[IC] Ultimate Baseball of Doom: First Final Tournament of the Ages

[ImportantNobody]

As the crowd roared in anticipation, Zuubassballe, the great demon lord with rippling muscles, purple skin, and nice, erect horns, was in the center of the baseball field. He was sniffing the finely trimmed grass with great vigor as he squatted around in observation of their handy-work. Ah yes! This was perfect! His vision had finally become a reality in only a single evening! Hopefully he'd be able to go back home in time to avoid disaster by way of the oven that he had accidentally left on. However, he had a duty to see this baseball game through due to not only inventing it just now but also because it was to settle a very dramatic feud between his fellow demons and the angels. He was also eager to see how it would play out, not doing this simply as work, and this factor was even more important to him. It actually seemed like such a good pastime that maybe it would be called...like...the national pastime? No, that would be silly, but it should certainly be interesting due to all the chaos that could potentially unfold on this beautiful field today.

"Alright! Are...you...READY!!!" He roared as he jerked into a standing position, causing the crowd to up their applause even more until it was almost defining. In fact a sonic boom shot out that nearly blew him over if not for his highly athletic body keeping him on his feet. He brushed his silky black hair back into place with a flick of his demon tail. "Everyone, take your positions! The first pitch belongs to me!"

His tail wrapped around the baseball that had been laying on the ground next to him and he took a stance where his right leg raised high up into the air in the splits while his left leg and hands were planted onto the ground. He then breakdanced for a couple of seconds before his tail let loose the ball straight at the center of mass of the batter at such high speeds that it was only a blur and fire formed around it. He wanted the first pitch to be remembered so was not going to hold back no matter who the batter was. They'd have to be really talented to move out of the way and hit the ball back without exploding. Either way it would be a remarkable show.

[TheUnknowable]

Thor walked up to the plate. Now, if I remember the rules properly, I just need to hit the ball, then move around the bases. Sounds easy enough. When the monster threw the ball, Thor yelled, "From whence it came!" and swung his mighty Hammer. An impact strong enough to knock Iron Man down hit the ball and it flew away from the Norse god. Thor spun his hammer on it's strap and threw it forward, hurtling him towards the first base.

[Lalliman]

One of the creatures that was among the demons on the field was Great Cthulhu, high priest of the Great Old Ones and lord of R’lyeh. He sat slumped over in the grass, looking like a 50-foot-tall green mollusc as his face tentacles swayed back and forth with his snoring. Grrrrrr ffffffuu, grrrrrrr fffffuu
“Sir, sir wake up, the game is starting.” Said a comparatively tiny fishman as he prodded Cthulhu’s leg.
The Great Old One snorted loudly as he woke up. With his dozen eyes he looked around to see the ball already being pitched. “Ah, thanks Fthagthlixu,” he bellowed as he quickly rose to his feet, rising to an even more enormous height. The stars weren’t quite right today, which always made him feel so sleepy. After all, at the ripe old age of 4.2 billion, he no longer had the sort of energy he used to. But that wouldn’t stop him from participating. He had his honour to defend, and besides he wanted to get some payback on the angelic bastards who created the Elder Sign and locked him up for a few thousand years.

When the ball was launched, he considered trying to catch it, but catching something so tiny with his giant hands would be a pain. Besides, some other demons were scurrying after it already. Instead, he stretched out his arms and made a gesture as if grabbing and opening a pair of curtains. Reality tore apart at his touch, opening a portal to the Realm of Madness, which he was forcibly sucked into as if by a vacuum before it closed again. Immediately, the same portal reopened a hundred yards above the ground and right above the path from home base to first base. Like a meteor, Cthulhu was ejected out and came hurtling downwards, looking to slam right on top of Thor and drive him into the ground before he could reach first base.

[Surrag]

Frami Akitoshi Zeppeli, cybernetically enhanced member of the first regiment of the Axis garrison of super soldiers sat cross armed on the benches that that shielded him from the sun that beat over this momentous occasion. The sun's intensity paled in comparison to the sounds of the crowd that would normally only be referred to as ground shaking through hyperbole, as he's quickly learned after the failure to arrive at proper time in which his presence was truly required hyperbole was quite common here, was literally testing the integrity of the shaven grass earth as he could feel the vibrations climb up from the soles of his feet.

Analytical hazel eyes darted across those on the field with a sway of the head to make it seem to the those whose eyes might fall on him my happenstance that he was wiping sweat from him brow, or hailing Hitler as him showing up with the decorated garbs of an SS Captain might make them believe. He was now in the uniform of his respective team, he would count himself lucky they had the size required to fit his bulky self as he commanded the muscle necessary to house some the weapons he possessed which could make a hydrogen bomb look like a firecracker, fortunately he was made to be the size of an actual human; standing at 6'3", though compared to some of the participants might not be much.

The problem of size became quite apparent as he saw the humongous object hurtling towards his teammate Thor. He was not completely aware of the rules, all he was aware of is that as long as that ball was moving it was fair game and that was all he needed, and hopefully an excuse the empire would accept. He sprung from his seat and slammed his right foot into the small elevation that separated the box and the rest of the stadium while his left foot acted as the root for what he intended to do. A spike from both his heels rooted themselves into the cement floor under him as his right arm was raised with the intention of lining up with the Lovecraftian Meteorite. Plates of pseudo flesh and metal bended to reveal a cylinder sliding into place crackling with azure energy. The resulting multiple times sound surpassing blast cut through the air aimed at the, hopefully not to angry after this, High Priest as well as launched Frami back into the benches as the cement floors could not handle the kick.

[TheUnknowable]

Thor stopped in place and caught the mass falling on him. The force of impact drove him waste deep into the ground, but he was uninjured. "Please." said Thor. "I have thrown Frost Giants and arm wrestled the Hulk. I cannot be defeated this easily." He pushed Mjolnir against the Eldrich abomination's backside and discharged a massive bolt of lightning into it. "Let's see how you like the smell of your own burnt flesh, foul creature."

[ImportantNobody]

Zubassballe grinned madly at the sight of Thor hitting the ball. Not mad as in angry, but mad as in crazy, because why grin if you're angry? But that's besides the point. What is the point is that this was indeed very interesting. He already found a player skilled enough with baseball to match his super tail toss attack! He let out a hearty laugh as he just stood there watching the events that were now unfolding, not bothering to interfere or else the play would end right then and there due to his tail easily able to grab the ball as it flew overhead and then smack Thor right in the face with it while he was distracted by the big tentacle-y fellow. Instead it flew past him, hopefully into the waiting hands of one of his demons or recruits, but he didn't bother checking on that.

His attention turned to the bleachers as an all too eager fan clearly wanted to become more than just an average fan and join the game as well. Zubassballe was going to mention that it was against the rules to just burst out like that, but then he remembered it actually wasn't against the rules, he just forgot to include that specific detail into the rulebook. He simply said that each team could only have 9 players out on the field at a time, not mentioning that fans can't also do their own thing. Oh well. He didn't mind that more fresh meat would be charging into the fray to add to the chaos so wouldn't throw a hissy fit, and maybe this guy would become an official player anyways.

"New rule," his voice boomed. "You can only enter the game from the bleachers if you're interesting. Otherwise, leave things to us master professionals." He flexed his muscles, did a few poses, and then ran out of things to do so just watched some more.

[Lalliman]

“BABABABUASDFBLUBALUBUBASSIEENADRIAANRULULULU” Cthulhu gibbered as Azathoth-knows-how-many volts ran through his body. On top of that, some powerful energy projectile flew in and hit him from off-field. The combination of the two effects caused an enormous eruption of energy and his entire body violently exploded into a rain of green flesh, littering the surrounding field.

Tumbling down among the chunks of flesh was one object that wasn’t like the others. It was in fact Great Cthulhu, reduced by the damage to a merely two-foot tall version of himself. He landed on his butt in the grass, with a look of displeasure on his face. “Hm, not again,” he said in a voice a lot more high-pitched than before.

But Thor wasn’t rid of him quite yet. “Cthulhi, rise!” he yelled, and immediately the many chunks of flesh that were littered about the field briefly became amorphous before taking the shape of more tiny Cthulhi. “Pass me the ball!” they all yelled simultaneously as they crawled to their feet, sounding like a horde of children talking in perfect unison.

The other demons had meanwhile gotten their hands on the ball, and they passed it to him, er, them, er him, as told. Once the ball disappeared into the horde of Little Old Ones, they started stampeding towards Thor en masse, while passing the ball to one another until one of the frontmost Cthulhi held it. Like a green wave, they both charged directly towards Thor in an attempt to tag him with the ball, but also moved to surround the next base like a wall.

[Bartimaeus]

Smokey was currently sitting on the bench next to some, creepy, 200 year old-looking robot thingy. Smokey was pretty aware of the rules of baseball, quite frankly because he was from earth. But these new rules seem to suit him better, the destruction and chaos was so much more satisfying than preventing it. Why was he on the angels side again...? No matter, his friend thor was in trouble, he was being swarmed by a pool of Cthulu spawn. Smokey pulled out one of his vintage, black dust, mesquire, 1970 cigars, and cut it with his claw and then preceeded to ignite it with his fire breath. He then took in a few puffs and chunked the cigar as far as he could in the direction of first base, landing it directly in the middle of the group of Cthulu. Hopefully that would by thor some time to get to first base. (Incase you dont get it its a bomb)