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User has no bio, yet i consume the greedy. i rob the thieves. i kill the killers. nobody wants me. if you don't have me, nobody will want you. what's my name?

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Ever since man has been capable of hitting other man with a rock, the world has been divided with power, between those who have it and those who do not. On this world, perhaps even more than ours, this division is more important than any other. Some secure power with the right mechanical gadgets and the years of study necessary to build them. Others seek out power at the bottom of a chemical vat, with the handshake of some otherworldly evil, or in the bite of a genetically unstable exotic pet. A few with enough money or federal funding simply strap six tons of bulletproof power over their chest and call it a day. All of these people, designated by their power, are known as Supers. Some are heroes. Some are villains. Universally, they're all pretty dramatic.

The powers that be reigning in these powerful persons are known as the United States Department of Hero Regulation and the Villain's International League of Evildoing -- they are the respective equivalents of a high-ranking government agency and an international labor union working in tandem to ensure the other side follows roughly the same rules. The fleshbound VILE Codex of Cruelty, for instance, shares no less than 500 identical pages to the official DHR Federal Mandates & Regulations Handbook, and this is no strange coincidence. Both sides have inscrutable teams of lawyers and investigative sub-agencies, and both sides are just about as scary as the IRS when you're on their bad side. Every ten years, they hold a summit to review and revise the rules, and the 2020 summit is to be held only seven days from our story's inception.

Supers!, which I am already regretting stylizing with an exclamation point, is to be a semi-sandbox story -- that means I am giving you a fair amount of freedom with your individual stories and themes -- with two overarching subplots going on for Heroes and Villains. I expect probably two people to apply to this, so accordingly, there are a bunch of rules (not in the annoying "i'm the GM i reserve the right to shit down your chimney" way) in order to ensure that these two people have sheets that demonstrate an understanding of this difficult-to-understand world. With that, I'll drop my GM voice and get down to it.

Character Sheets: Any sheet that includes the sexual orientation section can pound sand. If your character's orientation isn't useful or made apparent in their history or personality -- two parts of the character sheet that exist to answer questions about their experiences, views, lifestyle, etc. -- then it feels sort of tacked-on. I was never a fan of the mandatory image rule, either, as I find it begets itself to lazy descriptions beefed up with arbitrary scars that are never to be heard of again.

Formatting: I have never opened a centered [youtube] song on Roleplayerguild.com and thought to myself "Gee, this song is both musically pleasing and fitting, I sure am glad they put this here." I also never dug GMs who put flavor text all over their interest checks and OOCs. A hackneyed philosophical quote by your header is okay, but anything more than that crosses the line for me.

Build-Up: You can sort of gauge the skill of a GM based on whether or not their interest check sounds like a blurb or a tutorial. If I have to get four paragraphs in to start understanding the interstellar feudal monarchy of the kingdom of Hoopajoop where the story takes place, you lost me. I think the reason for this is that people who base their writing on books they have read use the interest check to act as a blurb -- a literal standard of advertising -- whereas people who base their writing on video games and tv shows are used to media that doesn't need to advertise the meat of their stories, and thus, sounds a little flimsy when presented in this format. When you want to write a story that's ostensibly Halo, the interest check has to build the entire world from the top-down, starting with the fun Master Chief space marines you're trying to sell and ending with the historical reasons for alien military expansion or whatever Halo was supposed to be about.

If I had to pick a single person I wanted to cook and eat the most, it would be Jocko Willink. He has the muscularity of an adolescent beef cow as well as cold, unfeeling blue eyes that would make me comfortable with cloning him on a mass scale and slaughtering/processing the Jockos for consumption. If I had to pick one part of Jocko Willink I wanted to eat the most, it would be the shoulders. I would slice them into neat cuts of chuck. The poor man's ribeye. Of course, I wouldn't squander the shoulders trying to cook them like a proper steak, I would ground Jocko's shoulders into a lean ground human. Isn't it funny how cows in a grinder are ground beef, pigs in a grinder are ground pork, but there's no term for ground human meat yet?

Anyway, I'm getting off the subject. I truly wish to consume the flesh of Jocko Willink. This is not a post-modern joke made funny by devoting a lot of length to an unexpected subject. It's not a hatred thing, I don't want to necessarily kill him. It's not a sexual thing, I see no point in eating Jocko's penis (though I would not be opposed to creating Jocko Ham out of the flank) nor is it some primal desire to consume him and somehow become him or gain his essence. In the purest sense of communicating my thoughts, I proclaim to those of you still listening that I wish to consume Jocko Willink.

I don't know how long I have felt this way, but it would probably be as long as I have known who Jocko Willink is. I felt it the first time I saw him. A reptilian part of my brain that had lain dormant all my life, given to me as a result of knuckle-walking ancestors from millions of years in the past. A part of my brain that saw Jocko and immediately recognized him as a food source, both muscular and marbled, which could keep me alive through the winter. How much fat do you think would be in a gram of Jocko meat? This is just a temporary glimpse into my psyche for you, but these are the questions that constantly elude me.
In Rhyme Time 5 yrs ago Forum: Spam Forum
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