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I’ve been paying for decades, and it’ll never be enough. You’re right.
Then I'm not the one you need to convince.
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I’ve been paying for decades, and it’ll never be enough. You’re right.
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No one’s aware of my own responsibility more than me… The impossibility of calming a man blind with rage isn’t a task I’m sure I can manage. In fact, I’ll have you know it hurts a lot to try.
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I have nothing else. It sounds pathetic coming from the guy who’s been painted as the killer, I suppose, but as someone who watched it all burn as much as he did, I have as much left of our old life as he does, and an equal amount to mourn.
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Despite the fact that I did nothing… I regret everything. If I were as strong mentally then, as I am now, I could have contained him. But I was a naive, stupid, inexperienced kid.
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To not hate me, at least any more than I hate myself. On the hopeful side, to give Ridge a chance, like others have.
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*Frowns*
Not even showing him to you is sufficient enough to be proof. And I don’t want to give him even an inch. He very easily will try to take a mile.
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I don’t want to fight. And I don’t want to hurt Roland. But circumstances make it hard to believe, I know. The number of people who ever have, I can count on two hands.
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I hate to even call it an alter ego… But that’s the best thing to call it to make you understand. Maelstrom lives in my head, as an inseparable entity.
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Maelstrom. That’s what I’ve been trying to say. To both of you.
*Winces, as though in pain*
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You have to understand… Please understand. Maelstrom is not me. It’s a curse. A curse that’s made everything worse for as long as I’ve had memories.