Hepburn

𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐛 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐞

Hiya, I'm still alive. C would probably be for the best, at this point.

𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐛 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐞

𝙳𝚊𝚗𝚎 𝙳𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚍
𝙵𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚢 - 𝟷𝟾:𝟶𝟸 𝙿𝙼

There was a soft hum in Dane’s ears as he stood idly beside the grey tables with a thousand different plates of food on them. The sounds of summer all mixed together in his head: people talking, bugs flying past, birds chirping, cars in the distance. The old lady managing the whole thing buzzed around in a panic as she arranged plates and napkins and whatever else went into a block party. Seeing as they had to contribute something, Dane had brought a meager peace offering in the form of a garden salad with a fruit vinaigrette. Yeah, it was kinda basic and low effort, but nobody can complain about the presence of a salad. It was the most benign food in existence.

… What do you even do at a block party besides stand there awkwardly? Dane wasn’t an unsociable person. He had friends already! Kyle from the gym was cool and they would definitely talk to each other again at least one more time. Sure, he’s a bit standoffish, but in college you can just get drunk at some dude’s house and meet people that way. Getting fucked up would probably be frowned upon by their new neighbors, though. So what do you do? Make small-talk about the weather? Describe how the sickly summer heat was already starting to get annoying? Ask weirdly specific questions that imply a vague and ominous tragedy to come?

Looking around again, Dane couldn’t help but feel weird. He was the youngest adult and oldest kid. Some part of him felt like he should be living in a different state, staying in dorms to go to his dream college, but here he was. He didn’t feel like he belonged at the kid’s table but talking to the 46-year-old brain surgeons felt even stranger, so Dane decided that the best course of action would be to do neither and go stand near his family. Unfortunately, everyone else seemed to be doing their own things too, and Julia was the only one he had vaguely kept an eye on. She was still within eyeshot, so Dane sauntered (yes, sauntered, hands in pockets and everything) over to the yard where the kids were playing. Some dude was sitting nearby them, making sure the children didn’t tear each other apart limb from limb, and fortunately he seemed to be college-aged. The only natural thing to do was to creep on over beside him and stand there looking as cool as possible.

“That your sister?” Dane vaguely pointed at the group of kids busy with an intense game of make-believe. Immediately he regretted asking that question, seeing as it would be kinda creepy if one of them wasn’t his sister, but you know what? Baby steps. It’s best not to linger on your mistakes. Dane cleared his throat and continued in the most fourth-grade way possible: “I’m Dane. I just moved here with my family. The Donalds. Got any advice for the new kids?” He makes kind of a constipated face. "Nevermind. You don't have to answer."

𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐛 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐞

Changelog:
02/10/18 - Posted first draft.
03/10/18 - Finished writing family relations. Changed formatting. Added to bio a bit. Changed quote. other minor edits.
11/10/18 - Added post index for posterity.

Post Index

#1 - Dane Donald: Block Party Part 1

Dane Donald

Dane Donald

20. Male. Currently ignoring his gayness. Hopelessly single as a result. 𝙷𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚢𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚋 𝙻𝚊𝚗𝚎 𝚁𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝.

“I don't wanna let you love somebody else but me, so what's it gonna be?”
― Shura, 'What's It Gonna Be?'

Problem solver. Engineering major.

Some people say that you should become an engineer if you want to improve peoples’ lives. Really, why else would you dedicate your whole life to fixing shit if not to help people? Well, for Dane, it’s not quite an altruism thing as much as it is… just a thing. Maybe he finds a strange satisfaction in being able to control things on a grander scale. Maybe he just has a desperate need to change the world somehow. It’s probably not that deep, though-- Dane’s just the kind of guy that always needs to be doing something. Standing still is aggravating to him; the silence at the dinner table is infuriating. He’s the friend who tells you to break up with your shitty boyfriend, and then you get angry at him for a couple weeks before realizing he was right all along.

Dane is pretty good at school. Not that he’s particularly book smart, nor was he ever very popular, but he is specifically good at doing what the teachers want. Always the first done, always getting generically good grades. He never saw classes as an opportunity to learn. Instead, everything is always just a problem to solve. An obstacle in the way to some idealized future he has in mind. Whether this is really a good or bad thing is up for debate, but either way, Dane was a leader who had a passion for power.

Oh, he works out by the way. Low-key jacked. It’s a personal satisfaction thing. Really, he couldn’t care less what others thought of his appearance. It’s just that exercising complete control over his body is so… satisfying, y’know? Perfectly cut nails. Flawless teeth. It’s a bit creepy, to be honest, but nobody has told him that yet.

Random hobbies include: meticulously planning the perfect meals, judging people on Yahoo Answers, and watching those weird “top ten worst investments” kind of videos on YouTube.

Controlling. Neurotic.

Dane joined hockey way back in elementary school. His father was a hockey player, so it was only natural that his first-born son would follow in his footsteps. Hell, Dane was a natural. It went great, at least up ‘till highschool. He ended up the team captain and everybody started hating him for it. What kind of team leader starts a fist fight with his own damn teammate? Every mistake his team made was like a personal insult to Dane, to his leadership skills. Ultimately, it culminated in him getting kicked off the team for repeated unsportsmanlike conduct on the ice. Suffice to say, he wasn’t very popular at all. It’s a shame too, ‘cause he was a damn good captain when he wasn’t being insufferable.

They say you shouldn’t dwell on things like these. After all, the past is the past and the only thing you can change is the future. Dane, however, seriously holds grudges. The boy has great memory and he uses it to be kind of an asshole about bad things that happen, even if he’s at fault. One might call him obsessive, maybe neurotic... maybe just petty. The whole hockey thing definitely did not sit well with him and he’s still weirdly convinced he was totally in the right despite it being literally all his fault for acting like that. It’s clear in his eyes when he watches his younger sister play hockey-- a bittersweet pleasure in watching his own blood on the ice. Yeah, he could just join varsity hockey at the uni he goes to, but deep down he knows he’d just repeat his past mistakes. It really sucks to be self-aware enough to know what’s wrong with you but not enough to really address it. The facade of being okay makes the feeling of self-contempt go away, though. Repression and all that.

There's a lot he represses, really. Like being gay. Maybe if he was the younger brother, he might've been okay with it, but growing up he never wanted to be gay. There was that one girl back in middleschool, but that didn't work out for reasons you might guess. Never tried being with a guy. How would his parents react? They seem okay with Mariah and Jessie, but it'd just be weird to tell them now. He's never told anyone, really. Not even Jessie, who would never tell a soul. Perhaps Dane just isn't ready to admit that watching gay porn is not something a straight guy does.

Hearing all this, you may or may not be surprised to hear that he smokes. Ironic, isn’t it? Here’s a bright young man with big future plans, who takes perfect care of his body, and he’s inducing lung cancer down the road. Perhaps there’s just a strange comfort to find in telling yourself ‘fuck you’ like that.

Loraine Donald • Mother

It's no question I take after her more. No offense to dad, but... I dunno. We just get each other, vices and all. Being the first-born helps too. There's a reason there's a lot more baby photos of me than there is for the other kids.

Aaron Donald • Father

Saying he’s kind of annoying sometimes would be rude. Saying he’s not would be a lie. The chain of commands a lil' frustrating too, but hey, I can't deny the guy loves his kids. He's nice enough, really-- just not the kinda guy I wanna hang out with.

Jessie Donald • Younger Brother

He's kind of a loser, but I love him. Kid's heart is too big for his own good, and he's a bit out there sometimes-- he doesn't really 'get' the way the world works. He gets bullied a lot, which doesn't really surprise me. I would say I'd go beat up whatever asshole's pickin' on him, but I think Mariah's got that covered. Truth be told though, I like talking to him more than the others. Oh, and, uh... Don't tell him I said this but I'm kinda jealous of how confident he is about being gay and all that stuff. I should be takin' notes.

Mariah Donald • Younger Sister

She's daddy's little girl alright. Playing hockey with her is pretty fun. She's gotten better than me, though, so every time we're on the ice I just get dunked on. And... I dunno. Sometimes I feel like we just don't get along very well. I don't know if she feels the same-- maybe it's just me? Wish she was a bit more tidy, too. It's whatever though. Nothing between siblings can't be solved by teasing them.

Julia Donald • Littlest Sister

Wish she wasn't such a wimp, to be honest. Though, I guess it's my job as her older brother to protect her, huh? The age difference makes it a bit hard to really get along, seeing as I don't wanna sit around and drink tea with stuffed animals or whatever, but it's fine. I do what I have to do.

𝐇𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐲𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐛 𝐋𝐚𝐧𝐞

Still major WIP in terms of editing and formatting, but here's the first complete draft.

Dane Donald

Dane Donald

20. Male. Currently ignoring his gayness. Hopelessly single as a result. 𝙷𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚢𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚋 𝙻𝚊𝚗𝚎 𝚁𝚎𝚜𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝.

”There’s no such thing as fresh start. Your whole life is just a series of starts, and none of them are fresh.”
_{- From his deviantART when he was 13}

Problem solver. Engineering major.

Some people say that you should become an engineer if you want to improve peoples’ lives. Really, why else would you dedicate your whole life to fixing shit if not to help people? Well, for Dane, it’s not quite an altruism thing as much as it is… just a thing. Maybe he finds a strange satisfaction in being able to control things on a grander scale. Maybe he just has a desperate need to change the world somehow. It’s probably not that deep, though-- Dane’s just the kind of guy that always needs to be doing something. Standing still is aggravating to him; the silence at the dinner table is infuriating. He’s the friend who tells you to break up with your shitty boyfriend, and then you get angry at him for a couple weeks before realizing he was right all along.

Dane is pretty good at school. Not that he’s particularly booksmart, nor was he ever very popular, but he is specifically good at doing what the teachers want. Always the first done, always getting generically good grades. He never saw classes as an opportunity to learn. Instead, everything is always just a problem to solve. An obstacle in the way to some idealized future he has in mind. Whether this is really a good or bad thing is up for debate, but either way, Dane was a leader who had a passion for power.

Oh, he works out by the way. Low-key jacked. It’s a personal satisfaction thing. Really, he couldn’t care less what others thought of his appearance. It’s just that exercising complete control over his body is so… satisfying, y’know? Perfectly cut nails. Flawless teeth. It’s a bit creepy, to be honest, but nobody has told him that yet.

Random hobbies include: meticulously planning the perfect meals, judging people on Yahoo Answers, and watching those weird “top ten worst investments” kind of videos on Youtube.

Controlling. Neurotic.

Dane joined hockey way back in elementary school. His father was a hockey player, so it was only natural that his first-born son would follow in his footsteps. Hell, Dane was a natural. It went great, at least up ‘till highschool. He ended up the team captain and everybody started hating him for it. What kind of team leader starts a fist fight with his own damn teammate? Every mistake his team made was like a personal insult to Dane, to his leadership skills. Ultimately, it culminated in him getting kicked off the team for repeated unsportsmanlike conduct on the ice. Suffice to say, he wasn’t very popular at all. It’s a shame too, ‘cause he was a damn good captain when he wasn’t being insufferable.

They say you shouldn’t dwell on things like these. After all, the past is the past and the only thing you can change is the future. Dane, however, seriously holds grudges. The boy has great memory and he uses it to be kind of an asshole about bad things that happen, even if he’s at fault. One might call him obsessive, maybe neurotic... maybe just petty. The whole hockey thing definitely did not sit well with him and he’s still weirdly convinced he was totally in the right despite it being literally all his fault for acting like that. It’s clear in his eyes when he watches his younger sister play hockey-- a bittersweet pleasure in watching his own blood on the ice. Yeah, he could just join varsity hockey at the uni he goes to, but deep down he knows he’d just repeat his past mistakes. It really sucks to be self-aware enough to know what’s wrong with you but not enough to really address it. The facade of being okay makes the feeling of self-contempt go away, though. Repression and all that.

Hearing all this, you might be surprised to hear that he smokes. Ironic, isn’t it? Here’s a bright young man with big future plans, who takes perfect care of his body, and he’s inducing lung cancer down the road. Perhaps there’s just a strange comfort to find in telling yourself ‘fuck you’ like that.

Loraine Donald • Mother

Well, he definitely takes after his mother more. They understand each other pretty well and Dane often tries to emulate her, vices and all. Being her first-born definitely helped forge that bond, too. There’s a reason there’s a lot more baby photos of Dane than there is for the other kids.

Aaron Donald • Father

Saying he’s kind of annoying sometimes would be rude. Saying he’s not would be a little dishonest. Dane finds the chain of command to be frustrating too, but he can’t help but acknowledge that his father definitely loves his kids. He’s nice enough. They have a thing about bonding over hockey, but ever since Dane acted like a dumbass and got kicked off the team, it’s been a bit of a touchy topic.

𝙵𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚎 • 𝚃𝚒𝚝𝚕𝚎

wip

𝙵𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝙼𝚎𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝙽𝚊𝚖𝚎 • 𝚃𝚒𝚝𝚕𝚎

wip

Julia Donald • Littlest Sister

Though he hates how reserved and fearful she tends to be, Dane feels a strong Urge To Protect. The age difference makes it hard to truly get along, since he’s not exactly partial to doing whatever a nine-year-old girl likes to do, but in the end their relationship is benign at worst. He does what he has to do as her older brother.

Suppose I should make one of these

Heya. I'm not really new here-- just a new account with a new name since it's been a damn long time since I've actually done anything here.

Mostly only making this thing for posterity.