arockysmith

Your Current Mood in One GIF

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

"The nightmares...I see them even when I'm awake. I'm on the ground and I can't reach you or you can't reach me. Every time you go from my side or when I feel the pain it's like you're too far away. I can't stop him from hurting you. I'm being needy. I've had you at my side for so long now that you leave the room and I feel like you'll never come back or I'll never see you again. It's like I'll wake up in that hospital bed again but you won't be waiting for me. I know it's stupid and I know you would never go, but my mind can't help but trail into the dark thoughts of you figuring out that this isn't worth losing your family over. I'm not worth it, this life of terror isn't worth it. Why would you choose to live in fear if you don't have to. I don't think my brain will ever understand that, but that just means you need to stay by my side for as long as you can. I want to be able to follow you out of the bedroom and clean up messes left behind," Ezra said feeling a little defeated.

He wanted nothing more than to be able to walk from the bed to the door by himself without feeling sore, but the doctor had followed up with him and it would be a long while before he was moving long distances by himself. When he did start walking he would need the crutches and he wouldn't be able to hold her the ways that he used to.

"Will you still love me if I force you in my line of sight for the rest of our lives. I don't ever want to not be able to see your face," he whispered lifting his hand and grazing his fingers along her cheek. It was nice to touch her freely without his parents around to keep watch of them. He pushed himself towards her and gave her a kiss on the lips parting her mouth his tongue and then pulling away slowly so that he didn't wince. "I'm not making sense tonight, I'm sorry. I don't know how to think right now. I'm torn between asking you to go back make amends with your parents and asking you to rest your head on my chest and kiss it like you did minutes ago. I don't know what's right and what's wrong these days and you leave me confused and torn in two, but I'm never sure if that's good or bad. Are we good or bad. Is God looking down at us ashamed or proud. If he didn't want me to die then why would he try and take my life so many times? Did he see me falling in love with you and think death was the only punishment suitable for me?"

He'd questioned his God multiple times since being with Marta, and since Hitler began to gain control. Was this their punishment. Was he really more inferior than Marta or Oscar? Should he be more like Oscar in order to live a life where he didn't have to fear. If he was being honest he wished at times he could give up his practice, give up being Jewish and move away from this life, but it was too late. He was in too deep and Marta would never just pack up and start a brand new with him. His parents would never let him leave with her. It was either he goes alone or he stays here.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

Ezra settled back into the pillows that she had propped up for him and gave a slight nod. Shakespeare was the only thing keeping him from thinking him and Marta had completely lost their minds about being together. They were at that age where love conquered all and most of the romances he'd read from Shakespeare the couples died, so if that was the worst thing to happen he wouldn't be scared. At least they'd both be together in the end.

"Do the Romeo and Juliet one tonight. I want it fuel my desire to live in this world we've built where somehow we end up together," He said quietly as he closed his eyes a moment.

His body was feeling weak now and the movements he'd made that night were finally starting to settling into his body. His chest felt slightly tender and he let out a small whimper that sounded like an injured puppy. He looked up to see Marta staring at him with concern so he covered his pain with a smile, "I just wanted to get your attention. I hate when you stray so far away. Sometimes when you're here I still go back to that day and each time you get farther away from my grasp," he said scooting over so she could fit next to his.

He'd intentionally ignored her I love you for the sole purpose of not knowing if she would really stick it out with him or if they'd get separated along the way. He didn't want to use the words in case he had to go back on them to make her leave for her own protection. He'd already thought of what to say for the day his family was moved to a smaller house my force. She would never be able to join them since she wasn't really Jewish. She was still a Christian girl as far as Hitler, God, and Ezra was concerned. He'd make it dying wish for her to live her life without him if that day ever came.

Abandoned Souls (Full for now)

I just searched it, but only some states use the mandatory tip for large parties such as New York but even then the customer can speak with a manager and not pay the amount added. People can be jerks though with tipping. Especially if the place is super busy and service is a little slow. Its terrible. When it's busy I usually tip a little extra because you can tell how backed up things are, it's not the servers fault.

Abandoned Souls (Full for now)

Wait can't you do a mandatory 15% or 20% tip for parties larger than 6? I thought that was like a rule

Official RPG Crush Thread

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

Ezra nodded. He knew from the start that his Rabbi would be against it. He felt just as Ezra did and the two of them talked frequently about his situation with Marta. He couldn't help but feel partly responsible for the choice his Rabbi made in deciding not to convert her. He'd begged him shortly after he left the hospital to refuse Marta, to save her life and to keep her from being foolish because he couldn't do it himself. Lincoln had understood, and had tried to talk it out calmly with Ezra, but he hadn't been in the mood for more discussion. It seemed like he had agreed.

"Rabbi Lincoln is looking for your best interest and converting now, so hastily while the world around our community is crumbling wouldn't have been good. I had a hand in his choice and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I was ashamed at my words when I woke up the next morning. It was just after I came home from the hospital. I was on all those medications for the pain, I was practically delirious. I had meant to speak with him again, but I was too scared," Ezra admitted while closing his eyes. "I will marry you Marta, even if it's against my people. I will lay with you in the way husband and wife do and I will love you for eternity. My father has already given his blessing for the second part. He thinks it would be less against my religion to just have sex with you than it is to marry out of it. I choose you over my people and I will continue to choose you until the end of my days."

He began to fumble with the pendant on his necklace, his chest was tight and he believed his words more than anything else. He knew what he was saying was wrong, but he couldn't stop himself. He couldn't help but feel Satan was testing him at the hand of God. He couldn't help but feel like he was failing the trial being given. Perhaps, a small perhaps, he was passing though. God could have demanded Satan to test Ezra's ability to love unconditionally. To choose love over a life of disdain and hate. If he had Marta the hate he held for Oscar would diminish underneath the weight of his happiness.

(Just so you're aware this the views of Satan x God for Jewish people: Jews do believe in Satan, but it's the Satan, like a job title and it means hinderer. So in Judaism the Satan works for God, his job is to hinder and to test so that only the worthy pass. So yes they believe in angels, what they don't believe is that any of the angels could actually rebel against God)

Abandoned Souls (Full for now)

I tried being a waitress for like a week and it failed horribly. It was for a family owned business and the guy was originally a CEO for a tech company so he had no idea how to run a restaurant. I would work from 9AM - 12 AM with zero breaks because he couldn't schedule for shit. But in that week I really started feeling for people in that industry so now I usually tip like 40% and if I have the money I'll tip more.

Why Can't This Be? [arockysmith + tlstiffl]

When Marta left him alone to grab her things he wasn't sure what to tell her or how to talk to her. She seemed slightly off and distant, like her mind was elsewhere and her body was moving on auto pilot. He wasn't sure if his mother had said anything or maybe his father had scared her by leaving them alone. Maybe she'd never been alone with a boy before, where as Ezra had spent many nights alone in a home with Atalia so there was nothing odd about it. His parents trusted Marta to care for him or else they wouldn't have gone. He prayed for their safe return since they neglected to tell him where they were headed and what areas they would have to go through. There was no doubt in his mind that they would be crossing Anti-Jewish towns, and his parents were too old to protect themselves. He hoped they weren't traveling alone.

When Marta finally returned Ezra gave her the biggest smile he could manage, but it went unnoticed as she kept her gaze away from him. He leaned forward a bit and grabbed her arm to force her body to face him. He was irritated that she would ignore him when something was clearly bothering her. He'd never been one to share his own feelings, but Marta was different. When she was happy she exploded at the seams, so whenever she became quiet he knew instantly something had happened and she wouldn't speak unless he forced it out of her.

"You're like a child, Marta. Keeping everything bottled up because you're scared your parents will scold you for expressing emotions. Why are you pulling away from me? Did I do something wrong? If this is too much responsibility I can get a neighbor to check in on me. I was hoping to use this time to see how compatible we are. You know, how things will be when we marry. I know I haven't asked for your hand yet, but it will be fun to pretend for a bit, won't it?" He asked wiping the tears from her cheeks with his thumb. He pulled her closer so that she was nearly on his lap. "Marta, my love. Let me kiss away your pain and worries," he said softly.

He brought his lips to hers and gently kissed her, then he moved to her cheeks and forehead. He planted one on her nose and began to trail her jaw line while he hands held her back. He could feel her body shaking and he knew it wasn't from him, but from the crying she was trying to suppress. He hated that she saw him as fragile and unable to handle the stress she was feeling because of his injuries, so he just continued to kiss her in various areas of her face and holding her close to his body, but not close enough to touch.

"Let me inside Marta. If you love me the way you do then you will not let me suffer with the idea that I cannot help you. Let me help you. I will do whatever it takes to bring your smile back, it's been gone too long and I miss it dearly," Ezra whispered pressing his forehead against hers.

*POSITIVE* LGBT++ hangout, anybody? *CIS/STRAIGHT WELCOME TOO* :D

@touchofjade oooh, I love neko's they're adorable