The best of my Dumb One liners: "Is your refrigerator running?" "Yes..?" "Good, mine too, I will see you at the refrigerator race tomorrow." Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says, "How do we drive this thing?" I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not like the screaming passengers in his car An early bird my get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese Evening news is when they say Good evening and explain why it isn't You don't need a parachute to sky-dive you only need one to sky-dive twice I'm such a good friend that if I was on a sinking ship with you with only one life jacket I would miss you, and think about you lots People only call me ugly until they realize how much money I make... Then they call me poor and ugly. And a romantic little poem for anyone who suffered through that: Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave

<div style="white-space:pre-wrap;">The best of my Dumb One liners:<br>"Is your refrigerator running?" "Yes..?" "Good, mine too, I will see you at the refrigerator race tomorrow."<br><br>Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says, "How do we drive this thing?"<br><br>I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, not like the screaming passengers in his car<br><br>An early bird my get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese<br><br>Evening news is when they say Good evening and explain why it isn't<br><br>You don't need a parachute to sky-dive you only need one to sky-dive twice<br><br>I'm such a good friend that if I was on a sinking ship with you with only one life jacket I would miss you, and think about you lots<br><br>People only call me ugly until they realize how much money I make... Then they call me poor and ugly.<br><br>And a romantic little poem for anyone who suffered through that:<br><br>Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this makes no sense, microwave</div>