Aidan kept his mouth forcefully shut for the rest of the evening with the squad, refusing to drink any drop of alcohol since he was already growing drowsy and lightheaded; he knew he could stomach more than two sips, but he almost forgot his body was on morphine, the side effect kicked in quick enough for him to feel distressed. He saw Ken starting to talk, so he pulled hims brain back from its lethargic state and focused on the sounds the wolf's mouth would make until he could make out words; noticing the semi-desperate expression the airman had on his face, Aidan felt a chuckle arriving, but a nasty burp replaced the sound before he answered in a sketchy tone.
"Listen, mang, I got you the booze, you do whatever you wan' with it. Drink it, piss on it, hell, sell it on the black market, I dun' care. If you take a swig, jus' don't get piss drunk. It's 4% vol. pils beer, one bottle and you'll still be fine."
Sitting mostly to fit in the background, the dog had a quiet night idly wasting time while his brain wandered off into the past to re-evaluate his performance on the field, tracking every step: from the beginning of the operation with the assault on the mine entrance, to Arcade's rescue, to Kuraiko's rescue, the mines, the shootout, his wound, the captain's condition. He blamed his rash decision on the pain and distraction overstimulating his synapses, taking away his ability to thoroughly judge risk versus outcome. It would be too late to back out now, since he already took the responsibility of keeping Es in check and alive; it wouldn't be the first time he would do some not-that-legal workarounds to help a friend out; he wasn't a drug dealer, as he had no interest in extra cash that he could only waste on cigarettes he wouldn't smoke, booze he wouldn't drink and whores he would leave untouched. He thought of acquiring a carbine that would suit his needs better than a PDW could, but he kept reminding himself that he was a PILOT, not infantry; one would still argue that GEARs count as heavy infantry, but that didn't motivate the need for a larger firearm since the pilot wouldn't exit the vehicle for other reasons than maintenance or neutralization of the vehicle. It was at this hour that he felt some sort of feeling that nagged him about acquiring a carbine, or at least take a standard issue from the armory, pray that the tactical rails are not different in size and fit the holographic sight on it.
Another thought nagged at him, urging him to get off his feet and get back to duty, so Aidan quietly took his leave without announcing that he was heading away; he picked himself up and let his feet carry him to the sick bay, using the walls around him to support his weight when his vestibular sensors lagged. He ended up in the morgue, where the two coffins were hastily covered with a flag each. Aidan picked up a folding chair from the antechamber and strategically placed himself next to wall that would, more or less, catch his head if he dozed off; at least he would wake up with a headache, not with a bloody nose. If he would fall on the other side, then may gravity have mercy upon his half-handsome face. He booted his PADD sitting on his lap and while the device went through several loading screens, the dog took a moment to look at the two deceased pilots. He got used to sitting for hours next to corpses as some sort of antique honorary act, but he could remember all of their faces and first names. 90% of them weren't from the 137
th, yet, given enough time and energy, Aidan could still make an informative list of each and every of them. To that list, he had to add two more poor sods, one he couldn't save despite his efforts, the other one simply withered away when no one was looking. Both had an incredible potential and talent, and all the reasons to be alive and happy, yet, they were just dead. Along with every inspiring thought, smile, word, imagination and emotion, they become nothing but memories that would also fade and become nothing, given enough time. He himself would become nothing, along with his efforts and dreams. Everyone would one day just read his, or anyone's name, and feel nothing, knowing nothing about those people.
He was too tired to fight off those grim thoughts as he sat slumped on the chair sustaining the dog's weight with some effort, tapping on the surface of the screen until he reached a certain window filled with contacts; there, he double tapped one of the contacts and quickly shoved in the PADD's earpiece. A quarter of the screen was then taken over by a
portrait photo that, even though it showed a relatively bored, but beautiful black tabby, it brought a fond smile upon his wrecked face. With the shoddy connection the landcruiser had, it took a while for the PADD to actually "dial" the contact and when the call finally succeeded, the dog had to wait for about one minute to receive an unresponsive tone, much to his dismay. He couldn't do much about it but to exhale his frustration and try not to worry too much about her unresponsiveness; for all he knew, she could be in the middle of an operation far away from home and, maybe, even civilization. He tried to push away concerns and leave them no place in his mind, the last thing he wanted was a pinch of doubt that could easily tip the scale against his favor and make a lot of mistakes for being emotional; it was hard in the beginning to stay so long away from her, much harder than separating from his family of two brothers, a sister and his parents. Doubts about her loyalty to him would be a daily routine chewing his brains until it would bleed misery, but if that was the case, why would she return to him every time? In a way, her death would be easier to bear than her being unfaithful, a thought that made Aidan question his own morals and mental sanity.
After fifteen minutes of staring at the profile photo had passed, Aidan finally got out of the contact window to access a database with all sorts of pathophysiology and clinical medicine tomes in electronic format, downloading as many of them that suited his needs and about one hour in his vigil, Aidan was fighting for the last drops of focus and consciousness, his eyelids growing heavier by the second and his eyes crossed until he would see three PADDs sitting in his lap. A powerful yank pulled him back to reality when the default ringtone blasted loudly in his right ear, scaring him hard enough to flex his whole body and trigger a jolt of deaf, burning pain in his left arm. He fumbled and nearly dropped the PADD in the process of answering the call, his heart attempting to break his ribcage while his body failed to respond to all of his commands.
"H-hello? Can you... can you hear me? Hello?" Hearing something from the other end made him smile, not really knowing exactly what the other participant was mumbling with an evenly tired voice.
"Wow, I- I didn't think that I'd catch you tonight. It's good to hear from you, how have you been? Yes, I know you can't tell me much, but it's you I want to kn- ah. Mhm. Oh, me?" He briefly looked over to his wounded arm. "Not much going on here. We had some activity here, but all in all, not much. Yeah, it's much more active than back home, but I've been good, busy with these kids here and their bruises and all. Of course. I missed you too, kitty."
The conversation went on for some time, but they had to stop as the network connection strength wavered. Just stalling their goodbyes took several minutes and no matter how long Aidan tried to keep his paramour talking into his ear, the bitter taste in his mouth after the end of the call wouldn't leave him alone. He didn't know if she felt the same, but in a way, he hoped she didn't suffer like he did, it would get in the way of her duty; he was built to be hammered with physical and emotional punishment and hardened his ability with military and medical training, but some things still hit home. He completely lost his focus and gave up reading through any of the tomes he finished copying on his PADD's hard drive and instead started playing some stupid game to keep him distracted, but awake; of course it failed, since Aidan woke up several hours later, confirming to himself that he dozed off by looking at his watch, reading 05:42 AM. He rubbed his eyes and shook his head once violently and took another furtive look at his watch, only to be shocked to the core when he read E2:89 DD instead. As his eyes peered at the odd combination, the room's neon light changed from the sterile white hue to an oppressive grey-green, finding himself surrounded with metallic drawers, each with weird number patterns and no door to exit the morgue.
But he didn't want to replay the dream in his head at the moment, forcing it to the back of his mind; the damage it had done, though, wouldn't be easy to push so easily. He checked, and rechecked, and rechecked his watch, looking for any change of flow in time passage. It was 7:15 AM, then 7:16 AM, then 7:17 AM. It did take a code red alarm to get him up on his feet, crashing the chair on the floor as he dashed from the morgue to the common quarters, ready to break a fight, save a dying man or stop a fire. He only found his superior, two of his colleagues and a lot of croissants; his heart was racing and it did no good to his weakened state, something had took its toll on Aidan's droopy and somewhat unfriendly morning facial expression. He rubbed one of his inflamed eyes and muttered a croaky "Sir" under his breath, sketched a salute and took a seat. He tried as much as he could to not act tired, or as if he was a super fresh dandelion, he instead picked a croissant, plucked away one of its ends and shoved it in his mouth, feeling instant repulsion towards the poor pastry.
"We there yet?" He muttered after he downed the croissant end through his dry throat.