Member
Izurich
Red Wizard
Chrys
MrSkimobileTo say Fionn was half asleep is an understatement. Any time where both the sun and a moon (never mind both of them) are visible in the sky is too early as far as he is concerned, but the responsibility required by duty is greater than his complaints. So here he is, standing attentive despite his body’s cry out for sleep. Though his body may be great by his birthright as a bear, at times like this where it falters, it is up to his mind and spirit to pick up the slack.
Out of both, sheer will power and a little bit of self-hatred, he is able to muster the strength to outwardly appear kept-together and to stand at attention like a stone sentinel, unmoving.
He will not falter, he will not flinch, he will not move until he is told otherwise, he will not…be weak. Weakness. There is a word Fionn hates. A word he hates because he fears it. He fears the idea of being weak. He fears the void within his spirit. He hates the emptiness within himself. He hates himself.
But that is enough of that unconstructive thinking. There is no point in revisiting paths already tread, not when one is looking for a destination. That is the whole point of this, the structured environment and constant orders of the military leaves little room for thinking. It’s pretty simple in fact, he listens for orders and then he does them. Sure, it gets hard sometimes. The mind occasionally fractures in the pressure. The body weakens in the exhausting drills. But neither quite compares to the incompleteness of his spirit. The part he hates himself for, and for him self-hatred is a powerful motivator. The force that strengthens his resolve in adversity. It was that drive, after all, that brought him to this point. Presumably, it was a similarly powerful drive that brought the others here as well.
And then came a distraction that almost broke his stance, a bumbling otter losing her balance in haste, crashing to the ground. A part of Fionn wanted to help her up, but he elected to stay at attention. She did not appear to be hurt, physically at least, anyway.
Then came the brief introduction of his commanding officer. It was also his first opportunity to actually see his commanding officer. Fionn was slightly impressed by his worn appearance. Blade seemed like someone who has, frankly, seen some shit and Fionn could always respect that. Though whether he is one to earn his respect is still to be seen. At the end, he made his first movements in a while, as he silently followed the group onto the ship.
Out of both, sheer will power and a little bit of self-hatred, he is able to muster the strength to outwardly appear kept-together and to stand at attention like a stone sentinel, unmoving.
He will not falter, he will not flinch, he will not move until he is told otherwise, he will not…be weak. Weakness. There is a word Fionn hates. A word he hates because he fears it. He fears the idea of being weak. He fears the void within his spirit. He hates the emptiness within himself. He hates himself.
But that is enough of that unconstructive thinking. There is no point in revisiting paths already tread, not when one is looking for a destination. That is the whole point of this, the structured environment and constant orders of the military leaves little room for thinking. It’s pretty simple in fact, he listens for orders and then he does them. Sure, it gets hard sometimes. The mind occasionally fractures in the pressure. The body weakens in the exhausting drills. But neither quite compares to the incompleteness of his spirit. The part he hates himself for, and for him self-hatred is a powerful motivator. The force that strengthens his resolve in adversity. It was that drive, after all, that brought him to this point. Presumably, it was a similarly powerful drive that brought the others here as well.
And then came a distraction that almost broke his stance, a bumbling otter losing her balance in haste, crashing to the ground. A part of Fionn wanted to help her up, but he elected to stay at attention. She did not appear to be hurt, physically at least, anyway.
Then came the brief introduction of his commanding officer. It was also his first opportunity to actually see his commanding officer. Fionn was slightly impressed by his worn appearance. Blade seemed like someone who has, frankly, seen some shit and Fionn could always respect that. Though whether he is one to earn his respect is still to be seen. At the end, he made his first movements in a while, as he silently followed the group onto the ship.