke to him. She sounded like she thought he could handle getting his breathing under control, so maybe he really could do it. He certainly wanted to. After all, if calming down was the way to make the nightmare stop, then he didn’t want to give up after just one failure. He had to keep trying.

In the next moment, Crow felt Penelope reach for his hand. He wished he could take hers as well, but he was still too shaky to move his arms. Instead, he offered her a weak nod to indicate that he was listening to her as she went on to give him instructions to breathe again. This time, with the assurance of her touch and voice, he managed to inhale without losing control. He couldn’t breathe in as deeply as he felt her do beside him, but he was able to hold in the air until they exhaled together.

At first, he didn’t feel anything different—he was still trembling from panic—but the success of the exercise was enough to encourage him to press on. He repeated taking slow breaths a few more times until his heartbeat began to slow down with his breathing. As it did, he realized the odor of blood that had been so strong before had faded away. He felt a bubble of hope rise up in his chest. The trick was working after all.

It took a few more minutes, but eventually, Crow’s panic simmered down and disappeared as well. Once it was gone, he leaned a bit more heavily into Penelope’s side, exhausted from the effort of fighting. His jaw hung open slightly and he panted to get his heartrate back to its normal speed.

“I hate this,” he murmured, shaking his head and wrapping his arms around the knight’s waist to pull her closer. He stayed still for a moment longer, waiting until it felt like the episode had fully passed, before he looked up to meet her gaze. “Well, I guess you found something that works,” he spoke softly with a halfhearted smile. “Thank you for helping me calm down.”

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope watched Crow carefully as she worked with him to get his breathing to normal. She was elated to notice that with the second try he was able to fully perform the breathing exercise. While it was difficult for her to tell if it was actually working for him, she was at least a bit more hopeful seeing that he could actually do it. Encouraged by that thought, she continued to take breaths alongside him for a little while longer until he seemed to have a stable rhythm down.

She gave a relieved look as his panic seeming to be dying down thanks to the technique. It gave her hope that the other answers that Tybalt had given her would work as well. As Crow leaned into her, she rubbed her hand up and down his back slowly while he recovered. She gave a soft murmur of agreement at his words and pressed another kiss to the top of his head as he pulled her closer. As he met her gaze, she returned his smile and let out a quiet sigh. "I guess so."

Her smile wavered though as another thought came to mind. Would he be able to remember how to do it alone though? She wouldn't be the overnight guard in that corridor anymore, which meant that come the next morning, he'd be alone once again. If he was in the same state of panic, there was a chance he'd forget how to do the breathing or remember but not feel confident enough to follow through with it. It made her shift her gaze away from him, uneased by the thought but not wanting him to notice. However, as she did, her gaze landed on Preston who was sitting across the room, glancing in their direction. Well.. he won't be completely alone.. she realized. Perhaps, even if she couldn't be there, he could still get help. She'd have to speak with the boy at some point, knowing it was unlikely for Crow to ask him for help he might actually need.

She looked back down at Crow and let out a small sigh. "Well I just hope that this isn't the only thing that works." she mused quietly.

[Rogue Sloth]

Crow closed his eyes again as he continued to lean against Penelope, finding her touch especially comforting after the stressful way he’d woken up that morning. Part of him was tempted to fall asleep where he was, since he felt like he’d been up all night again. Though he was still nervous about facing his nightmare again, he felt much more secure with the knight by his side than he had when he’d been alone. Plus, now that she’d proven that she could help him calm down when he panicked, he wasn’t quite as worried about dealing with the anxiety in the first place. He relaxed his hold on her slightly as the temptation to drift off grew stronger.

In his weariness, he didn’t notice Penelope’s unease, and was nearly half asleep by the time she spoke up again. The viceroy blinked his eyes open and stretched, nodding tiredly when she said she hoped the other solutions would work too. “That would be nice,” he mused, wrapping her up in a tighter embrace now that he was feeling slightly more awake than before. “But even if they don’t, this is better than nothing. In fact, it’s the first method that’s ever worked for me before, so I think I’d call that a success.”

He leaned up to touch a tender kiss to her lips, and then froze when he heard someone clear their throat off to the side. Turning away from Penelope, he saw Preston glancing between them and the door. The servant seemed uncomfortable about something, but he wasn’t sure what had set him off. Deciding it was unimportant, the viceroy casted the thought aside.

“Yes?” he said dryly, mildly annoyed by the interruption.

“I don’t mean to be rude,” Preston frowned. “But you might not want to do that.”

“Why not?” Crow rolled his eyes. “It’s just the three of us here. There’s no harm.” He turned back to Penelope, ready to ignore the attendant’s protest, but stopped again when the boy spoke up once more.

“Right now it’s just us,” Preston shuffled his feet in an antsy manner. “But Eldon insisted on seeing you this morning to check up on your cough. He’ll be here any time now.”

Crow groaned and leaned his head against Penelope’s chest again. “Can’t you just tell him to come back later?”

“He’s got a busy schedule,” Preston shook his head. “If he doesn’t see you this morning, he’s going to be upset.”

“Fine,” the viceroy muttered. He pressed a little closer to the knight, reluctant to let her go, and sighed in frustration, “Gods, we never get any time to ourselves around here, do we?”

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope gave a weary smile as she noticed Crow was still rather tired. She couldn't help but sympathize with him. Despite not having nightmares to keep her from getting a proper night's rest, the knight was a bit sleep deprived from all the work she had to do the day before. With the distraction of Crow's panic gone, she began to feel her weariness a bit more heavily once more. As he spoke up to say he still counted it as a success, she nodded her head in agreement.

When he leaned up to kiss her, she smiled a little more genuinely and closed her eyes as she leaned down to meet his lips. The moment didn't last long though as she heard someone clear their throat. Penelope pulled back and looked over to Preston as the boy seemed uncomfortable. At first, the knight thought it was due to their closeness and she shifted a bit awkwardly, wondering if she should put some distance between her and Crow. She was reluctant to but so far, it seemed the attendant had kept his mouth shut about their relationship so she didn't want to give him a reason to.

However, she quickly found out that wasn't the case. As Preston went on to say that Eldon would be stopping by that morning, she frowned a little and glanced towards the door, knowing she should leave before the physician showed up. It'd be difficult to explain why she was in his room if he caught her there. Even if he didn't ask too much, she didn't want to risk him spreading any rumors. As Crow pressed closer to her instead of letting her go, Penelope looked down at him and brushed back a strand of hair from his face. "We don't." she agreed. A frown crossed her expression as she realized she'd likely be seeing even less of him in the coming days since she'd be busy with both guard duty and the party.

"But hopefully that'll be changing soon... I should get going before he gets here though." she sighed and pressed one last kiss to his cheek before pulling away from him. She made her way towards the door but paused as she casted a glance towards Preston. "By the way Preston, I'm not going to be able to be here in the mornings since this was my last night guard shift here this week. I was hoping you'd be able to help him if he can't remember how to get out of his panic." she told him with a glance at Crow.

"Ah... I don't know if I can do it quite like you." Preston pointed out.

Penelope blushed a little at the insinuation and then gave a small awkward laugh. "All you have to do is get him to breath through his nose, hold it and then release it. As long as you can get him to do that, I think it'll be ok." she explained.

"Alright." the attendant agreed dipping his head.

Penelope gave him a grateful nod and then glanced over at Crow, giving him a small shrug. Whether he liked it or not, she wanted to make sure he wouldn't get stuck in his panicked state or make himself pass out with his ragged breathing. Plus knowing Preston would help him if needed gave her a small peace of mind, even though she still wished she could be there for him in the morning. "I'll see you later then." she told the viceroy before turning to head out the door. However, the knight didn't even get to take one step out as she spotted a figure heading down the corridor towards Crow's room. She paled and ducked her head back into the room. Eldon was already approaching.

"Eldon's coming." she announced to the other two, her eyes wide with alarm.

[Rogue Sloth]

Crow nodded reluctantly when Penelope said she needed to get going. The last thing he wanted was to separate from her when he only just got over his last panic attack, since her presence was so comforting. However, he knew it was more important that they keep their relationship a secret from Eldon, so he didn’t argue over the matter any further. Instead, he smiled faintly at the kiss she pressed to his cheek and let his arms fall from around her so she could put some distance between them.

As the knight made her way over to the door, Crow leaned back on the palms of his hands to watch her go. Even though he didn’t want to part ways, he felt much better than he had just minutes before. His anxiety was completely gone, and aside from the additional weariness from a lack of good sleep, he felt mostly normal. He would be fine without her after she left his bedchamber.

The viceroy glanced between Penelope and Preston as the former spoke up to the latter. Her request made him tense uncomfortably. While he had accepted her help to recover from his nightmares in the mornings, he had only done so hesitantly and because he trusted her. The attendant had certainly won a bit of his trust throughout their time together, but he still didn’t like the idea of relying on the boy to do the same thing. The thought of waking up to Preston’s voice instead of hers was unsettling.

Unfortunately, he didn’t have a chance to protest before the deal had been struck between the two, and Penelope turned to him with a shrug. Knowing she had probably already guessed the argument he would make, he kept his mouth shut and simply let out his breath in a moody exhale. There was no point in trying to fight it anyway. As much as he hated to admit it, he needed help, and Preston was the next best aid if she wasn’t going to be around. He didn’t have any other choice but to accept the situation.

“See you,” Crow yawned, moving to swing his legs over the edge of the bed as she left the room. Now that he was awake, he supposed he might as well get dressed for breakfast. He was too nervous about his dreams to risk fitting in a nap, and his empty stomach craved food. However, as soon as his feet touched the floor, he halted in surprise, looking up to see Penelope hurry back inside his chamber. He blinked confusedly. Surely she didn’t think a little more time together was worth getting caught by Eldon? He opened his mouth to ask what she was doing, but didn’t get the chance to before she explained that the physician was already coming.

The viceroy’s eyes widened and quickly swept over the room as he raced to think of a way to keep the healer from discovering what was going on between them. “Over here,” he hurriedly stepped over to the wardrobe and opened the door, gesturing for Penelope to get inside. With no time to come up with a better solution, it was the best idea he could think of. He just hoped the physician didn’t have a reason to look inside while he was visiting.

“I can stand in front of it while Eldon speaks with you,” Preston offered, walking up beside him.

“Thanks,” Crow nodded to him and turned back to Penelope with an apologetic look. “Sorry, love. Just wait here until—” He didn’t finish the thought as a knock suddenly sounded at the door.

Out of time, he closed the wardrobe while Preston made his way over to answer the physician. Quietly, he stepped back over to his bedside, attempting to make it appear that he’d just gotten up while drawing the old man’s attention away from the knight’s hiding place.

It seemed to work.

“Ah, good, you’re still here,” Eldon said gruffly as he entered the bedchamber with his bag of supplies.

“This is early to me,” Crow shrugged, stretching his arms over his head a bit exaggeratedly to keep up his charade. “What do you need?”

“I need nothing,” the physician grunted. He set his bag down on the edge of the bed and began to rifle through it. “Sit down and take off your shirt.”

Crow rolled his eyes. He’d nearly forgotten how unpleasant the old man could be. Nevertheless, he did as he was told to get him to leave as quickly as possible.

Eldon nodded wordlessly, seeming pleased with his patient’s compliance, and stepped over to begin his examination. Naturally, he started by checking the viceroy’s cough. The physician pressed down on and around the spot that usually triggered a fit. It did this time as well, though to Crow’s relief, the episode was short and didn’t bring up any blood as it used to.

“Excellent,” Eldon nodded again. He dug through his bag once more to retrieve a vial of medicine. “This should be the last dose you need to clear the rest of that cough up.”

“Thank the gods for that,” Crow sighed as he took the container from the old man and downed the contents.

“Yes, well, I never said it was the last medicine I was going to give you altogether,” Eldon said carelessly, taking the vial back from the viceroy and stowing it with his things.

“What do you mean?” Crow knitted his brow.

“It seems to me that you need a sleeping draught,” the old man answered without looking up.

Crow felt his blood run cold. Had word of his night terrors reached the healer’s ears already? He shifted his weight warily. If Eldon knew, it was only a matter of time before the physician told his father. He didn’t want Albin to get involved.

“I don’t need it,” he objected with a shake of his head. “I’m sleeping just fine at night.”

“I’m not sure why you’re trying to lie to me right now, but whatever your reason may be, you might as well give up now,” Eldon scoffed. He reached up with his right hand to point a gnarled finger at his patient’s face, getting close enough that the viceroy leaned away from him uncomfortably. “Your eyes are red, and you’ve got dark circles underneath them. A telltale sign that you’re not getting enough rest.” Turning away again, he picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. “I’ll prepare an elixir for you to take tonight. Please don’t try to be a martyr and drink it, would you?”

Crow wavered for a moment before he nodded, “Alright.” He doesn’t know about my nightmares after all, he breathed an internal sigh of relief.

“Very good,” Eldon nodded once more before turning back to the door. “I’ll send the elixir with your manservant later this evening. Good day.” With that, he dipped his head in a curt farewell and disappeared through the door.

As soon as he was gone, Crow moved quickly to open the wardrobe where Penelope was hidden. “Sorry, he stayed longer than I was expecting,” he said with a frown, stepping back again to give her room. “I don’t think he knew you were here though.”

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope glanced around looking for a way out of the situation they were about to be in if Eldon walked into the room. As Crow ushered her over to the wardrobe, she quickly complied and followed him over. She stepped inside as he gestured for her to go in and pressed her back against the wood as she shuffled in between the various clothes. The knight was about to reply to him as he tried to apologize but didn't get the chance to as a knock came from the door. As the wardrobe door shut, she held her breath as Eldon entered the room, remaining tense as she tried to listen for any sound of suspicion in his voice.

Luckily it seemed that the physician had no clue about her being stuffed in the wardrobe. Penelope let out a silent breath as Eldon went on with his regular procedures with Crow. Now that she knew Eldon wasn't suspicious, all she had to do was remain quiet and wait for the old man to leave. Shifting carefully she leaned against a few clothes that were hanging on one side of her in an attempt to get a bit more comfortable since it seemed this check up was going to take some time.

The fabrics were soft and pressed together they nearly felt like a pillow to the weary knight. Combined with the darkness of the shut wardrobe, she began to feel drowsy as her eyelids grew heavy. The meeting with Eldon seemed to be continuing outside but the voices had began to fade to the knight. With nothing to distract her and nothing else to do, she closed her eyes for a moment. It was difficult to stay awake even though she was standing up when the clothing around her kept her both warm and provided her a soft spot to rest her head. Slowly she began to lean more heavily against the side of the wardrobe.

The knight jumped at the sound of door opening. Penelope blinked tiredly and pushed herself up as her gaze rested on Crow, who had now opened the wardrobe again. "It's fine." she said a bit sheepishly as she tried to subtly rub her eyes in hopes that he hadn't noticed her nearly taking a nap. She took a step out of the wardrobe and stretched. "Alright, now hopefully I'll be able to get out of here before anyone else comes."

[Rogue Sloth]

As he studied Penelope’s face a little closer, Crow was surprised to find that she seemed drowsy. At first, he felt a pang of guilt, jumping to the conclusion that she was tired because she had gotten up early to help him handle his panic attack. However, he pushed the feeling aside when he remembered that she had already been on guard in the hallway near his room. Perhaps her shift had just worn her out? The more he thought about it, the more likely it seemed. She probably just needed to get some rest after staying awake for so long.

“You should be alright now that Eldon’s gone,” he assured her, stepping back over to his bedside to collect the linen shirt he’d left on the mattress. “There aren’t very many people who come through this way aside from the occasional guard, and they shouldn’t find your presence suspicious since you were assigned to be up here last night.”

“They might find her lack of presence suspicious though,” Preston spoke up as he sifted through the open wardrobe for a change of clothes for the viceroy to wear for the day.

Crow turned to him with a frown, “What do you mean?”

“Well,” the attendant went on, draping a dark red tunic over his arm. “Don’t the castle guards usually switch shifts about this time?” When the viceroy didn’t say anything, he turned to Penelope. “Whoever is supposed to relieve you might find it strange if you’re not where you’re supposed to be.”

Finally understanding what the boy was saying, Crow paled slightly. Between the amount of time it had taken him to recover from his panic attack and the delay caused by Eldon’s appearance, Penelope had already been in his bedchamber for quite some time that morning. While he wasn’t sure exactly when the next guard would be replacing her in the corridor, he was certain they had to be arriving soon.

“He’s right,” he casted the knight a wistful look. “As much as I’d love to have you around longer, you should get back to your post before someone realizes you’re gone.”

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope gave a small nod as Crow pointed out that she'd be fine now that Eldon has left. With that in mind, she didn't head straight for the door and instead took a moment to try and wake up more. She was just beginning to roll her shoulders when Preston spoke up and caught her attention. Her eyes widened slightly as the attendant reminded her that someone would be coming to take over her guard shift soon.

Between her weariness and all that had been going on that morning, it had slipped her mind to worry about getting out of the room before the next guard showed up. She cringed at the thought of the next guard already being stationed in the corridor. She needed to get going. As Crow spoke, she nodded her head in agreement and began to make her way to the door. "Hopefully they haven't already." she sighed and opened the door to poke her head out. Luckily the corridor was empty now and she let out a breath of relief. She glanced over her shoulder at Crow and offered him a small smile. "Looks like I lucky this time. I 'll see you later, Crow."

With that said, she hurried out into the corridor and quickly resumed her guard position. Fortunately, she made it just in time as footsteps from down the corridor caught her attention. The next guard had appeared and was making his way over to her. Upon seeing him, she dipped her head and exchanged spots with him as she headed off down the staircase. As she made her way down, the knight began to debate whether to go to the Great Hall or not. She was hungry but she was also quite tired and had a midday shift to be concerned about. In an ideal world, she could have grabbed something to eat and then slept the day away, however that unfortunately wasn't an option at the moment.

As she neared the Great Hall, the knight wavered for a moment before ultimately deciding to head inside for breakfast. I'll just have a quick bite and then sleep the rest of the morning. she decided as she made her way over to an empty table. She sat down a bit heavily and leaned against the table as she waited for her meal.

[Rogue Sloth]

As Penelope walked over to the door, Crow trailed a short distance behind her with a hint of worry on his face. It could have already been too late for them to hide what had happened that morning if the next guard had already replaced her in the corridor. He wasn’t sure what they were going to do in such a case. It would be difficult to convince the knight to leave his post long enough to sneak her out. Nevertheless, his mind worked quickly as he tried to think of a good excuse, unwilling to give up without giving his best effort first.

Fortunately, it seemed like they wouldn’t need a plan at all as Penelope announced that she’d gotten lucky that morning. Crow felt his shoulders fall a little with relief. The last thing he wanted was to cause more trouble for her than he already had. If she’d been caught, not only would their relationship be found out, but she would also probably get in trouble for leaving her station in the hall. She didn’t deserve that.

“Thank the gods,” he sighed, casting her a weary smile. “Bye, love.”

A brief silence followed when the knight left the room, which was eventually interrupted by Preston.

“So,” the attendant crossed his arms as he eyed the viceroy across the bedchamber. “You said you were going to tell me what’s going on. If I’m going to help you tomorrow, I need to know.”

“Fine,” Crow exhaled resignedly, too drained to continue fighting with the servant over the matter. He stepped away from the door to recline against the footboard of his bed, hesitating for a moment before he worked up the nerve to explain the situation. “Have you ever heard of a place called Tamsworth?”

“I think so,” Preston tipped his head slightly in thought. “It’s that cursed village to the east of Myrefall, right? The one where the people were all massacred by knights.”

“That’s it,” Crow nodded and then averted his gaze, shifting his weight uncomfortably. “Well… I was at that slaughter fifteen years ago.”

“Really?” Preston’s eyes widened.

The viceroy nodded again, “It’s where I got this.” He gestured to the jagged stripe of discoloration on his right side, where the tax collector’s sword had cut through his flesh as a child. “I was lucky to have survived that day,” he went on quietly, grimacing at the unpleasant memory. “But when I recovered… I started having nightmares of the attack.”

“Wait, you’ve been having these for fifteen years?” Preston’s brows raised in surprise.

“No” Crow shook his head. “They nightmares away for a long time after they initially appeared. It’s only been a few days since they started recurring again.”

“Oh,” the boy said contemplatively. “Why did they come back?”

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I’ve been through a similar situation recently,” Crow lifted his shoulders in a shrug and tapped his torso, where the more recent scar from Jaxon marked his skin. “Whatever the reason may be, that’s why I’ve been waking up in a panic… Visions of the past keep coming back to haunt me.”

Preston fell quiet for a moment. “That’s awful,” he murmured. “I can’t even imagine—”

“Don’t,” Crow sighed. “I didn’t tell you to earn your pity. It was just to get you to stop pestering me, so please don’t try to coddle me, alright?”

The attendant pursed his lips, “Alright.”

“Thank you,” the viceroy stepped over to the boy. “Now that that’s settled, I’m going to get dressed so we can get something to eat.”

Preston dipped his head and handed over the clothes he was carrying for him. Once Crow was finished getting ready for the day, they headed down the corridor that led to the dining chamber. The two walked in silence for the most part, neither one in a talking mood after the stressful events of the morning. When they reached the Great Hall, Crow took a moment to look around. His gaze landed on Penelope, and he smiled to himself, happy to see that he hadn’t missed her.

Splitting up from his attendant, the viceroy made his way through the thin crowd of nobles to sit down across from her at the table. However, his eagerness faded slightly when he noticed that she looked just as tired as she had been earlier that day. He was beginning to think he should ask her if she was alright.

“Are you feeling okay?” Crow ventured curiously. “You look like you could pass out any moment now.”

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope let out a yawn as she waited from her food. It was a long one and once she opened her eyes again, she spotted Crow entering the Great Hall. A small smile crossed her lips, still glad to get a bit more time with him despite her eagerness to get her food and go to bed. As he neared, her plate of food arrived and she muttered a quick word of thanks to the servant before focusing her gaze back onto Crow as he moved to sit down across from her. She was about to greet him when he asked her about how she was feeling.

The knight blinked, a bit caught off guard by the question, and then gave him a tired smile. "I'm alright." she assured him then paused before giving a sheepish shrug. "Although I suppose you're not far off from that guess. I'm tired." Penelope admitted, resting her head against the palm of her hand while using her free hand to poke at her food. "Between my guard shifts and party planning, I haven't been able to get much rest.. I think I only slept a couple hours after my shift yesterday."

Reflecting on her previous day, she began to realize just how busy she was getting. She had even requested more night shifts from Tybalt just so she would have her days free to work with Oliver and Dimia on the party. Suddenly realizing she'd likely be low on sleep for a while, Penelope let out a weary sigh, feeling even more tired just by the thought of it. I'll be able to relax once we have enough support to stop the war... she thought determinedly. Suddenly her gaze focused back on Crow and she realized that she had spaced off for a brief moment, caught up in her drowsiness and thoughts.

Not wanting to worry him, she offered a small smile. "I'll be fine. I can probably squeeze in a couple hours of sleep before-" he words cut off as a small yawn escaped her. "-before my midday shift today."

[Rogue Sloth]

Crow held Penelope’s gaze with a contemplative frown when she admitted she hadn’t been getting much rest lately. He should have noticed it sooner, but with his recurring nightmares, he’d been too focused on himself to realize that she wasn’t faring much better than he was. Silently chiding himself, he made a mental note to pay closer attention in the future. He didn’t want to turn into the type of man who would put her problems on ignore just because he was having a hard time with his own issues.

As she tried to assure him that she would be fine, he studied her for a moment longer before nodding. “Well, I won’t keep you long then,” he said, casting her a warm smile. “I don’t want to stop you from getting enough sleep before your shift.” Though it wasn’t much, he wanted to do what he could to help her. After all, he knew better than anyone how torturous it could be to go too long without getting rest. If spending a little less time together that morning meant she wouldn’t have to endure as much fatigue, then it was worth it to him.

He turned away from her at the sound of approaching footsteps to see that Preston had returned with his breakfast. Eager to fill his empty stomach, he drummed his fingers against his leg beneath the table while the attendant performed his usual taste test to make sure it was safe. As soon as the boy was done, he picked up a utensil to start eating. However, he didn’t get a chance before a new voice spoke up from behind him.

“Oi, Lockton.”

Crow blinked and turned around in his seat, surprised to see a noblewoman he didn’t know walking up to their table. She was tall and rather pretty with long brown hair and clear blue eyes. Must be another one looking to court, he groaned inwardly. Despite his conclusion, something about her demeanor seemed strange to him. She wasn’t acting like the other meek girls he’d been introduced to so far. There was a swagger to her step that made her appear confident and an edge to her voice that nearly sounded mischievous.

Curiosity piqued, the viceroy met her gaze evenly, “That’s me. Do you need something?”

To his confusion, the woman laughed. “Wow,” she propped her hand on her hip. “You don’t even remember me, do you?”

“Should I?” Crow knitted his brow, looking her over a little more closely. Thinking about it more, there was something familiar about her. He just couldn’t put his finger on what it was.

“I’ll give you a hint,” the woman smirked. “Seven years ago in Colchester. The last thing I saw of you was your bare ass climbing out my window.”

Crow’s eyes widened and a blush colored his cheeks as he finally recalled who she was. “Liz?” he glanced furtively at Penelope, wishing the noblewoman would have picked a different moment to approach him. They didn’t have the most savory history together, and he wasn’t sure how open she would be in front of the knight.

“So you do remember,” Elizabeth grinned at him. “Thank gods. At least now I know for sure that you haven’t turned into a selfish pig.” She gestured at the empty space on the bench beside him. “May I?”

Crow shifted his weight slightly but, unable to think of a good excuse to get rid of her, casted Penelope a brief apologetic look and turned back to the woman with a forced smile, “Go ahead.”

“Great,” Liz brightened as she slid in next to him, a little too close for comfort. “You know, I never thought I was going to see you again, Crow—or, it’s Collin now, right?” she spoke eagerly, resting his chin in the palm of her hand as she held his gaze with a sultry smile. “Suddenly I find out you’ve gone from rogue to near royalty! It sounded too good to be true. That’s why I just had to come to the castle to see you for myself.”

“You came all the way here just to see me?” Crow raised a brow.

“Of course,” Liz turned slightly red and averted her gaze. “I’ve never forgotten that night seven years ago… To tell you the truth, I was always hoping we’d cross paths again someday.” Her cheerful demeanor returned as she looked up to meet his gaze again. “And now, here you are.” Her blue eyes swept over him. “And, might I add, you’ve grown up to be quite handsome.”

Crow shifted again, “Um, thanks.”

Elizabeth giggled, “Oh, don’t be so tense Collin. It’s just me.” Suddenly, she seemed to take notice of Penelope’s presence at the table. The noblewoman turned to her with a sheepish look, “I’m sorry. How rude of me.” Extending a hand, she casted the knight a friendly grin. “Elizabeth Payne. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

[BuzzingBee]

Penelope hesitated at Crow's words before returning his smile and giving a small, appreciative nod. Though she didn't really want to shorten their time together, the knight knew it was probably for the best considering how tired she was. Besides her own wants, she was also just a bit too tired to argue. Focusing back to her food, she took a bite but her attention was quickly drawn away from it as she heard someone address Crow. It wasn't a voice that was familiar to her, so curious she looked up to see who was approaching.

As her gaze landed on the woman and Crow addressed her, Penelope gave a small look of confusion. She had thought it might have been someone Crow knew based on how she had called to him. There seemed to be some sort of familiarity along with a hint of mischief. She was just beginning to think her assumption had been wrong when the woman went on to prod him about remembering her. The knight raised an eyebrow but didn't think much of it and instead moved to take another bite of her food. However, the food didn't make it to her mouth when she froze at the woman's next words.

So it seemed they did know each other after all... just a bit more intimately than the knight had previously guessed. As Crow shot her an apologetic look,she shrugged her shoulders in response. While it had caught her off guard, it wasn't too alarming to the knight. However, this Liz's presence did leave her feeling a bit tense, especially as the noblewoman slid in closely besides him. Too tired to mask her expression, Penelope narrowed her eyes at the woman before looking back to her food as she took another bite. Perhaps it was just due to her own tiredness, but she had a difficult time believing the woman had genuinely hoped to cross paths with Crow again. She was likely just attracted by the word of his new title.

Not that any of that matters though. she thought, relaxing a bit. As the woman finally 'seemed' to take notice of her— Penelope had a feeling that she had just been choosing to ignore her until now— she looked over at Elizabeth and forced a friendly smile in return. "Nice to meet you as well." she said as she shook the woman's hand. "I'm Penelope Vermillion."

"Ah! A Vermillion. You must be related to that baron Edward Vermillion, right? Is he your father?" Elizabeth asked.

"I am. He's actually my uncle though." Penelope responded with a shrug.

"I see. Well, I've heard quite a few things about his efforts on the warfront. You must be proud." Elizabeth smiled and nodded. The noblewoman paused, casting a quick glance at Crow before looking back to Penelope. "So how do you two know each other?" she asked cheerfully.

Penelope eyed Elizabeth for a moment. "Well, about two years ago I was hauling his ass across the border to Younis." she responded with a tired smirk then shrugged her shoulders. "Today though we just happen to have the mutual friend of Naida." Normally she would have just left out the part about their trip, however, this woman was already beginning to rub her the wrong way. If she could have, she would have liked to just state her real involvement with Crow, but since she couldn't, the second best was making sure Elizabeth knew they had some type of history, even if she just thought it was friendly.