LillyDove

Naruto: Birth of a Better Generation

Alright, I'm actually going to remove Okani and go with my Inuzuka character that I can mold better. You were right, she didn't belong in this RP not when Amegakure was pretty much her roots and her family, changing her like that makes her someone else entirely.

So my questions are as followed:
Is there anything specific your looking for?
Anything that is not allowed?

Naruto: Birth of a Better Generation

Alright, let's hear your advice, maybe it hasn't quite gotten through yet?

Naruto - Legend of the Bijuu's - Part I - OOC

Do you think Okani is generic? I'm just curious.

Naruto: Birth of a Better Generation

I completely rewrote her entire history and working in her personality, hopefully this time, she is acceptable.

Her personality is finished now too.

Naruto - Legend of the Bijuu's - Part I - OOC

Seranai is one big chicken for the time being, lol.

Naruto: Birth of a Better Generation

That's alright, I feel like I put a lot of thought into her but I understand others have different opinions. They spent most of their money while they moved and to build the house in Konoha.

Naruto - Legend of the Bijuu's - Part I - OOC

Seranai froze as see saw the body of a Jinchūriki in the arms of the Hokage, with a whimper she pressed herself into the shadows even more so, hiding from people. After she assumed it was it was safe, she darted out of the shadows, shaking as she made her way to find Maiko and hopefully Kai. Eventually finding Maiko, she came to a sudden stop and kept close to him. "Maiko... They got a Jinchūriki... What do we do?" Seranai asked in a hushed voice.

You must not let them know you are one as well, I have no wish to be extracted... the voice said and that was when she made the connection that it was her tailed beast that had been talking to her. It was for some reason helping her and that made her nervous, she felt like she should run or hide but would that draw attention to herself?

Naruto: Birth of a Better Generation

Prince said
I just proof read your current history. You jump from three villages, you claimed to have been trained by the Amekage at a time that an Amekage couldn't even chronologically be alive. There were Kage in existence at the specific time your character was said to be training with one; that would have been during the Reign of Sai. I seriously feel like you have taken no time to consider this setting. I'm going to afford you one opportunity to revamp your entire CS before I simply ask you to leave.

I think I changed enough of her history and removed the OP techniques, I hope this is suitable to you.

Naruto: Birth of a Better Generation

Prince said
No one is going to be directly related to people of the past like the Amekage. You may want to revamp that history to make it just a wee bit more plausible.Yes. We're still accepting.

Alright I can do that.

Alright I shall cut that out too, anything else? ^_^ Really having to make some edits is better than flat out rejection just as long as it's not change everything. Lol

Naruto: Birth of a Better Generation

Umm alright. I followed your format for the CS and I will remove the Blade of Winds. Hope your day gets better.

Her history can be confusing, to sum it all up: She was born in Amegakure, moved to Konoha then moved back to Amegakure, her oldest brother was the Ame-kage, they moved back to Konoha after Hidden Rain fell.