What exactly constituted stalking? Do you have to relentlessly follow someone for days? Surely only doing it once didn't count, right? Kusari was thinking of pointless things really, all she had done was search the campus all over for Callan. And here she found her in the same place she'd first spoke to her, sleeping outside by the track once again. Kusari didn't wake her up right away, instead just looking at the girl for a moment. This was definitely stalking now.
She needed a moment, or rather, she wasn't sure if she wanted to speak to Callan after all. But she needed to speak to someone, being alone with her thoughts wasn't helping.
"Callan." Her voice was more tired than she thought it'd be. The girl likely didn't hear her anyhow with her headphones on. Kusari leaned down and lightly shook Callan's shoulder in an attempt to wake her.
Callan's headphones were definitely blaring too loudly for her to hear Kusari's first attempt to get her attention.
You're good at being bad
You're bad at being good
For heaven's sakes go to hell
Knock knock on woodThe music was soft, but the lyrics were more or less clear. Callan had thought herself sneaky, laying down behind the first two sets of bleachers with her hood up and arms crossed. The small shake worked a little too well. Callan's eyes flew open and she began to lurch forward "
M'up!" she exclaimed as if caught in the middle of sleeping when she shouldn't be.
She blinked up at Kusari, the sillouette of her head and shoulders illuminated by the buzzing track lights behind them. Callan pulled down her headphones and sat up a little more slowly, too disoriented to say anything right away.
"Ah, s-sorry." Kusari said.
"Didn't mean to... whatever." She cleared her throat and sat down next to Callan with her legs crossed.
"I uh, wasn't able to sleep yesterday." She stated, her voice sheepish. It was true, she hadn't gotten any sleep since they'd arrived back at the school. The bags under her eyes could have told Callan that on their own.
"I thought I could just get over it but I can't. I actually... I really did die back then." She covered her face with her hands as a jolt of pain went through her chest. She leaned forward, taking a deep breath before straitening herself again and placing her hands on her legs. She'd suffered all sorts of pain recently, but this was more debilitating than any of it. She didn't feel like herself, the more time passed she felt ever more pathetic and weak.
"I saw my own body Callan. I was dead and I don't think all of me came back." She likely wasn't making much sense between her context devoid words and shivering tone, but she hardly knew what to say, she just needed someone to listen.
"
It's fine," Callan muttered, glancing down at the time on her phone. She still wasn't too happy with Kusari, but... she wasn't about to just leave. Not until curfew, anyway. Besides, she really did feel bad about what happened to Kusari. It couldn't have been easy.
Callan pulled herself up towards the bench directly above where Kusari had decided to sit, pausing before she sat down. A look of alarm crossed her face as Kusari continued speaking, rousing her fully from the grogginess her unscheduled nap had resulted in. Was... was Kusari losing her mind? She'd tried to put what happened out of her mind as well, but... evidently with far more success.
"
Kusari," Callan sat beside her instead, "
Look... it... maybe you just..." Words were really failing her. She had no idea how to fix this sort of thing. To make matters worse, she was pretty sure she knew what Kusari wanted. She'd been exruciatingly honest about the way she felt. Meanwhile, Callan couldn't keep herself from uselessly pining over someone else.
She forced a small smile, hugging herself for support before finally deciding on what to say, "
You know... I was really upset when I saw you like that. You really scared me back there." She hesitated for a moment before adding. "
It would've really sucked if you died."
Kusari didn't say anything for a moment, creating an awkward silence. Of course Callan wouldn't believe her, let alone fully understand what she was talking about. Even still, it was true that Callan would have been upset had she stayed dead. But for how long? The world wasn't going to stop on her behalf, many of them had died already and all they could do was move on. She couldn't help but imagine what it would be like if she were gone. People talking about her in the past tense, gradually just... getting over it. She didn't want to become nothing but another bad memory.
"Thank you." Kusari looked Callan in the eyes as she put on a bittersweet smile.
"You're a sweetheart, you know that? I can't think of many reasons to live, but you have to be pretty high on the list." She spoke without thinking again. She quickly realized what she'd said and turned her head.
"Sorry, I uh, didn't mean it that way." She mumbled as she twirled her braid between her fingers.
Callan's face immediately felt warm and she laughed nervously. "
Oh, haha. Well-- y'know," she leaned back on one arm and ruffled the back of her hair, "
I, uh... I seriously just hate seeing you like this, so... i-if I can help, I'd like to... do that...." Her nervous smile softened as she uncertainly added each syllable, ameythst eyes flickering to Kusari's fingers as they twisted around the long white braid. She silently recalled the time when Kusari had accidently sliced the poor thing clean off, idly wishing Kusari herself could recover as easily as her hair seemed able to.
Kusari noticed how fidgety Callan was for a moment, and she believed she knew why. It wasn't as if she were that naive, from her point of view Callan was clearly trying to find the right balance of words between being a good friend and
leading her on. That or the girl was more unaccustomed to someone being interested in her than she thought. Maybe her filter had truly broken down completely finally, or maybe she enjoyed feeling normal around Callan, but Kusari decided to tease her a bit.
"Is that so?" Kusari leaned back to be eye to eye with her.
"What type of help did you have in mind?"If her face had been warm before, it was absolutely flaming now. Callan froze like a deer caught in headlights, the meaning behind Kusari's suggestion sinking in at a rapid pace. Immediately, she felt goosebumps erupt across her skin. "
Th-that's not what I meant!" she hastily clarified, sitting up.
This reaction was more than Kusari had expected, it was just too perfect.
"Pff." She let out a puff of air as she turned her head, trying not to burst into laughter. The dam couldn't hold however, and she found herself holding her gut as she went into a giggling fit.
"Oh man..." She wiped her watering eyes and took a breath to calm down.
"I'm sorry, you're just really cute when you're flustered like that. I think you've been helping me already Callan, more than you know.""
Hmph!" Callan snorted derisevly, giving Kusari a gentle shove in the shoulder with her elbow. A shove which was probably a little more rough than intended.
"
Yeah, right," Callan rolled her eyes-- suddenly a little suspiscious of whether or not Kusari had been lining her up for that joke all along. She held that embarrased scowl for a moment or two before shaking her head. "
Well, I guess it's worth it if it makes you feel better," she reasoned out loud before swiveling around in her seat to face the track. She leaned back on the upper seat behind them, propping her elbows and feet up so that she comfortable sprawled across three seats.
"
What are you doin' out here so late, anyway?"
Kusari nearly toppled over from Callan's shove, was she really not used to her strength yet? At any rate it seemed she was off the hook for now. Now Callan was asking her what she was doing out so late, the same could be asked back couldn't it?
"I can't sleep, and I couldn't stand sitting in my room alone. So I came to find you... Not sure what to do now. Maybe train?"Callan stiffened a little at the suggestion. "
This late at night?" she rose an eyebrow, feeling the weight of the permission slip in her pocket all of a sudden, "
Isn't it almost curfew?"
Kusari couldn't help but touch the cuff around her neck at the mention of a curfew.
"What are they gonna do, shoot me?" She said with bitter derision.
"It should be fine as long as I stay on campus, right? If not I guess I can work out in my room."Callan eyed the collar quietly, recalling what they'd told her back on the island. She didn't like how much it reminded her of Hazel, but it wasn't her place to say it wasn't at all necessary.
She resolved not to say anything about Kusari coming to find her-- though it did make her remember the last time she'd discovered her sleeping on the bleachers. It seemed so ridiculously long ago....
"
Absolutely not," Callan shook her head and stood up, slinging her bag over one shoulder and holding one hand out for Kusari. "
You just said you didn't get any sleep the other night. The last thing you should be doing right now is training." Ulterior motives aside, Callan did feel that Kusari was in no shape to push herself. "I'll walk you home and we can hang out a bit if you think that'll help. Curfew's not until 11, so we got time."
She smirked, "
Don't think I've forgotten about that list of shows I gave you." She mentally kicked herself for making such an offer, but she'd already made up her mind. She and Kusari were... very different. But she was willing to let it go for now. Just for now.
"Ah, Callamom has arrived." Kusari joked, taking Callan's hand and standing to her feet. She wasn't exactly dead set on working out so she had no reason to fight her on this.
"That sounds nice actually." She said, not mentioning that Callan would be alone with her in her room. Perhaps at another time she would think something of it, but she'd given up on Callan already. At least that's what she kept telling herself.
"
Oh, no. Terrible pick for team mom," she scoffed as they began walking, "
If anything, that'd probably be...." Her mind drifted to Angelique for some bizarre reason. She hadn't spoken with her very much, but she'd always noticed how friendly and outgoing she was.
"I just wanted to know if you were alright."She could so clearly remember Angelque's voice-- even with the number of times she'd ever heard it directed towards herself being so few.
"I'm glad you are okay." she'd said back at the hospital in La Plata,
"If you need anything, or want to talk, my room's just across. Have a good night, Callan."Callan almost didn't notice that she'd been quite for a second too long. "
Well, anyone other than me, really," she finished with a short laugh.
Kusari didn't notice the lull in conversation, her mind was busy wondering if her room was clean or not. She could remember the path from the door to her bed, that was about it. That was probably a bad sign.
Oh well. She decided to face whatever state her room would be in as her and Callan arrived.
"Honestly, Zhang is team mom. If only Child Protective Services could help us... No more wire hangers mom, I swear." Kusari was tired.
Arriving at her room, she opened the door with mild apprehension, only to let out a relieved sigh. How could her room be messy when she hardly owned anything in the first place? She walked over to her bed and flopped down onto her back.
"Alright, so what are we watching?" "
Heh," Callan chuckled half-heartedly, still not quite used to Kusari's more morbid sense of humor. When nothing else came up after that, Callan let the conversation idle until they reached her dorm. Kusari's room was... depressingly empty. She eyed the two empty beds, remembering Sander and Christmas had moved out before they left for the Wisford mission. She opted not to comment on that... even if it would give Kusari a chance to explain herself.
"
Aw, what?" Callan flipped the light on and inspected the TV in the living room. "
You haven't upgraded your TV," she frowned, unsure of why she assumed that would be anyone's first priority. "
I don't have my stuff so we can watch Netflix on here without a smart TV," she mused, "
But, uh... that's alright. We can just use my tablet."
Would that be okay?Callan pulled it from her her bag and hesitated, glancing between the couch and the bed that Kusari was lying on. "
Uhm...." She tried not to overthink it. Probably unwise, all things considered. Callan made her way over to the bed, seating herself on the further edge as she began scrolling through the different shows.
Kusari sat up and looked at her television. Now that she thought about it she'd never even really used it. There was always something else distracting her. She looked over to Callan as she searched for something to watch.
"I don't have eagle eyes you know." She said, noticing how far the girl was sitting on the bed.
A figurative red devil appeared on her left shoulder.
This is your chance to get closer to her! The devil screamed into her head. Kusari let out a fake cough and shook her head. She couldn't risk her friendship with Callan like that, as far as she knew it would be impossible anyhow. But how should she play this?
A figurative angel clad in white floated down onto her right shoulder.
Do it. Her conscious was completely compromised. Kusari bit her bottom lip as her face took on a menacing glare. Again, this was sadly her embarrassed face. Thankfully Callan's eyes were on her tablet, giving her enough time to calm down.
"
Sorry, I was just, uh..." Callan hurried up her search, landing on a show that she thought Kusari might enjoy. She scooted a bit closer, obviously reluctant to get
too comfortable. "
Here," she leaned over, reaching across Kusari's legs to prop the tablet up against the bedframe before hitting play.
Kusari's right eye twitched as Callan reached across her legs. Had she always been this easy to rile up? Perhaps being tired did it, or the fact that they were so close together on her bed. Regardless, she felt good being with someone, away from her thoughts that crawled up in her solitude.
The first episode started up, but Callan remained where she sat for the first several minutes. Her attention quickly became glued to the screen after that, every so often noticing Kusari out of the corner of her eye. Though she was really just interested in knowing whether or not she liked it. A mostly chill action comedy with a good deal of the darker sort of humor Kusari seemed to enjoy. Eventually, she found herself more engrossed in the show than she thought she might be. It'd been a while since she seen it.
"
Scooch over," Callan whispered, still watching the screen. It was clear she wanted to lay down.
"Huh? oh, sure." Kusari was thoroughly invested into the show Callan had picked, to the point that she almost forgot that she was right next to her. Almost anyway.
"This is a pretty good show, I'm glad because I was prepared to rip it apart otherwise." Kusari said as she gave Callan room to lay down. As they continued to watch she suddenly found her eyes becoming glossy. She wished she could have met Callan in better circumstances. The looming threat of death would forever be above Callan and everyone else. It just wasn't fair.
She rubbed her eyes and focused back on the tablet. At least she could have moments like this.
"
You? A harsh critic? No way!" Callan teased, settling into a more comfortable position. Once again, exhaustion prooved to be the best cure for expelling cares. Her nerves, which always seemed to be at least a little on edge around Kusari, managed to settle enough for her relax. Mostly.
It was a great way to kill the time and definitely took her mind off what she planned on doing later. Captivating as the show was, however, Callan couldn't help but start nodding off a few more minutes in. The room was dark, the bed was warm, and she'd done a right awful job of trying to physically prepare for her impending all-nighter. She put up a hell of a fight though. Eye lids drooping, her head bobbed precariously for a moment before she finally buried her face in her arms and fell asleep.
Kusari only noticed Callan had fallen asleep once an episode of the show ended and she turned to look at her. This wasn't okay for a number of reasons. Kusari picked up the tablet and after fumbling with it for a few moments was able to put it into sleep mode. She turned back to Callan and hesitated for a moment. Her hand was above the girl's head, she was tempted to do... something, but she knew better than that. She moved her hand to the girl's shoulder and lightly shook her.
"You weren't planning on sleeping over I'm guessing.""
Wuh?" only half-roused from her sleep, Callan didn't even bother opening her eyes. "
What time is it?" she asked, her voice muffled by the sleeve of her hoodie.
"Late." Kusari simply said.
"You have somewhere you need to be? You aren't gonna come back covered in blood again are you?""
No," Callan grumbled, sitting up just enough to reach for her phone, "
Jus' gotta leave before the-- CURFEW!" Seeing the time on her phone, Callan sat up quickly, scrambling to get off the bed and gathering up her things.
"Oh, alright." Kusari grabbed Callan's tablet and handed it to her.
"Thanks for... You know."Callan took the tablet and slid it into her bag, pausing once she finally zipped it back up. She smiled sincerely, "
You're welcome. Sorry for the uh... for falling asleep. But hopefully you can get some rest now, too."
Callan threw the bag over her shoulder and moved to leave. "
You might be invincible, but you still need to take care of yourself, you know. Anyway, I'll see you around, Kusari."