Dlayeth Member
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- Joined: 11 yrs ago
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- Dlayeth 11 yrs ago
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Most Recent Posts
hola amigos... I'm terrified as fuck... Seriously, I want to run away, it's been too long. I'm sorry I dropped out without warning... alright courage gone, time to hide
Oh good. I'm not alone :D
... somehow I keep forgetting to check in... and goddammit, am I the only one who can't draw?
Take things more seriously now? I thought I was taking things seriously. After a moment of thought, she concluded that the cat had been talking about its words. Well, perhaps its words held truth at times, but just because it had been truthful now didn’t mean it would be truthful later. Or perhaps it was referring to the warnings about her soul. Personally, such an abstract concept didn’t really bother her. So what if her soul flaked away into nothing? The thought wasn’t frightening to her. Frankly, she was attracted to the thought. Something about that situation seemed to offer a kind of peace, an eternal one.
If she had a soul, then clearly there was something like an afterlife or another life, though she didn’t remember it. Maybe that was the real reason she didn’t remember anything. Unexpectedly, the thought of having a soul and an afterlife did not give her comfort or happiness. If anything, the idea did the exact opposite. Some part of her truly hated the idea of living on and risking hell. Life sucked, so why prolong it? Wasn’t a simple peaceful oblivion, an end to self and suffering, so much better? The reasoning behind these thoughts were unclear, but even without her memory, she still thought this way. She’d just woken up, found out she was a soul, was terrified out of her wits shortly after she woke up, ran like a fury into god knows where without a plan, chatted with a talking cat, and nearly died of exhaustion. If this was a life, she really didn’t need it.
Even worse, in this life, the best thing she had was this “oasis water” the cat talked about. The pinnacle of her current life would be drinking fresh water from a clear spring in some mountain somewhere. It sounded like an advertisement. Maybe that’s all this was. Regardless, this peace she felt was temporary, would not get any better than it had been a moment before, and was probably very valuable. All things came with a price, and she wondered what sort of hefty sum came with this. Nothing was free, so what did this cat want her to do? To some degree she slightly regretted drinking the water. Now she had a taste for it, a thirst for it, she would be doomed to running around searching for it and doing her best to get her hands on it. This process seemed familiar too, but well, it was too late. If it cleared her mind and calmed her down, there was no way she could stay away from it.
“A name…?” She thought about it. A name was something to identify a person, something to call them. What would her name be? What could her name be? Loss? Sorrow? No, those weren’t names. Serenity? The word “serenity” drew her, but at the same time, she was repelled by the thought that the name was not suitable for her. She was anything but serene. She was nameless, she was no one… perhaps nemo? The word supposedly meant “no one” in some old dead language, but it was apparently also the name of some orange and white fish from a movie. Immediately with that knowledge, the name was rejected.
She thought about her experiences since she awoke. Fear? Despair? Those were emotions, not names, so those were rejected as well. She thought about her thoughts, the conflicting desires she’d had from the start. The need for that terrifying creature known as a man, but also that overwhelming fear. Conflict? Fracture? Contradiction? Those still weren’t names. Confusion? Frustration? Exhaustion? She didn’t know any words that could mean that and be a name. Chaos? For some reason that left the impression of being a guy’s name. So, what was there to call her? Did it matter? In the end, a name was just a name, and thinking one up was too troublesome. Perhaps she’d leave it up to the cat? Then again, the cat might choose a terrible name. Perhaps it would be better if she thought up one herself. Well, it probably wouldn’t hurt to try to get some suggestions from the cat.
“What do you think I should be called?” she asked. “—and can I choose neither?” She didn’t want to go to the oasis where the man was. She also did not want to go into the village where there was bound to be men. It’s not really like she had another option though. She didn’t know the land, didn’t know how to get around and survive here. The idea of going to the oasis with all that water tempted her, but the threat of the man’s presence was enough to give her some serious hesitation now that her need was satisfied. As for the village, she glanced down at her clothes. Well, she wasn’t interested in getting all those stares and possibly deal with the fallout from the womenfolk who would likely look down on her. Of course, that was only one excuse. Even if she had been well-dressed she would have felt ill-at-ease strolling into some strange town with a strange cat at her side when there could be men anywhere. The thought of being in unfamiliar locations with men made her anxious.
If she had a soul, then clearly there was something like an afterlife or another life, though she didn’t remember it. Maybe that was the real reason she didn’t remember anything. Unexpectedly, the thought of having a soul and an afterlife did not give her comfort or happiness. If anything, the idea did the exact opposite. Some part of her truly hated the idea of living on and risking hell. Life sucked, so why prolong it? Wasn’t a simple peaceful oblivion, an end to self and suffering, so much better? The reasoning behind these thoughts were unclear, but even without her memory, she still thought this way. She’d just woken up, found out she was a soul, was terrified out of her wits shortly after she woke up, ran like a fury into god knows where without a plan, chatted with a talking cat, and nearly died of exhaustion. If this was a life, she really didn’t need it.
Even worse, in this life, the best thing she had was this “oasis water” the cat talked about. The pinnacle of her current life would be drinking fresh water from a clear spring in some mountain somewhere. It sounded like an advertisement. Maybe that’s all this was. Regardless, this peace she felt was temporary, would not get any better than it had been a moment before, and was probably very valuable. All things came with a price, and she wondered what sort of hefty sum came with this. Nothing was free, so what did this cat want her to do? To some degree she slightly regretted drinking the water. Now she had a taste for it, a thirst for it, she would be doomed to running around searching for it and doing her best to get her hands on it. This process seemed familiar too, but well, it was too late. If it cleared her mind and calmed her down, there was no way she could stay away from it.
“A name…?” She thought about it. A name was something to identify a person, something to call them. What would her name be? What could her name be? Loss? Sorrow? No, those weren’t names. Serenity? The word “serenity” drew her, but at the same time, she was repelled by the thought that the name was not suitable for her. She was anything but serene. She was nameless, she was no one… perhaps nemo? The word supposedly meant “no one” in some old dead language, but it was apparently also the name of some orange and white fish from a movie. Immediately with that knowledge, the name was rejected.
She thought about her experiences since she awoke. Fear? Despair? Those were emotions, not names, so those were rejected as well. She thought about her thoughts, the conflicting desires she’d had from the start. The need for that terrifying creature known as a man, but also that overwhelming fear. Conflict? Fracture? Contradiction? Those still weren’t names. Confusion? Frustration? Exhaustion? She didn’t know any words that could mean that and be a name. Chaos? For some reason that left the impression of being a guy’s name. So, what was there to call her? Did it matter? In the end, a name was just a name, and thinking one up was too troublesome. Perhaps she’d leave it up to the cat? Then again, the cat might choose a terrible name. Perhaps it would be better if she thought up one herself. Well, it probably wouldn’t hurt to try to get some suggestions from the cat.
“What do you think I should be called?” she asked. “—and can I choose neither?” She didn’t want to go to the oasis where the man was. She also did not want to go into the village where there was bound to be men. It’s not really like she had another option though. She didn’t know the land, didn’t know how to get around and survive here. The idea of going to the oasis with all that water tempted her, but the threat of the man’s presence was enough to give her some serious hesitation now that her need was satisfied. As for the village, she glanced down at her clothes. Well, she wasn’t interested in getting all those stares and possibly deal with the fallout from the womenfolk who would likely look down on her. Of course, that was only one excuse. Even if she had been well-dressed she would have felt ill-at-ease strolling into some strange town with a strange cat at her side when there could be men anywhere. The thought of being in unfamiliar locations with men made her anxious.
;-;
I can't think of a name QQ
I can't think of a name QQ
Lol... tumblr waging war on 4chan.
Alrighty, Tired and distracted Dlayeth's post is up. I think my brain fizzled out just now.
Unfortunately, she couldn’t help but make an incredulous expression when she heard the cat’s reply to her question. The talking cat is here for me. Riiiiiight! She couldn’t help but be skeptical. Sure the talking cat felt strangely familiar, but that was it. How could she trust a talking cat she had just met. She didn’t know a thing about it. A little quiet voice inside her was telling her that she shouldn’t just believe everything a talking cat said, but her current experiences were null. Sure that little something inside her was saying that she shouldn’t belief the talking cat, but at the same time it felt familiar and it didn’t tell her just why she shouldn’t trust the cat. God, if this was how amnesiacs felt, she pitied them.
Almost unnoticed, the cat moved closer to her while her instincts and reasoning were playing tug of war with her thoughts. Suddenly she realized she was staring right into the cat’s eyes. Somehow she couldn’t take her eyes away and it was as if she was falling into a sea of sapphire. Absentmindedly, she felt something inside her. The sense that something was seeing all that she was intensified, but she sense no malice or judgement. She possessed enough sense to wonder why she wasn’t panicking, before it dropped away, or maybe it was her that had fallen out of its gaze. She blinked at the creature before her, confused.
What the hell just happened? What did that cat do to me! The sense that something had seen into the deepest part of her unnerved her and her fear warred with indignation. What the hell did that cat just do to me!?! Her temper started to flare, but stopped just as quickly. Like a wind blowing out a candle, her exhaustion blew out her anger. Instead she sighed. So the cat had done something to her, seemed to have peered inside of her, what did that change? Well, clearly that was digging into someone else’s business, and she wasn’t sure she wanted anyone being able to know that much about her. It made her feel insecure. She wanted to feel upset and suspicious but she was too tired now. She was too tired to really argue with herself at least. She might as well give up and resign herself to arguing with herself all the time.
Sure she had conflicting emotions, and sure that was uncomfortable as hell and made her upset. Sure she felt like she was starting to get a headache, and this whole confusion business was starting to make her sick. But what could she do? Too bad I can’t just knock myself out and get some rest. Hell, I’m tired. If my brain and instincts would just shut up for a few minutes, maybe I could just lay down and sleep. All her energy at the thought of getting some of that stuff that protected her from all the fears and troubles drained out of her. Offhandedly she thought to herself that she wouldn’t care if a man found her now. She was so damned tired. He could do whatever he wanted so long as she could rest, that was the measure of her exhaustion.
She considered just walking off into the bushes near the path and just falling like a felled tree behind them. That grass was starting to look so inviting. The cat’s words drew her out of her contemplation of the grass’ quality as a sleeping spot. There was something that could make it stop? Make what stop? The exhaustion? The confusion? Did it matter? She took the crystal vial from the cat and examined it. Was it water? Was it some kind of medicine or drug? Was it poison? Did she really care? Not really. If it was poison, she would be able to rest in death probably. She didn’t really believe in an afterlife or gods or anything. Life is bad enough. If there’s an afterlife then I must be in hell. She only spared a moment to examine the thought, but all motivation to discover herself vanished. Was it a drug? If so what could it do to her. A myriad of images and knowledge followed that thought and she almost threw it away. She looked at the vial warily, and then forced her body to move.
“Thanks.” she said and then forced her sluggish body to move. She had wasted too much energy on her emotions. For now she was going to go find a relatively safe place, somewhere off the damned path. If she was going to go fall down from the drugs or water or whatever it was, she was going to at least do it in a better location. The drug could make something stop. Was it her exhaustion or was it her emotions or something else? Perhaps her fear of men? Well, it didn’t matter. She wouldn’t know for sure until she tried it, and she was far gone enough that she was willing to give it a go. When she’d found a good area with soft plush grass and a thicket, she examined the vial again. It only took her a moment to get up her courage this time. She quickly opened the vial and downed whatever was in it.
On her tongue the water was clear, crisp, and somehow cold. It was refreshing, and she felt as if energy was bubbling into her body and mind. It’s fizzy like soda bubbles she thought to herself, but she wasn’t referring to the water. She was referring to the energy she was starting to feel inside of her. The haze of exhaustion disappeared and she wished there was more. She was feeling far more alive now. Her sincere wonder at this sudden change calmed her mind and soothed her. For a moment she forgot about worrying or danger and simply revelled in this feeling. A thought intruded on this peace. If it only takes this much water to make me feel like this, how would it feel to have more? She turned her head to look for the cat. She had to find that cat. She needed more of this. She didn’t want this feeling to fade.
Almost unnoticed, the cat moved closer to her while her instincts and reasoning were playing tug of war with her thoughts. Suddenly she realized she was staring right into the cat’s eyes. Somehow she couldn’t take her eyes away and it was as if she was falling into a sea of sapphire. Absentmindedly, she felt something inside her. The sense that something was seeing all that she was intensified, but she sense no malice or judgement. She possessed enough sense to wonder why she wasn’t panicking, before it dropped away, or maybe it was her that had fallen out of its gaze. She blinked at the creature before her, confused.
What the hell just happened? What did that cat do to me! The sense that something had seen into the deepest part of her unnerved her and her fear warred with indignation. What the hell did that cat just do to me!?! Her temper started to flare, but stopped just as quickly. Like a wind blowing out a candle, her exhaustion blew out her anger. Instead she sighed. So the cat had done something to her, seemed to have peered inside of her, what did that change? Well, clearly that was digging into someone else’s business, and she wasn’t sure she wanted anyone being able to know that much about her. It made her feel insecure. She wanted to feel upset and suspicious but she was too tired now. She was too tired to really argue with herself at least. She might as well give up and resign herself to arguing with herself all the time.
Sure she had conflicting emotions, and sure that was uncomfortable as hell and made her upset. Sure she felt like she was starting to get a headache, and this whole confusion business was starting to make her sick. But what could she do? Too bad I can’t just knock myself out and get some rest. Hell, I’m tired. If my brain and instincts would just shut up for a few minutes, maybe I could just lay down and sleep. All her energy at the thought of getting some of that stuff that protected her from all the fears and troubles drained out of her. Offhandedly she thought to herself that she wouldn’t care if a man found her now. She was so damned tired. He could do whatever he wanted so long as she could rest, that was the measure of her exhaustion.
She considered just walking off into the bushes near the path and just falling like a felled tree behind them. That grass was starting to look so inviting. The cat’s words drew her out of her contemplation of the grass’ quality as a sleeping spot. There was something that could make it stop? Make what stop? The exhaustion? The confusion? Did it matter? She took the crystal vial from the cat and examined it. Was it water? Was it some kind of medicine or drug? Was it poison? Did she really care? Not really. If it was poison, she would be able to rest in death probably. She didn’t really believe in an afterlife or gods or anything. Life is bad enough. If there’s an afterlife then I must be in hell. She only spared a moment to examine the thought, but all motivation to discover herself vanished. Was it a drug? If so what could it do to her. A myriad of images and knowledge followed that thought and she almost threw it away. She looked at the vial warily, and then forced her body to move.
“Thanks.” she said and then forced her sluggish body to move. She had wasted too much energy on her emotions. For now she was going to go find a relatively safe place, somewhere off the damned path. If she was going to go fall down from the drugs or water or whatever it was, she was going to at least do it in a better location. The drug could make something stop. Was it her exhaustion or was it her emotions or something else? Perhaps her fear of men? Well, it didn’t matter. She wouldn’t know for sure until she tried it, and she was far gone enough that she was willing to give it a go. When she’d found a good area with soft plush grass and a thicket, she examined the vial again. It only took her a moment to get up her courage this time. She quickly opened the vial and downed whatever was in it.
On her tongue the water was clear, crisp, and somehow cold. It was refreshing, and she felt as if energy was bubbling into her body and mind. It’s fizzy like soda bubbles she thought to herself, but she wasn’t referring to the water. She was referring to the energy she was starting to feel inside of her. The haze of exhaustion disappeared and she wished there was more. She was feeling far more alive now. Her sincere wonder at this sudden change calmed her mind and soothed her. For a moment she forgot about worrying or danger and simply revelled in this feeling. A thought intruded on this peace. If it only takes this much water to make me feel like this, how would it feel to have more? She turned her head to look for the cat. She had to find that cat. She needed more of this. She didn’t want this feeling to fade.
Who knows it can still be salvaged :P
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