Little Bill

High Casual Rant

@POOHEAD189 this is really awkward but i was also not talking to you past "10/10 casework"

High Casual Rant

@Surtr Inc You know I'm sterile. We've already been through this. I will never grant your bucci a child.
Please don't embarrass me in public like this.

How do you know it is time to come back from a hiatus?

I remain on hiatus until I have an idea of value I can submit to the community. Until I can think of something worthwhile that other people would enjoy, I would remain on hiatus.

High Casual Rant

Ok, I haven't read the entirety of the thread,

@POOHEAD189

10/10 casework
Odin was the only one who got it right. I don't want to ban a tag or create new sections or redefine labels, I just want to call out cowardice where I see it. Is that so wrong?

High Casual Rant

As a man of my word, I have arranged a fistfight with Byrd Man in PMs. Will update shortly.

EDIT: Byrd Man kicked my ass

High Casual Rant

Let's rant. Or rather, I'm going to rant, and those of you who have clicked this title are going to listen. Let's not all rant, actually, because there is already one person ranting here, and it is me. You can all discuss, or not, I don't really care. Throw in a rebuttal, even, but don't rant. Why have I elected myself to be the sole ranter in this thread? I am articulate, thoughtful, clever, and not entirely without tact. I have thought long and hard about the subject, considered several viewpoints, and all the same have come to present the following statement as earnestly as possible, as a thesis to the rant that will follow it, without labeling any one group of people unfairly. Are you ready? Good.

If you use the label "High Casual", you are a true coward, and I will fully explain to you why in this rant.

That's right. Right out of the gates, insulted most of the website's playerbase. I don't give a fuck. I speak the truth, and like many preachers of truth, I expect to be drawn and quartered for the truth. I will die a martyr, while those who bear the title "High Casual" will continue to slog through their lies and cowardice for an entire lifetime. I would rather my one death than your ten thousand. I'm sure you're asking by now, "Why, Deadbeat? What's so wrong with High Casual Roleplays? It's just words on a title!" Which is exactly the point. It is more than just words on a title. It is a sign of something greater; A plague of hacky writing that creeps across Roleplayerguild.com like a shadow, choking the very life out of it. Where hacky writing is the cancer brewing deep within the bowels of our site, High Casual tags are the surface-level symptoms we have ignored until it is too late.

Let me begin this rant with a quick recap of our site's roleplaying boards -- Free, Casual, and Advanced. "What about Tabletop and Nation?" You might be saying. Well, fuck 'em. I have confidence that I can beat any of the nerds in those sections into submission, so I'm just going to ignore the existence of those boards for the entirety of this rant. If one of you wishes to champion your respective nerd board, please arrange a physical fight with me in PMs to not clog this thread. Anyway, back to the site recap. Roleplayerguild has three sections for writing, the core function of the site, differentiated by the skill level/effort level of the posts, moderated only by what the players deem fitting for the section. If someone posts a roleplay in the Advanced section that seems more fitting of the Free section, they're free to do so. If someone posts a roleplay in the Free section that seems more befitting of the Advanced section, they're free to do so as well. One of Mahz's earliest ideas for the site is that it shouldn't be overmoderated like other sites, so placing threads in appropriate sections has always been up to player discretion.

It is my belief that this was, as Hiyao Miyazaki famously said, a mistake. Over time, Roleplays have amassed in the Casual section, like lab rats packed into the middle of a cage that has been made too hot on one side and too cold on the other. All through one insidious tagline; High Casual. I hear those words and I cringe. A part of me dies a little inside, and it is the part that enjoys writing collaborative stories on the internet. To me, the very phrase "High Casual" tells me you are either incapable or do not want to put in effort that would make others consider your writing "Advanced", but think your writing should be at least a little bit separate than the "Casual" work everyone else is producing. Neither devoted enough to write in Advanced or humbled enough to live up to the casual criteria of the section you are in. What a cruel farce this must be. What are you afraid of, High Casuals? Are you afraid of living up to the standards of others, or of looking in the mirror and acknowledging your own? Tell me now, or live with your shame in private, neutered silence forever.

But what does any of this have to do with hacky writing? I will tell you. Casual RPs, full stop, are not supposed to be as well-written as Advanced RPs. I'm not gonna say they're objectively worse, not as fun, or any other description, because that would be my opinion, and I have not come here to tell you my opinion. As I said earlier, I have come here to tell you the truth. By the very definitions of the boards, Casual RPs are not held to the standards of grammar and length that Advanced RPs are. The realistic characterization of player-controlled characters is rarely called into question, themes/allegories/foreshadowing are all used less frequently, and the less exciting differences between literary worlds and ours are less explored in Casual RPs. How does this mountain village get food year-round? What are the legal repercussions for Pokemon being killed in duels? How do these viking people live solely off of villages? How does a man study until he can build a death laser without at some point learning the emotional intelligence to not desire world domination? In Advanced roleplays, these types of things are discussed -- frequently, at far too great a length -- whereas in Casual RPs, they are shrugged off for the sake of fun and continuing the plot unabated. I'm not saying either is better or worse, as I think they both have their place, but this place is erased with the use of the High Casual tag.

Gone are the days of Advanced meaning many paragraphs, and gone are the days of the Casual section housing a plethora of fun, low-effort stories. Now, instead of three sections for three levels of effort, we now have micro-section for niche groups. Free is now where AIM roleplayers have migrated to post hedgehog-based romances and battles, Advanced is where scifi ideas come to die, and Casual is split between different levels of effort, from hedgehog-based romance to lofty sci-fi. Why does there have to be a High Casual tag? This is getting into philosophy rather than the original rant itself, but doesn't one section having a subcategory just seem dumb? Are there other categories? Are we just posting postmodern mixtures of letters and spaces in "Low Free"? Is "Low Casual" what Free writers tag to get the same "High Casual" feeling? Is "Low Advanced" supposed to go in Casual or Advanced? Where are all the "High Advanced" roleplays, while I'm at it? This question doesn't need answering, because everybody knows the answer. High Casual is just a tag meant to rope in the most people on the board with the most traffic, because everyone has migrated there because sections don't matter anymore.

I promised you the truth and I have delivered it, whether you choose to despise me for bringing truth to you is your choice. But my sermon does not end with pessimism, because the truth is not something that can be a solely negative rant. We should all strive to tell the truth, starting with ourselves. Preferably when we are choosing which board to put our RP in.

• 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 •

Ser Beric the Burnt

Beric Hightower

Ser Beric "The Burnt" Hightower

Age

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47

Appearance

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Will write later. Hides his leather couch face with a burlap sack all the time.

Reputation

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Beric was the second son born to Ser Terance and Lady Cara, the Lord and Lady of House Hightower. Even from infancy, Beric had a queer coldness to him -- He would not cry as a baby, would not speak as an infant, and would not smile as a child. He would respond to both commands and praise with blank indifference, and his speech was slow and quiet, causing the Hightower's maester to initially assume the young Beric was simply deaf.

Of course, this was not the case, though Beric's silence would force him to remain all but a stranger to his family until he was a boy of seven. One summer afternoon, during one of his family's jaunts to Oldtown, Beric witnessed two knights dueling by the docks. It captured his attention like nothing other, burning an image in his mind that has lasted to this day. That afternoon, he told his father that as a second son, he would like to train as a knight. It had been perhaps the longest phrase Beric had ever spoken to his father, and so he was made his father's official squire within a fortnight. Under his father's tutelage, Beric would take to the longsword like a moth to a flame.

Beric's devotion to the sword quickly grew into an obsession, and by the time Beric was ten, his father conceded that any further training his son would receive would have to come from a more skilled swordsman than himself. Terance Hightower then purchased the tutelage of a sellsword and two hedge knights -- Hasin Nogarys, Ser Brynden Marbrand, and Ser Rodrick Dalt -- to teach Beric the three combative aspects of knighthood; Swordsmanship, Horsemanship, and Bowmanship. These three warriors would remain Beric's tutors for the next four years,until he was knighted at the age of fourteen and his presence was requested at Highgarden by Lady Margaery. As a result of a trade deal arranged between Lady Margaery and Terance Hightower, Beric would serve as the sworn guard of Margaery's newborn son, Jon Flowers.

The next four years would be the same for Beric, who was accustomed to waking at the crack of dawn to train his sword, though now with better scenery than Oldtown's. The unsmiling, rigidly disciplined Beric would remain an unpopular figure at the painted galas and courtyard ceremonies of Highgarden for years to come, save for in the eyes of Margaery Tyrell -- who some believed to have brought the young knight for reasons less virtuous than guarding her infant son -- and Garlan Tyrell, who had a personal hand in Beric's continued training at Highgarden. By the time Beric was eighteen, he was known as "Beric the Babe", the prodigal boy-knight of the Reach. It would be fortunate that Beric was as skilled as he was by then, as Jon Flowers would be legitimized Jon Targaryen at the age of four after King Aegon suffered a bout of ill health.
Beric's guardianship over Jon became more serious after his legitimization, leaving less time for Beric to train. The young boy chafed under Beric's constant vigilance, and equally, Beric grew uneasy without his constant routine of practice. Eventually, Jon would find a friend in his protector. The smiling retainers Jon was surrounded by at Highgarden would practically climb over one another to win favor with the Targaryen boy, which confused and upset him a great deal during his childhood. Beric's cold, awkward nature seemed like proof that unlike the flatterers at court, Beric had no ulterior motives, and could be trusted to at least confide his woes.

Beric would do just that for twelve years, becoming a brother figure of sorts to the would-be king, training him to the best of his ability in swordplay, carrying out errands and tasks, and gradually steering Jon into a marriage with his younger sister, Gwynesse. Their time together would be brought to an end on Jon's sixteenth nameday, when King Aegon VI decreed that Jon be given Dragonstone. Having been stationed as the prince's guard by Lady Margaery, who had been dead for a year by that point, Beric was thereby dismissed from Highgarden. Beric continued as a renowned hedge knight for some five years, his monicker quickly changing at tourneys and highways to "Beric the Bedless" with his diminished status.

Beric would remain Beric the Bedless until his mutilation at the Bloody Caltrops Inn. He was recognized by a young sellsword named Dunsen, whose bandit father Beric had killed a year prior. That night, Dunsen returned to the inn with a small gang, taking Beric's key from the innkeep at knifepoint. Beric awoke to find himself surrounded and unarmed, and was tied and gagged by the group, beaten within an inch of his life until dawn. Upon the group's departure, Dunsen dragged Beric's head into his room's fireplace, aiming to "light him like a beacon", and assuming that the flames would quickly kill the tightly-bound knight. Beric would manage to wiggle to freedom, but not before suffering serious burns on his head. He was found by a fellow inn patron, a turnip farmer from Old Oak, who carried Beric all the way to Oldtown, receiving a keep and knighthood from Beric's father for the deed.

Healing/Training Paragraph
Sent to Summerhall

Relations

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Jon Targaryen - Beric has known Jon since he was born, swearing an oath to his mother to spend his life protecting Jon.

• 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 •

Ser Dalar the Black review

Ser Dalar the Black

Ser Dalar, loyal retainer of the Martell family

Age

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29

Appearance

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To avoid beating a dead horse - Dalar the Black is a man with Summer Isles heritage, whose mother moved to the Shadow Town. With this fact out of the way, a fact which always seems to draw the eye of passerby's and noblemen and women alike, we can move on to more pertinent features. Dalar is a very tall (6'3") man with a very broad, massive physique. He is not as close to the bulkiness of the famed Mountain himself, but he is certainly a strong looking man who looks like he can deal some serious damage.

Everything about his physique reinforces this, from the size of his hands (large and masculine) to his way of walking (with confident, large steps) to even how he rides a horse (favoring the Dornish sand steed).

Although ser Dalar is not a very rich individual, being raised from poverty, he expresses himself through typical Dornish clothing with a touch of Summer Isle color. This includes a colorful Summer Isle feathered cape, which was gifted to him by the Martell family for his continued and loyal service to their family. While this does not turn any heads in Dorne specifically, it is certainly out of the ordinary if not downright strange in the more northern parts of Westeros.

Like most Dornish, Dalar favors a spear, and carries one with him most of the time he's moving about. Beyond that, his numerous belts are strapped with two curved daggers, alongside a regular straight longsword, sheathed at his right side (for Dalar is lefthanded).

Reputation

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• Mother arrived in Shadow Town as a prostitute, and gave birth to Dalar there - died shortly after child birth.Is Dalar half-black or did this Summer Islander prostitute fuck a Summer Islander visiting?
• From then on, Dalar lived as a gutter child, surviving on scraps and whatever strangers would give him as charity.
• During his seventh year he sees a Martell nobleman, namely the Prince-consort, Daemon, and his guards happen to be slacking off. Seeing an opening, Dalar moves in to pickpocket Daemon, to ease him of the burden of his purse.
• As he moves in, he bumps into a man, who also is on approach to Daemon, slipping between Daemon's guards. He falls over when Dalar bumps into him, the clang of a curved serpentine dagger falling onto the tiling following. Dalar falls on top of him, something that seems like a stroke of godlike luck later on.Part of why the literary style of sheet is preferred is to make crazy coincidences like this more believable.
• The guards slay the man immediately for this attempted assassination, and Daemon thinks Dalar responsible for saving his life.
• Dalar is taken to Sunspear and made squire to a knight.
• During his time as a squire, Dalar learns the basics of combat, squiring, and attempts to adapt to court-life with moderate success.
• The knight he squired for commends his success at age 15 and, at age 16, Dalar is knighted as Ser Dalar the Black, and presented with a feathered cape of his own, colorful as one would expect.Nicknames, especially one that tough, are earned. I don't think his knight would give him a derisive nickname, especially if he commended him for skill and knighted him relatively early for an upjumped commoner.
• Pending duties as a knight, he is assigned to be Deria Martell's guard and, as a relatively low effort job, Dalar begins spending more time in the courtyard practicing his skills with the spear, sword and his daggers.
• At 21, guilt takes control of Dalar and he confesses to Delia Martell that he did not 'safe Daemon's life' but rather accidentally tripped the assassin and ended up on top of him. She either takes it as a joke, ratted him out, or simply didn't care - which of these options, Dalar never figured out. But he remained as a knight.
• Gerold "Darkstar" Dayne rises as vulture king in Dorne, and Dalar plays a large part in the initial skirmishes. As a minor knight he plays no major role, though other knights commended his skill and bravery, incurring a small boost in his personal prestige.
• After the rise of the vulture king, and the inability of the Dornish armies to vanquish him, other more small criminals take this as a sign that it's safe to openly operate within Dorne, causing a smuggling ring to rise in Plankytown. The busting of this ring was performed, in part, by ser Dalar the Black.nice
• Following years of servitude, and with no remaining neccesity to guard Deria Martell, he is instead assigned to guard Rhaella Targaryen on her journey as well as for the duration of her stay in the Vale.

Relations

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• Delia Martell - after a long time of service, Deria has become some sort of friend to Dalar, though it is less like a friendship and more like a mentorship.

I'm ai with Dalar. Sounds like a fun addition.

• 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 •

House Baratheon Review

House Baratheon of Storm's End

“Ours is the Fury!”

House Description

House Baratheon

House Seat

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Storm's End

Head of House

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Lord Paramount Darion Baratheon

Recent History

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The Amberly Incident- Starting in the year 332 AC and ending in the same year, the Amberly Incident(named after the seat of one of the main rebel lords) nearly threatened to throw the Stormlands into rebellion and end the rule of the Baratheons as Lords Paramount of the Stormlands.

While the base of the incident had started a year earlier with the then heir-apparent Darion Baratheon refusing rather rudely an offer of marriage from Lord Garrat Rogers himself, the true cause that set off the incident was when Darion Baratheon nearly beat to death the heir of house Rogers, Lord Prestan Rogers for throwing insults at House Baratheon and his own brother.

This incident served to unify some houses of the Stormlands against House Baratheon. Darion Baratheon then pleaded with the Crown and the heir of the Iron Throne to help stop this possible rebellion, however, neither the queen or her heir Rhaegon responded to his calls for aid. So, an angered Darion decided to call the bannermen still loyal to House Baratheon and to prepare for battle.

The two sides would meet north of Summerhall, the seat of the bastard prince Jon and would get ready to battle, however, just before the battle starts, prince Jon, who was convinced by Effrin Baratheon to help mediate the conflict, arrived on his dragon Rhaegal to do just that. Thankfully, since the rebel nobles thought that prince Jon had sided with House Baratheon, the situation was solved without any real loss for the Lord Paramount. This part reads a little iffy, particularly the first sentence, but I get what you mean. So far, so good.

However, despite the fact that many of the other houses had been pacified by this, House Rogers still considers House Baratheon as their rival.

House Relations

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House Rogers- Despite the Amberly Incident having been settled, both the heads of House Baratheon and House Rogers still have a deep seated rivalry with one another. The refusal of a marriage offer before the incident certainly did not help the relations between the two noble houses.
House Tarth- Due to Darion's own mother Ayenna being part of House Tarth, the two houses have been and are very closely tied to one another.
House Seaworth- After leaving a daughter of the current lord pregnant, the relation between the two houses was about to worsen, however, when said lord came to ask for reparations, the lord acknowledged the baby as his and even promise to try and get the son to be legitimized by the king whenever possible, forging an alliance with House Seaworth as well.

Conceptualization

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The plans of the current members of House Baratheon are fairly simple, though known only by the two twins of the house. Upon the death of Queen Daenerys, the Stormlands will support the bastard Jon instead of the heir-apparent Rhaegon Targaryen, not only because of the closeness between the Lord Paramount of the Stormlands and and the prince, but also because of honor. Darion and Effrin's grandfather had fought a war to depose the Mad King, accepting the rule of her and her bloodline would be akin to spitting in the face of his Grandfather.

A more secondary goal, more for Darion than for the Stormlands is to get his bastard son Lyonel legitimized, however, since nor the current queen, nor her heir have proven willing to do so, he has turned once again to the bastard Prince Jon to legitimize his son once he would ascend the Throne.

Point-of-View Characters

Darion Baratheon

Lord Paramount of the Stormlands
Lord of Storm's End

Age

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30

Appearance

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Standing at nearly 6'10" feet tall, I appreciate you made Darion confirmed to be shorter than he was before, I would prefer it more if you described him with detail instead of an empirical height measurement. Darion Baratheon is a large, broad-shouldered man, towering above many men. Yet, despite his intimidating stature, the lord has rarely used it to try and cow people into subservience, instead choosing to smile and make them comfortable in his presence and befriending them. He, like the rest of the Baratheons before him has coal-black hair which he has allowed to grow to shoulder length, this along with his beard, Darion has been often compared in looks with his grandfather Robert Baratheon when he was in his youth.

Reputation

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Born in 310 as the eldest of the two Baratheon twins and the acting Lord Paramount of the Stormlands in his ailing father’s name, though with no prospect of his father’s health improving, many consider the young Lord as Lord Paramount already.

Unlike his younger sibling, who does not show the qualities of a Baratheon, Darion is quite opposite in that regard, being everything that’s to be expected of a Baratheon and more. He is a very strong-willed person and somewhat stubborn when it comes to some things. Like his grandfather Robert Baratheon, Darion has the talent of drawing people to him, befriending people and making them loyal to him, even if they were an enemy the other day. As for his size, he is a very big man, easily reaching a height of 6’10” reeeand towering above many men. It is thus that he earned his nickname as the “Storm Giant”.

Ever since he was born, Darion had lived his life to the fullest everyday, trying things that seemed interesting and if they bored him, then he would try again and again until he found something he enjoyed. Many people, including his own father encouraged this curious nature of his son, thinking that he would maybe find a hobby to enjoy besides leadership, something for what he was already being groomed for, despite already having shown quite the aptitude for it.

Among one of things he found that he had a calling for, was fighting. And it was no wonder that he often won in these mock duels considering his size, and his father, seeing that, hired a few trainers to refine his skills in combat and though he is slightly above average when it comes to skill, he counts more on his strength than his actual skill in combat. His second hobby, he truly found at the age of 14 as he laid with one of the various serving girls around Storm’s End and found that he enjoyed it quite a bit as it had the same pleasure one would feel from defeating a foe, though in this case, nobody would be really hurt. So, the young lord partook in both of his hobbies quite often, beating down squires and bedding young maids.

However, only a few months later, Darion had taken to love a woman different from all the others, he had taken Lyanna Seaworth, she was the daughter of Lord Devan Seaworth of the Rainwood, one of the high lords of the Stormlands and she was a shy young woman that had fallen in love with Darion and had given her maidenhood to him during a feast at Lord Devan’s holdfast. However only a few months later, Lord Devan came along with his daughter who was now pregnant with his child and demanded retribution.

Before his father said anything, Darion instantly acknowledged the child and invited the young Lyanna to stay at Storm’s End so that both she and Darion would be able to raise him properly and promised that he would try and get the child legitimized as soon as possible."Hey no prob I'll ask the king neither of us has met to legitimize this bastard and give you no marriage if you keep your daughter here so I can keep banging her without having to leave Storm's End" is an offer no lord would take. "Retribution", in this case, is a marriage.

Only a year later, one of the serving maids of Storm's End, a woman with which Darion had also laid came to him with a little girl. Like the child of Lyanna, he acknowledged the little girl as his own child and brought the child to court to be raised by maesters and other educators and would soon prove to be as fierce and hot-headed as Darion was.
Storm's End now has a teenage lordling who has brought in two bastards, one of which is "fierce and hot-headed". This should both
A: Significantly reduce the marriageability of the future Lord Baratheon
B: Be included in "Why a rebellion was possible"

A few years later, despite him already having two bastard children, Lord Garret Rogers presented his daughter as a potential wife to the now 18 year old Darion Baratheon. However, the young lord refused Lord Garret quite rudely telling him that if he had wanted to marry his daughter, he would have been the one to propose to her. A marriage offer from a father would not be unusual. I get that this furthers "Darion was rude this single time" but it doesn't really make sense.This was a grave insult to the Lord and though, he made sure to send a letter to apologize to both the father and the daughter, the damage had already been done, he had sown the seeds of discontent within the Stormlands against him."Darion sends a letter of apology to continue to be virtually without flaw, though Lord Rogers had already become much more angry than the lords whose teenage daughters Darion had impregnated and never married." is kind of a weird way for this rebellion to start. It sounds like you want Darion to be an infamous womanizer without giving him any negative traits or real-world repercussions to his actions.

Only days later, a small retinue of knights headed by the heir of Amberly, Lord Prestan Rogers arrived to demand a personal apology from Darion, not just a written one. However, they would find none there, as the stubborn heir of the Stormlands refused, and after a few more arguments, the young Prestan challenged Darion to a duel, a duel that he accepted.The beginning of the rebellion's reasoning takes another tumble here. The letter wasn't enough, he wants an apology face to face, but this is now too much for Darion? :thinking:

The duel itself was brief as Darion easily overpowered the young lord, shattering his shield and drawing blood. In a fit of combat rage, Darion then challenged any of the knights that had come with the young Prestan to the same duel. Thankfully, while some of the knights were a bit more skilled in combat, Darion's strength was what allowed him to win all of the duels, though he would soon fall ill due to exhaustionwhat soon after the duels themselves. Even with a victory, though, this only served to worsen the relations with house Rogers and further sow the seeds towards rebellion.This lord shows up and Darion doesn't apologize, whoops his ass, and then whoops all his knight's asses. Darion has so far sired two bastards and been attacked by a force of knights, and the only bad thing that has happened to him is that he got sick once, after the fight?

In the year of 332, Prestan Rogers, the son of Lord Garret Rogers had discovered Effrin laying with another young man during a banquet. And though Darion did not know what had happened between the two inside the room, Prestan had come out yelling obscenities at both his brother for his heinous crime and at the Baratheon family for all their sins against men and against the gods.If Nebulous quits, I will either help you rewrite this part or play a gay Baratheon. Time can only tell.

Darion, who was of a fairly short temper when it came to his family, assaulted Prestan and a brief fight started between the two, however, again, due to his strength, Darion beat Prestan unconscious and would have probably beaten him to death had his own and Prestan's father not stopped him. Lord Garret, seeing this demanded retribution for this by exiling both his children as a form of justice, however, he would find none as Edric banished both Garret and Prestan out of Storm’s End.Lord Garret's response to seeing his son nearly beaten to death is to exile him and his other son?

This move had great repercussions, as many of the noble houses of the Stormlands now banded under Lord Garret Rogers and threatened rebellion against the future Lord Paramount.Which ones? A furious Darion, though somewhat pacified by his mother, had sent ravens to both the queen and Rhaegon to help settle this incident before it came to bloodshed, however no response came from either the queen or her heir, leaving the two Baratheon siblings to deal with the situation by force rather than diplomacy.

It took a month for the forces of both sides to gather. The battlefield was to be decided as the place between the seats of the two houses, close to Summerhall, the seat of the prince Jon Targaryen. While Darion was confident that he would prove to be victorious in the battle ahead, his brother did not seem to think so, or at least, he thought that this would be only the first rebellion and it would sow the seeds for yet more years of possible rebellion from the various strong-headed lords of the Stormlands.Also, this usurper has presumably told everyone Effrin is gay.

In order to prevent the death of so many soldiers and nobles, Effrin was able to convince Prince Jon to mediate the two sides. So, just before the battle would start, all the great nobles on both sides met in the middle of the battlefield and awaited for Prince Jon to arrive. And when he arrived, he certainly made quite the scene as he arrived on top of his dragon Rhaegal, with his bronze and green scales shining in the daylight. Suddenly, everyone there seemed to be ready to negotiate, as neither side really wanted to try and fight a fully grown dragon on the battlefield, knowing that they would most likely end up burned like in the Field of Fire.This part reads a little iffy, but once again, I get what you mean. The tone is a little off here.

Though they were called negotiations, under perceived threat of dragonfire, all the rebel lords save the Rogers had conceded their requests for the Baratheons and once again swore fealty to him. Now, being alone against House Baratheon and most of the other houses of the Stormlands, Lord Garraet conceded as well and swore fealty to the Lord Paramount once again, though the rivalry between the two houses still brewed.

With that, the forging of a bond between the two twins and the prince. Effrin had taken a near instant liking to the young prince and who Effrin trusted, Darion was willing to trust as well. After a time of negotiations, the young prince even took the bastard son of Darion as his own squire, making the relationship between Darion and Jon, even closer than before and gaining the loyalty of the Lord Paramount of the Stormlands.

Relations

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Prince Jon Targaryen- Darion is absolutely loyal to the young prince, not only due to helping in the solving of the Amberly incident, but also for taking both his brother in the kingsguard and taking his son page and as squire... and for other, more secretive reasons.

Effrin Baratheon- Darion loves his brother absolutely, even more than his own children and has sworn an oath to protect his brother and to kill those who would do him harm, What?and though he is not sure if his brother reciprocates the feeling, but if it were necessary, he would even die for him.

Lord Garraet Rogers- For refusing a marriage offer, humiliating his son in a duel and nearly killing said son, the lord of Amberly currently hates the Lord Paramount of the Stormlands and though they have sworn fealty to him once more, they are waiting for the another occasion to take him and his brother down once more.

Prince Rhaegon Targaryen- Though the two have never met, Darion does not like the heir to the Iron Throne at all, both for not agreeing to settle the Amberly Incident and for his rather hostile opinion on bastards.

Beric Hightower- Darion has rarely talked with Beric, though from the little they did talk, the stormlord did admire the knight's honor and skill in combat, though his son might not, considering that the knight is one of his sons trainers.

All in all, the main changes I would like to be made before your take on the Baratheons is accepted is for Darion to be more fleshed out, having some negativity and facing negative consequences for his actions, and for the beginning of the rebellion to be more cohesive.

• 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐃𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 •

Elwyn Tully Review

Elwyn Tully

A titlecard for his family words but not his name? Bold move. Picture is kinda contemporary but i'll live with it. i could live with it more if you cropped it a bit.

Ser Elwyn Tully of Riverrun

“Ab ipsem ferro.” ain't no latin in planetos, gotta nix it

Age

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26

Appearance

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Elwyn Tully stands tall at an impressive 6'2", with a lean and muscular physique reminiscent of a laborer or farmer, though lacking in mud and grime. One needs not look at him twice to notice his obvious nobility, both in how he carries himself as well as his cleanliness. Despite this, he does not have quite the flashiness that some of the other houses seem to possess and, though quite well dresses overall, does not seem to mind the appearances of his clothes so much as some of his peers.

This too finds its way into how he walks, a confident step in his strut, a chest puffed forwards, and a confident grin on his lips. Elwyn is, and looks like, a man that knows his own capabilities and knows them well. Never the less he appears outwardly friendly, someone who is not all business but has time for a good conversation, and going as far as to call him 'warm' would definitely not be misplaced. His eyes are relaxed, never shifting from one place to the other, but rather move deliberately like the rest of his body. Movements seem to be relaxed, made in the moment, not overly calculated or wooden, which indirectly is indicative of his personality - relaxed, in the moment, does what he feels like and when he feels like it.

On average, his days are spent in comfortable wear as he goes around his duties in Riverrun, assisting his brother where needed and otherwise tending to chores and tasks around the keep. When it is time to practice, he will change to combat attire, and this is when he truly feels comfortable. His steps become larger, either in confidence or in excitement for what is to come, and he begins carrying himself with even more confidence. His left hand resting on the grip of his sword, the right hand adjusting some armor or swaying as he walks.

His face followed a similar trend, his soldier background proudly on display through a faint, though noticeable scar on his right eye, earned during a tourney. His upper lip is thin, the lower slightly thicker, in a pale pink hue. This is offset by the fiery red hair he has, framing his face and making him appear much more pale than he truly is. With a carefully kept beard and a shorter haircut, it is apparent that while he takes some care in his appearance, ultimately what he desires most is simplicity and comfort over fashion.

His appearance doesn't need to be that long/specific, but I can't really ask you to write less as a a GM.

Reputation

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• Raised by the Stark family from age 11 to 15, serving as ward and squire to the lord himself, enjoying tutelage in martial matters. Scratch off the squire bit, Northmen don't do knights or squires. Specify why papa tully sent him to the North.
• Became friends with the Stark children, and very close with Lynara Stark
• A brief, childlike 'relationship' formed between Lynara and Elwyn, built mostly on sharing secrets and keeping them, such as hiding their 'relationship' from lord Stark compound those two details into one.
• Elwyn returns home at age 15 to serve his brother, Lucas
• A year later a bannerman's bastard jumps from a crowd and attempts to strike Lucas with a hammer. Elwyn ran the bastard through on his own, and later exacted the man's execution as an act of mercy to prevent needless suffering from his wounds just have him kill the boyo for trying to assassinate his brother
• Four years after the attempted assassination on Lucas' life, reports of upstart Frey smallfolk seep in and Elwyn is sent to investigate alongside a squire. Investigating a village, they are beset upon by the Frey sympathizers, though they are quickly dispatched by Elwyn I'd like to see more detail here, considering it is the only riverlands event in canon
• As it becomes more and more pressing that Elwyn prepares for the potential disaster of Lucas passing away, it is insisted upon that he finds a wife. Lord Stark found himself most agreeable to offer his former ward and friend of the family, Elwyn, the hand of Elwyn's childhood friend, Lynara
• A year later the wedding is concluded, with Elwyn Tully taking Lynara Stark, henceforth known as Lynara Tully, née Stark, as his wife
• The following year Lynara suffers a miscarriage, the infant being stillborn
• After a period of sadness over Lynara's miscarriage, Elwyn claims victory in a jousting tournament in Riverrun some six months after the fact compound those two as well
• A son, named Merrett Tully, is born 9 months later, conceived on the night of Elwyn's victory in the tournament

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• His sword has fish scales printed into the grip, with the pommel representing the tail of a fish - the cross-guard representing two fins. On the chappe/rain guard is imprinted the symbol of the Tully family - a jumping trout over two waves.

Relations

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• Lucas Tully, Lord Paramount of The Trident, Elwyn's older brother by two years.
• Lynara Tully, née Stark, Elwyn's wife
• Merrett Tully, Elwyn's one year old son

All in all, not a bad sheet. I'd like you to make me care more about Elwyn, and Lynara as well, after your edit. You spent all your writing energy talking about how he holds his shoulders. I trust you to make the edits necessary, so put him in the Character tab when you're done.