Yeah, I still think you are forcing a false dichotomy there, the opposite of what de Botton's point was. You do not need to see "Religion", the monolith, as an inherently negative force, as you seem to. You, as a rational person can look at the words of Muhammad, who said to give to the poor, and Buddha, who preached kindness to all, and Jesus, who said to treat your enemy as your friend, and say "Though I do not believe in your divinity, I highly admire these just sentiments." That doesn't make you a bad atheist, and it definitely doesn't make you a bad person. You can, through rational thought, discern the just from the unjust, and attempt to explain your conclusions to others, without making them defensive or insulting their beliefs.
Religion is part of human culture, part of our past and our present, and everything we do is built on those who came before us. Just because a moral code has its base in a tradition of faith, that does not mean it is inherently bad. That's what I think you aren't getting. :( You don't have to be so negative about it in order to persuade people to be secularly moral.
EDIT: Just to say this, the grandfather that I mentioned at the beginning of the thread, the one with the Doctorate of Theology who assists people in their lives through secular means... He does nothing but question. There are thousands of religious scholars throughout history and today who do nothing but question, and have stronger faith because of it.
EDIT 2: They look at the contradictions, the problems that arise from humans attempting to understand the will of an unknowable being, and they ponder that. They justify their faith through reason.
EDIT 3: Last one, a question: what is your goal, Gwazi? What do you truly want to change by arguing this?