Marta let Ezra kiss her. She would not deny him the thing he wanted, but she tried to keep it soft. But she felt the need behind the kiss, and Ezra's hands on her back as he tried to pull her closer. Marta was nervous about hurting him, and did her best to hold herself up, but with a final tug from Ezra, she fell forward and landed lightly on his chest. But she didn't break the kiss, Ezra kept it going, so she did too. Every kiss they shared brought goosebumps to Marta's arms, and ache to form in the pit of her stomach. She never wanted to stop kissing him, but when he pulled back, Marta sat up carefully. She saw he was in pain, and Marta frowned, but didn't say anything.

She listened to him as he reinforced her greatest fear: she would be the death of him. But he did his best to make her understand that he saw no future for himself, so he wanted to live as much in the present as he could, and that meant being with her. That made Marta's core ache with sadness. She wanted Ezra to believe that he had a life beyond the next year, or five years, hell even ten. Marta wanted him to imagine himself as an old man with gray hair and wrinkly skin. And she wanted to be in that picture. When he said that all she had to do was feed him and then she was free to go, she shook her head rapidly.

"No" she said. "I am not leaving. Ezra you are worth everything. Seeing you almost die... it didn't scare me away, it scared me to death. Ezra I can't imagine losing you, and to think I brought you one step closer to death, how can I not be scared to want to leave in order to keep you safe? But you are right, you aren't safe. No one is, and I am putting too much blame on myself. So we both just need to be more careful. But please stop thinking that I want to leave because you aren't worth. Ezra, you are the reason I am sticking around."

She stood from the bed and went over and got the soup from the tray. She back down and began to feed him slowly. Once finished, she laid down next to Ezra, careful not to brush against him too hard, and carefully rest her head on his shoulder. "You are stuck with me" she whispered, as she felt the exhaustion from the day finally overcome her.

-------------

It was Saturday. It has been about five days since Ezra's attack. He was still on bed rest, but was recovering remarkably quickly. He was able to feed himself, and even sit up for short periods of time. His father still helped bathe and dress him, but Marta made sure to help whenever she could. She would bring Ezra his meals and help feed him, when needed. She would sit by his side and read to him, and even write down any of his thoughts that he wanted on paper. She didn't want his passion for his writing to stop, even if he couldn't physically write well yet. And every night, the two would fall asleep in each other's arms. Ezra's parents gave up trying to separate them, and they agreed so long as the door remained open the entire night. Marta completely agreed to that arrangement, especially since it meant she got to sleep in Ezra's arms.

During the days, Marta started to help down in the bakery, since they were short-staffed without Ezra. Marta insisted, and understood that Abe wasn't comfortable working up front and with the customers. So Marta helped as much as she could in the back; cleaning dishes, sweeping and mopping the floors, and helping with the baking to some extent. She knew Abe didn't trust her with the food, which honestly, Marta didn't trust herself. But there were simple tasks she could handle, like mixing the dry ingredients together or icing some of the cookies. Whatever she could do, she would.

It was Saturday afternoon. The bakery was slow, so Marta told Abe and Edith she was going to run home and get some clean clothes and what not. She had no been home once since the attack, nor has she been to any classes at school; she called her parents nightly and told them she was still at Sarah's. She always managed to make up an excuse as to why Sarah's father couldn't come to the phone. Marta never thought there would be a day that she would lie to her parents so much, but she appears to be an expert. She still loved her parents dearly, but their lifestyle was completely foreign to her now. How can she be a part of a world that fueled the hate? The hate that almost killed the man she loves. She knows her father is a good man, and he is trapped at his job, but he is too much of a coward to fight. And her mother, well she was hopeless.

Twenty minutes later, she reached her house, though to her it didn't feel like home anymore, and walked up the stairs. She went to put the key in the lock, but found the door already opened. Frowning, she walked in and standing in front of her were her parents. They did not look happy; her mother had daggers in her eyes and her father had a look of disappointment.

"Mother? Father? Is everything ok?"

"Get out!" Her mother shouted, completely startling Marta.

"Mother what is going..." she started to say, but was cut off.

"Get your filthy Jewish dirt out of my house."

Marta's eyes widened and it felt like a canon ripped through her chest. She looked between her parents, her hands trembling. That is when she noticed two suitcases sitting on the floor behind her parents. They were really kicking her out. She knew that one day this would happen, but to actually have it happen, it hurt Marta. She looked at her father, tears welling in her eyes. She hated what she has done to her father, he has always been kind and caring to her, but she had hoped deep down that maybe he would understand.

"Daddy?" she said, her voice quiet and meek, like when she was a child and was apologizing for doing something naughty.

Her father looked at her for a moment, before dropping his gaze and turning to leave. That was worse than him yelling at her. She couldn't help but let a sob escape her lips, as she looked at her mother once more, before reaching over and grabbing her suitcases. She turned to leave, but before doing so, turned back to her mother, "I will always love you both. With all my heart."

She then left, without looking back. She felt her world collapsing, but she had to keep moving. This chapter of life was over. She walked away from the house she grew up in. But she had a new life ahead of her. As she made her way down the street, she heard someone calling her name. Turning around she saw Sarah coming towards her. She froze, her eyes panicking as she looked around for Oscar. He had to be there. He must be coming back to finish on his threat. But she didn't see him.

As Sarah approached, Marta made sure to keep a safe distance between them.

"Marta, I have been looking all over for you."

"Why? What do you want?" Marta asked rather harshly, but after what her brother did to her and Ezra, Marta's behavior was allowed.

"Marta I am so sorry!"

"What do you mean?"

"Oh Marta, it is all my fault! Your parents... they called my house. They asked for you, but I was confused and said you weren't there, and then my brother took the phone and he..."

Marta held her hand up. She knew exactly where this story was going. Oscar blabbed to her parents of where Marta's been and who she has been associated with. She took a deep breath, looking at Sarah. "Sarah, I do not blame you. But I do blame your brother. And I wish nothing but horrible things for him, but for you, I hope you find peace."

"Oh Marta! Please understand... he's out of control. I hate everything about him. I just... he isn't the brother I once knew." She then reached into her pocket and pulled out a gold chain. Marta gasped. She knew what it was right away, it was Ezra's necklace. "I took this from his room, it was the least I could do."

Marta took the necklace, "Thank you Sarah. This means so much. And I do truly wish nothing but happiness for you."

The girls hugged, and Marta left, knowing that would be the last time she would see Sarah.

----------

Marta arrived back at the bakery. She left her suitcases hidden out back, not sure yet how to tell Ezra's parents what happened. She didn't want to assume she could continue to stay here, but she hoped it would be ok. She checked in with Abe to see if he needed help, but he was handling things, so Marta said she wanted to go check on Ezra. So she made her way up the stairs and took off her shoes and coat, before walking over to the bedroom. She frowned a little when she noticed the door closed; they tended to keep it open now so that if Ezra needed anything they could hear him better. She walked over, and opened the door, and once the room came into focus, she let out a gasp. Before her was Atalia, leaning over Ezra, her lips against Ezra's. Marta stood there, unsure of what to do or say.

Ezra had spent a majority of his time recovering with Marta. She would be there in the morning whenever he had breakfast and would fall asleep next to him after dinner. It was the times that she was around, and helping downstairs that he found his time taken up with Atalia who would bring him his school work and read books or the paper to him. He hadn't really told Marta the amount of time the two had spent together, not because he was hiding it, but it had never come up in conversation. Atalia was his fiancee by arrangement, so for the two of them to spend time together wasn't out of the ordinary.

On this day she'd finally decided to open up about her fathers funeral that occurred that morning. With him being bed ridden his family hadn't been able to attended, but he was sure his mother had packed Atalia's family plenty of food so they wouldn't have to worry about cooking. She had just finished reading him a chapter from one of his favorite books when she burst into tears.

"Atalia...you didn't have to come today. I know this is hard on you, seeing me like this so shortly after your fathers passing. I wouldn't blame you for hating me," Ezra said quietly trying to avoid her gaze.

Atalia shrugged a little and wiped the tears that began to fall down her cheeks, "Ezra, you are the only thing keeping me from throwing myself off a bridge to drown. Mother and I...we're stuck here. In a home that doesn't feel like home anymore. His ghost lingers in everything. Mother refuses to get rid of anything that belonged to him. She still sets his plate for meals. I can't bare being at that house," she said as she sniffled a little.

Ezra placed a comforting hand on her shoulder and before he knew it she was crying into his chest and he was rubbing her back trying to calm her down. "Atalia, you can't speak of killing yourself so loosely. You're my best friend and I refuse to let you do that. We promised each other when we were kids that if we died we'd die together on an adventure around Europe or even America. Even if we are not together, I still hold you to that," Ezra said.

Her shoulders began to shake a little less and she pulled herself away with a small chuckle, "We will marry and honeymoon in America, Ezra," she said with a smile that didn't quiet reach her eyes. She knew that was no longer an option. That he loved another girl and while they had been somewhat of a couple, it was never quiet that serious. They hadn't even shared a kiss...he kept those reserved for Marta. It pained Atalia to know that she had lost the only person who understood enough. The only person she had ever allowed herself to love.

"Atalia...you know my feelings. We're nothing more than friends and it's been that way for a bit now. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but I can't change how I feel about her. I wish that I could sometimes so that she could go about living a life without me, a better one than this one I've given her full of horror and hate. I wish we could go back to how it was Atalia, but she's who's I'm supposed to be with and after everything I refuse to live a mediocre life," Ezra said placing a hand on her cheek and wiping away the tears that seemed to falling.

Atalia nodded. She knew all of that already, but to hear it spoken out loud hurt even more. She bit her lip when she heard the door open and quickly placed her lips against his. It was nothing romantic, and Ezra being caught off guard had no idea how to react. She let her hands find his face and she held him to her for a couple more seconds before they pushed away from each other. They looked into each others eyes knowing full way that the kiss was more a way to put their chapter to rest.

He glanced towards the door his cheeks burning red as he saw Marta standing there watching them. His eyes darted between the girls, but it was Atalia who spoke. She stood up and turned slowly a little embarrassed that she had been so petty. "I kissed him, Marta. I needed to end our story. I needed to have the closure before I could accept you two. Please...forgive me," she said sadly as she looked at her feet, "I have lost my only father and laid him to rest this morning, and I beg you not to forbid Ezra from seeing me, I cannot lose my only friend also."

Marta didn't know how to react. What was suppose to happen in a situation like this? To catch a woman kissing the man you loved was one thing, but when that woman was meant to marry said man, what can you say? In this situation, Marta was the wrong-doer. She was the one stealing the man, yet she felt the green eye monster stirring in her again. How could she not? But she did her best to remain calm, and she let Atalia say what she had to say. Marta felt the sincerity in the girl's voice, and sadness in her heart when she heard the girl speak of her father. Marta knew this girl was important to Ezra, so she was going to have to accept her in their life. It was a crazy web they wove, a love triangle for the storybooks, but Marta had more important things to worry about. For example, where she would live in Ezra's parents didn't allow her stay.

She took a deep breath and looked at Atalia, "Please Atalia, forgive me. I have entered all of your lives and created chaos. It was never my intention. I know how important you are to Ezra and I could never get in the way of your friendship. I beg you to forgive me."

"Of course Marta. One cannot always control their heart. It has a mind of it's own."

Marta let out a little laugh, nodding her head in agreement. Atalia turned and gave Ezra a shift kiss on the cheek, then walked past Marta, nodding at her as she left the room and walked down the stairs. Marta stood there for a minute, trying to process everything that just happened. She was still frazzled from her encounter with her parents, and then Sarah, and now this. Her brain was on overload, so for a brief moment she made everything shut up. She looked up at Ezra, smiling. It felt a bit forced, but she hoped he didn't realize.

"So I think your mother wants to try and have you eat some solid food tonight" she said, clearly trying to change the subject to help from going mad with all the new information she needed to process.

She walked over and saw the basket of clean clothes Edith had pulled down from the line outside the window this morning. She must not have had time to fold it, so Marta picked it up and began folding it for her. "How are you feeling? Do you need anything?"

Ezra shook his head slowly as he set up a little straighter. He watched Marta's movements closing sensing the moment he saw her something wasn't right. He allowed her to busy herself for a bit before speaking. He made sure his voice was quiet so that it didn't startle her, "Marta. I'm sorry. I should have pulled away or pushed her away, but she needed me in that moment and I have already broken her heart. Forgive me, please. I promise it won't happen again. I have told her I love you and only you. Please do not be angry with me. If you wish me not to see her I promise to do my best to make that possible. Just don't be mad at me," he said as he pushed his legs over the edge of the bed and began to stand.

He propped himself against the bed frame before taking a small step towards her. He did his best to keep his balance and his ribs sent a dull ache through his body as he took another step towards her. He reached out his hand and pulled himself towards her trying not to put too much weight onto her body. "I care for you and only you. I would walk to the ends of the earth if it meant you would be happy," he whispered as he sucked in a deep breath to try and control the pain.

Marta continued to busy herself with the folding. She let her mind wander for a moment as she thought about her suitcases currently hidden in the alley. She hadn't had a chance to look in them and see exactly what her parents gave her. They could be empty for all she knew, but hopefully they at least gave her some clothes. Though Marta knew a lot of her outfits were not acceptable for her new lifestyle, she needed something to wear and she felt bad for borrowing all of Edith's clothes. She heard Ezra speak, and she listened to his words, but her mind still couldn't fully process an answer. She was going to try and think of something to say, when she suddenly heard the mattress squeak. Glancing up, she saw Ezra stand from the bed. That immediately grabbed Marta's attention. She dropped the pair of pants in her hands, and took a few steps, meeting Ezra half way.

She got to him just in time, to have him partially collapse in her arms. She held him carefully around the waist, careful not to touch his ribs. This was the first time he stood on his own, and Marta wanted to scold him like a child, but then he said what said. Marta looked up, her eyes softened and filled with love. She carefully leaned over, planting a sweet kiss on his lips. She pulled back and smiled at him, "You are too stubborn for your own good."

They both were stubborn, which is why they couldn't keep away from each other. Ezra was being stubborn in his determination to keep Marta happy at all costs. She let out a happy sigh, and gave him another shift kiss, before helping him back into the bed. Once he was settled, Marta sat down, facing Ezra.

"I meant what I said to Atalia. I am not going to keep you from seeing her. She is too important to you, and I have no right to interfere. I just want you to be honest with me about your relationship with her. When you keep it hidden that is what upsets me. It makes me feel like you don't trust me, which I know isn't the case."

She sat there, running her fingers gently up and down Ezra's arms. She noticed she started doing things like that without even noticing. She liked feeling Ezra's skin and hair under her fingers, it kept her grounded. And Ezra never complained.

"And I am sorry for being so stand-offish just now. I just...I ..." Marta wasn't sure how to tell him what happened to her earlier. "I went home earlier today to get some clean clothes. My parents, they were there waiting for me, with two suitcases. They kicked me out." Marta decided to hold off on telling him how exactly they found out. Marta and his parents never mentioned Oscar or what happened to him around Ezra. They did not want to trigger anything and make Ezra have a panic attack.

"I just have a lot on my mind, you know... have to figure out where I am going to live now" she said, half sarcastically, half serious. She didn't want to assume she could stay here, with Ezra's family, but she really hoped she could. She felt more at home everyday. It didn't even bother her how much she has sacrificed. She no longer has food prepared for every meal, or a driver waiting to take her wherever she wanted to go, or a bathroom all to herself. None of those materialistic things matter, as long as she had Ezra by her side.

Ezra looked at her a bit confused and opened his mouth a moment before closing it. Had she really thought his home wasn't her own? He had spoken with his parents about integrating her into their everyday lives and he just assumed it was a matter of time before she decided to officially bring her items over. The house was small, but the two of them didn't need much room, and his mom had already said Marta would need to help with the cleaning. It actually made him feel a bit embarrassed that he had assumed these things, while she was sitting here thinking she had nowhere to go.

"Marta...you've been living here since I left the hospital. I thought you knew this was your home. I would have gone with you to get your things, but I just assumed you felt like you were welcome here," Ezra said with a small chuckle, "Ma and Pa already discussed it. They'll get their room back when I'm better and we'll take the living room. I can sleep on the floor and you can take the sofa. I'm sorry, love. I thought you knew you were already home when you came here."

He ran a hand through her hair and pulled her close to him. He rubbed her back gently before planting a kiss on her forehead. She was a part of his life from now on and with things heading the way they were with Hitler he refused to let his parents push his feelings aside. He was reckless and he'd give his life for any cause which meant he was destined to die before he was old and gray. He was determined to live his life for himself these days even it meant it could be his last time seeing the ones he cared about. He settled back into the bed and brought Marta with him. He'd been in slightly less pain today, but the standing and few steps he'd taken made him feel like he had just ran a couple blocks.

"How did they find out? I thought we kept it hidden well enough from your side of town. Unless..." his jaw clenched a little, "it was Oscar wasn't it?"

Marta felt warmth envelope her body when she heard Ezra confirmed what she had hoped. That this was her home now. Every day she spent here, she found more and more comfort in being here. She loved the smells, the way it always smelt like fresh made baked goods. She loved the simplicity. Her parent's house was filled with art, and sculptures and whatever they could find to make their house more extravagant so when they had company they would be impressed. Marta found it all materialistic and tacky. Despite being given whatever she wanted, Marta had always kept her room simple. She only had one portrait hanging, it was a painting of the ocean view from the beaches in France they went to every summer. That may be the only sacrifice Marta will miss. The chance to see the ocean. It was truly spectacular and Marta loved the feeling of the sand between her toes, and the water hitting her legs, all while watching a beautiful sunset. But she had something better. A man who loved her and she loved back.

"I feel more at home here than I ever did at my parent's house" she said, "I just didn't want to assume. But I promise to work and earn my keep here."

She knew Ezra wouldn't kick her out if she decided to sit around all day, but his parents would not be too fond of that idea. But Marta wanted to make sure she didn't give them more reasons to hate her. She saw that they were beginning to accept her more and more, but ultimately, she knew if she disappeared suddenly they would not be heartbroken, unlike their son. When Ezra pulled her close to him, she carefully laid down on her side, facing Ezra, resting her head carefully on his shoulder and resting her hand on his upper chest, avoiding his ribs. She would never bore of this or never stop wanting to be in Ezra's arms. It made her feel things she never thought possible.

When Ezra asked her house her parents found out, Marta inwardly cringed. She didn't want to tell him, it would only upset him, but then he guessed it. Letting out a sigh, Marta propped herself up onto her elbows, still lying next to Ezra, but could look into his eyes.

"It was my fault. I stupidly continued to use Sarah as my alibi. I just couldn't focus on my cover story. I guess my parents finally called Sarah's house to ask about me, but Oscar took the phone and told them everything. I am not upset they know, I am just upset how they found out. I did want to tell them, I just didn't know how yet."

Marta looked away, feeling the tears forming in her eyes once again. She is surprised her body could still form tears after the amount she has cried in the past few weeks. But crying was good, it was cleansing. She only let a few spill before collecting herself. Then she suddenly remembered; reaching into her pocket, she pulled out Ezra's necklace and handed it to him.

"Sarah caught me as I was leaving my parent's house. She apologize and said she hated everything her brother has done" she said, "She knows she can't fix it, but she managed to get that back for you."

Ezra snatched the necklace from her hands quickly and hold it tightly in his own. He could feel relief wash over him as the cold chain warmed up in his palm. He'd been sure he'd never see the necklace again and that his chest would lay bare with the ghost of what used to hang around it. He had kept reaching to grab it out of habit, but always came up empty, so to hold it once more made him feel at ease. He slipped around his neck refusing to let it go.

"I don't know what to say, Marta. I'm grateful to have this back, you have no idea, but I can't...let the anger go. I have begged for a way to move on from the pain, but I have nearly died twice at his hand and if I'm put against him again I don't think I could stop myself from killing him," Ezra said shamefully.

He'd never been one to fight unless he had to, and to the thought of killing someone had never crossed his mind until he met Oscar. He would probably kill himself though if he took the life of the other man. He knew right away he'd feel guilty and the blood would never wash away. He'd descend into madness until the horror of what he did finally became his death. He looked at Marta sadly knowing that wasn't what she wanted to hear from, but the words refused to stop.

"If these people are going to continue and attack us I can't just stand by and let it happen. I will protect my people even if it means taking the life of another. I will protect myself because in turn I would be protecting you. I know he is your friends brother, but to me he is nothing but the enemy and I am tired of being his victim," His voice was steadily rising and he winced a little at the pain of sitting up too fast.

Marta helped Erza put his necklace back on, seeing the relief in his face. Marta knew how important the necklace was to him, and his family. She saw him reach for it countless times, and every time she felt a pang of guilt in her heart. But it was now back where it belonged. She listened to Ezra, finally express his feelings and thoughts about Oscar. Marta and his parents had been so cautious about discussing what happened, but now Marta was wondering if letting his feelings out would be therapeutic for Ezra. Obviously it would not make him feel safe, or stop the nightmares, or change reality, but hopefully it would stop him from keeping his emotions bottled up. And Marta felt it necessary to make it known that he was not alone.

"Ezra, I did not know what hate was until I met Oscar. There is no denying, I try to see the best in a situation and people, but Oscar doesn't even deserve my hope that he will see his wrongdoing and fix his ways. He is scum who does not deserve to walk on this earth."

Marta felt her anger rising, but she kept her demeanor calm. The words that left her mouth felt foreign. Marta has never spoken so ill of a person before in her life. But everything she said was the truth. If Oscar died tonight, Marta would not mourn him. Hell she may even dance on his grave. It almost scared her about having these feelings, but she was tired of ignoring them. She looked at Ezra as he said he would take Oscar's life, and Marta would not stop him. But Ezra also knew Oscar was stronger, and he had help. The Jewish community was too scared to help fight back, even if they had the numbers. If even just a couple of neighbors had come to their aid the other day, Oscar may not have been able to hurt Ezra as much as he had. But there was too much fear, it made people forget about others and only be concerned with their self. But Marta did not care about herself, all she cared about was Ezra, knowing he was ok and alive. That was all that mattered.

Looking into Ezra's eyes, "Ezra, I need you to promise me something." She knew what she was about to say, Ezra would never agree to, but she hoped if the situation arose, he would follow through with it regardless.

"If something were to ever happen, and we were in a situation that meant one of us was going to die, but they other could survive, I want you to save yourself. You have so much more to live for Ezra. You have parents who love you and support you. You have a strong community who cares about you, and I know it may not seem like it recently, but they do. Everyone asks about you when they come into the bakery. It is just dark times we are living in right, and fear is the driving motive. But your life has so much more value. So please, promise me that you will save yourself first."

"You're kidding me right? Marta, I know sometimes you have odd request but this one is beyond ridiculous. If it's between my life or yours I won't hesitate to fall on the knife or take a bullet. I wouldn't enjoy it, but I refuse to just stand by idly while you die. What kind of question is that? Was getting me this necklace back a way to push your idea on me?" Ezra asked getting more angry by the second. He pushed her away from him and sat up letting his legs hang over the bed his back facing her. He was clenching the bed sheet so tight his knuckles began to grow white and his muscles tensed up.

He couldn't believe what she had just asked of him. She had to be insane to think he'd watch her die before his eyes. That he would save himself over her. Had everything that happened thus far just went right over her head? He wasn't sure if she was starting to lose her mind or if she was having regrets, but the necklace around his neck began to weigh on him with guilt of a choice he refused to make. He would do anything to make her happy, but to sacrifice her for himself was not something he would give her.

"You're mad. You've let your fears cloud your whole head. I don't care if I have a family or a community that needs me. If that moment arises I will give up my life for yours. I have nearly died becau...for you already and you're going to ask me a question like that. You might as well go back home if you think I'm going to agree to that idea of yours. Haven't you realized why my parents have tense around you? They know I don't value my life. They know if you and I are ever out in public and someone were to attack I would take the beatings no questions asked so that you could run. I told you to run when Oscar was trying to kill me and you stupidly stood there and got yourself hurt also. You are the one who should be making a promise like that to me. If we have kids you are the one they would need, the one they would want. I can't go home and tell them their mother died because I made a promise years ago. I would never live with myself," Ezra was yelling by this time and he had stood up and attempted to pace the room multiple times only to be forced to lean against the wall for support. He hadn't looked at her since he started the tangent and he still refused to. His words were harsh, but they were true and she would have to live that.

He eyes landed at the floor and he took a couple deep breaths opening his mouth a few times like he had more to say, but wasn't sure how to go about it. Finally after the silence seemed to go on forever he spoke, "If you die, I die. That's all there is to it. Your life ends then so does mine."

Marta wasn't shocked by Ezra denying her request. She knew he would, but she still hoped deep down if the time came, he would listen. When Ezra sat up, his back to Marta, Marta wanted to reach out and touch him, but thought against it. Marta has learned that Ezra's passion made him unreachable, momentarily at least. Ezra seemed to declare his love and concern for her more in his rages than when he was calm. But Marta knew better than to touch him or try and calm him. At this point, it was best for him to express his feelings.

She was concerned though when he stood up and started pacing. This was more movement his body could handle at the moment, but Marta didn't dare stop him. She did perch herself on the edge of the bed, so if he started to stumble, she could help catch him. He would definitely be sore and exhausted after this. Marta did perk up when she heard the word children leave Ezra's mouth. She bit down on her lip to keep from smiling. She didn't want Ezra to think she wasn't taking this seriously, but when he spoke of children, even if the subject matter was something she hoped never happened, it made Marta feel warm inside. Ezra was always so sure his life would end soon, that he would not live beyond the next few years. But children was a future that would require living longer than that. It meant Ezra has at least thought about it, that means he may have a bit of hope deep down. Marta did not want to say anything on the subject matter, but she felt her hope strengthening again. After the day she had today, and days like when she watched Ezra be beat almost to death, her hope dwindled. But that comment brought some of it back.

Once Ezra had said his peace, and was leaning against the wall, Marta got up and walked slowly over to him, to gauge if he was ok with being touched yet. She walked up, wrapping her arms around his neck and held him close, not saying a word. She did not like setting Ezra off on such a passionate tangent, but his emotions were big. He could not be subtle, which is one of the many reasons she loved him. He didn't hold anything back. Pulling back, she stayed in his arms and gave him a small smile. "You are a stubborn fool Ezra Baer, but I love you so much."

She leaned over to give him a kiss. Unbeknownst to them, Ezra's parents had heard majority of Ezra's rant. They had come up and heard Ezra's loud voice. They got nervous something was wrong, but when they listened and heard how he declared so much of himself for Marta, the couple looked at each other with sad eyes. They were beginning to understand more and more than Marta was not just an infatuation and she wasn't going anywhere. They were accepting her, and realizing that she really was a sweet girl and she was being honest about her desire to become a Jew. Once they heard the commotion in the room settle, they pretended to close the door and act like they just entered for the first time. Edith called, "Dinner will be ready in thirty minutes!" and she went into the kitchen.

Abe walked into the bedroom, frowning when he saw Ezra standing, but also felt a little pride that his son was so strong. But none of those thoughts showed on his face. "Time to bathe son" he said as he started gathering the necessary items.

Marta knew that it meant she had to leave, so she gave Ezra a gentle kiss, leaving the room and closing the door behind her. She walked over to the kitchen and began helping Edith without a word, cutting up carrots for the stew she was making. Edith looked at the girl, truly looked at her, and let out a sign. Her son could have picked worse she thought. She put down the spoon she was using to stir the stew and turned to Marta.

"Marta, dear, I think it is time we take you to see Rabbi Lincoln" she said.

Marta's eyes widened and a smile spread across her lips, "Oh do you mean it Mrs. Baer? That would be amazing!"

In the bedroom, Abe started to help Ezra undress, but before he did, he sat his son down on the bed. "Son, I think it is time we discuss some arrangements. I think it is time for me to meet with Atalia's mother and explain that things have changed and you cannot marry Atalia anymore." He waited to gauge his son's reaction.

Ezra sat down in the bucket with his father's help, his eyes holding the confusion he was trying to hide. He felt like his ears were off today, or maybe he was still reeling from the concussion side effects. Nothing was making sense and the pain he felt from all the movement moments ago was finally settling into his body. He thought about his fathers words a moment while the man poured water down his back and then began to bathe him. He opened his mouth to speak a couple times, but his father had hushed him. Clearly he knew that Ezra still hadn't figured out a way to answer.

"Father, I already told Atalia today that I could not marry her. We had a parting kiss and it was agreed we would continue to be friends," Ezra said a little sheepishly.

His father nodded, "How does Marta feel about you and your ex fiancee being friends?"

Ezra attempted a small shrug before he answered, "She says she's fine with it. That it's something that doesn't bother her. She knows how close Atalia and I are. For the longest time Ata was my only friend. We did everything together. If you had asked me last month about her I'd have sworn up and down that she'd be my first kiss, my first love...my first everything. I had never looked at another girl, pa. Until Marta showed up and I don't know what happened, but it was like they describe it in books. Love at first sight, although I'm sure she hated me and I her when we first met. I thought she would harm me and she thought I was a jerk."

Abe nodded along and dumped another bucket of water on his son. "While we don't agree with what you two are doing, life these days is too short, and you are too reckless. You would probably marry her now if you were old enough. We will allow you two to be a couple, but it must stop there Ezra. Hitler is gaining power, and there is more talk of banishing our people from their homes. She will be unable to go since she is not Jewish," he said quietly, "You may spend nights alone with her and do the things of man and wife if you wish to. Just do not speak of it to anybody. Your mother and I will be leaving on a trip. The bakery will be closed the time we are gone. Your mother seems to be getting ill and we need to see a specialist. We have saved enough money to feed you both while we are away. You may use the items in the bakery, but the money is there if you would like a special treat.

Ezra nodded, but said nothing more as his father helped him out of the bucket and into dry clothes. The two of them walked slowly out to the girls and Abe set Ezra down at the kitchen table. He nodded at Marta giving her a smile, "You can make sure he doesn't fall out of the chair and then I'll let you take him back to bed. Edith and I will be leaving after supper for a bit," he said gesturing towards the beaten up luggage by the door.

Marta looked at Edith, her eyes shining with excitement. "So what will happen when I meet with Rabbi Lincoln?"

"He is aware of your desire to convert to Judaism, but after some thought he has thought it best that he does not allow it. He is happy to meet with you and discuss his reasoning, but it is what he chosen. I am sorry dear."

Marta felt her stomach drop. What did that mean? She couldn't become Jewish? Just because one man says so? And how does he have the right to deny it to her? Marta felt frustrated and very defeated. She wanted this, not just for the sake of being able to be with Ezra without hiding, but because so far the things she has learned about Judaism align with her thoughts and beliefs. What was wrong with wanting to be a part of a religion that has such good values? She turned back to the carrots, unsure of what to say or do now.

"Marta," said Edith, getting the girl's attention, "I understand you are upset dear, but it is what it is. Abe and I have discussed, we know you are very important to our son, which is why we have allowed you to stay. You two may do as you please behind these doors. But outside, you two cannot be seen together anymore. Abe and I have to go on a trip tonight and will be gone for week, if not more. We trust you two to accept and follow our conditions. Be with my son how you wish, but only in this house."

Marta wanted to scream. It was like she was just handed a giant lollipop, but couldn't eat it. Just stare at it and maybe smell it a little. She wanted this life, all of it, but it was being denied to her in so many ways. Her optimism which returned only minutes ago, was washed away again. She would not leave Ezra, and having him in this way was better than not at all, but it hurt. Marta suddenly felt very lost. She just nodded her head to let Edith know she heard and understood.

Once dinner was ready, and Abe brought Ezra out, they gathered around the table and ate dinner. There was no talking, a stiff silence in the air. Marta would occasionally reach under the table to hold Ezra's hand for a moment, to keep her grounded. Because inside she felt everything spinning, and her chest ached. Once dinner was over, Marta did as she was told. After Ezra said his goodbyes to his parents, Marta carefully walked him back into the bedroom and onto the bed.

This was the first time they would be truly alone. Of course they have been alone in the past, but there was always a lurking eye, or the knowledge that any minute his parents would walk in, so it was an odd feeling. Once she knew Ezra was comfortable, Marta remembered her suitcases.

"Ezra I left my belongings downstairs, I will be right back." She turned and went down the stairs and into the alley where her suitcases were. She hadn't had a chance to look through them, so she didn't know what her parents left for her. Once she was back upstairs, she went back into the bedroom, putting the suitcases down. She couldn't bring herself to open them. What if they were empty inside, what if they didn't give her anything? In less than 24 hours, Marta lost her parents, her dream of becoming Jewish, and hope that one day her and Ezra could truly be together. She sat on the edge of the bed, her back to Ezra as silent tears fell from her eyes. She did not say anything to Ezra. What was she suppose to say?

When Marta left him alone to grab her things he wasn't sure what to tell her or how to talk to her. She seemed slightly off and distant, like her mind was elsewhere and her body was moving on auto pilot. He wasn't sure if his mother had said anything or maybe his father had scared her by leaving them alone. Maybe she'd never been alone with a boy before, where as Ezra had spent many nights alone in a home with Atalia so there was nothing odd about it. His parents trusted Marta to care for him or else they wouldn't have gone. He prayed for their safe return since they neglected to tell him where they were headed and what areas they would have to go through. There was no doubt in his mind that they would be crossing Anti-Jewish towns, and his parents were too old to protect themselves. He hoped they weren't traveling alone.

When Marta finally returned Ezra gave her the biggest smile he could manage, but it went unnoticed as she kept her gaze away from him. He leaned forward a bit and grabbed her arm to force her body to face him. He was irritated that she would ignore him when something was clearly bothering her. He'd never been one to share his own feelings, but Marta was different. When she was happy she exploded at the seams, so whenever she became quiet he knew instantly something had happened and she wouldn't speak unless he forced it out of her.

"You're like a child, Marta. Keeping everything bottled up because you're scared your parents will scold you for expressing emotions. Why are you pulling away from me? Did I do something wrong? If this is too much responsibility I can get a neighbor to check in on me. I was hoping to use this time to see how compatible we are. You know, how things will be when we marry. I know I haven't asked for your hand yet, but it will be fun to pretend for a bit, won't it?" He asked wiping the tears from her cheeks with his thumb. He pulled her closer so that she was nearly on his lap. "Marta, my love. Let me kiss away your pain and worries," he said softly.

He brought his lips to hers and gently kissed her, then he moved to her cheeks and forehead. He planted one on her nose and began to trail her jaw line while he hands held her back. He could feel her body shaking and he knew it wasn't from him, but from the crying she was trying to suppress. He hated that she saw him as fragile and unable to handle the stress she was feeling because of his injuries, so he just continued to kiss her in various areas of her face and holding her close to his body, but not close enough to touch.

"Let me inside Marta. If you love me the way you do then you will not let me suffer with the idea that I cannot help you. Let me help you. I will do whatever it takes to bring your smile back, it's been gone too long and I miss it dearly," Ezra whispered pressing his forehead against hers.

Marta felt herself sinking deeper into her current state of depression. It felt like she was drowning, and she didn't know how to fix it. Was it really only a month ago that Marta lived her life filled with rainbows and sunshine? How had so much changed so quickly? And when she felt Ezra answer, she knew why, and suddenly everything felt worth it. It was a hard journey, and it has left Marta more defeated and exhausted than she has eve been, but looking into Ezra's eyes made it all better. Her life with him may not be the picture-perfect life she had, but it was so much better. It was real. Marta has lived more, and experienced more in the past month than she ever would have if she continued living in her parent's homes. The bubble her mother kept her in has been popped, and now Marta was just learning everything. It was like she was an infant walking for the first time. Marta has experienced emotions she never knew existed until she met Ezra.

When Ezra mentioned asking for her hand one day, the tighten in her chest returned, and the tears came harder. But she let him pull her to him, and she returned the kisses as much as she could. Her chest quaked as she tried to keep the sobs from escaping her lips. She closed her eyes, trying to ignore her thoughts and just letting Ezra's touch and kisses sooth her. And they did; she eventually stopped crying, and felt her muscles loosen. Only Ezra could have this effect on her.

When Ezra pulled back, Marta who was sitting up and using her arm to support herself on the other side of Ezra's body, looked down at him. He wanted to make her smile again, and just hearing him say that made her smiled, it was soft and small, but it was genuine. She reached up, brushing his hair out of his eyes. He needed a hair-cut, perhaps Marta could attempt, but she would be too nervous to mess it up.

"Ezra you help me without even knowing" she said softly, reaching down and fiddling with his necklace. It was back where it belonged. "You have given me life. I didn't know what living was until I met you. Has it been tough? Of course. I am experiencing things and emotions I didn't know plausible.... When you speak of marriage, my heart swells, but I..." She took a deep breath, she would not cry again.

"Your mother has told me your Rabbi will not convert me... I cannot become Jewish, which means we will never get to marry. I don't want to just pretend, but if it is all that I can get, I will take it. I can't imagine my life without you."

Ezra nodded. He knew from the start that his Rabbi would be against it. He felt just as Ezra did and the two of them talked frequently about his situation with Marta. He couldn't help but feel partly responsible for the choice his Rabbi made in deciding not to convert her. He'd begged him shortly after he left the hospital to refuse Marta, to save her life and to keep her from being foolish because he couldn't do it himself. Lincoln had understood, and had tried to talk it out calmly with Ezra, but he hadn't been in the mood for more discussion. It seemed like he had agreed.

"Rabbi Lincoln is looking for your best interest and converting now, so hastily while the world around our community is crumbling wouldn't have been good. I had a hand in his choice and I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I was ashamed at my words when I woke up the next morning. It was just after I came home from the hospital. I was on all those medications for the pain, I was practically delirious. I had meant to speak with him again, but I was too scared," Ezra admitted while closing his eyes. "I will marry you Marta, even if it's against my people. I will lay with you in the way husband and wife do and I will love you for eternity. My father has already given his blessing for the second part. He thinks it would be less against my religion to just have sex with you than it is to marry out of it. I choose you over my people and I will continue to choose you until the end of my days."

He began to fumble with the pendant on his necklace, his chest was tight and he believed his words more than anything else. He knew what he was saying was wrong, but he couldn't stop himself. He couldn't help but feel Satan was testing him at the hand of God. He couldn't help but feel like he was failing the trial being given. Perhaps, a small perhaps, he was passing though. God could have demanded Satan to test Ezra's ability to love unconditionally. To choose love over a life of disdain and hate. If he had Marta the hate he held for Oscar would diminish underneath the weight of his happiness.

(Just so you're aware this the views of Satan x God for Jewish people: Jews do believe in Satan, but it's the Satan, like a job title and it means hinderer. So in Judaism the Satan works for God, his job is to hinder and to test so that only the worthy pass. So yes they believe in angels, what they don't believe is that any of the angels could actually rebel against God)

Marta frowned a little when Ezra admitted to swaying Rabbi Lincoln's choice, but she knew he did it out of her best interest. The rumors were growing everyday with things happening around the country. There was talk of Jewish members of a community in Berlin were gathered and forced to live in a five block radius, and a wall was be constructed around them. Families larger than ten were living in apartments smaller than the Baers. Marta prayed that never happened here, but deep down knew it was inevitable. But if Ezra and his parents thought she was just going to watch from the distance as they were taken away, they were in for a surprise. She would be right there with them, by their sides. Even if it was not at first, she would find a way, even if she lied about being Jewish just to make sure she could. She was a fool, but a fool in love.

"Why couldn't we have been alive fifty years ago, or even ten" she said with a sigh. Back to a time when Hitler wasn't in power, and while there was always some hostility against the Jewish community, there was hardly ever any violence. When Ezra spoke of marrying her, regardless of religion, Marta's eyes shined. She didn't want Ezra to have to make that sacrifice, but she couldn't deny how happy hearing those words made her. She felt her cheeks flushed when he spoke of sex. Marta would be lying if she said she hasn't thought about being with Ezra in that way, or that when they would kiss for long periods of time she would feel an ache in her lower regions. But being a virgin, it was still all so foreign to her. She imagined she would wait for marriage, but honestly, she loved Ezra and knew he loved her, so if they ever found the time to be right, she may go through with it.

When Ezra began to fiddle with his necklace, Marta reached up and held onto his hand. She leaned over and kissed his hand, then leaned down a little and kissed his chest, atop of his shirt, where his heart was, and the scar he was so ashamed of. She then leaned over and gave him a tender kiss, letting it deepen slightly, allowing a moment to just relish in Ezra's presence. When she pulled back, she smiled and said "I love you."

Sitting up, Marta got off the bed and went over opened her suitcases finally. Inside, her parents provided her with some of her older, less fashionable dresses, her knickers, a few pairs of shoes, and socks, and her plain wool jacket. They did not give her any of her jewelry or fancier dresses, or her fur coat. But Marta was fine. As she pulled out the last few articles of clothing, she saw some paper at the bottom. She reached in and pulled it out; it was her sheet music for the piano. She smiled, but also felt her heart sink. Her father must have sneaked them in, because she doubted it was her mother's ideas. She held them tightly in her hands, before tucking them back in. She never spoke of her passion to Ezra. It didn't seem important anymore. She would always cherish the piano, but that part of her life seemed over.

Standing she looked at Ezra, "Want to read Shakespeare?"

Ezra settled back into the pillows that she had propped up for him and gave a slight nod. Shakespeare was the only thing keeping him from thinking him and Marta had completely lost their minds about being together. They were at that age where love conquered all and most of the romances he'd read from Shakespeare the couples died, so if that was the worst thing to happen he wouldn't be scared. At least they'd both be together in the end.

"Do the Romeo and Juliet one tonight. I want it fuel my desire to live in this world we've built where somehow we end up together," He said quietly as he closed his eyes a moment.

His body was feeling weak now and the movements he'd made that night were finally starting to settling into his body. His chest felt slightly tender and he let out a small whimper that sounded like an injured puppy. He looked up to see Marta staring at him with concern so he covered his pain with a smile, "I just wanted to get your attention. I hate when you stray so far away. Sometimes when you're here I still go back to that day and each time you get farther away from my grasp," he said scooting over so she could fit next to his.

He'd intentionally ignored her I love you for the sole purpose of not knowing if she would really stick it out with him or if they'd get separated along the way. He didn't want to use the words in case he had to go back on them to make her leave for her own protection. He'd already thought of what to say for the day his family was moved to a smaller house my force. She would never be able to join them since she wasn't really Jewish. She was still a Christian girl as far as Hitler, God, and Ezra was concerned. He'd make it dying wish for her to live her life without him if that day ever came.

When Ezra asked for Romeo and Juliet, Marta smiled and nodded. Walking out into the family room, she went over to the shelf that contained the Baer's books. There wasn't many, though it has grown in past few weeks. Whenever Marta and Ezra would go into the bookshop they use to meet by, occasionally they would buy a second-hand book. Mostly Shakespeare's works, Ezra fell in love with his written word. She walked into the room, and saw the mess she left of her clothes, so she quickly went to tidy them up. As she did, she heard Ezra whimper and Marta quickly stopped what she was doing. She went over and stood, hovering over the bed, ready to help him if he needed it. Hearing his words, she frowned.

"I don't understand" she said, feeling a little hurt, "I know my mind has been preoccupied lately, but I.. how.. why do you think that?"

Marta thought she made things very clear how she felt, and what she was willing to do for him. She sat down on the bed, wanting to be close to him. Was she physically distant? She was always just trying to be cautious about his sore body, but before the attack, she felt like she could never keep her hands off of him. Is that what he meant? Or did he mean straying away emotionally? To be fair, she could say the same to him. Maybe he wasn't straying, but he definitely swayed his emotions. One moment, he will confess his love and tell her he wants to marry her, but the next he won't even return an "I love you". She knew it wasn't that he didn't love her, she felt that deep down, but sometimes she felt like he was pulling her closer and the next pushing away. She assumed it was a battle of brains versus heart. But it mentally exhausted Marta.

"Ezra, I need you to tell me, what do you want from me?" She knew it was a broad question, but she had to understand. Sometimes it felt like the things she said or does were the wrong things. She upsets him even more, and she didn't want him upset. Marta had been stubborn in the beginning, not listening to Ezra's wishes, and maybe he resented her for that. She dug their graves for them. But now that she felt they were on the same boat, at least in her mind, she wanted to work together. The would never survive if they were constantly on opposite ends of the spectrum.

"The nightmares...I see them even when I'm awake. I'm on the ground and I can't reach you or you can't reach me. Every time you go from my side or when I feel the pain it's like you're too far away. I can't stop him from hurting you. I'm being needy. I've had you at my side for so long now that you leave the room and I feel like you'll never come back or I'll never see you again. It's like I'll wake up in that hospital bed again but you won't be waiting for me. I know it's stupid and I know you would never go, but my mind can't help but trail into the dark thoughts of you figuring out that this isn't worth losing your family over. I'm not worth it, this life of terror isn't worth it. Why would you choose to live in fear if you don't have to. I don't think my brain will ever understand that, but that just means you need to stay by my side for as long as you can. I want to be able to follow you out of the bedroom and clean up messes left behind," Ezra said feeling a little defeated.

He wanted nothing more than to be able to walk from the bed to the door by himself without feeling sore, but the doctor had followed up with him and it would be a long while before he was moving long distances by himself. When he did start walking he would need the crutches and he wouldn't be able to hold her the ways that he used to.

"Will you still love me if I force you in my line of sight for the rest of our lives. I don't ever want to not be able to see your face," he whispered lifting his hand and grazing his fingers along her cheek. It was nice to touch her freely without his parents around to keep watch of them. He pushed himself towards her and gave her a kiss on the lips parting her mouth his tongue and then pulling away slowly so that he didn't wince. "I'm not making sense tonight, I'm sorry. I don't know how to think right now. I'm torn between asking you to go back make amends with your parents and asking you to rest your head on my chest and kiss it like you did minutes ago. I don't know what's right and what's wrong these days and you leave me confused and torn in two, but I'm never sure if that's good or bad. Are we good or bad. Is God looking down at us ashamed or proud. If he didn't want me to die then why would he try and take my life so many times? Did he see me falling in love with you and think death was the only punishment suitable for me?"

He'd questioned his God multiple times since being with Marta, and since Hitler began to gain control. Was this their punishment. Was he really more inferior than Marta or Oscar? Should he be more like Oscar in order to live a life where he didn't have to fear. If he was being honest he wished at times he could give up his practice, give up being Jewish and move away from this life, but it was too late. He was in too deep and Marta would never just pack up and start a brand new with him. His parents would never let him leave with her. It was either he goes alone or he stays here.