Well, Grezola had effectively resigned herself to death. Brushing off Ainra? Whatever, she didn't care too much about the prophetic shit. Outright showing direct spite without just cause? That bitch is asking for it. And finally, the fact that this map Lark had sent them to this crotchety old woman to help them with was solved by just opening and reading the fucking thing? Oho, not settling her already-shortened temper well.
"Excuse me, Jenso, if I may have a word with the prophetess..." Ainra gently shouldered past Jenso, and cleared her throat. "YOU WANT TO GOAD ME ONE MORE FUCKING TIME YOU WRINKLED OLD BITCH?! BECAUSE YOUR SHRIVELED UP PROPHETIC CUNT IS ABOUT TO GET KICKED SO HARD YOU'LL BE FUCKING TASTING IT! I AIN'T GONNA STAND HERE AND LISTEN TO THIS SHIT, AND NOW I KNOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS READ THE FUCKING MAP, I DON'T SEE A SINGLE REASON TO NOT RIP YOUR ARMS OFF, CHUCK YOU IN THE OCEAN, AND SEE IF YOU CAN STILL SWIM!" This entire speech was adorned with Ainra's skin flushing with anger, her claws jutting out seemingly more than usual, and a hint of steam rising from the corners of her mouth.
She looked quite feral, and sounded pretty serious about the whole ripping-off-arms bit. In fact, she decided to go ahead and prove she was serious by giving Grezola a seriously nasty left hook right on the jaw.
It wasn't funny, but deciding against going to Hyznia turned out to be incredibly fortunate for the Divers, and very unfortunate for the CMAS. Having any sort of social standing above Divers, who cherished freedom, took more than just organizational skills and charisma.
It took power, that vagabonds and wanderers could respect. That pillar was several meters thick. These CMAS magi were not. Even without using a flaming pillar for ammunition, cutting through several groups of foes at a time was a breeze; the hard part was not injuring the Divers in his wake. It was why he told them to converge towards the center. As the Divers forced themselves away, he only became deadlier, taking down dozens upon dozens of them. Eight hundred CMAS, especially mixed with the officers who were more used to leading and strategy than true combat, was a tough fight, but it wasn't impossible for Alvios to handle; just tedious, especially with having to worry about catching other Divers with the Ki waves from his blade. The lack of Luke was also making this far more difficult, as now he had to make the decision between helping the Divers fighting in the center, and defending the southeastern pillar.
He let loose a heavy sigh of frustration, and carved his way through towards the central square. His mind wandered as he made his presence further known, the CMAS who were trying to organize themselves against Par's formation lost their own in fear and chaos, the Head Diver showing that he didn't need a massive pillar to make a massive impact against their numbers.
If this place falls, we can always rebuild; it's more important to protect the Divers now. Who knows... maybe I'll be able to pick out the traitor once this fight is over. Good thing I waited on Tinon's little errand; without Luke or myself here, this place would already be history. Tinon's timing couldn't have been worse... just like the timing of this... Alvios' mind hesitated, but he shook it off. This fight was getting to him. He had no right to suspect Tinon of anything...right?
Follow the yellow-shirted guy! Who...broke down a door!
Well, Ainra's introduction, pep-talk, and snacking were finished. Jenso had gone ahead and asked Lark about where to go, Lark handed Jenso a "magical map of fates woo~", and told them to go talk to someone whose name sounded like a mixture between a monster and a condiment. Well, that was fine. Jenso was already rushing towards the door, and she followed...
...Until he stopped for a moment, to kick the bloody door off of its hinges to leave the room. "Wait, why did you kick the door open? H-Hey, are you sure you should be holding onto the Map of Fangs or whatever that treehugger called it?!" She bolted out after him, both entertained by his collateral damage and wondering if it would be their inevitable downfall.
Alvios was in the front lines, but was focused less on the pillar itself, and more along the lines of protecting the Divers present. Diver's Paradise was extremely important, but his priority was towards the Divers. These were all CMAS forces, organized, focused, and numbered. The Divers were panicked, and some of them just not suited to fighting in groups. He wanted to win, but he also wanted to be prepared to lose and retreat, with as many surviving Divers as possible ready to do the same, if it came to that end.
He'd at least put that end off as long as he could, though. Luke would be pissed if Alvios took the safest route for the Divers, and he didn't want to disappoint. As he looked at the inferno surrounding the pillar, he made a risky decision, but one that might pay off. It was safe for them to sacrifice a single pillar.
"Divers! Turn and bear down towards the Northwest pillar! Pincer the CMAS magi over there; they're holding up better than we are! Head straight for the magi and riflemen, and tear down that barrier! Consider this pillar fallen! I'll hold this side off!" With that said, and many Divers wondering how the hell he planned on holding the entire force of CMAS beginning to surround the pillar, his body glowed faintly with Ki for a moment, before he lept up to the flaming portion of the pillar, and straight-up cut out a massive chunk of the blazing pillar, and with another strike of Ki, smacked it straight back at the group of magi that had cast the spell in the first place like a meteor. The entire structure shook and groaned audibly, but now Alvios was standing in the place of the pillar he had cut out, arms crossed, and the remaining flames roaring around him. He looked like a god among Divers and a demon to the CMAS.
"GO!" he ordered, giving the CMAS that had just attacked the pillar very little time to comprehend what was happening as he cut out another massive chunk and broadsided it into another group of the invading CMAS. Some debris fell from the segment of the Paradise above him, but he was using intimidation and surprise as the ultimate distraction for his allies. Plenty of Arcadia's magi didn't even believe in Ki. This was going to be a fine lesson.
"We may lose our home, but we won't lose our hearts! Diver's Paradise is a place of freedom! Should it fall, we shall rebuild! And to the traitor who lead these CMAS dogs here, I thank you; now we can show you and your masters our strength!" Without Luke around, Alvios had to inspire them. The way to inspire was to speak from the heart. And with fire dancing before him, his furious heart was fueled by a single question:
Who betrayed Diver's Paradise to Arcadia?
And was Tinon going to be mad about him actively cutting apart a pillar to use as a weapon?
"I can't tell if you're just enthusiastic or patronizing me, Lark...but whatever, it works out. It's been a bit too long since I've had a chance to cut loose and break some bones." Ainra stretched her arms and back once, before spinning around on a heel to face her two accomplices in heroism.
And how stark the contrast was. This Jenso guy seemed just a tad overenthusiastic about helping some stranger with an unknown threat, alongside some other strangers he had known for less than a day. Still, he seemed like the type who really enjoyed some roughhousing. She could get behind that, and cracked a toothy grin. "Alright then big man, my name's Ainra. Ainra Maeti. Good to see a fellow patron of vio--erm, I mean justified violence."
On the other hand though, was the other 'gal in the gang. Reiley, who didn't seem pleased about this. The more reasonable type. Didn't seem to want to have a part in any of this, but Ainra was still skeptical herself, so it made sense. However, Reiley mentioned something else that bothered her more. "Hey, what's this now, bookworm? Look, ignore what the treehugger over there says, you don't have to join in on this, but... Ainra have a strange mix of putting one hand on Reiley's shoulder, and the other of jabbing her gently on the other arm, perhaps not quite as gently as intended. "Don't go putting yourself down, Reiley. You won't know how strong or helpful you're gonna be if you don't give yourself a chance!"
With that, there was only one last thing to take care of. The strange little flying fox fluttering about. Ainra turned from the others once her little introduction was done, waited for a moment, then leapt at it, snatching it out of the air. A quick twist of the wrist broke the thing's neck, a quick spit of flame from her mouth charred its flesh, and a satisfied sigh escaped her as she began chewing on the still-burning meal.
- - - - (Personal Details) First Name: Buttercup Last Name: N/A Age: Very old. That's pretty old. Sex: None, is often referred to as male. Home Nation: Illon Appearance: A large hulking figure, Buttercup could be confused for a human from a distance, but up close this misconception is swiftly dispelled. He stands at nearly 3 meters tall, and is completely made of metal. Where a normal humman's face would be is an ancient Illon war mask with no flesh behind it, a fierce expression forged from steel. The rest of his body is mostly hidden behind the large brown tattered robes he clothes himself in, but it also is made of steel. Armoured overlapping plate give an aesthetic similar to heavy plate armour, or some of the more traditional forms of power armour. Hundreds of tiny nicks, scrathches and dents cover this golem, and the entire design appears severely aged. However, it is quite clearly still functional.
It would suck if you were RPing a nonfunctional golem. Piles of materials are poor conversationalists.
Personality: Contrary to his fearsome appearance, Buttercup is a gentle soul. He enjoys plants and nature, and often enjoys calmly sitting around quiet places. He finds humans to be rash, unthinking, and far too violent, but he does enjoy their company. He is fiercely loyal to those that earn his trust. His age, as well as his nature, have made him very confident. He will casually walk into enemy fire, and although he's quite capable of withstanding most attacks he doesn't quite understand his limits. He also lacks the self-preservation instinct of a human. He wishes to continue living if possible, but will gladly lay down his life for others.
>>>Thinks humans are too violent and unthinking. >>>Confidently walks into battle with 0 shits given. Like a true badass.
History: While the current Arcadian nation is at peace, this was not always the case. Illon in particular was a warlike nation, always attempting to expand it's borders. And in times of war, weapons of war are created. In the midst of one of their many conflicts, the Illon government attempted to create an army of superhuman golems to fight their war. These nameless automotons were forged by master smiths and given life by their current archmages. They were implanted with the body parts of dying soldiers, artificially filled with Ki and a number of powerful enchantments. This kept the dying 'alive', to some extent, although it erased their minds. Unfortunately, most of the created golems were driven insane by the process, unusable or dangerously unstable. Buttercup was among the few usable prototypes.
I like this. A lot. It fits in pretty well. Ki is pretty much a theory or even rumor to the majority of the nations, so experimenting with the unknown is always fun.
After one of the golems destroyed the lab, any attempt at making new golems was halted. However, those golems that remained were employed as shock troops, charging through enemy lines. They were highly effective, which later spurred several less successful attempts at copying the original work. But like all things, these must end. Buttercup was dismissed from the army once the Arcadian Alliance was set to law, and was to be 'retired' in a laboratory. With no more use for it on the battlefield, it would be dissected on the table in order to make way for more advanced magical science. And while several of it's companions were successfully detained, Buttercup felt the need to assert it's individuality at this point, and abandoned it's makers.
Teknoh would probably have had some similar automatons at this point, thanks to the living steel, but it's perfectly reasonable to just say Arcadia and Hyznia would give a failed golem attempt, and that Illon were the only ones to make a fully sentient batch. Not a complaint really, just something to keep in mind in case you planned on expanding upon this.
Since then it's roamed the jungles and forests of Arcadia, wandering the dangerous wastelands. It became a reclusive hermit, learning to enjoy the calm peacefulness of nature. Many Divers came to know it, and it's peaceful nature became well known. It enjoyed the company of the divers well enough, and would on occasion assist them when they met. However, eventually it felt the need to once more become part of society. Heading towards a city in Arcadia, Buttercup was initially treated with fear and revulsion. However, the newly formed S-S recognized it as a potential asset, and decided to recruit Buttercup. Glad for an opportunity to rejoin society in a less violent role, Buttercup became a part of S-S, and aimed to assist them in their many surveys.
Less violent, ho boy, is Buttercup going to be disappointed.
Occupation: Junker
- - - - (Power Matrix) Primary Focus: Neither Magical Capabilities: None Body Modifications: Buttercupt is a golem, an artifical lifeform. While containing an organic heart, it's main body is composed of steel. It's skin consists of a series of armoured plates heavier than even plate armour, and it's internal 'organs' consist of balls of rare materials covered in runes and arcane scribbles. It is far stronger than a normal human being, capable of shattering bone with it's bear hands and punching a man's head straight off of their body. While in it's prime it was also more agile than most humans, but it's age has made it slow. Although it's practised movements still make it a dangerous fighter. It requires no food, water, or oxygen in order to survive due to it's nature as a unique lifeform not based on living organic components. If it's heart is destroyed, or significant damage is dealt to the arcane orbs contained within it's chest, it will die. It does not bleed, however, and damage to it's abdomen, limbs or head won't affect it in any significant manner. It also has a blade that can be extended from the wrist of it's right arm.
Does it have a means of regenerating/repairing itself? Just curious, because if some heavy duty stuff comes along, it's gonna still need those limbs to fight. This is another case of curiosity over complaint though.
Weapons and Equipment: A massive greatsword, forged many years ago from stainless steel. Too heavy to be wielded by a normal human, this fearsome weapon was once covered in runes that would wreathe the sword in flames. Nowadays these enchantments are too damaged to work properly, and the blade relies purely on it's size and weight to rip through foes.
Probably not hard to get that blade back at full potential. Maybe it just doesn't want to damage the flowers.
Specialties: A highly skilled fighter, with centuries of practise. Also, a surprisingly skilled botanist, having made a point to remember the names of all the flowers in the known world.
That's a lot of flowers. It's also not unreasonable. No-Man's Land is pretty vague on being "part of the known world" though, since most of it is completely uncharted and even unexplored. Yay flowers.
A vastly more reasonable, unique, and enjoyable character. I really didn't have anything bad to say about this one, and I don't think Tex will have any complaints that I can think of. Once he gives the thumbs-up I'd say toss it in the characters tab.
Anything I think needs to be changed, or I have questions/comments about, will be in red. My personal comments and concerns (and wisecracks it seems) will be in blue.
@thewizardguyHo boy, where do I begin on trying to even think about accepting this...
Alright, let's start with your History. This was all perfectly fine and dandy, but there was a sentence in here that suddenly began a downward spiral into the rest of your sheet;
Unfortunately their efforts were for naught.
Right here. This is where the nightmare begins.
Since there's a lot, I'm just going to quote your entire sheet, and highlight the areas that need to be "tweaked" in red. My comments will be in blue.
- - - - (Personal Details) First Name: Quinn, 'Loopy' Last Name: Chaucer Age: Probably around 32 Sex: Male Home Nation: Appearance: Tall and gaunt with surprisingly pale skin. Deep-set green-blue eyes, and constantly messy long black hair. Usually attired in clothes that were once fancy, but have been worn far too long. Long black coats, felt jackets, and ornate ties. He wears sturdy leather boots that contrast the rest of his appearance, reinforced with metal. A large leather belt further adds a touch of 'survivalist' to his entire appearance, complemented by a collection of knives and pouches. He will often also wear a large backpack, although this is common among Divers. Personality: An interesting fellow is the polite way too put it. Quinn seems to constantly be busy with at least three things at any one time, and two out of those are invisible to the human eye. He's twitchy, easily distracted, and occasionally talks to people that aren't there. He has a bad habit of completely forgetting he was talking to someone, engaging in some other task in the middle of a conversation. When something in the real world manages to catch his attention, however, he almost transforms into a different person. He becomes single-mindedly determined, enthusiastic, and strangely childlike. He often has trouble expressing himself to others, making him a bit of a social outcast, but he seems to simultaneously be oblivious to his social status or the opinions (and occasionally existence) of others. History: Quinn is what is often referred to as a Natural. A prodigy, a savant. Magic comes as naturally to him as breathing to the rest of us. He's been able to use magic as long as he can remember, and can't imagine a world without it. And because his magic comes from his innate talent rather than study or knowledge, it falls into an area barely touched by modern magi-science. Born in a small village on the border of Arcadia, Quinn was an oddity from the moment his powers were discovered. Rather than taking the general distrust from the other villagers to heart, his parents decided they'd set him up to become an Archmage. They sent him to a large magic school to hone his talents, spending what little money they had to ensure that he would be taught by the best. Unfortunately their efforts were for naught. Quinn's magic was unusual, and even the professors were baffled by it. He quickly became the subject of study and research, a strange reversal of roles for a school.
The pressure coming from his parents and the inquisitive attitude of his supposed teachers pushed Quinn into a bit of a juvenile stage. He wished to impress his parents with his powers, but he was unable to learn anything from the academy. The rules they taught simply didn't apply, the theories they developed simply weren't relevant. As such he began experimenting with his powers, performing ever more dangerous stunts. He skipped classes and avoided his fellow students as he teleported around, becoming more proficient as he became more strange. His confidence rocketed him inevitably into the sun as he rushed towards cataclysm. One day he was experimenting with the fabric of reality, and he managed to open a portal to what he calls the 'anti-world'. This would be known by others as the Abyss, or the Void, and the results were drastic. The Void Energy leaking from the portal was enough to nearly instantly kill him, and wiped out a significant portion of the academy. Many lost their magical abilities altogether, were killed, or found certain parts of their body rendered mysteriously unusable. All plant life in or near the academy died out that day.
Okay, so this just can't. Teleporting is already an established magic, that almost nobody can perform. Archmagi don't even practice it due to risk vs reward. Experimenting with the fabric of reality is also not something one just does. It would take preparation, be noticed, and probably have you thrown into prison, stripped of your powers, or just executed. Ignoring that, I'm not too fond of the anti-world bit, considering the already established theory of Void would also render your statement of The rules they taught simply didn't apply, the theories they developed simply weren't relevant. null. Void isn't "from another dimension", it's the outright lack of existence. I can't accept ANYTHING involving Void early on in the RP, and it's 99% likely that there will be no characters using it to any degree.
By luck or Genius, Quinn survived, if barely. But he did so by leaving this world behind. He banished himself to a different plane of existence, and in his absence the cataclysmic portal he had created closed. This incident caused Quinn to lose himself in a labyrinth of different dimensions, and he spent many years there before he found his way home. When he returned he found the world had presumed him dead, and his parents had passed on in his absence. Over twenty years had passed in this world, and yet he had aged but ten. In addition his exile had changed him, leaving his mind constantly distracted. His powers were greater than ever, and he had vastly expanded his understanding of his magic. But at the unfortunate cost of much of his sanity.
So let's just say I go ahead and accept that you happened to portal around and dimension hop into a bunch of places where you just happened to survive, with no terrifying repercussions besides your mind being on the fritz, and that you leaving just closed up your whoopsie-daisy cataclysm portal. No reasonable aspect of authority would ignore this. You would be the poster boy of "Why you shouldn't be a dumbass," and your return would send off red flags from every side of Arcadia.
Occupation: Diver turned Junker. Takes jobs in transportation of goods and people when not exploring the wasteland, as well as spending some time writing and researching. He's considered amiably harmless by those who specialize in trade or communication.
See above; you would be a posterboy for anyone who has any authority in Arcadia. You go Junker and involve yourself with anyone who isn't a Diver, you'd be megakilled. It's the upgraded version of killed.
- - - - (Power Matrix) Primary Focus: Arcane (mysterious) Magical Capabilities: - Teleportation Most prominent among the applications of his ability is the capability to teleport. Quinn's magic manipulates the fabric of reality to open portals to other locations, or even other dimensions. He can also choose to instantly transport himself and whatever he's holding/wearing, not requiring the creating of a full portal. He can travel to locations he hasn't visited, but he has to have some idea of where they are, and doing so is significantly harder than teleporting to known locations. When teleporting to a location within sight, it's as easy to him as walking. Easier, even. Hence his habit of constantly teleporting himself forward a few steps instead of walking.
Alright, I'm going to do another, "Ignoring the established teleporting already being a theory and magic" bit. Why would I allow anyone to have extremely casual teleporting? I don't think you realize just how broken (easy) teleporting is. You get attacked, you teleport away from just about ANYTHING, appear behind them, and stab them in the back. Or grab them and teleport their arm, leg, heart, head, whatever you want, right off their body! Or just throw them into another dimension, because it seems to be a recurring theme for you.
- Arsenal Over the course of his studies and travels, Quinn has found a small empty 'bubble' between dimensions. He uses this place to store weapons, food, spare clothing, and anything else he might need. According to some, he has a house there as well, although he dismisses this claim as preposterous whenever it's proposed to him. He can move anything small enough for him to hold in his hands into this pocket dimension, and he can return it to him at will. The bubble contains no air or life, and as such foodstuff sent here will never decay. It will still get old, however, and can become distasteful if kept here too long. He also can't keep living things here without them suffocating. Despite this he is able to live within this dimension by 'teleporting air into his lungs' as he states it.
So, this is basically an over complicated hammerspace. Just have your deus ex machinas on hand whenever the situation calls. Hide in your "bubble between dimensions" (which would be considered Void, and would kill you,) and just avoid any bad situation. Oh, and it's also a handy storage for those various sharp objects that you could stab people with when you teleport right next to them past any defenses they have.
- Reality Vision As part of his natural grasp of this magic, Quinn is able to 'see' the fabric of reality itself. He is instinctively aware of any teleportation, holes in reality, or demon summoning happening near him. He can also see damage tot the fabric of reality, and the Void. One of the main applications of this ability is to 'intercept' incoming teleporters or demons, and loop their portals back in on themselves.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So let me get this straight; not only can you teleport, but you can fuck over anyone trying to use your already-overpowered ability, and any other nasty tricks someone might use to even have a glimmer of hope of circumventing it, and hit the magic "Nope" button. You can also see the "fabric of reality." What does that even mean? And I've already done enough griping about anything involving Void for now.
- Void Scarred His encounter with the void has left a strange mark on Quinn's body. A strange sliver of Void resides within him, constantly feeding off of his Ki and maintaining itself in a semi-stable state. This leaves Quinn sickly and pale, vulnerable to disease and quite weak. He's constantly ill, and ki-based healing magic seems useless on him. It does have a slight upside, though. This 'scar' leaves him strangely resistant to other sources of magic, although far from immune. He's also hard to sense with magical abilities as his presence is 'dampened' by the scar, eating up his natural energies.
Okay so the Void isn't a parasite; it's the spreading absence of existence. A magical and physical black hole. You don't stuff it with Ki and resolve the issue. In fact, this should just kill you outright with your circumstance, because there isn't any explanation as to WHY this isn't killing you. No unheard of magical safeguard, no warping of reality. None of which I would allow in the early stages of this RP, because there isn't any established countermeasure to Void. In a strage twist of fate, if there was any semblance of reasoning as to why this isn't killing you, I would actually deliberate and negotiate as to making this viable.
- Reality Claws This is Quinn's main offensive ability. By using his ability to teleport everything he touches to random locations, his hands become lethal weapons. His fingers gain the ability to tear through steel plates, as the metal is seperated into tiny fragments and scattered across the globe. Unfortunately it does have a weakness. He isn't able to use this technique to transport living beings, as he's only able to transport living beings in one piece. He also needs to touch his target to apply it to them.
Why should I even. You can already teleport. So now, instead of even needing to stab someone or teleport pieces of them off, you can just put a hand on them, and hell, teleport them to your "bubble between dimensions" and let them suffocate to death. Inanimate objects also mean nothing because of this, because you can just teleport past any sort of reasonable defenses.
Unless you mean that you can only teleport living beings from the anime/manga series One Piece, in which case I'm still going to decline this ability.
Body Modifications: Quinn once got a mechanical eye, because he felt like it. It doesn't really do anything, not even augment his vision. It just looks cool.
I ain't even mad anymore. This is just stupid for the sake of being stupid it seems. Is this entire character sheet an April Fool's Joke?
Weapons and Equipment: Quinn keeps an entire armoury in his Arsenal, although he isn't capable of properly using many of the weapons he holds. Basically, he almost always has what he needs for any particular situation.
I already said my gripes about this above. No deus ex machina, "Don't worry guys I have everything we need in here" hole.
Specialties: Quinn has an array of surprising skills. He's a rather competent botanist, a great cook, highly knowledgeable on the etiquette of many foreign countries, and knows a variety of languages. His exposure to the world of trade and transport has also left him a surprisingly capable merchant and haggler, as well as a capable cheater in games of cards and dice. His powers just make it easier. This is in addition to a number of skills he claims to have, which have no bearing on this reality.
So you're telling me the pseudo-Schizophrenic, sick, and magically-insane man is good at talking with people?
So overall, your entire character sheet is a joke. It's overpowered, nonsensical, trying too hard to be "different," and inconsistent. And to be honest, it's quite a shame. I was enjoying it when I began, the personality, appearance matching the circumstances of his being a prodigy forced into high-end academies... and then it all just spiraled into nails hammering into my brain. I became disappointed. You took an interesting character concept and turned it into an unreasonable mess, without any regards to power scaling, established lore, logic, or just outright being fun. Nobody wants to RP with someone that has the answer to everything and takes away any semblance of thrill out of combat.
I feel like I committed a murder there's so much blood here.