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Recent Statuses

6 yrs ago
Current 'I know the Goliath Fucking Bird-Eating Spider can't fly because if it could, it would have a different name entirely. We would call it "sir" because it would be the dominant species on the planet.'
7 likes
6 yrs ago
'There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster impersonating a human. Monstralization, maybe?'
2 likes
7 yrs ago
'If Zoey Ashe had known she was being stalked by a man who intended to kill her and then slowly eat her bones, she would've worried more about that and less about getting her cat off the roof.'
1 like
7 yrs ago
"And watch out for Molly. See if she does anything unusual. There’s something I don’t trust about the way she exploded and then came back from the dead like that."
7 likes
7 yrs ago
"We're talking about a tentacled flying lamp fucker, Dave. What are you prepared to call unlikely?"
2 likes

Bio


"OK, I've just about had my FILL of riddle-asking, quest-assigning, insult-throwing, pun-hurling, hostage-taking, iron-mongering, smart-arsed fools, freaks, and felons that continually test my will, mettle, strength, intelligence, and most of all, patience! If you've got a straight answer ANYWHERE in that bent little head of yours, I want to hear it pretty damn quick or I'm going to take a large blunt object roughly the size of Elminster AND his hat, and stuff it lengthwise into a crevice of your being so seldom seen that even the denizens of the nine hells themselves wouldn't touch it with a twenty-foot rusty halberd! Have I MADE myself perfectly CLEAR?!" - CHARNAME, Baldur's Gate


Most Recent Posts

Bumperooni.
Bump.
bumperooni
In Please Stay 6 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay
I've missed you and this game and I'm so grateful for your patience love ♥️♥️♥️

I'm doing really well 😊 my life has really turned around. I love my job, my roommates, and I even started dating again. I didn't know I could be this happy 😍
Reformatted and updated the main post with what I'm currently looking for.
Itty bitty post! Did we want to time skip?
"Sometimes they play doubles, but it's not like Quidditch teams," Sadie explained, before clicking her tongue in irritation. "It's so annoying. If I had a phone, I'd just show you a video. I'm seriously having withdrawals. I mean, don't get me wrong, magic is amazing, I'm happy to be here, but it's so frustrating being disconnected like this. It's going to be weird going back home for the holidays. I still haven't figured out what I'm going to tell my friends about where I've been."

"I hadn't thought about that," Seine admitted, rubbing his chin. "My dad's a half blood, so we have some muggle stuff, but we don't really talk a lot with that side of the family."

"Brennan made it really clear we're not allowed to talk about this with our old friends. We can tell mum and dad, but that's it," Sadie said grimly. Brennan's old friends had stopped coming round the past few years. She couldn't blame them; from their perspectives, Brennan had ghosted them. Sadie was pretty sure it was going to happen to her as well, and she didn't much like that thought. Sadie pushed past it. That was a problem for future Sadie.
In Please Stay 6 yrs ago Forum: 1x1 Roleplay
"You might feel weird but you look like a million galleons, I promise," Katie squeezed Ryan's arm encouragingly as they left her room. It had been so long--too long--since they had gone out and had a girl's night, and Katie felt a twinge of guilt at the thought. Ryan had a bad habit of not taking time for herself, and Katie had been remiss in her best friend duties of dragging her out anyways. Resolving to correct this oversight, Katie stuck out her tongue at Charlie's complaints.

"You can't rush art, Charlie!"

Still, he made a good point. It was already a quarter past seven, and she wasn't sure how long the Falcons would be content with the Cauldron before the pub crawl began in earnest. With a twist of a heel, Katie apparated to the pub.

The Cauldron was practically full to bursting when the three of them popped into existence. It was usually busy on Friday nights, before the Falcons decided to show up and take over. Now, between celebrating Quidditch players and the press, the Cauldron was standing room only. Katie cleared a path for her and her companions to the bar with judicious use of elbows.

"Hannahhhhh!" Katie gushed to her fellow blonde, who was handling the crowd at the bar quite well. She offered Katie a smile and a quizzical look. "Have I told you lately how cute you are?"

"It's been a minute," Hannah laughed, clearly used to Katie's general Katieness. "What can I get started for you?"

"Firewhisky, neat!"

"Will you promise not to break anything?"

"Nope!"

Hannah shot her a dry look. Katie gave her most charming smile, batting her eyelashes for good measure. After a long moment, Hannah relented, and Katie was soon rewarded with her drink. As Hannah took Ryan and Charlie's orders, Katie scanned the pub, cataloging the chaos. Fenrir was speaking with Gutaale and a reporter from Quidditch Weekly, but even their straight laced captain seemed much more relaxed. The rest of the Falcons were decidedly less well behaved. Tabtiang and Meza were currently egging on Llewellyn to shotgun dragons mead (which was a hilariously terrible idea), to the cheers of friends and fans. Someone had tacked up a massive Falmouth Banner across the wall. Pucey's doing, maybe?

"Kitty cat!"

Speak of the doxie. She'd met eyes with Pucey from across the room, and Katie waved him over. After several moments, the towheaded chaser had made his way through the crowd, rather impressively managing not to spill his pint.

"Aw, did you dress up just for me?" Pucey offered a shit-eating grin, and Katie couldn't help but laugh.

"Of course I did, Pucey-poo, you know my heart beats just for you. Ryan, this is Adrian. He's only kind of sort of terrible."

"Hey, I'm definitely at least mostly terrible," Pucey shot Katie a look of mock outrage, but flashed his teeth in a grin to Ryan. "Nice to meet you. You're Ayden's mum yeah? Good kid. And holy shit, Charlie! Last time I saw you, you were thoroughly kicking our asses at Hogwarts. How've you been?"

Katie had to admit--she was really glad Pucey had made the team. He may have been a Slytherin, but Pucey had made his opinions on 'blood elitist bullshit' quite clear in the war, and, more than that, he was just genuinely friendly. At least she could get along with one of her fellow chasers. Katie wrinkled her nose, searching the crowd for Flint. As much as she hated the idea, she was going to have to figure out how to work with her arch-nemesis eventually. She seriously doubted they'd ever be mates, but they'd at least have to learn how to fake that for the press.
I feel like a whole new woman. I had no idea I could be this happy, that life could be this calm and steady and good ♥️♥️♥️ I should have dumped the scumbag years ago.
It's been wild! I got divorced! I sold my house! I've been a bit swamped with work and figuring out my new life, but I'm back! Post should come later tonight <3
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