[quote]I started making it, had a breakdown… bon appétit! -[i]James Acaster[/i][/quote] Arguably spawned from an Irish mud puddle one early summer morning, LawOfTheSeas is not a legal professional, a mariner, nor indeed a professional of maritime law. There are four things one should know about my personality - I'm weird, I'm inconsistent, I'm aggressively normal, I'm passionate and I'm self-contradictory. Those six things should keep legal professionals, mariners and maritime legal professionals busy for years to come. What I can tell you for certain is that I originate, as mentioned, in Ireland, where I learnt the secret to drinking copious amounts of alcohol without harming one's brain. I later moved to England, where I learnt that everything I'd learnt in Ireland was a lie. Then I moved to Australia where I learnt not to worry about what I'd learnt in England. I am currently in a state of constant semi-sobriety, with occasional bouts of "drunk on life". I have yet to learn that I'm not good at making jokes - doctors have suggested my constant state of self-deprecation is as a result of consistent exposure to England over a period of five years. Probably incurable, likely fatal, puts a smile on my face anyway. I am most definitely quite tall - 199cm/6'6" to be exact. As well as this, I am quite decidedly homosexual. As such, I sometimes wonder if I am the 'Big Gay' that conservative conspiracy theorists often yammer on about. If so, you can thank me for such wonders as super-speedy 5G connection, the coronavirus vaccine, dessert and most things that are not the pinnacle of masculinity - you're welcome, world. Anyway, thanks for reading that absolute trainwreck. They say that acceptance is the final stage of grief, so I guess I've been grieving the loss of what little wittiness I've ever had for a while, and you can begin to grieve the fact that I'm here. So, yeah.

<div style="white-space:pre-wrap;"><blockquote class="bb-quote">I started making it, had a breakdown… bon appétit!<br>-<span class="bb-i">James Acaster</span></blockquote><br><br>Arguably spawned from an Irish mud puddle one early summer morning, LawOfTheSeas is not a legal professional, a mariner, nor indeed a professional of maritime law. There are four things one should know about my personality - I'm weird, I'm inconsistent, I'm aggressively normal, I'm passionate and I'm self-contradictory. Those six things should keep legal professionals, mariners and maritime legal professionals busy for years to come.<br><br>What I can tell you for certain is that I originate, as mentioned, in Ireland, where I learnt the secret to drinking copious amounts of alcohol without harming one's brain. I later moved to England, where I learnt that everything I'd learnt in Ireland was a lie. Then I moved to Australia where I learnt not to worry about what I'd learnt in England. I am currently in a state of constant semi-sobriety, with occasional bouts of "drunk on life". I have yet to learn that I'm not good at making jokes - doctors have suggested my constant state of self-deprecation is as a result of consistent exposure to England over a period of five years. Probably incurable, likely fatal, puts a smile on my face anyway.<br><br>I am most definitely quite tall - 199cm/6'6" to be exact. As well as this, I am quite decidedly homosexual. As such, I sometimes wonder if I am the 'Big Gay' that conservative conspiracy theorists often yammer on about. If so, you can thank me for such wonders as super-speedy 5G connection, the coronavirus vaccine, dessert and most things that are not the pinnacle of masculinity - you're welcome, world.<br><br>Anyway, thanks for reading that absolute trainwreck. They say that acceptance is the final stage of grief, so I guess I've been grieving the loss of what little wittiness I've ever had for a while, and you can begin to grieve the fact that I'm here. So, yeah.</div>