BlizzElder Rivers looked back, carefully reading Santa's gestures. By then, he had gotten to understand part of what Santa was trying to communicate, if only partly. Elder Rivers gave a thumbs up, smiling, before turning back, pulling on the ignition string. Nine engines roared all in tandem, the chorus echoing through the empty mall. Elder Rivers let go of the string to firmly grasp Rudolph's handles. It seemed the snow mobiles had trouble pulling the SUV at first, the front tracks grinding on the floor.
Soon enough though, as they gained momentum, the SUV picked up speed, pulled by a team of snow mobiles. "I can't believe this worked" Elder Rivers mumbled, riding around the mall.
"The trouble though is getting out of here" Elder Rivers explained. "There are zombies waiting just outside. I might be vulnerable."
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"Y'know Santa..." Elder Rivers said "This'll be the first Christmas I spend away from home and without my family..." The Mormon sighed, walking slowly with his head down as he traced the sides of the snow mobiles with his fingers.
Walking into the craft store, Elder Rivers took a piece of nylon string, tying it to the keys of each of the snow mobiles in such a way that if he tugged on it, they would all turn on. The handle was a plastic jump rope handle glued to the string. Finished, Elder Rivers opened the back seat door of the SUV and stashed his moped all the way to the end. He then reached into his fanny pack to take out a bible. He opened up to a page and began reciting lines and prayers, apparently to the SUV as well as the snow mobiles. It was the first time Elder Rivers had ever done such a thing, though he had been taught to.
Finally done christening Santa's new sleigh, Elder Rivers got onto the front most snow mobile. "Get in" he told Santa, gripping tight onto the string.
Walking into the craft store, Elder Rivers took a piece of nylon string, tying it to the keys of each of the snow mobiles in such a way that if he tugged on it, they would all turn on. The handle was a plastic jump rope handle glued to the string. Finished, Elder Rivers opened the back seat door of the SUV and stashed his moped all the way to the end. He then reached into his fanny pack to take out a bible. He opened up to a page and began reciting lines and prayers, apparently to the SUV as well as the snow mobiles. It was the first time Elder Rivers had ever done such a thing, though he had been taught to.
Finally done christening Santa's new sleigh, Elder Rivers got onto the front most snow mobile. "Get in" he told Santa, gripping tight onto the string.
The Mormon took another few laps around with his moped, looking back at Santa to see what he way doing, noticing that Santa still hadn't picked a vehicle. He still seemed somewhat fixated on the idea of driving an SUV in spite of not having a way to turn the car on. Elder Rivers looked at the snow mobiles and wondered why Santa didn't just take one. Then, he had an idea.
Elder Rivers drove into a gift shop, taking several reindeer horn-ears, and a bottle of wood glue. He placed the ears at the front of each snowmobile, carefully gluing them together. With as much strength as he could muster, Elder Rivers pushed the vehicles toward the SUV, lining them up in front of the car. Finished, he rubbed his hands together and sighed, proudly putting his hands on his hips to look at his work.
"There" he said "Maybe we can't get the car to start, but we can have the snomobiles drive the SUV until we can find a key for it!"
Elder Rivers drove into a gift shop, taking several reindeer horn-ears, and a bottle of wood glue. He placed the ears at the front of each snowmobile, carefully gluing them together. With as much strength as he could muster, Elder Rivers pushed the vehicles toward the SUV, lining them up in front of the car. Finished, he rubbed his hands together and sighed, proudly putting his hands on his hips to look at his work.
"There" he said "Maybe we can't get the car to start, but we can have the snomobiles drive the SUV until we can find a key for it!"
The door of the red SUV was kicked open, a Mormon hopping out. Elder Rivers was unsure how useful a snow mobile would be without snow, especially inside of a mall, but with nobody around, it seemed like a decent form of alternative transportation, if only for now. Slowly, Elder Rivers made his way toward the store, carefully stepping over shards of glass. Several machines had already been lifted, among other things.
"Santa" he started "Do you want first pick?" Elder Rivers looked around the store. It seemed that the vehicles already had keys on them. He figured that whoever ran the shop thought that nobody would get too far in a snow mobile while inside a mall. He wondered what the speed was compared to a moped. Coincidentally, before Elder Rivers, was an actual moped- mall cop attached.
"Sorry" he whispered, before carefully lifting the moped. Turning it on, Elder Rivers did a donut around the SUV and stopped before the glass in front of the snow mobile store.
"Santa" he started "Do you want first pick?" Elder Rivers looked around the store. It seemed that the vehicles already had keys on them. He figured that whoever ran the shop thought that nobody would get too far in a snow mobile while inside a mall. He wondered what the speed was compared to a moped. Coincidentally, before Elder Rivers, was an actual moped- mall cop attached.
"Sorry" he whispered, before carefully lifting the moped. Turning it on, Elder Rivers did a donut around the SUV and stopped before the glass in front of the snow mobile store.
Elder Rivers looked carefully at Santa, trying to read his movements. Car engine noises probably meant that he was confirming he wanted to use the vehicle. God knows what the rest meant. "I'm sorry. There aren't any keys. I can't start the thing." Rivers explained. He hopped out of the car and put his hands on his hips. Tapping his feet, Elder Rivers tried to come up with a plan. Should the car suddenly work, it would be a Christmas miracle.
"Santa" he said "you know how to make this work right? With Christmas spirit?" The Mormon traced around the car, looking around the ropes and at the register center for any keys but to no avail. Despirited, the Elder stepped back into the vehicle and shut the door. "Hmm..." he hummed, reclining into his seat. "Do you have a key in that bag? Or something to start the car?" Elder Rivers asked.
Unable to start the car, Elder Rivers resolved that an actual sleigh would be a better choice. Then, as Elder Rivers relaxed, his eye drifted off to something that was right in front of him- a store selling now mobiles.
"Santa" he pointed to the shop before him. "Look"
"Santa" he said "you know how to make this work right? With Christmas spirit?" The Mormon traced around the car, looking around the ropes and at the register center for any keys but to no avail. Despirited, the Elder stepped back into the vehicle and shut the door. "Hmm..." he hummed, reclining into his seat. "Do you have a key in that bag? Or something to start the car?" Elder Rivers asked.
Unable to start the car, Elder Rivers resolved that an actual sleigh would be a better choice. Then, as Elder Rivers relaxed, his eye drifted off to something that was right in front of him- a store selling now mobiles.
"Santa" he pointed to the shop before him. "Look"
As he walked through the halls, Elder Rivers had realized that in spite of the obvious signs of damage, there was no blood anywhere. It was almost as though people made an organized effort to have everything lifted off the shelves before taking off. Elder Rivers had calculated, however, that not many of these people made it very far. That is, if the horde of zombies waiting just outside the broken automatic doors were any indicator.
With his mind occupied with other things, Elder Rivers had blindly followed Santa. He was too distracted with what happened to be cautious of anything attacking. If something did attack, he was doomed. The last thing he could do was die an honorable death, the way his partner would have wanted. The Mormon would be loyal to his church to death. Then, God would give Rivers his own planet for all the wives he was too young to marry before he died.
Before he knew it though, Santa had stopped. "What is it?" Elder RIvers asked. "What's wrong?" Then he realized it. Before them was a car. Elder Rivers wondered why, of all things, the car wasn't stolen amongst the chaos. Nonetheless, it seemed that Santa wanted to make the car his getaway vehicle- or rather his sleigh. Elder Rivers nodded to communicate his understanding.
He crawled under the roped and opened the driver's seat door, which swung open without much effort. Alas, there was no key inside.
With his mind occupied with other things, Elder Rivers had blindly followed Santa. He was too distracted with what happened to be cautious of anything attacking. If something did attack, he was doomed. The last thing he could do was die an honorable death, the way his partner would have wanted. The Mormon would be loyal to his church to death. Then, God would give Rivers his own planet for all the wives he was too young to marry before he died.
Before he knew it though, Santa had stopped. "What is it?" Elder RIvers asked. "What's wrong?" Then he realized it. Before them was a car. Elder Rivers wondered why, of all things, the car wasn't stolen amongst the chaos. Nonetheless, it seemed that Santa wanted to make the car his getaway vehicle- or rather his sleigh. Elder Rivers nodded to communicate his understanding.
He crawled under the roped and opened the driver's seat door, which swung open without much effort. Alas, there was no key inside.
The Mormon chuckled in response to the mall Santa's surprising yet innately disturbing responses. "Ho ho ho" Elder Rivers said. It wasn't quite Christmas yet, at least Elder Rivers didn't think it was, but he already felt a bit of the spirit. Still, spending a holiday without his family and Mormon brothers was like... spending Christmas without his family and Mormon brothers. As the chilling thought came to pass, Elder Rivers shrugged off the bad thoughts, turning them off like a light switch.
By then, Elder Rivers had noticed that Santa wanted Elder Rivers to follow, and so the Mormon did exactly that. "Coming!" he said.
By then, Elder Rivers had noticed that Santa wanted Elder Rivers to follow, and so the Mormon did exactly that. "Coming!" he said.
Elder Rivers nodded. He was still unsure what the raising of the bar meant. "Ho ho ho?" Elder Rivers replied. It was refreshing for him to see, that even in spite of the zombies, this mall Santa could keep in character and on top of that, retain Christmas spirit. In addition, Elder Rivers was no longer alone again. It was, once again, two by two.
The Mormon smiled. "Now let's find you a sleigh." he said, holding out a hand to help Santa get up. "There are plenty of stores so I'm sure we'll find a sleigh somewhere around here... Say. You haven't seen anybody come down here right? Was everybody in a hurry to leave? Where are all the zombies?" Elder Rivers asked. He was curious as to why there were so few zombies in the mall of all places.
The Mormon smiled. "Now let's find you a sleigh." he said, holding out a hand to help Santa get up. "There are plenty of stores so I'm sure we'll find a sleigh somewhere around here... Say. You haven't seen anybody come down here right? Was everybody in a hurry to leave? Where are all the zombies?" Elder Rivers asked. He was curious as to why there were so few zombies in the mall of all places.
As he was explaining, Elder RIvers noticed the mall Santa made a strange unexpected movement. It seemed that Santa was raising his hand- he had something to say. Elder Rivers' face lit up. "Uh huh!? Uh huh!?" Elder Rivers leaned in to Santa.
Needless to say, Santa's gestures were difficult to read. All this holding and dropping and clapping and nodding appeared cryptic to Elder Rivers. "Hey... If you're Santa Claus... that must mean you need a sleigh right? I get it! You must miss your sleigh. Thanks for listening to me, by the way."
Needless to say, Santa's gestures were difficult to read. All this holding and dropping and clapping and nodding appeared cryptic to Elder Rivers. "Hey... If you're Santa Claus... that must mean you need a sleigh right? I get it! You must miss your sleigh. Thanks for listening to me, by the way."
"Well..." the Mormon started "the whole story begins with God, and he makes the whole universe! So one day,Jesus had to come down from his planet so he could sacrifice himself for your sins... and... and... then Joseph Smith was contacted by the all-American angel Elohim, who gave him the location of these tablets. So Joseph Smith finds them and they lead him to the promise land! So he takes a bunch of people with him... but like Jesus, Joseph Smith had to sacrifice himself and Brigham Young had to take over. SO then eventually, the Mormons found Salt Lake City! That's where I come from..." Elder Rivers continued to babble on and on with a tint of nervousness.
In the middle of his talking, Elder Rivers looked up at Santa to check how he was holding up- or if he had already left. Things would have been much easier had Elder RIvers still had his partner.
In the middle of his talking, Elder Rivers looked up at Santa to check how he was holding up- or if he had already left. Things would have been much easier had Elder RIvers still had his partner.
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