Attis — Roleplayer Guild

"To be asked to take this plunge, to forgive and forget
And be the better man, to be a better man, to be a better man."

You woke up along a shoreline, the wind whipping through your hair, cool like a summer night’s. The sun was setting, its edge just touching the line of the horizon. To all of your sides except for the ocean there were trees, swaying in the sky against the dark clouds overhead. They were bathed in dark grays and bright oranges, much like the shadows of the water and the reflections the sun cast over them. Contrast. Black and white, all or nothing. 

It had been a long time since you’d gotten to see the beach. It had been so long that the smell of saltwater was entirely unfamiliar to you. But you had to wonder if it was just a dream. Then again, you wouldn’t have remembered being knocked unconscious if it were. Regardless, if you weren’t able to wake up then what was the harm in going for an incredibly realistic, but imaginary swim? 

  You took off your boots, rolled up your jeans and noticed that your leg hadn’t quite repaired itself. The tie around your wound remained fastened there, doing a fairly good job at cutting off bloodflow. At least its sacrifice hadn’t been completely in vain. Giving a sigh, you waded into the water, enjoying the feeling of sand between your toes and the sounds of waves rushing around you. 

It made you recall your last trip to the ocean. You were so little back then. All of the waves seemed so big and when they had tugged on you, it felt like you were going to be pulled in.Yumi wasn’t scared at all though, which, was no surprise. She had always been the braver one and, it was infectious. When she took your hand and told you that she wouldn’t let you drown, absolutely no matter what, you believed her and, Mom had been there right alongside her to confirm she wouldn’t either. 

But Dad, he was far away wasn’t he? He sat away from the shore, still angry that he had to be pulled out of the city away from work. 

As you recalled the memory, a sloshing alerted you that someone was behind you and, as you turned, he was there. His black eyes were dark as ever while he loomed over you, fists clenched at his sides. Your heart started to hammer as he drew near, his face scrunched up in that way that it did when he was angry. He was always so, so tall. Most people were compared to you, but you only felt small when you were around him. Your legs began to shake. This was the start of another fight and you knew it. But with no walls to contain you, it would be easy to run. Because yes, you were small, but you were fast too. 

You’d keep running until he gave up trying to find you. 

You darted to the side, but a pain like you had never felt before shot through your leg. As you stumbled you noticed the tie had vanished and it was once again, your wound was gushing blood with a vengeance. More than seemed possible. Your chest began to tighten and, as best you tried you couldn’t get your body to move. No. No, you can’t stop. You can’t-

The feeling of your hair nearly being ripped out of your scalp knocked the wind out of you and, another hand squeezed at your throat to make sure more wouldn’t get in. As hard as you tried to shake him off you couldn’t and, the sand underneath your feet gave out. Submerged, you felt water fill your throat. Choking you tried to swim away, but his fingers clamped around your forearms like a vice. All you could think was, this was it, he was really going to kill you this time. 

The sky above you started to disappear as you sunk father down, your vision fading. It was if you had gone off a pitfall into a tundra, down into the murky depths of the sea. With only one arm to swim with, you fought for a few seconds before you grew tired and, let yourself sink into the suddenly cold water. It was too real to be a dream. It hurt too much and, you always woke up from nightmares like this by this point. So that was it. You were going to die. 

You’d never get to apologize to your sister for that fight you had the other day or, be able to apologize to your mother for not being a better son. You’d never get to tell her that it was okay that she left and, you didn’t hate her like you said you did the other day. You were always saying such stupid shit. But even if you were an awful, thoughtless person like him, you at least wanted to live to apologize to them and say goodbye. They deserved that much. 

Just as your chest started to ache more than you could bear, something red floated into view. You squinted as hard as you could to see what it was.

… A tie? 

As it floated closer, you recognized it as the one the girl on the train gave you. As it came into view, you noticed that something had been dangling off of the tie clip. It was that stupid little phone charm your sister had tied onto her cell for the longest time. The little reindeer with the red tophat. It was so worn that the paint had all but been completely wiped away from its hat. Alongside it, a necklace on a silver chain dangled. It belonged to you mother; a crystalized four leaf clover with a tiny rabbit charm for good fortune. She was always so superstitious. 

You reached your good arm out to grab the object, your heart beating faster. No. You wouldn’t die. You refused to let him bury you here like this. Whether this was a dream or reality, you resolved to not die. Not when you had somewhere you had to be and, people you needed to live for. You had to get up and fight. 

As if someone had been on the other side of the tie, it pulled you up so quickly it felt as if you were flying. You were lifted up out of the water and onto your feet, stumbling forward through the  water and sand. Nightfall had set in and, without the lights of the city to dilute it, the sky looked as if you were gazing into the cosmos. The lights of stars filled the water with their reflection and, for the first time in a very long time, you felt as if the world was beautiful. Breathing a sigh of relief, you looked down to find your hand empty once again. 

The tie was back on your leg, right where it belonged. The charm and necklace hung from it still, so you took them off the clip and fastened them around your neck, right over your heart. Even if this place was beautiful, you needed to go home. 

You looked behind you, in hopes of finding a path through the woods that might have lead you home. But as you searched, something caught your eye. Soft blue lights cascaded onto the water through the windows of an enormous, historic ship. It’s bright blue triangular sails bowed against the wind, though it remained in place as it was anchored down by an enormous chain. Deciding it would be the best place to ask for directions, you set out for the ship. 

Swimming over to the vessel, you noticed a man standing at the bottom of the boarding ramp. He was dressed in a blue suit that quite frankly, fit his form better than words could describe, so you couldn’t help but stare for a moment. What fabric was that? It had a sheen like silk, but it was more of a matte finish that didn’t look nearly as tacky. Matching stripes ran down the sides of his pants to meet his polished shoes. It wasn't until the man cleared his throat that you decided looked up at him.

“Good afternoon! We’ve been expecting you,” he said, handing you the towel he had previously draped around his arm. You take it, finally looking at the guy’s face. Nice contacts, but the hat had to go. It made him look dorky, and frankly, ruined the five thousand yen haircut he was sporting. He must have noticed the judgemental stare, because he looked off to the side rather quickly. 

“Thanks,” you told him, drying your hair off and combing through it with your fingers. “But that’s a little creepy, I’m not going to lie.”

“Oh! Of course. I suppose it is your first time, so that statement would hazard an incredulous response wouldn't it? Alright. Let me rephrase…”

He paused as if to think. Was this guy for real?  

“Buy me dinner first,” you told him, heading up the ramp. 

“I would gladly accompany you to further test the delicacies of your realm, but, perhaps after you meet my master. And after we have ensured your life is not in peril! Those should be your priorities at the moment.”

  Master? Oh christ. Don’t laugh, he looks serious. 

“It wasn’t a real offer. I just want directions on how to get home, okay?”

“Oh- but of course. I was aware of your jest! And not to worry, we will return you to your home very shortly.”

  You stared at him for a moment, partly because you weren’t sure what to say, but also because you really got a kick out of how it made him uncomfortable. Something about this guy made you feel like the likelihood of this being a hostage situation was, rather low, so you continued onward. He followed reluctantly only after a few seconds, which made you feel just a little bad for picking on him. But either way, he bounced back rather fast. 

“Master, I found him! Something must have intercepted on his way here!”

You looked at the master in question and, wow. God sure cooked up a doozy on that one.

“Yes, yes, Theodore. I’m well aware of the encounter in question. It seems as if our guest has already entered a contract and, from the looks of it, has received a gift as well,” the long nosed man said, jabbing a finger in the direction of your pocket. Your lips formed a hard line as you wondered what exactly he was playing at but, upon inspection you did have something in your pocket after all. You fished it out and held it up to examine it properly.

  … a compass? 

You sighed, looking it over. Just a plain old silver compass. Not fashionable at all. The inside had a funny man with a beaky nose carrying a sack over his shoulder, accompanied by a tiny dog at his heels. You turned it over to its back, observing a very plain zero. Boring.

“Do I sense dissapointment?” the odd old man said, taking a seat at a lone table in the middle of the deck. He gestured to the chair across from him and you figured that if you wanted to get out of there, sitting would be your best bet, so you did. “Don’t be. The gift you have been given is a splendid one indeed. The power of void should not be mistaken as mere emptiness, but also as an inspiring role with endless outcomes. To allow one’s self to become adaptable is key to venturing into paths unknown. Take the sea, for example…”

He gestured to the open waters, drawing your eye to the heavenly mirage of the cosmos being mirrored against the moving glass. 

“… traveling the sea, like most circumstances, can be wild and unpredictable. You cannot control the waves that crash upon you, but you can learn to adapt and to navigate through it. To sink into despair and nothingness is tempting but it seems that you, my dear guest, have chosen to stay afloat and navigate the uncertain waters of destiny.” 

“And that, is our reason for our meeting today. We are here for you, waiting in this space between dream and reality, to help you accomplish that goal.”

He reached out a hand and offered you a key which, you hesitantly accepted. You doubted that your mind could make any of this up so, you chose to play along. If anything, you were certain that this man knew about the things that had been happening lately, so you took the key and decided to keep in contact. 

“And so… I will save the introductions for later. Until we meet again.”

A door appeared at the passenger’s ramp, emitting the same soft light the windows of the great blue ship had.

“Thanks, I guess?” you said, trying not to seem as completely overwhelmed as you felt. It didn’t work at all. Even if the existentialism was over, you knew you were heading for something much more turbulent than talking with two quirky strangers. Swallowing, you opened the door with the matching skeleton key. 

You blearily opened your eyes, pushing yourself to sit upright. Before you could really dwell on what had happened, shouting and crashing snapped your attention up to the events that were swirling all around you. 

You looked up and saw a great, three headed beast breathing fire down against several of your fellow passengers. Its snarls and growls cut through you, causing you to pause for a few seconds while events continued to progress. Several people were screaming, most of them shouting a word you couldn’t make out very properly at first. Persona? Somehow, it seemed so familiar, like it had been dancing on your tongue for years. 

As you glanced around you saw everyone fighting. They had been laying down their lives while you had been so busy fighting the things in your own head. Seeing them like that cut through what hesitations you might have had. You stood on your feet, grabbing hold of your messenger bag and slinging it over your shoulder. It was time to swim.

Dashing forward you heard a choked sob which, gave cause for you to stop. Was someone injured? You skidded to a halt. Looking up, you saw the fashionable guy from before with tears streaking down his face. From what it looked like, he wasn’t actually hurt but-

You knew that sometimes… being scared was worse than being hit. Sometimes feeling powerless, was much, much worse. 

As he cursed, you dug through your bag. Eyeliner, hairspray, lighter- no he said don’t play with fire. Where the hell was it? Right, outer pouch, right where you could get at it. You quickly unzipped the outside of your bag and pulled out the pocket knife you bought a year ago. Thankfully, you had never used it before now. Making sure the blade was closed, you ran towards him and shoved the contained weapon into his hand.   

“We won’t let anything happen to you- no matter what! So just keep trying- even if it seems impossible! Don’t stop until you get the hang of it!”

You left the knife with him and sped off, running as fast as your legs could carry you. Even if your wound had numbed one, you kept pushing forward, stumbling under swaths of fire into the front lines. The compass in your pocket whirred with your every heartbeat. You passed the girl who stood behind a towering, regal woman. Another heartbeat. Past the muscular girl who’s voice boomed through the chaos like fire, another. You slid forward and settled beside Miyoshi, who despite looking so weathered, remained standing. How long had she been fighting like that? 

You took your plain, boring compass and held it with purpose you hadn’t felt in years. Everyone here was going to go home tonight. Even you. It wasn’t a promise or a resolution. It was a fact you believed in. A voice rang in your ears, both like a soft whisper on the wind and the tune of a favorite song.

I am thou, and thou art I. 
To all those who seek to walk forward, to cross through the gates of life and death with absolute certainty
I shall guide you, and protect you on your travels.
For I, am…

“Hermes, rakukaja!”

A bright purple light flashed against the floor underneath Miyoshi, forming a circle before casting what you knew to be a defensive barrier. Even if it was only for a matter of minutes, it would give her an edge. You clutched your compass again, ready to do the same for everyone else. 

So love me mother, and love me father, and love my sister as well.
Attis Member

RISE.

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