arockysmith
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An Awkward Mermaid
STATUS: trying to get through work on no sleep or coffee was a terrible mistake. 6 yrs ago
- Last Seen: 5 yrs ago
- Joined: 8 yrs ago
- Posts: 480 (0.16 / day)
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- arockysmith 8 yrs ago
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6 yrs ago
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trying to get through work on no sleep or coffee was a terrible mistake.
8 yrs ago
I gotta be honest, after the bs of real life it's good to be back on this site.
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8 yrs ago
i've got a busy morning, but when I get home I'll respond to the message.
8 yrs ago
I apologize for dropping off the face of the earth for a few months. A lot of personal issues came up. Trying to get back into the swing of things.
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8 yrs ago
To my RP partners: I had a cognitive evaluation today and it kicked my ass. I'll get my replies out tomorrow. Today I just need sleep.
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arockysmith
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*POSITIVE* LGBT++ hangout, anybody? *CIS/STRAIGHT WELCOME TOO* :D
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8 yrs ago
Forum: Off-Topic Discussion
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*POSITIVE* LGBT++ hangout, anybody? *CIS/STRAIGHT WELCOME TOO* :D
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8 yrs ago
Forum: Off-Topic Discussion
Ezra sat down in the bucket with his father's help, his eyes holding the confusion he was trying to hide. He felt like his ears were off today, or maybe he was still reeling from the concussion side effects. Nothing was making sense and the pain he felt from all the movement moments ago was finally settling into his body. He thought about his fathers words a moment while the man poured water down his back and then began to bathe him. He opened his mouth to speak a couple times, but his father had hushed him. Clearly he knew that Ezra still hadn't figured out a way to answer.
"Father, I already told Atalia today that I could not marry her. We had a parting kiss and it was agreed we would continue to be friends," Ezra said a little sheepishly.
His father nodded, "How does Marta feel about you and your ex fiancee being friends?"
Ezra attempted a small shrug before he answered, "She says she's fine with it. That it's something that doesn't bother her. She knows how close Atalia and I are. For the longest time Ata was my only friend. We did everything together. If you had asked me last month about her I'd have sworn up and down that she'd be my first kiss, my first love...my first everything. I had never looked at another girl, pa. Until Marta showed up and I don't know what happened, but it was like they describe it in books. Love at first sight, although I'm sure she hated me and I her when we first met. I thought she would harm me and she thought I was a jerk."
Abe nodded along and dumped another bucket of water on his son. "While we don't agree with what you two are doing, life these days is too short, and you are too reckless. You would probably marry her now if you were old enough. We will allow you two to be a couple, but it must stop there Ezra. Hitler is gaining power, and there is more talk of banishing our people from their homes. She will be unable to go since she is not Jewish," he said quietly, "You may spend nights alone with her and do the things of man and wife if you wish to. Just do not speak of it to anybody. Your mother and I will be leaving on a trip. The bakery will be closed the time we are gone. Your mother seems to be getting ill and we need to see a specialist. We have saved enough money to feed you both while we are away. You may use the items in the bakery, but the money is there if you would like a special treat.
Ezra nodded, but said nothing more as his father helped him out of the bucket and into dry clothes. The two of them walked slowly out to the girls and Abe set Ezra down at the kitchen table. He nodded at Marta giving her a smile, "You can make sure he doesn't fall out of the chair and then I'll let you take him back to bed. Edith and I will be leaving after supper for a bit," he said gesturing towards the beaten up luggage by the door.
"Father, I already told Atalia today that I could not marry her. We had a parting kiss and it was agreed we would continue to be friends," Ezra said a little sheepishly.
His father nodded, "How does Marta feel about you and your ex fiancee being friends?"
Ezra attempted a small shrug before he answered, "She says she's fine with it. That it's something that doesn't bother her. She knows how close Atalia and I are. For the longest time Ata was my only friend. We did everything together. If you had asked me last month about her I'd have sworn up and down that she'd be my first kiss, my first love...my first everything. I had never looked at another girl, pa. Until Marta showed up and I don't know what happened, but it was like they describe it in books. Love at first sight, although I'm sure she hated me and I her when we first met. I thought she would harm me and she thought I was a jerk."
Abe nodded along and dumped another bucket of water on his son. "While we don't agree with what you two are doing, life these days is too short, and you are too reckless. You would probably marry her now if you were old enough. We will allow you two to be a couple, but it must stop there Ezra. Hitler is gaining power, and there is more talk of banishing our people from their homes. She will be unable to go since she is not Jewish," he said quietly, "You may spend nights alone with her and do the things of man and wife if you wish to. Just do not speak of it to anybody. Your mother and I will be leaving on a trip. The bakery will be closed the time we are gone. Your mother seems to be getting ill and we need to see a specialist. We have saved enough money to feed you both while we are away. You may use the items in the bakery, but the money is there if you would like a special treat.
Ezra nodded, but said nothing more as his father helped him out of the bucket and into dry clothes. The two of them walked slowly out to the girls and Abe set Ezra down at the kitchen table. He nodded at Marta giving her a smile, "You can make sure he doesn't fall out of the chair and then I'll let you take him back to bed. Edith and I will be leaving after supper for a bit," he said gesturing towards the beaten up luggage by the door.
"You're kidding me right? Marta, I know sometimes you have odd request but this one is beyond ridiculous. If it's between my life or yours I won't hesitate to fall on the knife or take a bullet. I wouldn't enjoy it, but I refuse to just stand by idly while you die. What kind of question is that? Was getting me this necklace back a way to push your idea on me?" Ezra asked getting more angry by the second. He pushed her away from him and sat up letting his legs hang over the bed his back facing her. He was clenching the bed sheet so tight his knuckles began to grow white and his muscles tensed up.
He couldn't believe what she had just asked of him. She had to be insane to think he'd watch her die before his eyes. That he would save himself over her. Had everything that happened thus far just went right over her head? He wasn't sure if she was starting to lose her mind or if she was having regrets, but the necklace around his neck began to weigh on him with guilt of a choice he refused to make. He would do anything to make her happy, but to sacrifice her for himself was not something he would give her.
"You're mad. You've let your fears cloud your whole head. I don't care if I have a family or a community that needs me. If that moment arises I will give up my life for yours. I have nearly died becau...for you already and you're going to ask me a question like that. You might as well go back home if you think I'm going to agree to that idea of yours. Haven't you realized why my parents have tense around you? They know I don't value my life. They know if you and I are ever out in public and someone were to attack I would take the beatings no questions asked so that you could run. I told you to run when Oscar was trying to kill me and you stupidly stood there and got yourself hurt also. You are the one who should be making a promise like that to me. If we have kids you are the one they would need, the one they would want. I can't go home and tell them their mother died because I made a promise years ago. I would never live with myself," Ezra was yelling by this time and he had stood up and attempted to pace the room multiple times only to be forced to lean against the wall for support. He hadn't looked at her since he started the tangent and he still refused to. His words were harsh, but they were true and she would have to live that.
He eyes landed at the floor and he took a couple deep breaths opening his mouth a few times like he had more to say, but wasn't sure how to go about it. Finally after the silence seemed to go on forever he spoke, "If you die, I die. That's all there is to it. Your life ends then so does mine."
He couldn't believe what she had just asked of him. She had to be insane to think he'd watch her die before his eyes. That he would save himself over her. Had everything that happened thus far just went right over her head? He wasn't sure if she was starting to lose her mind or if she was having regrets, but the necklace around his neck began to weigh on him with guilt of a choice he refused to make. He would do anything to make her happy, but to sacrifice her for himself was not something he would give her.
"You're mad. You've let your fears cloud your whole head. I don't care if I have a family or a community that needs me. If that moment arises I will give up my life for yours. I have nearly died becau...for you already and you're going to ask me a question like that. You might as well go back home if you think I'm going to agree to that idea of yours. Haven't you realized why my parents have tense around you? They know I don't value my life. They know if you and I are ever out in public and someone were to attack I would take the beatings no questions asked so that you could run. I told you to run when Oscar was trying to kill me and you stupidly stood there and got yourself hurt also. You are the one who should be making a promise like that to me. If we have kids you are the one they would need, the one they would want. I can't go home and tell them their mother died because I made a promise years ago. I would never live with myself," Ezra was yelling by this time and he had stood up and attempted to pace the room multiple times only to be forced to lean against the wall for support. He hadn't looked at her since he started the tangent and he still refused to. His words were harsh, but they were true and she would have to live that.
He eyes landed at the floor and he took a couple deep breaths opening his mouth a few times like he had more to say, but wasn't sure how to go about it. Finally after the silence seemed to go on forever he spoke, "If you die, I die. That's all there is to it. Your life ends then so does mine."
Ezra snatched the necklace from her hands quickly and hold it tightly in his own. He could feel relief wash over him as the cold chain warmed up in his palm. He'd been sure he'd never see the necklace again and that his chest would lay bare with the ghost of what used to hang around it. He had kept reaching to grab it out of habit, but always came up empty, so to hold it once more made him feel at ease. He slipped around his neck refusing to let it go.
"I don't know what to say, Marta. I'm grateful to have this back, you have no idea, but I can't...let the anger go. I have begged for a way to move on from the pain, but I have nearly died twice at his hand and if I'm put against him again I don't think I could stop myself from killing him," Ezra said shamefully.
He'd never been one to fight unless he had to, and to the thought of killing someone had never crossed his mind until he met Oscar. He would probably kill himself though if he took the life of the other man. He knew right away he'd feel guilty and the blood would never wash away. He'd descend into madness until the horror of what he did finally became his death. He looked at Marta sadly knowing that wasn't what she wanted to hear from, but the words refused to stop.
"If these people are going to continue and attack us I can't just stand by and let it happen. I will protect my people even if it means taking the life of another. I will protect myself because in turn I would be protecting you. I know he is your friends brother, but to me he is nothing but the enemy and I am tired of being his victim," His voice was steadily rising and he winced a little at the pain of sitting up too fast.
"I don't know what to say, Marta. I'm grateful to have this back, you have no idea, but I can't...let the anger go. I have begged for a way to move on from the pain, but I have nearly died twice at his hand and if I'm put against him again I don't think I could stop myself from killing him," Ezra said shamefully.
He'd never been one to fight unless he had to, and to the thought of killing someone had never crossed his mind until he met Oscar. He would probably kill himself though if he took the life of the other man. He knew right away he'd feel guilty and the blood would never wash away. He'd descend into madness until the horror of what he did finally became his death. He looked at Marta sadly knowing that wasn't what she wanted to hear from, but the words refused to stop.
"If these people are going to continue and attack us I can't just stand by and let it happen. I will protect my people even if it means taking the life of another. I will protect myself because in turn I would be protecting you. I know he is your friends brother, but to me he is nothing but the enemy and I am tired of being his victim," His voice was steadily rising and he winced a little at the pain of sitting up too fast.
Ezra looked at her a bit confused and opened his mouth a moment before closing it. Had she really thought his home wasn't her own? He had spoken with his parents about integrating her into their everyday lives and he just assumed it was a matter of time before she decided to officially bring her items over. The house was small, but the two of them didn't need much room, and his mom had already said Marta would need to help with the cleaning. It actually made him feel a bit embarrassed that he had assumed these things, while she was sitting here thinking she had nowhere to go.
"Marta...you've been living here since I left the hospital. I thought you knew this was your home. I would have gone with you to get your things, but I just assumed you felt like you were welcome here," Ezra said with a small chuckle, "Ma and Pa already discussed it. They'll get their room back when I'm better and we'll take the living room. I can sleep on the floor and you can take the sofa. I'm sorry, love. I thought you knew you were already home when you came here."
He ran a hand through her hair and pulled her close to him. He rubbed her back gently before planting a kiss on her forehead. She was a part of his life from now on and with things heading the way they were with Hitler he refused to let his parents push his feelings aside. He was reckless and he'd give his life for any cause which meant he was destined to die before he was old and gray. He was determined to live his life for himself these days even it meant it could be his last time seeing the ones he cared about. He settled back into the bed and brought Marta with him. He'd been in slightly less pain today, but the standing and few steps he'd taken made him feel like he had just ran a couple blocks.
"How did they find out? I thought we kept it hidden well enough from your side of town. Unless..." his jaw clenched a little, "it was Oscar wasn't it?"
"Marta...you've been living here since I left the hospital. I thought you knew this was your home. I would have gone with you to get your things, but I just assumed you felt like you were welcome here," Ezra said with a small chuckle, "Ma and Pa already discussed it. They'll get their room back when I'm better and we'll take the living room. I can sleep on the floor and you can take the sofa. I'm sorry, love. I thought you knew you were already home when you came here."
He ran a hand through her hair and pulled her close to him. He rubbed her back gently before planting a kiss on her forehead. She was a part of his life from now on and with things heading the way they were with Hitler he refused to let his parents push his feelings aside. He was reckless and he'd give his life for any cause which meant he was destined to die before he was old and gray. He was determined to live his life for himself these days even it meant it could be his last time seeing the ones he cared about. He settled back into the bed and brought Marta with him. He'd been in slightly less pain today, but the standing and few steps he'd taken made him feel like he had just ran a couple blocks.
"How did they find out? I thought we kept it hidden well enough from your side of town. Unless..." his jaw clenched a little, "it was Oscar wasn't it?"
Ezra shook his head slowly as he set up a little straighter. He watched Marta's movements closing sensing the moment he saw her something wasn't right. He allowed her to busy herself for a bit before speaking. He made sure his voice was quiet so that it didn't startle her, "Marta. I'm sorry. I should have pulled away or pushed her away, but she needed me in that moment and I have already broken her heart. Forgive me, please. I promise it won't happen again. I have told her I love you and only you. Please do not be angry with me. If you wish me not to see her I promise to do my best to make that possible. Just don't be mad at me," he said as he pushed his legs over the edge of the bed and began to stand.
He propped himself against the bed frame before taking a small step towards her. He did his best to keep his balance and his ribs sent a dull ache through his body as he took another step towards her. He reached out his hand and pulled himself towards her trying not to put too much weight onto her body. "I care for you and only you. I would walk to the ends of the earth if it meant you would be happy," he whispered as he sucked in a deep breath to try and control the pain.
He propped himself against the bed frame before taking a small step towards her. He did his best to keep his balance and his ribs sent a dull ache through his body as he took another step towards her. He reached out his hand and pulled himself towards her trying not to put too much weight onto her body. "I care for you and only you. I would walk to the ends of the earth if it meant you would be happy," he whispered as he sucked in a deep breath to try and control the pain.
Ezra had spent a majority of his time recovering with Marta. She would be there in the morning whenever he had breakfast and would fall asleep next to him after dinner. It was the times that she was around, and helping downstairs that he found his time taken up with Atalia who would bring him his school work and read books or the paper to him. He hadn't really told Marta the amount of time the two had spent together, not because he was hiding it, but it had never come up in conversation. Atalia was his fiancee by arrangement, so for the two of them to spend time together wasn't out of the ordinary.
On this day she'd finally decided to open up about her fathers funeral that occurred that morning. With him being bed ridden his family hadn't been able to attended, but he was sure his mother had packed Atalia's family plenty of food so they wouldn't have to worry about cooking. She had just finished reading him a chapter from one of his favorite books when she burst into tears.
"Atalia...you didn't have to come today. I know this is hard on you, seeing me like this so shortly after your fathers passing. I wouldn't blame you for hating me," Ezra said quietly trying to avoid her gaze.
Atalia shrugged a little and wiped the tears that began to fall down her cheeks, "Ezra, you are the only thing keeping me from throwing myself off a bridge to drown. Mother and I...we're stuck here. In a home that doesn't feel like home anymore. His ghost lingers in everything. Mother refuses to get rid of anything that belonged to him. She still sets his plate for meals. I can't bare being at that house," she said as she sniffled a little.
Ezra placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and before he knew it she was crying into his chest and he was rubbing her back trying to calm her down. "Atalia, you can't speak of killing yourself so loosely. You're my best friend and I refuse to let you do that. We promised each other when we were kids that if we died we'd die together on an adventure around Europe or even America. Even if we are not together, I still hold you to that," Ezra said.
Her shoulders began to shake a little less and she pulled herself away with a small chuckle, "We will marry and honeymoon in America, Ezra," she said with a smile that didn't quiet reach her eyes. She knew that was no longer an option. That he loved another girl and while they had been somewhat of a couple, it was never quiet that serious. They hadn't even shared a kiss...he kept those reserved for Marta. It pained Atalia to know that she had lost the only person who understood enough. The only person she had ever allowed herself to love.
"Atalia...you know my feelings. We're nothing more than friends and it's been that way for a bit now. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I can't change how I feel about her. I wish that I could sometimes so that she could go about living a life without me, a better one than this one I've given her full of horror and hate. I wish we could go back to how it was Atalia, but she's who's I'm supposed to be with and after everything I refuse to live a mediocre life," Ezra said placing a hand on her cheek and wiping away the tears that seemed to falling.
Atalia nodded. She knew all of that already, but to hear it spoken out loud hurt even more. She bit her lip when she heard the door open and quickly placed her lips against his. It was nothing romantic, and Ezra being caught off guard had no idea how to react. She let her hands find his face and she held him to her for a couple more seconds before they pushed away from each other. They looked into each others eyes knowing full way that the kiss was more a way to put their chapter to rest.
He glanced towards the door his cheeks burning red as he saw Marta standing there watching them. His eyes darted between the girls, but it was Atalia who spoke. She stood up and turned slowly a little embarrassed that she had been so petty. "I kissed him, Marta. I needed to end our story. I needed to have the closure before I could accept you two. Please...forgive me," she said sadly as she looked at her feet, "I have lost my only father and laid him to rest this morning, and I beg you not to forbid Ezra from seeing me, I cannot lose my only friend also."
On this day she'd finally decided to open up about her fathers funeral that occurred that morning. With him being bed ridden his family hadn't been able to attended, but he was sure his mother had packed Atalia's family plenty of food so they wouldn't have to worry about cooking. She had just finished reading him a chapter from one of his favorite books when she burst into tears.
"Atalia...you didn't have to come today. I know this is hard on you, seeing me like this so shortly after your fathers passing. I wouldn't blame you for hating me," Ezra said quietly trying to avoid her gaze.
Atalia shrugged a little and wiped the tears that began to fall down her cheeks, "Ezra, you are the only thing keeping me from throwing myself off a bridge to drown. Mother and I...we're stuck here. In a home that doesn't feel like home anymore. His ghost lingers in everything. Mother refuses to get rid of anything that belonged to him. She still sets his plate for meals. I can't bare being at that house," she said as she sniffled a little.
Ezra placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and before he knew it she was crying into his chest and he was rubbing her back trying to calm her down. "Atalia, you can't speak of killing yourself so loosely. You're my best friend and I refuse to let you do that. We promised each other when we were kids that if we died we'd die together on an adventure around Europe or even America. Even if we are not together, I still hold you to that," Ezra said.
Her shoulders began to shake a little less and she pulled herself away with a small chuckle, "We will marry and honeymoon in America, Ezra," she said with a smile that didn't quiet reach her eyes. She knew that was no longer an option. That he loved another girl and while they had been somewhat of a couple, it was never quiet that serious. They hadn't even shared a kiss...he kept those reserved for Marta. It pained Atalia to know that she had lost the only person who understood enough. The only person she had ever allowed herself to love.
"Atalia...you know my feelings. We're nothing more than friends and it's been that way for a bit now. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I can't change how I feel about her. I wish that I could sometimes so that she could go about living a life without me, a better one than this one I've given her full of horror and hate. I wish we could go back to how it was Atalia, but she's who's I'm supposed to be with and after everything I refuse to live a mediocre life," Ezra said placing a hand on her cheek and wiping away the tears that seemed to falling.
Atalia nodded. She knew all of that already, but to hear it spoken out loud hurt even more. She bit her lip when she heard the door open and quickly placed her lips against his. It was nothing romantic, and Ezra being caught off guard had no idea how to react. She let her hands find his face and she held him to her for a couple more seconds before they pushed away from each other. They looked into each others eyes knowing full way that the kiss was more a way to put their chapter to rest.
He glanced towards the door his cheeks burning red as he saw Marta standing there watching them. His eyes darted between the girls, but it was Atalia who spoke. She stood up and turned slowly a little embarrassed that she had been so petty. "I kissed him, Marta. I needed to end our story. I needed to have the closure before I could accept you two. Please...forgive me," she said sadly as she looked at her feet, "I have lost my only father and laid him to rest this morning, and I beg you not to forbid Ezra from seeing me, I cannot lose my only friend also."
Ezra did his best to raise his arms so that he had them wrapped around her waist. He ignored the pain he was feeling and her words pulling her back into a kiss that was filled with hunger and lust. His fingers dug into her back as he kissed her for what felt like would be the last time. He wasn't sure if she'd change her mind and he wanted to memorize the way her lips felt against his and the way her tongue tasted pressed against his own. He pulled her on top of him wincing slightly from the pressure of her weight pressing down on his broken ribs, but he refused to let up. His head began to feel a little dizzy after a couple moments and reluctantly he parted with her to catch his breath. He leaned back against the bed eyes closed as he panted a little and cringed.
"I came to terms with dying young since the first time you kissed me. I thought...I thought you were okay with it when you continued to come around. I've disobeyed my family and my religion, and I've nearly died twice now. You could have run...but I don't think you did. I don't remember seeing you run...I...I don't remember too much of what happened...but I saw your face and your feelings changed didn't they? You saw me almost die and you began to second guess me...was I really worth it?" He paused a moment to catch his breath wincing slightly, "I will die young even if you are not mine. I might as well...have a reason for giving up my life. If that man doesn't kill me someone else will. You put too much of it onto yourself. My near deaths are because I am a Jew and Hitler commands my peoples heads."
He placed his hand on her leg and let out a painful sigh. His stomach growled a moment and he let out a little bit of a laugh, "If you...if you help me this one time with my dinner...I promise to let you leave without trying to stop you...I just...I don't want my mother in here...fussing with me. Help me one last time and then you can go if you want or you can stay here in this bed with me and I can hold you until we fall asleep."
"I came to terms with dying young since the first time you kissed me. I thought...I thought you were okay with it when you continued to come around. I've disobeyed my family and my religion, and I've nearly died twice now. You could have run...but I don't think you did. I don't remember seeing you run...I...I don't remember too much of what happened...but I saw your face and your feelings changed didn't they? You saw me almost die and you began to second guess me...was I really worth it?" He paused a moment to catch his breath wincing slightly, "I will die young even if you are not mine. I might as well...have a reason for giving up my life. If that man doesn't kill me someone else will. You put too much of it onto yourself. My near deaths are because I am a Jew and Hitler commands my peoples heads."
He placed his hand on her leg and let out a painful sigh. His stomach growled a moment and he let out a little bit of a laugh, "If you...if you help me this one time with my dinner...I promise to let you leave without trying to stop you...I just...I don't want my mother in here...fussing with me. Help me one last time and then you can go if you want or you can stay here in this bed with me and I can hold you until we fall asleep."
Ezra looked at her, blinking a couple times trying to get her into focus. He nodded his head slowly, he wasn't too hungry, but she looked ready to leave and he wanted her to stay with him. he reached out his hand slightly toward her but it fell a couple inches short. His head wasn't hurting too bad since they had given him plenty of medicine, and his mother would be getting more for him later. He let his head fall back against the pillows and gave a small sigh which shot a pain through his torso. He cringed a little and bit his lip.
"Come sit...on...bed," he whispered scooting over a little so that she could fit next to him, "I...want...to...touch." His words came out slow and there was a small struggle to get them out, but he was doing his best to try and show her he was okay.
He could tell right away that guilt was eating at her and he knew she blamed herself. He closed his eyes for a second trying to will away the imagines of the incident. He wished she would have run, but he knew it was a long shot. Part of him didn't think he'd wake up and see her again. Ezra thought she'd never come back around let alone offer to feed him. He reached for her again noticing her hesitation to join him on the bed.
"Please, Marta. Sit...sit with me," Ezra was begging now. His heart began to beat faster and he could feel himself getting worked up like a child who didn't get what they wanted for their birthday. He could also feel himself getting angrier for being unable to pull her into bed with him. His strength was there, but his body was too sore to obey and the smallest movements made him want to scream out in pain. He tried to keep his head up, but it kept fall back down and the anger slowly became sadness as he looked at her. "You...you want to leave. You don't...want me?"
"Come sit...on...bed," he whispered scooting over a little so that she could fit next to him, "I...want...to...touch." His words came out slow and there was a small struggle to get them out, but he was doing his best to try and show her he was okay.
He could tell right away that guilt was eating at her and he knew she blamed herself. He closed his eyes for a second trying to will away the imagines of the incident. He wished she would have run, but he knew it was a long shot. Part of him didn't think he'd wake up and see her again. Ezra thought she'd never come back around let alone offer to feed him. He reached for her again noticing her hesitation to join him on the bed.
"Please, Marta. Sit...sit with me," Ezra was begging now. His heart began to beat faster and he could feel himself getting worked up like a child who didn't get what they wanted for their birthday. He could also feel himself getting angrier for being unable to pull her into bed with him. His strength was there, but his body was too sore to obey and the smallest movements made him want to scream out in pain. He tried to keep his head up, but it kept fall back down and the anger slowly became sadness as he looked at her. "You...you want to leave. You don't...want me?"
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