A half smile formed on his lips when she mentioned his father. It was hard not to miss the news reports about his death, but the fact that Ellie was willing to express sympathy was kind. Tanaka was never one for encouraging any of his three children to have relationships that would "deter them from the work of the future", but he didn't go out of his way to discourage them, which enabled his children to form social attachments. For some reason he seemed to frown upon Kaz's relationship with Ellie more so than anyone else he had formed an attachment to, going so far as to tell Kaz a few times during his senior year of high school that "the girl" wasn't "worth pursuing at your underdeveloped age". He didn't listen, which upset Tanaka visibly once or twice, but thankfully Kaz's mother served as an excellent buffer and pacifier; in fact, it was the much brighter in disposition Haruna Ujohiri that happily hosted Ellie and her family at Kaz's old family home a handful of times.
"Thank you for your sympathy. Father died very suddenly, but he had lived a full life, one that I believe he does not regret where he resides." Kaz placed himself next to the swing, suit jacket rubbing up against the pole of the swing set(note: dry clean this for later). He listened contentedly to Ellie's description of her new life as veterinarian and that she was indeed happy. Good. That's all he ever wanted for her.
It was her scrunching nose that deterred Kaz from attempting to discuss his feelings about where they had left things, laughing slightly as he told her:
"That EXACT face was the one you had when I showed you what I painted senior year of high school. Don't you remember? It was that very awkward portrait of a skeleton dangling off a cliff. For some reason I thought it was an ironic commentary on life and you..." He laughed more heartily this time.
"You had that same face! I don't remember what you said exactly, but the expression was enough to convince me that my rebellion aspirations of artistry were nothing but a pipe dream." Taking off his suit jacket and laying it gently on the ground(dry cleaning it anyway), he slumped against the pole, winding up in a seated position, legs out in front, hands on the ground.
"Maybe art would've been a better career choice." A sardonic snicker before changing subjects, wanting to get at least a small portion of his feelings on the subject off his chest:
"Right, yes, I wanted to find you. I needed to, really." Another clearing of the throat, a momentary pause, then:
"After Father passed, his will stated that Juntao was to be promoted to CEO in his stead, which left the position of CFO to me. Needless to say the board of directors wasn't thrilled with a 38 year old and a 32 year old taking the reigns of a multibillion dollar operation, but if you remember anything about my older brother, you'll recall that he has the ability to convince a stone barrier to melt if he needed to get through. He managed to convince enough of the board to allow the current familial structure to remain in place for the fiscal year and if growth wasn't evident under our reign, then we would vacate our positions. A lot rides on our success and..." He trailed off, chuckling.
"Sorry, there's a point to this background, I promise." He took a breath, then continued:
"When the responsibility of Father's company passed onto me, I was hit with a sudden realization that I had risen to the position that he had wanted me to attain...and that saddened me because I knew what I gave up to pursue this might have cheated me out of so many other better alternatives." He wanted to reach out for her hand, but suppressed the urge. Waaayyy too soon.
"I know my obligations are to my father's company, but that doesn't mean I can't repair some of the damage I caused. I want..." He swallowed a hard lump in his throat.
"I wanted to apologize. For everything. And to maybe, just maybe, ask to be a part of your life again." He quickly added:
"I'm not asking for your hand in marriage or anything and I know that even trying to be friends again might be too much to handle, but I know I'd love to try." There, he had said it.