Avatar of El Taco Taco

Status

Recent Statuses

6 yrs ago
Current 'I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet.'
7 likes
6 yrs ago
'There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster impersonating a human. Monstralization, maybe?'
2 likes
7 yrs ago
'If Zoey Ashe had known she was being stalked by a man who intended to kill her and then slowly eat her bones, she would've worried more about that and less about getting her cat off the roof.'
1 like
7 yrs ago
"And watch out for Molly. See if she does anything unusual. There’s something I don’t trust about the way she exploded and then came back from the dead like that."
7 likes
7 yrs ago
"We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?"
2 likes

Bio


"OK, I've just about had my FILL of riddle-asking, quest-assigning, insult-throwing, pun-hurling, hostage-taking, iron-mongering, smart-arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!" - CHARNAME, Baldur's Gate


Most Recent Posts

Finally! hopefully this isn't too underwhelming haha

Late Drakonis, 9:41 Dragon




Adarun had walked more in the past eight days than she had in all her time on the surface.

That was probably an exaggeration, but she wasn’t going to let a simple thing like the truth stop her. And, exaggeration or not, she’d certainly never walked so much in a single go. She’d trekked down the Frostbacks once before, yes, but she’d made judicious use of caravans and mounts once she’d reached the valleys of Ferelden. Ancestor’s tits, she could never have imagined just how vast the surface was. Sometimes it seemed like the world stretched on forever.

But eight straight days of walking was beginning to take its toll. Not that Adarun would dream of voicing this—sod it, she was a Marlen (even if she didn’t technically exist anymore), and she’d rather cut out her tongue than complain aloud. She kept her discomfort sealed behind lips pulled into a tight smile.

She’d never known a pleasure like kicking off her boots before though, so there was that. Adarun took her victories where she could.


It was dawn when the patrol crested the hills of the Hinterlands. Pale rose and gold light bloomed across neatly manicured farms, fog lingering with the chill of night. A stream bubbled merrily, carving switchbacks down to the valley below. Four years on the surface and sometimes she couldn’t believe her eyes. The Hinterlands were impossibly green, with massive trees straining towards the sky, as if their roots were tethering them from simply floating away.

“Maker’s breath,” someone whispered. Of course, they weren’t talking about the view. Adarun looked closer.

“Sodding hell,” she swore.

Rifts. And beyond that, smoke. Gone was the peaceful, verdant paradise; now all she could see was just how broken the region was. Even Haven hadn’t seemed quite so dire; she’d arrived a few weeks after the explosion at the Conclave, after the Herald had quieted the gaping maw in the sky. She’d seen rifts on her journey, certainly, and even had the pleasure of slitting a few demonic throats, but it was nothing like this.

“There’s so many,” a wiry elf, Orielle, murmured from somewhere behind her.

For the first time, Adarun truly understood just how dire things were. The surface was falling to pieces out here.


Their Lead Scout was quick to take charge. Adarun had been pleasantly surprised to find another dwarf among their ranks, let alone one leading the pack. Of course, this Inquisition seemed far more concerned with fixing things than getting hung up about race. Nothing like the world falling apart to bring people together, she supposed.

Harding found an expanse of rock to stretch out a map, gloved fingers directing attention to its features. Clearly, she knew the area, peppering assignments with useful observations. Their ranks thinned, handfuls of scouts finding each other and slipping off to conquer the fields and valleys. All this fuss to find one woman; maybe the Revered Mother pissed lyrium.

“Adarun,” Harding nodded in her direction. Adarun pulled her thoughts away from the edges of blasphemy. “Kivalien, Daltyn, Orielle—you’ll be pushing towards the Crossroads. Swing south with Ashwell’s unit—go east via the bridge,” her finger pressed against the map, before dragging east through the valleys. “Stay sharp.”

Adarun traced the route once more, committing it to memory. With a nod, she stepped back. A hand clapped on her shoulder and she turned her gaze up to the dark haired elf. Adarun’s lips quirked into a lopsided grin; they’d fallen into step with each other the past few days, swapping stories to whittle away the hours.

“I can’t get rid of you, can I?” Adarun quipped dryly. Orielle flashed a fiendish grin, stretching lanky limbs and taking a few swaggering steps towards the path.

“I’m like an adorable fungus,” she laughed, cocking her head to one side.

“Adorable,” Adarun repeated tonelessly. Scoffing, she lengthened her strides to catch up, throwing a pale glance about to land on their fellow scouts. She jerked her head in the universal gesture of ‘let’s go’. Touching the twin blades at her back (which she might have stolen borrowed from her family’s vault on her way topside—but, surely, Paragon Marlen would have wanted her well-armed) in reassurance, she turned her gaze towards the wild.
oh for fuck's sake

I'm like, halfway through a starter and I know /exactly/ what I want to write, but I've got a massive headache. I'll finish it first thing in the morn. Thanks so much for your endless patience, I am so, so sorry ;A;


BURNING BRIDGES FROM THE INSIDE OUT, ONE DAY I'LL BE STRONGER THAN MY OWN DOUBT
what did you think would happen when you put me in an unnatural space?

N A M E
Kalyani Madan
D A T E O F B I R T H
03 NOV 2149
P L A C E O F B I R T H
Marseille, France, Earth.
B I O L O G I C A L S E X
Female
B L O O D T Y P E
O+
H E I G H T
177 centimetres
W E I G H T
62 Kilograms
I M P L A N T S
L2


Kalyani hates her biotics.

Well, that's not quite right. Kalyani likes using her biotics. The ripple of eezo in her tissue, the way her skin burns as her corona flares to life, the rush of power when reality bends--that she'll never tire of.

It's just everything else. It's BAaT.

Her parents were just trying to help, she knows, but she can't help but hate their willingness to give her away. Conatix had promised they'd teach her. This was what was best for her, for humanity, they insisted. Their pretty words had won even Kalyani over. The idea of learning with others like her, training to be something greater, sounded wonderful.

Needless to say, BAaT didn't measure up to her expectations. 'Brain Camp' was a hilarious misnomer. It was no haven for bookworms like Kalyani; it was more a death by a thousand cuts. Her world narrowed from dreams of wandering the stars to the halls of Jump Zero. The incomprehensible emptiness of space left room for nothing else.

At least, she'd thought, she could go home when she came of age.

Upon reflection, that was rather naive. Five years of keeping her head down, of senselessly pushing herself to the brink, of trying to behave her way into freedom only made things worse. She'd excelled; Conatix had need of excellent mentors. And without a credit to her name, how exactly could she make her way back to Earth?

All this power and she can't get a fucking ride home.

--
All of my partners for being ridiculously patient with my erratic posting schedule. I don't deserve such lovely writing buddies <3
I always get a little weirded out to see people reading my threads. I really wish the whole "Users viewing this page" function didn't exist. I don't need to know who is potentially wasting their time judging my writing. Ughhhh.
Yesssss. Join me in cosplay hell.
It is amazing. Crazy expensive, but amazing. Luckily my husbandito is super into it now, so he's willing to fund my addiction. Hooray, enablers!
BLAMMO have the world's most delayed post. And even a ridiculous aesthetic set I made forever ago before cosplay consumed my life because I am a loser.

I left that shit super open ended, feel free to do whatever you like with it!
© 2007-2024
BBCode Cheatsheet