Critic Ham

ArcRift

Jess Tauri

Location - Some dirty alleyway inhabited by thugs. Joy.
Mood - Too old for this shit.
Status - Fine as a horse with cancer.

---

Jess sipped his morning coffee as he surveyed the alleyway he found himself in. The stench of waste and bodily fluids burnt his nostrils just by standing by the alley. Rubbish littered the ground with the occasional rodent dragging rotten food off into the darkness. Shouts of people and the screaming of backed-up vehicles echoed in the background. Jess glanced up to see towering buildings into the cloudy, dark sky. He took another sip of coffee and smacked his lips.

He had not expected to be randomly teleported to a dirty alleyway this morning, but he’ll roll with it. Must be some inopportune Lucidity moment that transported him from the frontier inn he was lodging into some major city he hadn’t heard of yet. At least it wasn’t raining from the ground this time. Always got his clothes wet.

The former outlaw kicked a discarded can down the alley. His only complaint was why this passage hadn’t been greened up yet. What was this, some underdeveloped state?

But he rolled his shoulders and picked out a garbage dumpster for scavenging. There had to be something worth selling if people just dumped their litter all over the place. Only thing he’d need to worry about were Watchmen patrolling about the place. Lowest on the police rung they may be, but they were as vicious and zealous in their enforcement of the law as any other officer. Jess didn’t need to be subjected to another song about the health risks of dumpster diving alongside being slapped with a hefty fine.

So Jess strode over to the dumpster. His ears perked up and sourcing the background noise for any approaching footsteps. And not even five steps did he hear mocking laughter and stomping footfalls. Jess rolled his eyes. He could already tell who these idiots were. Local thugs thinking themselves hot shit.

His assumption was confirmed when a trio of men emerged from the darkness of the alleyway. Each one wore scuffed up shirts and baggy pants. The weapons they brandished were dull knives, a spiked ball, and a rusty crowbar. The one upfront held a wide grin plastered on his face. He examined Jess in a predatory fashion.

“What do we have here, some fucking cowboy?” He outstretched his arms as if to mockingly embrace Jess.

All Jess did was stare at the idiots in response. The other two thugs flanked him on both of his sides. His hand twitched towards the kukri hidden under his coat. Jess took a breath to steady his nerves. Not yet.

“Ya think you’re some tough-” The leader of the thugs made the mistake of stepping too close to Jess. The former outlaw thrusted his knee straight into the leader thug’s groin, but before the thug or his cronies could react or even scream, Jess whipped out his kukri and pressed it against the thug’s neck. The metal gleamed from the waves of sweat rolling down the leader’s neck. Jess heaved the thug off the ground and brought the idiot up to his deadpan, bored face.

“Listen ‘ere partner. Murder’s a messy bussinus and I ain’t keen on getting in trouble with the law of the land. So I’m gonna break yer bones.” Jess said before a wet and sickening crack echoed throughout the alleyway. Blood dripped from the handle of the kukri as Jess tossed the unconscious thug onto the ground like the piece of litter he was.

A yell from his left grabbed his attention. He whipped about, catching the rusted crowbar swinging down onto his head. Jess tilted his head to a side, giving the thug that attacked him a questioning look. The thug heaved with all of his strength to rip free his crowbar whilst Jess kept his kukri pointed at the other, trembling thug. A few moments of this standoff past before the trembling thug took the opportunity to run for his life and out of the alleyway.

Jess quirked an eyebrow and cracked a smile. His head slowly turned to the last remaining thug.

“How quickly the tide turns.”

“Was that a fucking-” The thug didn’t finish when Jess knocked the thug out with his kukri as he did with the leader. He released his grip and the man collapsed into a heap.

The former outlaw flicked the blood off of the handle of the kukri and sheathed it back under his coat. He strode over to the still unconscious leader of the thug and crouched over the body. His hands padded the thug down, feeling for any wallets or valuables. All the while Jess hummed a little tune, content in his own little world. After all, if he still got into trouble with the local law then he could pull a few strings or cash in a favor to get himself released.

How unfortunate that he didn’t know he was no longer in his own world.

@Open for interaction, just beware of Jess's trigger-finger

ArcRift

“Do you know the worst kind of person? The extremist that believes themselves to be good yet brings only ruin.”

Face Claim/Appearance:


Name:
“Jess Tauri’s the name, partner.”

Age:
“Lived and breathed through a hundred-twenty years of revolts, civil war, gov crack-downs, and genocidal maniacs. Quite an eventful life, ain’t it?”

Gender:
“I respect most folk’s choice of pronouns and I expect the same for my own male pronouns. Call me anything else and you’re getting a boot to the groin to remind ya that God made it sensitive for all folk, regardless of what they identify as.”

Canon:
OC

Main Thread or Sandbox:
Sandbox

Starting Location (SANDBOX ONLY):
“Woke up in sum dirty alley with thugs at my throat. Joy.” Gotham City.

Personality:
“Jess Tauri, a tired man who simply wants a quiet, simple life yet through bad luck or ordained fate, keeps finding himself tossed into troublesome events and peoples. He holds little idealism or faith for such things will not put food in his belly and a blanket to keep him warm. As such, he is of a pragmatic nature who is willing to claim unowned valuables without regard and undertaking wetwork so long as it isn’t illegal or morally dubious. Even in combat such pragmatism shows, for he is willing to use any and all methods and weapons to incapacitate, wound, and kill his foes before looting their valuables off of them. Though it is rare for him to needlessly engage in conflict. After all, he wouldn’t have survived for over a century if he was a fool.

Yet he retains a fair and steady hand in his dealings, returning respect and courtesy in equal measure. Jess even has a soft spot for children, especially orphans as he lost his parents in his later teenage years and often takes up a fatherly or mentor aura, educating them in basic skills or helping them cope with stress.”

Equipment:
“Jess Tauri seemingly has an endless assortment of equipment at his disposal, either plucked from corpses of fellow Contractors or brought from the black market, Jess has the right tool for the right job. His most notable, however, are:
Universal Translator: A worn and dulled necklace that helps translate what exactly Jess is saying. Otherwise, what he’ll say will come out as garbled and staticy.

Civilian-Grade Energy Shield: A common energy shield that can soak up damage from most attacks regardless of what they are. However, it cannot prevent the force of said attacks from causing pain nor stop internal trauma from being thrashed about and it can only take a few hits before its batteries need to be replaced.

Armored Jacket and Hazard Mask: A jacket weaved with underlying armor that can withstand small arms and protects Jess from the elements. He follows this up with a mask that further protects him from airborne hazards such as toxins or gas, though both require regular maintenance. Nonetheless, Jess considers this the absolute minimum when going beyond safe areas.

Arseripper: A shotgun humorously named by soldiers for its sheer stopping power. The Arseripper is designed to use most types of pellets and shells, but its most optimized for a single-powerful shot that can tear through unprotected flesh and melt uninsulated metal.

One-Last-Shot: A six-chambered revolver morbidly named for it being the most common last resort weapon among the armies of the Confederacy of Sovereign States. Despite its name-shake and not possessing the same stopping power as the Arseripper, this revolver is powerful in its own right due to its being a miniaturized railgun. Just beware of the kickback so you don’t get pistol-whipped in the face.

Heat-Kukri: A curved machete with integrated heating technology. It is composed of a tough material that is seemingly unbreakable, though it still requires regular sharpening to prevent dullness.

Tools, Knickknacks, and Grenades: Jess has collected and continues to collect various tools, knicknacks, and grenades so he does not get caught without the right tool or explosive for the time. At current time, he’s carrying around a handful of lockpicks, rations, a first-aid kit, a lighter, a journal with a pencil, and several flash-bangs.

PDA: A device with a cracked screen that permits Jess to electronically store information, documents, and other data such as maps. It even comes with auto-mapping! Though it only contains so much memory.


Attributes:
“Mattered-Tulpa: Jess and his kind appear human, certainly, but they aren’t ‘true’ humans for they are thought-constructs which have loosely bound matter to give them form. This has its advantages, but its disadvantages as well...

-Meaning-Projection: Jess is capable of understanding the meaning and intent behind verbal language regardless of how it is structured or conveyed, but this ability does not extend to the written word and he cannot be understood well without the aid of a specialized device. Magic or other arcane methods may provide a stop-gap measure, but they’re bound to fail rather quickly.

-Strengthened Immunity: Jess and others of his kind have a unique structure and immune response that provides greater resilience against disease, toxins, chemicals, and other such hazards. Even magical-based hazards are reduced in effectiveness. However, this is not true immunity and a potent enough toxin or venom can actually cause Jess’s immune response to overreact causing intense damage. Furthermore, medicine or healing-based magic has a tendency to fail unless it has been specialized to treating members of Jess’s kind.

-Depressant-Insensitivity, Stimulant-Sensitivity: An odd quirk of evolution as a result of the monsters that lurk in Jess’s home world, but he has reduced sensitivity to depressants so he’s less affected by things that would slower him or make him sluggish. On the downside, however, painkillers are ineffective unless one gives an entire bottle. Amusingly, he’s much more sensitive to stimulants which would increase his alertness and brain-processing speed so even a sip of coffee can give him a morning jolt. Of course too much can be downright lethal or at the very least crippling.

Mind-Sealing: Yet another quirk because of the monsters. The brain of Jess can recognize mind-controlling or subtle influences upon his brain and react, though not in the most optimal way. Instead of resisting, the brain will short-circuit itself to knock Jess out-cold which nonetheless leaves Jess vulnerable. No one knows why it does this, it just happens. Evolution at its finest, perhaps.

-Ichor: A unique energy that surrounds and binds Jess’s form. Normally it would begin dissipating when outside of its homeworld which would kill Jess, but something has prevented this, allowing its general effects such as a general boost to all normal attributes and converting all ingested biomatter into energy so Jess does not expel waste in the normal way humans do.

-Healing Factor: Jess has an increased healing factor like most members of his kind. He can regenerate lost limbs and even recover from severe brain damage if stabilized quickly enough. However, it would take months to years to truly heal and because of the nutrients required, he has to have a constant intake of food lest the regenerated tissue ends up cancerous, mutated, or worse.

A Century of Suffering: Jess Tauri has suffered through rebellions, been on both sides of the law, grieved through the death of his younger sister and her wife, and dealt with his mentally unstable niece. Combine all of this with the monsters that lurk in his homeland, his mental fortitude is second to none. It would take much to break him and even then, he’s likely to recover faster than any healthy person.

Both Sides of the Law: Jess has spent time as a smuggler and gang leader in the criminal underworld and as a sheriff and part-time lawyer when forced to work for the law. He knows how both sides work and though he’s been thrown out of his normal element, there are bound to be commonalities regardless of where he is, and he will leverage whatever he can in his dealings with both sides of the law when he can.

Combat Skills: Jess has not lived for a century without having some fighting experience under his belt. He has fashioned various fighting skills into his own style and is able to handle most combat situations with a cool head. Furthermore, he’s capable of handling most normal weapons or learn human-oriented combat styles without issue.

A Collection of Skills: Jess has learned many a skill over the years from organization to medicine. Granted, he’s no polymath, but he’s good enough to either solve basic issues or provide a stop-gap measure. However, more specialized or higher-learning skills are out of his grasp.

Amoral: Well, it’s not that Jess lacks morals, it’s just that his morals are rather flexible depending on the circumstance. But he makes no excuses for what he’s willing to do. This has the benefit of allowing him to live with himself most of the time. His allies and friends… might not appreciate this view.

Stable Disease: Jess is currently suffering from a disease known as ‘Tainted Ichor’ that is slowly destabilizing his form and severely affected regions appear as glitched or blackened skin.. It is, however, kept in a stable state, but it will still flare up which can cause Jess severe pain. This happens randomly and can even knock him out if it becomes bad enough.

Biography: Jess Tauri was born in a confederation called the Confederacy of Sovereign States and lived through the Socialist Revolts, a period of rebellions brought on by poor working conditions and the growing influence of the enslavement of xenos. He lost both of his parents during this time in which he was forced to smuggle goods of all kinds to ensure he and his sister did not starve.

Jess would later start a gang with his fellow orphans to provide further protection, a point of contention with his sister, but after the New Social Contract and the ending of the War of Succession, caused by the banning of slavery, the central government began to crack down on the criminal elements and Jess was arrests. However, he was offered a full pardon in exchange for using his knowledge of the underworld and to lure out his connections. He took it for it was that or to be hanged with a ‘Necktie’.

And so Jess worked for the law for the next decade or so, gaining experience on how to deal with criminal elements in a new age of legal and criminal reform. He would meet former members of his gang who had split off to form their own and either arrested them, convinced them to turn themselves in, or if need be, put them down.

Jess would eventually be released from legal work and drift about, occasionally dropping by to meet up with his sister and a new wife. His relationship with his sister, however, was strained because of growing differences in how they viewed the world and the work they did. Jess became a Contractor, slang term for independent mercenaries that took on various jobs, whilst his sister worked directly under the central government as a scientist working on a classified project.

Decades later and Jess would learn that his sister had two nieces, both vat-grown from the cells of anonymous donors. He attempted to visit them after they were released, but was denied by the central government, citing his criminal past. Such a thing confused Jess. He served the gov, didn’t he? But his sister managed to inform him of why his nieces were vat-grown. They had been selected for a project that would grant them certain… abilities and a resistance towards what the monsters did after capturing their victims. The two were placed under the sister’s and her wife’s care to ensure the two grew up in a normal upbringing whilst several others were placed in other conditions.

Jess was disgusted, so much so that his already strained relationship with his sister broke and he disappeared off into the frontier regions. He would still communicate with his sister and nieces from time to time through letters and gifts, but he could not bear to face his sister. Not after taking part of what he considered an inhumane experiment. However, as luck or fate would have it, something happened which converted one niece whilst both his sister and her wife disappeared.

Shortly after, his home country was beset by the monsters led by none other than the converted niece whilst the surviving one was missing. An entire year went by as he looked for her as the military stomped out the monsters wherever they were. An entire year of fruitless searches and endless asking, but he gained a lead. An old friend reached out to him claiming that the surviving niece was welcomed into an old library maintained by a kindly old person.

The meeting that followed was… tense to say the least. The niece, Sun Tauri, was barely nine years old when the two finally met. Sun insulted him, claiming that he never cared and that she was better off with the kindly old person. Yet through insulted effort and help from the old person, Sun was eventually convinced to be adopted by Jess.

And not moments after did the central government approach Sun to offer her training to eventually become a part of a unit specialized in combating the monsters her sister was converted into. Jess protested, claiming that she was much too young. Yet the gov countered that the monster threat had mutated into something greater, far more organized, and growing in strength. There could be no more half-measures, no more relaxed days, not when the monsters were tearing down the gates. However, they did concede that Jess would have custody over Sun till she was twenty years old.

Since then he has dreaded her twentieth birthday. But he had remained steadfast in his sour support for Sun’s decision. However, some time after her twentieth birthday and her leaving to be formally inducted into the military, Jess suddenly finds himself in another world...

Other:

-Jess stands at a height of 7’11”. Yes this is a joke.

ArcRift

The Doom Slayer

Location - Some place that isn't hell
Mood - ...
Status - ...

---

Sudden weakness was not something I was used to. Losing feeling throughout my entire body did not panic me, however, as I plunged my hands into the head of a snarling Imp and cracked open its skull. I dropped the mangled corpse to the ground made up of gore, blood, and brimestone before turning to survey the carnage before me. Countless demonic corpses lay strewn and I cracked a smile knowing that humanity had to deal with fewer demons despite the growing weakness. It was concerning how rapidly it spread, but I stood tall even as I blacked out.

But I did not awake to demons clawing at my face nor the licking flames of Hell, but instead a… empty room. I leapt to my feet, eyes scanning the new environment for any threats. It quickly became apparent this was not an actual room, but some glass box. My hands balled into fists and I shifted into a boxing stance. My eyes did linger on the other… people that were seemingly as confused as I was. Some human, others not such as an adorable bipedal goat in a green cloth of some kind. Not as adorable as Daisy, but cute nonetheless.

I pushed that out of my mind when a woman spoke from above me. There, on top of a platform was a sharply-dressed woman who claimed a Mister Luthor would call us to see him shortly. I cracked my neck. Whomever this person was would answer for dragging me from demon killing. The slaves of Doom were unceasing in their conquest of worlds and few had the actual strength to oppose them. Others… others were too scared, wicked, or weak to fight against them. So I would have this Luthor send me back, either by his own will or by my forceful hands.

However, some motor-mouth with a bat flapped his mouth and barely a few seconds into his rant, screamed in pain and collapsed onto the ground in a twitching heap. I simply shrugged my shoulders. Was it really a surprise someone would implant something to ensure compliance? Granted, I wasn’t expecting it and it did complicated things, but my goal remained the same.

Afterwards, though, the lady remarked how we shouldn’t threaten them before walking away. I grunted in annoyance. Whatever caused the motor-mouth to spaz out needed to be removed. A pop-up notification that appeared in my HUD informed me Vega was already running a diagnostic scan to find and scrub any malware or viruses in my suit. It would take time, however, so I was stuck here unable to really do anything.

So instead of punching my way through and ending up like motor-mouth, I instead had Vega play some cheery music as I began to dance.



Daisy the bunny also popped her head out of the pouch she somehow manage to stuff herself in and glanced around in confusion at her new environment.

Local Pundit makes Terrible Puns and Ruins Everything

Welcome to the guild, @Critic Ham. Something tells me the status bar would love your punny jokes.

Just don't tell them I sent you

@Kuro

I'll be sure to tell them then. :p

And I certainly lower the bar on how bad the puns are.

ArcRift

Stares menacingly

Face Claim/Appearance:


Titles:
"The Forces of Doom utter the title of Doom Slayer in fearful reverence. Others simply refer to him as the Doom Marie. But the name he seems most responsive too? Doomguy.

Age:
"It is unknown of the exact length of time the Doom Slayer has lived, but ancient tablets found within Hell claim he has fought against them for eons. Perhaps an overexaggeration, given the Slayer's rather mundane appearance yet one worth of consideration.

Gender:
Male

Canon:
Doom Franchise

Main Thread or Sandbox:
Main Thread

Starting Location (SANDBOX ONLY): Gotham City if he ever enters the sandbox

Personality:
"The Doom Slayer speaks only in brutality and violence, never stopping and never yielding in his crusade against the slaves of Doom. Such was it the armies of Hell began to revere him as the Great Slayer for not even their champion, the Titan, could best him in battle. Not even corrupting influence and dark offers could give him pause. Yet so singular was his determination in the extermination of Demonkind he was lured into a trap and entombed where he lay in silent suffering.

Eons have past since then. His eternal torment have reduced much of his memories to nothing more than tatters and though he has regained some sense of normalcy since his awakening, those earliest memories have long since faded. Yet he still remembers fondly of his pet bunny, Daisy who has somehow been revived. It brings him some comfort, knowing his bunny is alive and well now. Surprisingly this fondness is not limited to his own bunny, but extends to that of innocents children or small, fluffy animals. He is... less gentle with adults, but nonetheless treats them with the absolute minimal amount of violence he can muster."

Motivation:
"For one so brutal and violent, his desire is a rather simple one. To exterminate all of Demonkind. Simple, but its execution has proven to be a long and tenuous one. After all, the slaves of Doom are seemingly without end.

Equipment:
"The Doom Slayer has acquired many tools of destruction in his crusade, from the simple energy pistol to heavy-duty machine guns and porotype plasma rifles. His most notable, however, are as follows:

The Praetor Suit(Modified): A suit personally modified by the Doom Slayer after his original was infected with a virus. Nonetheless, this newer one not only retains its nigh-indestructible armor and power-enhancement, but now inlcudes a retraceable blade, jump boots for higher height when jumping, and a shoulder-mounted grenade launcher. However, the Doom Marine is still mortal and can be harmed through repeated attacks or through weak-points in the armor.

The Super-Shotgun: A double-barrel shotgun that some morbid creative modified with a meat-hook. It retains its deadly firepower, but now has the added benefit of dragging its poor victims to its wielder, or if the victim is too large, then the wielder to the victim.

The BFG 9-000: A weapon of glorious destruction. Though limited in rounds and requiring a charge-up time, it does not detract from the sheer carnage it leaves in its wake. Those directly in its path are vaporized most of the time whilst those within its searing range suffer burns and are weakened. Proper protection may reduce the wounds, but the ways to negate its power are few. However, it does not discriminate between friend and foe thus the Doom Marine is unlikely to use it when friendlies or innocents are in its path.

VEGA: An A.I. operating within the Doom Marine's suit. He is capable of analyzing, storing, and retrieving data and information at lighting-speed in order to formulate plans and offer advice on how to attack enemies. Furthermore, he may be able to hack into local grids and cyberspace for any number of reasons. Unfortunately his processing power is limited as he must run off the suit's own power and there are few devices that can permit him to ultize his greater functions.

The Crucible: A blade of Argent energy, capable of cutting down even the largest and toughest of foes. Yet it can only contain so much power before it is depleted and forced to recharge. And the larger the foe, the more energy is consumed to put them down.

Daisy the Bunny: A simple creature belonging to the Leporidae family. Though cute and fluffy, it is utterly useless. The greater threat is the Doom Marine who will rip and tear any fool who dares try to bring harm to this creature. Or at least that's what it appears. In truth, Daisy is a descendant of the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog, a vicious and powerful rabbit capable of killing man and demon alike.

Power-ups: Unusual orbs lay in the world of which seemingly only the Doom Marine sees. When he acquires these orbs, he gains a power, be it increased damage, speed, temporary invincibility or partial invisilbity. His most dreaded, however, is the Berserk in which the Doomguy gains increased strength and speed where he can tear even the mightest foes apart. However, such power-ups only last for a short time and are rare to come across making them situational abilities best used in desperate sitations.

Attributes:
"The Doom Marine is still mortal, but one that has been trained, tried, and tested in the depths of Hell itself. He has been further empowered by strange machines, granting him unimaginable strength and speed.

Superhuman: The Doom Marine has increíble speed, allowing him to outrun any normal mortal and keep up with the forces of Hell. His strength is seemingly unrivaled which has permitted him to tear arms from their sockets and rip apart entire heads. Even his skin seemed toughened, capable of withstanding sharpened claws of demonic origin.

Intelligent: Doomguy is rather smart despite his violent nature. He has proven capable of handling any weapon, even those seemingly unfamiliar to him, and is quite the avid reader. He has proven able to restore and maintain an A.I. as well as pirating games from several civilizations. Genius he may not be, but great is the fool that denies the expanse of his intelligence.

Combat Skills: The Doom Marine was once a soldier of a long-forgotten military and not only does he retain his military training, but countless skills relating to combat either gained from civilizations he defended against Demonkind or created in his eons of bloodletting. To say he a simple-minded brute who simply bashes things is false. He is a brute who gracefully bashes things!

Incorruptible: Every offer of dark temptation, every demon whispering corruption into his ear, even the granting of Lordship. These are, but a few attempts to turn the Doom Slayer to Hell's cause. All have failed. So utterly steadfast in his convictions, the Doom Marine will rebuke any and all attempts to corrupt or brainwash him. Yet his single-minded determination leaves little room for nuance and foresight which was the cause of being lured into a trap by the Priests of Hell.

Lacking in Social Grace: The Doom Marine, to put it simply, does not have any nuance nor subtlety whatsoever. Eons of fighting in Hell has simply stripped away any niceties within him and thus his interactions with non-demons are reduced to mere menacing silence and simple gestures on what he desires.

Biography:
"The Doom Slayer was once a simple marine in a military of a distant world, fighting for an unknown cause. However, he would be sent to one of the UAC's Mars bases after he beat his officer after said officer ordered him to fire upon a group of protesting civilians. It was here that a portal experiment gone wrong tore open a gateway to Hell. Most of the staff and guard died in the ensuing chaos, but the man that would become the Doom Marine fought through the Demons straight into Hell and slew the Spider Mastermind.

However, it was not yet over. The Demons would invade Earth, killing many humans and animals which included the bunny Daisy. Such cruelty drove the Doom Slayer into a killing frenzy as he rescued survivors and assisted in the evacuation efforts. He would finally shut close the Hell portal in his own hometown. But alas, the so called Demon Mother began reviving demons on the old Mars base which prompted a return. Once again he fought through Demons till he reached the Demon Mother and slew her like the rest. But he choose to remain in Hell instead of returning home. And thus eons passed.

The Demons began to revere the Doom Slayer as one of mercliess might yet resented him for dethroning them. Eventually, the denizens of Hell began to retreat deeper and deeper into the depths as the Slayer's mind deteriorated. But a twist of fate would have the Doom Slayer arrive upon the homeworld of the Night Sentinels which would put into motion their downfall. For the Night Sentients served entities known as 'Makyrs' which discovered Hell and in exchange for power and knowledge, helped Demonkind invade and convert many worlds.

However, the Doom Slayer, with a mind recovered, would become the King of the Night Sentinels, leading countless crusades and wars against the armies of Doom. One day, he and those loyal to him would discover the deal made between the Makyrs which led to a civil war that ruined the Sentinels. And the Doom Slayer would eventually fall victim to a trap which finally entombed him in silent suffering.

But ages would pass, the seal would be broken, and the Slayer unleashed in a besieged Mars facility of the UAC. He fought against the Demons, killing the Spider Mastermind once more, and returned to the Fortress of Doom. Not long after, however, the forces of Hell would invade Earth and once again, the Slayer defeated the invading Demons and felling the leaders of the Makyrs alongside the Icon of Sin. All seemed final for the demons retreated once more, Earth seemingly saved at the moment. Yet upon his return to the Fortress, the Slayer was greeted by a revived Daisy with a note that read "For all your hard work."

It seems something or someone has their eye on the Doom Slayer. For what reason he does not know, but he appreciates their intervention on Daisy's part... after ensuring it wasn't some ploy by Demonkind of course.

9,600 characters just to write this sheet. Time-well spent!

Local Pundit makes Terrible Puns and Ruins Everything

Thanks for the warm welcome, me mates! I'll be sure not to hand out terrible puns to ya, after all, I have a hand-le on such things. Everyone else shall suffer by my hand. :p

Local Pundit makes Terrible Puns and Ruins Everything

Greetings, I am Critic Ham. I make terrible pun-chlines. That is my only purpose in life. Why? Because I enjoy the groans of despair and frustration at unfunny jokes.