IntPenDespSword

GAME: Crush A Wish

Granted, whenever you take any IQ test, the shown result is a hundred higher than your current score, and your intel- ahem, pattern recognition is greatly increased, but no one believes you, and you are quickly featured on r/iamverysmart.

I wish for genies to have and follow an identical set of values as the person whose wish they're granting.

GAME: Crush A Wish

Granted. In front of you lies like five porcelain molecules, with a single protein found in rice on top. Enjoy your meal.

I wish for a safe genie who will only grant me a positive, integer amount of wishes.

GAME: Crush A Wish

Granted. She tells you. That needn't mean she does. You join in unhappy marriage.

I wish for things to be cooler, without affecting actual temperature.

Game: "Useless" superpowers

So slippery, in fact, that you reach a point closer to zero friction than ever met by any man. Of course, for ease of use, it's only your back that is slippery, the rest is as normal. Now, whenever you need to get somewhere fast, just lie down, and nyooom.

The power to conjure rainbows. Bonus points for realism.

Roast Thread

If I wanted to read a historical document, I'd gone to a library.

GAME: Crush A Wish

dude chill

Sure, you may try to invade heaven, but no genie or some lusty internet feller can overcome literal omnipotence.

I wish for every program in the world that is currently running, and that uses a while-loop running using an actual true expression instead of just the word true, to stop running.

GAME: Crush A Wish

Granted. Now "Oxy" has the same implied meaning as "taking the back door". You are made fun of.

I wish bottled water has healing powers.

Game: "Useless" superpowers

I'm already doing better than a lot of people

(Does that count, though? It's not like I can't do that already.)

Uh, great, I can now make reasonable predictions about the future using contextual information.

The ability to always have some sort of speed boost when playing racing games.

Game: "Useless" superpowers

Low hanging fruit, here I come. The most successful prostitute of all time.

The ability to conjure seeds to a random plant at will, though with no control over which plant.

GAME: Crush A Wish

Great, we all give up. Are you happy?

I wish for the snow-themes in Mario games replaced regular christmas music.