Crow ate in contemplative silence as Penelope explained why she humored the other nobles. He supposed it made sense that she would do something like that, especially when considering her situation. He wondered if he would have made the same decision if he had been in her shoes. It was something he never used to think about often, but he found himself more and more curious about it as he got to know Penelope. If Albin hadn’t disowned him, would he also be running around try to please pompous noblemen in order to earn their respect?
Setting his now empty plates aside, he glanced back at Penelope, starting to understand her predicament a little better. However, when his eyes fell on her, he noticed a look of dejection on her face. He averted his gaze again, feeling a stab of guilt. She was risking everything she had worked for to be with him. If anyone found out about their relationship, she would lose the respect of the other nobles, and probably her father too. Any hope she ever had of moving up in the kingdom would be permanently dashed.
Meanwhile, he was giving up nothing for her. There was no risk in a thief falling in love with a knight, aside from the possibility that one of his enemies could find out and use it to their advantage. But even then, he had escaped from traps before, and he could do it again. It wasn’t much more dangerous than anything he had faced in the past. It wasn’t even close to the chance she was taking. Could he really ask her to do that for him in good conscience?
Maybe it was foolish of us to try to make this work after all, Crow grimaced as he finally began to admit the truth to himself. She still has a chance to make a respectable name for herself. If I ask her to stay with me, she’ll be nothing more than an outcast like I am. I can’t ask that of her—not while she still has the opportunity to have something better.
“You can still repay your father,” he said, breaking the silence that had fallen between them without meeting her gaze. “Right now, no one in Brerra knows about us… We can still keep it that way.” He hesitated, finding that the words were more difficult than he expected them to be. “I mean… I’m going back to the outer villages anyway, and you have your job in the castle. It wouldn’t be hard to keep all of this a secret if we…” he trailed off, unable to bring himself to say ‘if we stop seeing each other.’
He let out his breath in a ragged exhale, “Look, I just want to make sure you don’t regret… us. I know you had a plan for your life, and a good one too. If you think you’re going to regret giving all that up to be with me—your job, your family, your future—then this is your out.” He forced himself to meet her gaze. “I can’t promise that you’ll have a good life if you stay with me. In fact, I can honestly say that you probably won’t. So, if you have any reservations about being with a thief… you can still back out.”
Setting his now empty plates aside, he glanced back at Penelope, starting to understand her predicament a little better. However, when his eyes fell on her, he noticed a look of dejection on her face. He averted his gaze again, feeling a stab of guilt. She was risking everything she had worked for to be with him. If anyone found out about their relationship, she would lose the respect of the other nobles, and probably her father too. Any hope she ever had of moving up in the kingdom would be permanently dashed.
Meanwhile, he was giving up nothing for her. There was no risk in a thief falling in love with a knight, aside from the possibility that one of his enemies could find out and use it to their advantage. But even then, he had escaped from traps before, and he could do it again. It wasn’t much more dangerous than anything he had faced in the past. It wasn’t even close to the chance she was taking. Could he really ask her to do that for him in good conscience?
Maybe it was foolish of us to try to make this work after all, Crow grimaced as he finally began to admit the truth to himself. She still has a chance to make a respectable name for herself. If I ask her to stay with me, she’ll be nothing more than an outcast like I am. I can’t ask that of her—not while she still has the opportunity to have something better.
“You can still repay your father,” he said, breaking the silence that had fallen between them without meeting her gaze. “Right now, no one in Brerra knows about us… We can still keep it that way.” He hesitated, finding that the words were more difficult than he expected them to be. “I mean… I’m going back to the outer villages anyway, and you have your job in the castle. It wouldn’t be hard to keep all of this a secret if we…” he trailed off, unable to bring himself to say ‘if we stop seeing each other.’
He let out his breath in a ragged exhale, “Look, I just want to make sure you don’t regret… us. I know you had a plan for your life, and a good one too. If you think you’re going to regret giving all that up to be with me—your job, your family, your future—then this is your out.” He forced himself to meet her gaze. “I can’t promise that you’ll have a good life if you stay with me. In fact, I can honestly say that you probably won’t. So, if you have any reservations about being with a thief… you can still back out.”