Darkraven

Sum up your week in roleplaying in just 3 words

Ruined by idiots.

Darkraven's Hotel of the Forlorn

Valentina Vetrov

Valentina Vetrov

Name: Valentina Vetrov
Age: 10 (and a half)
Gender: Female
Former Occupation: Student, Child Actor
Appearance: The above photo was one taken before the infection began. She had become far more damaged and ragged since. Her left eye had been blinded by a glass shrapnel in a traffic accident that resulted in the explosion of an oil tanker, and she would cover it with an eyepatch she and her guardian, Steven, found in a bar. She had been cut in the right cheek once in a scuffle, which left a faint scar as it wasn't rough and deep. Perhaps more visible would be the bullethole scar marking her right shoulder. She had been gored once by a feral pig, resulting in a gore mark on her right calf. Her blond hair had grown unkempt and in Steven's attempt to keep it short, badly styled at shoulder-length. Her face and hair was always dirty with smudges of black and brown. As a result of her exertions over the past year or so, she had become somewhat well-toned inasmuch as a 10 (and a half) year old girl could be well-toned.

Before the worldwide epidemic, her fashion sense was the same as any other feminine, sweet girl, though not as simple-minded. She would tend to choose from a rich palette of colours and mix and match them. She could make anything work, from different shades of pink to black matching with baby-blue.

Her colour preference had since dulled due to both survival concerns and lack of hygiene. She wore a greyed-out white T-shirt and a pair of plain denim jeans. A pair of high leather boots, the most durable you can find in a fashion shop. Above that she wore a kid-sized kevlar vest that was yellow in colour, but faded with dust and use, and above that she has a jacket with fur collar for warmth. Pinned on her kevlar vest was a police precinct 5 badge that Steven Kipling gave her.

In the pockets of her jacket is a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of Vodka she had just learnt how to smoke and drink from Steven. The few magazine pockets on her vest contained the ammunition and magazines she needed for immediate use. She had a belt with a holster for her snub-nosed revolver and a sheath for her hunting knife.

She loved carrying a large number of blades with her, as such a habit had kept her alive on more than one occasion. She kept a smaller knife underneath the right legging of her jeans, a shiv in the lining around the back of her jeans, and yes, another shiv in her training bra (which she only started wearing when she needs a place to put another shiv). She had a pink (faded, of course) Hello Kitty backpack, filled with spare clothes, a spare pistol, a random assortment of ammunition she’d been collecting, bits and bobs she needed; her family photo and a copy of her movie was crushed somewhere beneath. Her kid's pink .22 carbine rifle could usually be found slung on her shoulder, just as faded as her vest.

Height: 4 feet 10

Weight: 95 Pounds

Scars/Tattoos/Other: Left eye is blinded and thus milky white; she covers it with an eyepatch. Has a faint knife scar on her right cheek. A bullethole scar on her right shoulder. There is a gore mark on her right calf.

Past Affiliates:
Viktor Vetrov, Father. A man who had migrated into the United States soon after the fall of the Soviet Union. A toymaker and tinkerer before the virus. Died of his numerous wounds in a firefight against cannibals who massacred Valentina's group for food after he managed to get Valentina to a safe distance.
Bella Vetrov, Mother. An accountant who fell in love with Valentina's father. Died of the virus.
Valerie Vetrov, Elder Sister, Oldest sibling. She had just graduated from university and was on her way to becoming an engineer when tragedy struck. Died of the Virus.
Vertov Vetrov, Elder Brother. He was in high school when the end of the world came. Died in a firefight against scavengers who tried to raid their camp.
Steven Kipling, Police Officer, Guardian and... Valentina's First Love. A young patrolman at the beginning of his career who is part of a rag tag group of police officers who are still operating in a limited capacity after the end. Being only 22 years old, he was way over his head in everything. He tried his best to take care of Valentina after he found her. Got seperated from him when the same cannibals who'd been ruining Valentina's life caught up with them. Current status unknown.

Current Affiliates: None.

Skills:
Student - While not the star student of her school, she came pretty close as she was within the 20th percentile. She could learn fast.
Junior Artist - She does know her fair share of singing, dancing, art and craft, whatnot, as she seemed to take after her father... Whatever good that would do in a world gone mad. She had become rusty in this respect, however, due to the apocalypse and everything.
Actress - She used to act in a few commercials and even a movie, got to meet Adam Sandler and all. While the end of the world had stripped away her past self, she is slowly finding a use for acting once again...
Infiltrator - Being a kid means she is disadvantaged at... most things. Stealth, however, is not one of them. Being small, quick on her feet and quiet, she could get in and get out of alot of places an adult couldn't.
Fighter - While she is by no means a substitute for a properly trained soldier, she does manage to hold her own in a fight. She'd so far been able to defeat and kill the few children who fought her, but adults prove to be a difficult challenge. Still, with some cunning, quick thinking and luck, she could potentially beat one.
Survivalist: Valentina had spent over most of her time since the virus struck out in the open, and as such knew her way around the local area, how to scavenge, how to improvise and what to do outside.

Strengths: Valentina Vetrov is quick on her feet and intelligent due to her studies, exposure to the arts and acting career. She gets by in her fitness classes, so she was neither helped nor hindered by her own body. Her terrible circumstances and ordeal had toughened her, though there were certain prices to pay for that fortitude.

Weaknesses: Valentina is a very, very psychologically damaged child. She had become incredibly depressed, morally lost and without purpose - and that's the least of her problem. Any reminder of her past would be met with fear, anger, depression or any combination thereof. Even standing in front of a mirror would prove difficult. To come back from everything she had experienced would be a challenge even with the best psychiatric help and tender, loving care possible.

Trusting people had become something of a phobia for her, owing to her experiences; Paranoia had helped her more than hindered her. Too many tragedies and being alone with the whole world to contend with for a couple months had taken a toll on her; and she won't be talking much or doing much in a social setting beyond staring into space as if it held the past and comfort she needed. In fact, she had even regressed from her promising past, sometimes forgoing words altogether. Usually though, she would just tend to avoid contact altogether, or start screaming, shouting or threatening even harmless acquaintances if backed into a corner, not that she’d had the pleasure ever since getting separated from Steven.

Beyond that, she is a child and is still less developed and experienced in many things that an adult would know. As such, she could be careless and reckless at times.

History: Valentina Vetrov was born to a man who migrated into the United States in his prime mere months after the fall of the Soviet Union. Viktor, her father, was out of a job there, and knowing that the social chaos could only get worse as the Russian Federation was in the process of being born, he scraped together everything he had and bought a ticket to the United States. For some time, he was an illegal immigrant before he was granted his citizenship. He had been working in the toy line even before he was in the United States, and when he worked enough for a company, he created his own, and made or imported Russian toys.

Valentina was born after her siblings Vertov and Valerie, who were 18 and 22 respectively. From Bella, her mother, she inherited her intellect, and from her father, his adaptiveness and intelligence, as well as toughness. She did pretty well in school, and though she had to face a degree of bullying and social difficulties owing to her Russian descent and the slight accent she inherited from her father, she stood up to it with a combination of cunning and diplomacy.

She was great in her studies, and excelled particularly in the arts, and less so in mathematics and science. She was highly prolific in her short life, always dabbling in things that needed creativity. She started learning singing and dancing from the age of six, but her main talent lies in acting. When talent scouts came to her school, she was one of few out of hundreds that were chosen. She started acting in commercials, and made her debut in an Adam Sandler comedy as his character's daughter. She was on her way to signing another contract but society fell before she could.

When the virus struck, it took her eldest sister, Valerie Vetrov, and her mother, Bella Vetrov, away. Having a difficult time in school was nothing compared to the loss, as Viktor's family was extremely close-knit. She cried for days and mourned through the early stages of society's collapse. At first, the Vetrov family stayed in their suburban home, deciding that the troubles were only temporary.

Once, she followed her father on a car to the gas station in an attempt to buy or find supplies, but a traffic accident that resulted in the explosion of a truck hauling a tank of oil sent a glass shard flying like a bullet into her left eye. Thankfully, Viktor was able to get her to a (barely functioning) hospital and, through the intervention of a surgeon, she survived, but lost her sight in her left eye. It'd caused her to sink into depression, not to mention a (temporary but long) period of physical incapacitation.

But when supplies ran out and no meaningful amount could be scavenged or grown, the family decided to move, following faint messages of hope and sanctuary. For weeks they travelled, meeting fellow families and friends along the way, before another blow was struck. Aggressive scavengers attacked the group the family was in while they were camping. Vertov Vetrov, her elder brother, who was on guard duty, was killed in the ensuing violence. He was shot through the head in the firefight, dying bravely. But that was no comfort to Valentina, who retreated into herself, and died a little inside as she couldn't even say goodbye to him.

At the end of the road, Valentina was nearly killed by a bandit group; they managed to surprise the family, and robbed them. They were about to start toying with Valentina when the cavalry came. Had a pair of police officers (one of whom was Patrolman Steven Kipling) not intervened, things would have gone down much worse. They took shelter in a police precinct where a handful of surviving police officers were still operating; it'd become a safe haven of sorts. What was unfortunate, however, was the fact that the police remnants were at odds with some factions that had formed in their city. They continued to uphold the law, but were constantly undermanned such that any able-bodied men and women were drafted into a militia they formed.

But life was bearable for the family; food was grown in gardens, water trapped and resources scavenged. Then it came crashing down again, one otherwise peaceful night, when a large group of crazed cannibals they had been fighting against infiltrated the safe haven and started tearing it apart from the inside-out. Valentina saw unspeakable things being done to her fellow survivors, to the police officers who previously seemed like giants; the way they were shot down, cut up, torn up during the skirmish as she hid would stick with her forever. Her father wasn't much luckier. He had been shot in several places in the one-sided battle.

Using what strength he had left, Viktor took his only remaining family member and, with seemingly superhuman endurance, fought his way out. They kept running, and stopped only when they were too far away to be tracked. For the final time, Valentina made camp with her father. The girl woke up the next day, the father never did. Losing all will to survive, she stayed beside her father, just waiting for everything to be over.

But she was not the only survivor of the police precinct safe haven. Steven Kipling, a young patrol officer with a rebellious streak, was a day behind and managed to track her down and find her. He tried to coax her out of her deathly daze but couldn't; reasoning that cannibals could be on his tail since even he managed to track her down, he simply carried her away and booked it.

Steven Kipling had barely left his childhood and teenagehood behind, and was no expert in parenting. Regardless, he had become her guardian. It took him days to get her to open up; she had nearly died of dehydration because she refused to eat or drink. The key had been to talk to her; Steven tried everything, but when he attacked the problem at the core when he talked about what her parents and what they would have wanted, he got her. The solution seemed obvious, but then Kipling wasn't in his elements in anything; he had never really have to take care of children, he didn't really understand them and he understood girls even less.

They became friends as they spent more time together. Despite being rough around the edges, the patrol officer treated her like his own. He provided for her and protected her when she was still down. He taught her how to provide and protect herself when she was up again. Unfortunately, that was where his achievement ends and where his vices began. Reasoning that death was at their doorstep every single moment, he didn't mind when Valentina asked him to teach her how to smoke, or how to drink; the girl, having lost her family, having been brought from the brink by Steven, practically worships him, and wanted to emulate his habits. She smoked and she drank; she began swearing and became tough on people.

They spent every waking moment together, fought alongside for almost a couple of months and had been through thick and thin. Admiration grew uncontrollably into precocious crush, no thanks to Steven. This, however, was where his breaking point was. Valentina repeatedly confessed her crush and made advances towards Steven, but he rejected every one of them; drugs and minors weren't his thing.

It didn't stop him from giving her his brand of sex education, though, as he reasoned that she would need it a few years later; life was short, and it had grown even shorter. Then, as all good things must, it came to an end when they were unable to sneak past a group of the same cannibals who destroyed their safe haven. They were separated in the fight that ensued. Steven drew them away as Valentina ran.

She never saw him again. Once again, Valentina retreated into herself, suffering a first broken heart just shortly after she confessed her love for the first time. Her world came crashing down as memories resurfaced. She had been alone ever since, silent except for when she needed to intimidate people. She avoided all contact with people, partly adhering to Steven’s teachings and partly because she was paranoid. All the while, she searched and searched to no avail for her friend, savior, comrade and crush.

Once, she failed to rob a family when she became desperate. Her warning shot had attracted the same cannibals who had been antagonising her, who then proceeded to tear the family apart after Valentina ran. She was a shadow of her former self, having died even as she walked a long time ago. One might even venture to argue that she had become the very thing that had been tormenting her ever since the virus came and went.

Us, Redux

<Snipped quote>

By the way, this was what I liked. Always cool to see my characters being noted for being noteworthy enough to be mentioned. Raven, I suggest you halt whatever choice presumptions you have as they are only working against you.

Anyway, I guess I should get a new Levitski post going.

@Gowi

Fair enough. Then I'll discount that point against you. The like system is imprecise and you knew it. McHaggis' post was about my character being utter rubbish. Your character is mentioned in one word or phrase. And you liked the entire post instead of putting up your own. You're either a liar or you made a serious mistake in expression; either way, you've done something wrong.

One thing remains though. You don't seem to mind McHaggis essentially calling what someone had painstaking written utter rubbish (Mary Sues are utter rubbish as far as I know), while you seem to mind the targeted person trying to fend for himself. If through logic and discussion, I'm convinced that the character is rubbish, I would have accepted that. But all I get are a few flimsy scraps of 'arguments' based on words I wrote that could be interpreted in a wide range of ways, and then I was shut up.

You put yourself in my shoes. How would you feel if I call Levitski an utter rubbish character? That he's a Gary Stu/Marty Stu? And then when you try to convince me that it isn't, that you'll make sure he won't be, I brush you off and shut you up, saying that I don't care for it anymore, and that your character will remain an utter rubbish heap for as long as I'm alive?

It is an attack. And what followed was one person forcing her will onto another. How can that be condoned? When one is attacked, one must defend himself. When one's free will is taken away, one must fight for it. How can that be wrong?

Us, Redux

So let me get this straight.

You say that my character is a Mary Sue.

Ghost Shadow and you, Gowi, are practically saying the same thing by liking that post.

I try to defend my character.

You knit-pick at one contentious word, ignores all the rest of my statement(s).

And now you expect me to shut up and basically take everything you said lying down and letting you have your way, all on your whim? Because you can't justify your statement and aren't even willing to put the case you opened to rest?

Honestly, this is outrageous.

EDIT: I know whose side you're on, Gowi. Seems to me that you think every single thing McHaggis puts on the page is right. While I'm wrong to even so much as respond. I find it interesting and amusing how I'm targeted throughout this whole joke.

Us, Redux

@Gowi As far as I'm concerned I'm trying to establish my character as a proper one instead of the 'Mary Sue' that I have been brutally accused of writing. In fact, I'm being incredibly civil and professional about this compared to what I've seen out there. I haven't hurled insults (though I've been accused of it), I haven't hurled vulgarities, and I'm completely on the defensive. I don't plan to drag anything personal into this, and I don't plan to drag things that are out-of-point into this.

Us, Redux

@McHaggis Even when we take into account all definitions of the Mary Sue, it's still rather difficult to call Valentina a Mary Sue.

Let's say we use the definitions found in these sources:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Mary+Sue

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Sue

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MarySue

One definition is that the Mary Sue is the ideal version of the author, placed in a fan fiction to carry out the wishes of the author to interact with canon characters, usually there's a romantic relationship involved. First of all, this is not a fanfiction. Secondly, I am a guy, not a gal. Thirdly, Valentina is nothing like me. Fourthly, the only romantic relationship between Valentina and another character is an unfulfilled one (and even then, her feelings are naive, pre-sexual and undeveloped), and neither is there much chance at all for there to be any romantic relationship beause she's a kid and her crush is only with someone who had disappeared for 2 months.

Then there's this: "The Mary Sue is an absolutely perfect OC. They usually have bad pasts, never get angry, be skilled in every skill, have magical powers, be over powered, and never loses. They usually have the rarest abilities and are soooo unique. (Not at all)."

Valentina is not absolutely perfect. The existence of the weakness section ensures that. Her history section ensures that.

Valentina has a bad past, but then this is a symptom that all characters here possess. Are you ready to call all the characters in this RP Mary Sues/Marty Stus?

Valentina gets angry all the time.

Valentina is not skilled in every skill. I've written clearly about this. She sucks at mathematics and the sciences. She's careless and reckless. She's inexperienced. Will make mistakes. She is outright defined by what had troubled her.

Valentina has no magical powers.

Valentina is on the verge of being overpowered.

Valentina is on the verge of losing in a conflict.

That's a score of 1/7. So Valentina is still a Mary Sue?

And then there's this definition: "A character too perfect for their setting. Most often, this character is talented and attractive, and anyone who doesn't adore them is portrayed as mean, stupid, or evil. It's common for them to be the smartest, even if this requires everyone else to act stupider than they should. Out of place but awesome names are also frequent occurrences. They lead charmed lives, and any conflict or drama they are met with will be either overdone to the point of headache induction, or easily brushed aside."

Valentina has her talents. Sure. So does everyone else. Another symptom found everywhere.

Valentina is scarred. She has a blind eye, for goodness sakes. The original plans had her scarred even worse, and the previous version has a reverse-frown scar on a cheek! She could still be considered attractive, but she's not top in that category. She's written as dirty and no longer meticulous with her fashion anymore. Oh, and by the way, she's 10 years old (and a half). Attractive isn't even the right word to use here. I hope you're not attracted to 10(and a half)-year-olds, because that would be troubling, miss.

I don't plan to depict everyone who doesn't adore her to be stupid, mean or something. Valentina, for now, is either an anti-villain or anti-hero here. She's in the wrong immediately in my debut post.

Valentina is certainly not the smartest. She needed to be taught, and she'd just screwed up big time over and over again.

I don't plan to force all of you to roleplay your characters as being more stupid than a 10.5 year old.

Valentina Vetrov's name can be considered out of place, but I'm not sure about the awesome bit. But then again the US is an immigrant country. What do you want me to do. I'll consider this half true I suppose.

Valentina's life is anything but charmed.

The conflict and drama Valentina enters into wasn't brushed aside easily. They had serious consequences. I don't know what headache induction is. I'll consider this half true then, because of the latter.

So that's 2/8. Mary Sue?

Furthermore, there are alot of meanings attached to terms of endearment. I'm not trying to be condescending. I'm trying to be understanding. You've made serious mistakes in your argument, and my response is to let you know, move the discussion and hope to reach a conclusion. I'm trying to be nice, I'm trying to compromise. What more do you want? The fact that I'm trying to do the right stuff doesn't mean I'm going to be a pushover however. How can I take your accusation without trying to defend myself? And this time, I know for a fact that I'm actively avoiding the Mary Sue.

Us, Redux

I don't understand how I'm being condescending to you. Neither is my brain plugged into the internet, thank god, so I don't see how you could even attempt to read my mind.

I don't think my character is overpowered in proportion to what she'd been through. You gotta also think of what my character don't have. Other than the stuff I've stated, you gotta figure out what's in between the lines that's going to stop her from dominating.

Her being a kid, no matter how skilled she is in whatever she does, everything she has is downscaled according to her age and size. Then there are the things that are outright barred from her. I'm talking about both physical and mental things.

Then I've thrown in all her weaknesses, character flaws. I think it's just that I haven't even begin to play Valentina out yet, which is why you can't see exactly what's going on. Like how the weaknesses I've given her could be crippling, qnd how her history is going to really limit her.

Edit: then of course, there's the definition of the Mary Sue and if my character fits that description.

A Mary Sue is a character that's a perfect version of the author, who usually is a projection of what the author wishes to do in a fictional environment.

So, haha, no. I have absolutely no wish to be anything like Valentina and what she's doing isn't what I'd do.

Us, Redux

Honey, that's completely different from what you were saying in the previous post. Previously it would have been a problem with my post. Now it's a problem with my character.

But I think there's even more misunderstanding, and this time I think it means I'd have to brush up on my character sheet. By 'nearly' being on top, I'm saying that she's like in the 20th to 11th percentile, which isn't bad. Wasn't the 10th percentile defined as being best?

And in the sports part, I'm merely saying that she gets by in the fitness zone. I guess maybe I'm being too kind with my words.

I did mention though that she's better with the arts than the sciences. I mention that she's not as good in her mathematics and science. Maybe I should have elaborated more then.

As for survival skills... My reasoning is that those kids that don't have it died one way or the other. Either that or they had someone to protect them. Valentina was the latter in the first half of her new life and the former in her second half. She'd even killed children who happened to be on the opposite end of any conflict she was involved in, one or a few of whom were innocent kids being kids. Unless you want me roleplay as a dead kid stuck in the ditches, but that would be difficult.

That said, I've been looking for feedback all along! Why didn't you tell me in the beginning that that's what you were trying to give me? :D

That said I'll make the changes when I get back home. Like 15 hours from now. Today's going to be a very busy day *shudders*

Us, Redux

Wrong. She's 10.5 years old :D

She'd also dug herself a grave had she been dealing with bandits or cannibals. But luckily, it happened to be Annette's group.

Has nothing to do with her acting. She acted in an Adam Sandler comedy for Christ's sake.

It has more to do with spending 6 months outside, being taught by someone not opposed to such things and being desperate.

She'd also made a ton of mistakes. Making noise in the vents, not waiting for the boy to leave, shouting, dealing with the boy poorly, sshooting, did not kill the man in one shot, and the worst of it all is that she trapped herself. Being unable to deal with her situation well, which lead her to commit all these mistakes in the first place. And the biggest mistake of them all is that she's assaulting an otherwise friendly group. Heck, she couldn't even talk right after all she'd been through and she'd failed in all her objectives despite having the element of surprise and superior firepower, how about you put it that way?

I'm under the impression actually that most of the characters could approach the situation better in her shoes. David or Ames would have left everyone dead and be gone very quickly rather than causing a scene. Or heck, most of the characters would have come up with a diplomatic solution that's far less risky.

I tried my best ever since the conception of the character to make her a realistic young survivor who might be skilled but is otherwise young and inexperienced and broken and so will make mistakes and bad decisions.

Anyway, we'll let our Pal be the judge.

Us, Redux

Posted! Hope you guys enjoy! :)