Andrew Green was finding it easier and easier to
relax. First with the help of his brother before breakfast, and now with the help of his father, Andy was as high as a kite. Of course, he had to dismiss himself from the group of boys in the basement, but he didn’t even know it was possible to be this chilled out. Laid up on his bed, he scrolled through YouTube shorts on his phone… he was halfway through a particularly good one about how to make a fancy garlic bread grilled cheese, and grabbing the link to send it to the chef to see if he could get something like that for a snack, when he saw the notification icon in the corner of the screen.
Those were texts from Amy… The extremely attractive femme fatale who had cornered him in the music room that morning. Andy had been intimidated, scared, and felt an overwhelming attraction he’d never experienced in his entire life. Infatuation, it was called. Andy had genuinely liked that feeling, and he wanted to see her more, but…
He hadn’t opened the texts since he’d gotten them earlier that day. He’d first seen them pop up during their breakfast at the Sunshine Diner. And it made him so anxious! He hadn’t even opened it yet. He was scared to see what she said, and even more scared to leave her on read. But right then and there, in that moment? Maybe… no, no maybe. It was
definitely the weed, but Andy found it in him to open the texts… and see what the devil had in store for him.
To: My Little Rockstar
I know you’ve been thinking about me. Ditch your orbiter of a brother and keep me company.
The second text was sent shortly after lunch, before the pep rally, and it hadn’t been sent with a knowing smirk and a licking of the lips like the first one had; this one was sent with the upward turned lips of someone who was annoyed and considering moving on to the next hapless victim.
To: My Little Rockstar
Don’t ever make me tell you again. Keep. Me. Company.
When Andy Green finally read the text messages, it felt like he was reading his own death sentence. It was so much later than when she’d sent them, if he replied now was she even going to message him back? Would anyone blame him if she didn’t? Andy was so new to this, he wasn’t sure what to do - truth be told, he wasn’t even sure how much Amy liked him. So, he sat up and locked in. Maybe honesty could help him out here.
To: Your Addiction
Uh, sorry. I know I’m late.
We went to breakfast and Ethan made me get high for the first time and I’ve just been zoning out in my bedroom
Everything with this kid was going to be a first, wasn’t it? From the other side of the screen, Andy could likely imagine the eyeroll that Amy Kwon was giving as she read his late response. As far as excuses went, ‘my brother made me get high’ was up there with the dog and the homework. Amy didn’t appreciate being ignored in favor of Ethan Green of all people; it was Ethan who interrupted them in the music room, it was Ethan who needed to mind his own business, and it was Ethan who still backed down and invited Amy to the party anyway. She could handle Ethan Green, but she didn’t want to bother. A guy like that would be his own undoing eventually - all fuckboys wound up in the garbage out back before long, but this was twice now he got in the way of Amy’s satisfaction.
There would not be a third.
To: My Little Rockstar
Don’t tell me you’re sorry. Show me. Prove it.
For most of his life, Andrew Green had never really had anyone talk back to him. His parents loved and spoiled him, his grandmother told him
what to do, but he had never experienced someone
denying an apology, let alone demanding his attention like this. Is this what it was like for Ethan? Were his girlfriends this demanding? Amy wasn’t even Andy’s girlfriend - he was pretty sure anyway - but she was still acting like he should be waiting on her every whim.
As Andy typed on the phone, he wondered if Amy was staring at the screen and watching as he started and stopped over again. He decided there was almost no way she was, as someone like Amy Kwon was probably texting several boys.
He thought about it.
Probably several girls too.
To: Your Addiction
Uh, okay. How?
That didn’t seem strong enough. He deleted it and tried again.
To: Your Addiction
How do you want me to do that?
He thought about it harder this time. This was better! But it made him feel like he was just going to end up being bossed around by Amy too. Did he want that? He deleted it again. Andy needed to be careful, this was the first time in a long time that he was being thrown into the deep end on his own, and it was his time to see if he could sink or swim.
To: Your Addiction
Is it going to be worth it?
Satisfied, he hit send.
There was only a brief moment between Andy sending the message and getting a response. Amy could have made him wait an agonizingly long time, but letting the food cook too long was a good way to have it burnt and inedible. She had seen the three dots appear and disappear and reappear three times before getting the response, which curled those devilish lips into a smirk; had she a spaded tail it would be coiled and swaying in giddy delight. How easy it was to have this little toy at her beck and call with just words typed on a screen. Amy wondered if she told him to buy her some flowers if he would go through with it. But she wasn’t interested in flowers. Flowers wilted and died around her and she was more like a cactus anyway: Prickly, but oh so sweet on the inside. The question is knowing what was inside the pricklethorns, would you take a bite?
To: My Little Rockstar
Nothing in your life is worth more than me. But my statement wasn’t something that demanded a question. I’m starting to think you’re not really sorry, Andrew. I’m starting to think my time would be better spent elsewhere. You wouldn’t want that, would you?
Send. Stay. Smirk.
Andy was out of his element. Why did Amy even want to talk to him so much? He hadn’t done anything interesting or notable throughout his entire high school career, other than have his last name. He wasn’t particularly handsome, at least not compared to some of the guys around school, and he certainly wasn’t very interesting. Did he deserve all the attention he was receiving from Amy? How had she even turned her gaze onto him? He stared at the phone, reading the response she’d sent over and over again. What did Amy want him to say?
To: Your Addiction
No, of course I wouldn’t.
Andy’s thumb hovered over the ‘send’ button before he ultimately held backspace instead. Amy probably didn’t want him to just say what she wanted to hear, whoever wanted that? People wanted you to say what you wanted to say, what you
felt. Andy knew that from music.
To: Your Addiction
Would you?
He nodded to himself as he grinned at the response. Simple, and to the point. Flirting was easy. He tapped the send button.
The little Green was making this considerably less enjoyable. Had he never talked to a woman before? Amy’s smile promptly gave way to a scowl as the wait was about as worth it as a colonic irrigation. She hadn’t asked him a rhetorical question or something that warranted such an inquisitive response and for the grand crime of annoying her, Amy made Andy wait for her response. Seconds. Minutes. Let him stew. Let him learn from this.
To: My Little Rockstar
You are boring me, Little Green. I asked you a question.
Yikes.
Andy stared at the phone for a few seconds. He didn’t have a lot of experience flirting, and he immediately felt like he’d made the wrong move. What was he supposed to do? Just say whatever she wanted? What about what he wanted? The path of least resistance was clear though, and Andy had to decide if he wanted to get in Amy’s good graces, or if he wanted to keep throwing himself at this whole flirting thing.
To: Your Addiction
Can we meet at the game? I do better face-to-face.
That was pretty much, essentially, a boldfaced lie, but Andy wasn’t sure what else to do. Maybe if they were in person, she’d at least be in a better mood, or at least not ‘bored.’ Was there anything sadder to hear a girl say? Andy stared at his phone, and could actively feel whatever remnants of a high he had actively dissipating. If his father or brother could see this conversation, they’d both be massively disappointed in him.. he sighed as he realized he was disappointed with himself.
Even so, Andy pressed send.
Amy had no desire to watch a football game, especially not a homecoming game where all the alumni and old sorts who care way too much about high school sports but she had even less desire to simply spend the evening idle and bored out of her mind. Perhaps there was entertainment to be had tonight though if the text chain was any indication the only thing waiting for her at the game was disappointment. Though with a face-to-face meeting in a public setting it was likely that Ethan wouldn’t be around to interrupt, which meant Amy’s claws could sink further into Andy’s supple, malleable flesh. And that was certainly an enticing thought.
To: My Little Rockstar
Fine. You can buy me a funnel cake.
Andy was cooked.
Even before he’d gotten a driver to take him to the game (he was way too high to be driving himself around), Andy knew he was cooked. He’d realized it right around when he’d gotten another message from Amy. At first hesitant to open it (Andy wasn’t sure he enjoyed her attitude when she double texted), he only opened it when he was in the car and had realized it was an image.
And looking at it had just made him feel even
more fucked! Who sent a boy a picture of their thighs!? It didn’t help that the stupid messages app had an indicator saying that he had in fact opened the message and tapped it. What was he even supposed to say? To do?! A picture of
his thighs in return? He’d look like a moron, especially since he was still in the car.
To: Your Addiction
You’re way too hot for me
Andy sent the message, though he didn’t expect a response back from Amy. Absently, Andy tapped her contact information and changed the name.
Your Addiction → AmyHe couldn’t believe he’d left it that long! She’d added it into his phone herself earlier that day. He stared at the phone and thought about it for a little while. Did he like it? Did she like it? Did it even matter? This was way too hard, how did Ethan do this with
so many girls!? He tapped the name again.
Amy → My Addiction (Amy)He’d just have to make sure he had a cute name in her phone as well. He looked up, and realized the car had arrived at the game. He got out and when the driver asked how long he’d be, Andy shrugged.
“It’s my first date? I don’t know how long these things take. Like, ever.”When the driver nodded in recognition, Andy slipped out of the car and made his way over to the Snack Shack, purchased a funnel cake (with powdered sugar), and then triumphantly pulled out his phone. As far as he was concerned, this was going better than well!
To: My Addiction (Amy)
I just got your funnel cake from the snack shack. Where do you want to meet?
The thigh pic had one purpose: motivation. Amy wanted to remind Andy the kind of game he was playing now; this wasn’t chutes and ladders anymore and he wasn’t ordering from the kids menu. When Amy Kwon blessed your inbox with a picture of any kind, it meant you were at her beck and call. A thigh pic there, a collarbone pic here, sometimes an arm or, for the women, a pic of her jawline - her body was an arsenal and she knew how to use each weapon to the fullest potential. She didn’t need to send nudes or even full body bikini or risque photos; those were the tools of the amateur, the people who didn’t truly know how to handle their toys. If you just gave the tits for free, why would they bother working so hard for your benefit? When even the simplest picture of an arm got an unwanted dick pic in return, what was the point of going full on R rating?
Not that Andy had sent her something as crude as that. He was a good boy. At least until Amy was finished with him.
Amy was annoyed that she was at the football game of all places. As she looked at the cheerleaders on the sideline and the annoying pirate mascot currently dancing to raucous applause, Amy spit onto the grass. There was once a time where she was on the sidelines, smiling, doing a memorized routine, shouting cheesy rhymes while holding a pom pom; that was a lifetime ago, but the wound still felt fresh; still felt in danger of opening and drowning her in the loss of blood. She needed a distraction. She needed to be anywhere but here. She needed…the goddamn funnel cake. Bitter fingers tapped out a response to the series of messages sent to her as she turned her back on the game like she was avoiding the gaze from a gorgon.
To: My Little Rockstar
Behind the bleachers. Hurry up.
As Andy headed toward the bleachers with the funnel cake in hand, he wondered if he was going to get any of it. Was that something people did? Shared funnel cake? He thought about it as he walked, and by the time he was nearing the bleachers, he realized that Amy Kwon was not going to share anything. The chances of him getting a single bite of the sweet treat he’d purchased were basically slim to none… at least he got a thigh pic in his phone for his troubles. Was it okay to save it? He’d have to ask.
No, wait. He shouldn’t ask something like that, she’d probably laugh at him. He’d just have to leave it be and open their conversation if he wanted to look at it (or prove to his brother that it existed). He hadn’t thought about it, but as he approached their meeting spot, he realized that maybe it wasn’t the best idea to invite Amy here. She used to be a cheerleader, right?
Andy just kept that thought to himself, and instead approached the back turned Amy Kwon, and tapped her on the shoulder.
“I didn’t know if you wanted strawberries or not… so I told them no.” Andy had no idea what he was doing.
Before the voice disarmed her, when the hand touched her shoulder, Amy coiled back like a snake ready to strike out at the threat walking past its territory. She was wound tight and if it hadn’t been Andy that spoke then it was possible she would have swung without consideration. It was this place. The fucking memories. Some of the bitches doing the routine still existed in her phone, in the group chats that she stubbornly refused to leave so they just moved to another one without her. She recognized some of her own moves in the routine. She saw herself in their place. Last homecoming she was there, smiling, screaming her lungs out, going for a post-game celebration and sleepover so they could collectively prepare for the dance. And here she was now, behind the bleachers, avoiding the dirt and crumbs falling through the cracks from stomped feet as attendees climbed up and down the steps.
But that resentment was shoved to the back of her mind, like a dirty room being shoved into a closet, when Andy revealed himself. The spotlight was on her and Amy couldn’t be the miserable ball of anger and hatred; she couldn’t let them see her sweat. And so Amy didn’t miss a beat in her devilish grin when she turned around, her fingers snaking along Andy’s arm in one swift motion, her lips stringing together the exact thing to get the desired reaction.
“You should’ve said yes.” Her words gentle but laced with toxic whispers. Her breath hot as she leaned close to his ears, like she was speaking only for him and his funnel cake.
“Strawberries are an aphrodisiac.” She could’ve made contact with him in that moment, could’ve sealed the deal with a bristling touch of skin on skin that would’ve made him wonder if he had just gotten kissed while also probably soiling his pants. But instead she just let him sit with her words and the way they slithered off her tongue, rolled through her lips, and tickled the centers of his brain that imagined what they could do with an aphrodisiac.
And then she pulled back. No longer whispering to his ear, but taking in the whole image of Andy like an artist observing their latest work.
“This is the part where you feed me your…cake.”Whoa.
Andy went through a rush of emotions, rapid firing through his brain faster than anyone should have ever been subject to. First? Fear. He was a little taken aback by the way it seemed like Amy might hit him (Andy had never been hit, and preferred to keep that streak going), and even recoiled slightly. He drew in breath without even noticing, but as Amy relaxed almost immediately to the sound of his voice, Andy felt the assault of the second emotion... Infatuation. Had it been his presence that had relaxed her so quickly? Maybe he helped her calm down, helped her relax and feel safe. The thought didn’t last long as Andy let out the breath he’d drawn in as Amy leaned into him.
The third emotion rushed through his mind as quickly as the blush rose in his face. The third emotion was
lust, and it reverberated through him with every word she said. Her voice was so… velvety. Was velvety the right word? Jesus, he’d never had a woman this close to him before, and it made his breath hitch and his eyes go wide. He should have smoked more weed before coming here! He listened to her words carefully, and wondered if they could stay in that moment forever. It was good for both of them, wasn’t it? Deep down, Andy might have known that Amy was playing with her food. But at the surface? At the surface, he believed in that moment that he
was special to her. He might have cried if he knew the truth.
When she pulled away, it almost pained him to watch her straighten up. In that moment, Andy very suddenly understood very clearly why his auntie and grandmother both loved strawberries so much. Amy wanted strawberries? Andy would grow them himself. When she was gazing at him, Andy was feeling more on display than he had in his entire life, and he’d performed in packed concert halls for his grandmother’s galas before.
“Can I kiss you?”The final emotion, nervousness, poured over his body.
If Amy had any doubts about her effect on Andy, they were immediately dispelled from his question. It was cute how he asked, cute enough that Amy laughed. It wasn’t the demure laugh of a girl who heard something cute nor was it the painful laugh of a girl mocking someone for daring to speak to them; this was a laugh that, while sounding sweet, was actually quite sinister. Like the rattle of a snake in the grass. Perhaps if his brother were here, Andy would have proper defenses for such a laugh…but here behind the bleachers it was just the two of them. And a funnel cake.
“One taste and you’ll want more, Little Green. Do you think you can handle that addiction.” Somehow, she didn’t phrase it like a question. It was a warning. A warning that no doubt fell on ears more inclined to listen for the word of approval and nothing else.
Amy traced a finger along Andy’s jaw, a gentle, deliberate touch that carved its path to his lips, where she pressed her finger against his lips like she was telling him to keep a secret before the finger traveled across the gap back in front of her own lips. Red. Her lips were red. The kind of lips that brought to mind the image of blood. Of a vampire just before their fangs broke skin. The kind of lips that were now pressed against Andy’s. A tight embrace. Warm. She was kissing him, that much was clear; she was in control of the force, the pressure, the fact that tongue was not involved. This was a heavy kiss but not a deep one; from his end it was an act of lust, on hers it was simply…economical. The kiss ended with Amy pushing Andy away in a playful shove while that damned, devilish grin lingered. There was a slight smearing of her lipstick on Andy’s upper lip and Amy drew the same finger that had touched both their lips around the corner of his mouth, wiping away the blemish of makeup. She wondered if that had been Andy’s first kiss.
She knew it wouldn’t be his last.
“Feed me.”It was most certainly Andy’s first kiss, and his nerves were shot almost immediately as her lips pressed against his. Once she pulled away, Andy felt like he was shaking. Was it visible? Had he ever been this nervous? Even when he fell (jumped) into a tiger pit, he wasn’t this nervous. This girl was the exact kind of girl his mother had warned him about, but Alicia Green was nowhere to be found when he needed her most. Andy was almost willingly going to be Amy’s prey - he’d never had attention like this before, and he found himself liking it.
When she asked him to feed her, there was such a ringing in his ears that he almost had to ask her to repeat herself. Andy knew from experience with this woman though, that was a dangerous move to make. He knew what she wanted, he just needed a moment to breathe and remember what air tasted like. He didn’t know for sure
yet, but he suspected the air tasted worse than Amy did. He looked at the funnel cake and at the woman who had asked — no, commanded. did she know it was rude? — him to feed her the funnel cake and he nodded.
“Can we sit down somewhere?” He looked around. There was nowhere to sit. Was there a reason they were standing in what seemed to be… the bowels high school hell?
“I guess not. I wouldn’t ask you to sit on the dirt.” He was speaking aloud as he looked down at the funnel cake in his hands.
“It doesn’t seem very romantic to feed you while we’re just standing here though…” Andy trailed off and found himself looking down at the plate of funnel cake. He’d never been on a date, and he hardly knew what to expect. But he
did know that this? Wasn’t what he’d expected.
Why did
boys always have to make things so complicated? She had given him the briefest taste of heaven and yet here he was so willing to cast himself out of the pearly gates all because of some silly idea about ‘romance’. Romance was nowhere on Amy’s mind; this wasn’t a date, this was seasoning up her meal before devouring it.
“The cake is getting cold, Little Green.” It was clear in the way she practically spat out the nickname: Amy’s thin patience was holding on by sinews.
Andy wasn’t sure about Amy. How could anyone be sure of someone who talked to them like that? One second, she was going out of her way to make sure that he felt
good, and then the next she was speaking to him like he was trash. Like the self-respectless boy he was, Andy obediently cut some of the funnel cake with a fork and then held it up to her lips. Internally, his feelings debated. Was she really good for him? Was Ethan right? Andy had said he was prepared to figure out the answer to those questions on his own, but he was starting to think he might have accidentally dove into the deep end without learning how to swim.
He felt like a moron.
Things were so much easier when they did as they were told, when they were driven by their smaller head - the one they always claimed to be so much bigger than it was - and nowhere was this more proven than with how Amy’s grin turned into a put-upon smile as the piece of sugar-coated fried batter slid its way down her throat.
“Well, that’s the second sweetest thing I’ve tasted all day.” The annoyance in her tone was gone. Amy sounded genuine, as sincere and sweet as the powdered sugar from the funnel cake; if the goal was to deceive Andy, to assuage his concerns, then she hoped she was doing an adequate job. But then, she was a little too good at slipping between states.
As if she wasn’t clear enough in her subtle flirtations, she tossed the kid a wink.
He may have felt like a moron, but it seemed she ultimately liked what he did. Andy wasn’t sure about this so far, this was a lot scarier than he thought it would be. Amy could hit him, yell at him, run away from him, kiss him, or take him then and there behind the bleachers seemingly at will. The only safe option to take was doing exactly what she said at any given moment. It was less than ideal, but there was something about the way she acted when he made her happy that made Andy keep coming back for more. When she winked at him, Andy felt confident he felt his heart skip a beat. He fed her another bite, but he was quiet, even for Andrew Green. Questions burned on the tip of his tongue, but he knew they were questions that would go unanswered, and questions that were likely to end the ‘good’ moment they were having.
He fed her another bite in silence, and then looked back out at the game, his ears drawn to the distant sound of music and cheers. This wasn’t the first time Andy had been present for a football game, but it was the first time he’d been present for one without Amy leading the cheer squad. Andrew thought about it, and then he decided to address the problem head on, even as a part of his brain screamed about the consequences.
“I liked watching you cheer. You’re good at it. Do you miss it?” Andy carefully chose the words he used when he asked, and made sure he was holding a bite of funnel cake in front of Amy’s red lips to ease the pain. There were two scenarios he could think of: Amy could yell at him. Or, Amy could run away. Somehow, Andy knew already that he wouldn’t get an answer. And yet, that didn’t change the fact that he felt like he
needed to know more about her. Anything more than ‘is hot’ and ‘can be mean.’ Andy wanted, so badly, to be able to defend Amy to everyone who told him she was evil, but if he was honest with himself… she wasn’t making it easy.
Leave it to a boy to ruin a perfectly good funnel cake feeding mood. Amy recoiled at the question, like she was offended to even hear the words leave his mouth, lip twisted upwards in disgust, eyebrows narrowed downwards as blinking eyes glared towards Andy.
“Do I miss it?” The question repeated itself but from lips it sounded like the foulest sentence uttered by humans. Of course she didn’t miss it. What was there to miss? The long hours of practice, having to memorize routine after routine, going home with aches and pains and knowing that if a tumble went wrong then the next trip would be to the hospital? The way people treated her like a princess and showered her with praise and adoration just because she was a head cheerleader? How she could’ve won Prom Queen? How she thought she had friends, sisters and brothers bonded in the sorority of cheer? Laughing together? Sharing memories and comforting one another, gossiping about crushes and doing group projects together? Being able to walk down the halls and have waves and smiles and laughter instead of averted eyes, foul whispers, and hurried steps of avoidance? Going to bed early but staying up late because the group chat was so active and so full of laughter? Of course not. Cheerleading, popularity, it didn’t bring her anything but negativity. Fuck ‘em.
Fuck ‘em.
Fuck ‘em.
Fuck.
“No.”At least he was getting a handle on the way she reacted. Andy had been prepared for the glare and the tone. He was starting to get a handle on Amy, maybe even more than she knew. He couldn’t control
her reactions, but he could control his own. And this time, Andy didn’t immediately shrink away from her when she turned the evil eye onto him. There was a small ember of pride burning in his chest as he stood his ground, even minutes ago he had frozen like a deer in the metaphorical headlights of Amy’s glare. He let her glare at him, but he seemed to be refusing to give her the satisfaction of fear. When she finally gave him a straight answer, Andy nodded.
“I think I would.” He commented, though he wasn’t even sure if he cared.
“I don’t think it’s fair. How everyone treats you, I mean.” He was playing with fire and he could feel it beginning to burn already. There was no way Amy would have a positive reaction to this conversation, Andy knew that. But Andy couldn’t help himself.
“I want to help you find out who did it. Is that okay?” Almost as a peace offering, Andy held out another bite of the funnel cake to Amy’s lips.
“What?” Amy snapped her question at Andy, as if the words he was saying were gibberish. This was a new thing for her, being caught off guard, on the backfoot; she had to take control back, had to steer the car back onto the road before this stupid naive boy stopped making it fun. Who cares who did it? She didn’t. She didn’t at all wonder who would do something or why and she definitely didn’t spend weeks after the nuke went off pouring through her message histories to see if she ever said something to someone that would warrant such a response. Of course, even if she had been a little rude or mean to someone, the response was like taking out an ant with plastic explosives. Amy Kwon certainly, definitely didn’t care about who fucked her life up. Someone doused the bridge with gas and Amy was playing with matches, what did it matter who gave her the fuel?
“Who gives a shit who did it? It’s done. You’re cuter when you’re not talking, Little Green.” Amy was trying to regain footing, to regain control, but her words lacked the edge that they had moments ago. Andy Green, loathe as she was to admit it, had gotten into her head.
“Well… I give a shit.” Andy said, as he realized Amy wasn’t going to eat the funnel cake he was holding out. He flipped the fork and bit the chunk off himself. He chewed thoughtfully, but at first didn’t reply. Andy could tell that the vibes were… different, he wasn’t sure if that was as bad of a thing as he originally thought. Maybe, if he kept it up, she’d be more willing to talk about it. Did she really want him to shut up? He couldn’t tell.
“Sorry.” He apologized, it seemed like the right thing to do. Then, Andy kept talking.
“I just think it’s messed up that happened to you. It’s weird more people aren’t on your side. I won’t try and look into it if you don’t want me to.” Andy offered her another bite of the funnel cake, hopeful the combination of the olive branch of telling her he wouldn’t try and figure it out (that was a lie) and the fried dessert would be enough to cool her jets before she barked at him again.
“You give a shit? Don’t make me laugh, Little Green, before this morning, you didn’t know anything about me. You still don’t.” Amy scoffed as she gave her rebuttal, words spilling out before she could think to catch them and contain them. Control was slipping out of her hands and the tempest that had been swirling inside, in the back of her mind, was close to spilling out. No one had given a shit. Why would they? The striking red of her lipstick might as well have been her own Scarlet Letter with the way people treated her. Innocent until proven guilty wasn’t a thing that existed in the social dystopia that was high school. If tomorrow someone whispered the right lie into the ears of best friends, they would start a civil war. It was only going to get worse and Amy…Amy was a victim that everyone blamed. For what? They didn’t even give her a chance to tell her side, to defend herself, as if they were waiting for any opportunity to cut her down because she dared to get too popular without having to tear others down to do it.
So why, then, should she care about them and their system? Them and their hierarchy? Why should she care what they think of her now when they were so easily able to toss her to the side so someone else could use her broken body as a stepping stool?
And why would anyone care to hear her side of the story now?
“Whatever. This…this was a mistake. Tell your fucker of a brother that I’ll stay away from you.” She needed an out. Andy Green was probing and that wasn’t what this was about. She was in control. She wasn’t broken. She didn’t need to be fixed.
“Do whatever the fuck you want, Andy.”“I’d be… willing to learn a few things about you?” Andy threw a final hail mary, but he felt like the damage was already done. Andy was trying, but Andy had already torpedoed whatever chances he’d had with Amy. Was his father going to be disappointed? Probably. Would Ethan be disappointed? Relieved was probably a more accurate word, but Andy hadn’t been able to help himself. He wanted to be helpful, and Amy’s fall had always felt… wrong to him, especially with how quickly everyone seemed to flip on her. If he had this courage back then, maybe he could have tried to stand up for her before it was too little and far too late.
It felt almost ironic to him that Amy was the one who gave him the courage. A pretty girl being interested did wonders for a boy’s confidence. Andy was rapidly realizing he’d made the interested pretty girl disinterested in him with the greatest of ease. The only good sign was that she hadn’t left yet, but Andy wasn’t sure how to take her telling him to do whatever he wanted. There were so many options, so many different things he could do at that moment. A thousand different scenarios rushed through his head, and they all shared a problem: he wasn’t used to Amy being this… not scary.
In a million years, Andy never would have predicted Amy backing down so… decisively. It was Andy’s turn to try and right the ship, to do something so drastically daring that he was almost sure he was going to get it. As he dropped the funnel cake to the ground, Andy’s mind was made up. He stepped forward, and found old nerves creeping up in the back of his mind. It was easier to squash them this time than it had ever been, as Andy leaned forward to press his lips against hers. Andy’s kiss ended faster than Amy’s had, but if the first had been an act of lust on his end, this one was an attempt to comfort her.
He pulled away and looked at her, a hand having found its way to her chin (Andy didn’t even notice that until he broke the kiss!), and spoke.
“I’ve wanted to do that all night.”The kiss ended before Amy could properly register what had happened, which worked out well for Andy as it saved him from being shoved and possibly slapped in retaliation for a rather bold approach. Instead Amy said nothing for an uncomfortably long time which, when following a kiss, could have been as long as three seconds. What Amy did do was take a step back, causing Andy’s hand to be holding only air. For a brief moment there was a different look in Amy’s eyes. A slight glimmer, a sparkle, a flash of the girl she used to be; it vanished with a blink as Amy’s awareness caught up with her and the lips that Andy had kissed for the second time that night descended into the scowling grin that was so familiar to Andy.
“Clearly your brother got all the talent when it comes to kissing, Little Green.” The snide remark, the venomous tone, the devilish sneer; whatever fragment of the past Amy that almost came bubbling to the surface had once again been drowned.
“And look what you did to my cake.” There was now grass and dirt joining the ingredients of dough and sugar.
“Tuttut.” Amy clicked the roof of her mouth and shook her head, displeasure writ large in her eyes.
“Get me another one and maybe I’ll give you one more chance to impress me.”The star crossed lovers — if you can call them that — were soon interrupted by a loud squeal.
“Who told you already?... wait, waitttttt. THERE’S A VIDEO?! SEVERAL!?????” Minnie in her cheer outfit with sparkly makeup on and her hair in a high ponytail walked to the side of the bleachers where both Amy and Andy could see her, unaware of her surroundings.
“Of course it was Cael. I’mma need to spank that booty of his. How dare. I wanted to tell you myselfffff,” Minnie whined, turning as she talked only to freeze when she saw Amy. Growing silent for a moment that felt a little too long, the tiny dancer apologized to the person on the other line,
“Sorry sissy, I got to go but I’ll video chat you tomorrow. Promise. See you. Love you. Byezzzzz.” Hanging up, Minnie’s gaze focused on one person and one person only. Amy. While she was aware of Ethan’s brother, she was drilled since Freshman year to look at Amy. Amy taught her everything she knew. when it came to cheer and helped her relate it to dance, which was the main language she understood. Minnie took two steps closer but made sure she stayed out of their bubble, knowing this wasn’t a bubble she should pop.
“I… I don’t get to see you anymore Amy and I don’t know when I’ll see you next but I wanted to tell you that I finally landed rewind reload to full up full down… over the summer actually! I wouldn’t have been able to master some of the harder stunts without you and I really really really wanted to tell you that one.” There may not be much in Minnie’s head, and she might not understand the politics of the school, or why some of the cheermates exiled her cheer captain, but there was one thing for certain, Amy was someone she, to this day, still looked up to. She wasn’t completely oblivious. She knew Amy’s nudes and texts were leaked but that to Minnie didn’t speak on Amy’s character. It spoke on whodunnit. The contents didn’t really matter. That was nobody’s business. It wasn’t until Amy started hanging out with Toury and Helen that Minnie got scared to approach her. The Tantalizing Trio were intimidating and Minnie didn’t want to cry because they were mean to her.
Soft eyes, a genuine smile, and hope vibrating from her soul, Minnie looked at her former cheer captain with only respect before the sudden thought came to mind.
“Oh, oh! I got my first boyfriend too. And I think you’d be proud of me! WHICH REMINDS ME.” Minnie swiftly turned on her heels toward the field, playfully glaring at her best friend.
“CAELLLLLLL! You’re NO FUNNN! I wanted to tell sissy myself!” She protested, not really upset but still trying to act the part. With her squirrel brain, she looked back at Amy and eagerly suggested,
“If you wanna’ catch up, I still have your number! I miss you… but it looks like I interrupted something.” Minnie scanned Andy up and down before giggling,
“Candy approved. You’re wayyyyy better than your brother.” As fast as she came at him, just like a wrecking ball, she was running off to pounce on her friend and bite him.
“Bye bye now!”Of all the possible interruptions it had to be Minnie. If ever there was a way for Amy to return to the world of cheer - though at this point that was as likely as a flying pig - it would certainly have been through Minnie. Sure, they didn’t talk much, or at all, since Amy’s Icarus-like fall, but Amy could see it in Minnie’s eyes the day Amy was excised from cheer: a look of apology, like Minnie was sorry this was happening even if she didn’t exactly know why. It was so easy for Amy to assume that the cheer squad would fall apart without her guidance, without her rhythm and teaching methods, without her warming and welcoming personality and how she had a habit of getting angry and strict when it came to perfecting routines but she always made sure to take the squad for ice cream or shopping as a way of apology.
But they weren’t. They were doing fine without her. Better, even. Thriving. Minnie had perfected a move that Amy had been trying to help her with…and Minnie had a boyfriend. What had Amy ever done for Minnie, then? What had she done for any of them that they didn’t need her? No, that they didn’t
want her? Maybe Helen and Toury were right, they were right about so many other things lately. But then why was Amy digging her nails into the palm of her hand and trying to hold back the tears as Minnie bounded away? Why did she want to tell Minnie to wait but couldn’t even open her mouth? Why the fuck did she even come to this stupid game? She could’ve, should’ve, had Andy pick anywhere else. Amy hadn’t been to a home game since the fall…she wasn’t ready after all. The wounds were too fresh.
“I’m leaving. Don’t.” Amy turned her head away from Andy. She refused to show him anything as vulnerable as how she felt in this moment.
As she walked away from him, Andy felt a chill wash over him in spite of the warm Los Angeles air. He was surprised by both the sudden urge he felt to reach out and grab her hand and the very fact that he possessed the will to stop himself from doing so. Every step she took away from him seemed to sting individually and Andy found himself wondering if it was even worth all of this to try and make Amy like him. By the time she was long gone from his sight, Andy was still standing there, frozen by pain he hadn’t known he shared with her. Was it his fault? Had he pushed too hard? Had Minnie’s appearance been too much?
Was Amy mad at him? He didn’t know, and he wanted to ask the question, but she was gone and the idea of texting her seemed… wrong. Andy needed guidance. He wasn’t used to navigating delicate situations like this, and as he walked back to the car he pulled out his phone. Looking down at his family’s names, he first considered calling his father, but wondered if Henry had ever dealt with an emotional woman before. Seconds past, and he decided to skip past both his brother and his father’s name, and tapped on the last one in the ‘Family’ contacts group.
It rang. He wondered what time it was in Japan. It rang a second time. He felt his heart drop for the umpteenth time that night, wondering if his own mother was going to ignore his call. Then, finally, she answered. Before she even had a chance to say hi to him, Andy was speaking — the familiar anxiety had washed back over him.
“Mom? I think I screwed up.”