NightinGem

Ignite Heart! A Magical Girl RP

"The purpose of patrol is to locate and sublimate potential threats to human communities. A threat that could reduce a girl of your ability to such a state is more than worth our attention." Shadowrender was such a fool, denying assistance when she most certainly needed it. No matter, Tsubame had dealt with such fools time and again.

"Lotsa magic, lotsa hurt..." Keiko remarked, blowing bits of mane out of her face as she focused her telescope further onto the older, shadowy magical girl. "Who?"

Ignite Heart! A Magical Girl RP

She's not an unsalvageable character, she just has very very few character flaws, most of which are humblebrags, and is rather OP in terms of ability. I'm sorry for overexplaining and probably seeming like a pretentious asshole. (Actually, maybe I'm not? Like I'm sorry if I seemed like an asshole but overexplaining can be good for criticism). Points still stand, though. This is not a character who is conductive to a balanced roleplay, and a character who is unfortunately an archetype of what is known as the Mary Sue, or as the writerchat deemed it in TVTropes form, Power as the Plot Demands It Manic Pixie God Mode Sue.

Ignite Heart! A Magical Girl RP

Okay, so I, uh...please do not think I'm trying to be an ass, but I frequent a writerchat with many English majors and a few professional authors and may have run this character past them...here are my criticisms and suggestions, as supplemented by them.

Your character is sort of overpowered, in the sense that she has little limitation, few character flaws, none of which really balance her abilities, and that her abilities are obscenely multipurpose and effective. Having them only last for a few seconds is not a suitable limitation when they link seamlessly. She's crazily skilled at about everything and bores easily; that about sums up her character. Saying she's jack of all trades, master of none does not excuse this. If humblebrags are your character's only flaws, you should probably rethink the character.

I'm not saying I hate her, but she seems rather one-dimensional, as does her fairy. You have a good writing style, but I'm just not really seeing much that's going to be fun to roleplay with? A combination of overly adaptive and effective powers and a bland personality is just...not fun. Also, her powers seem to be very reminiscent of Darwin from X-Men First Class, though that's not really an issue.

Ignite Heart! A Magical Girl RP

@Crimmy Do what you have to do, and and take care of yourself.

Ignite Heart! A Magical Girl RP

Everything worked out, I'm so happy!

Ignite Heart! A Magical Girl RP

@Feyblue Nah, I think this is just a case of people not knowing/communicating enough and there being conflict as a result. If anything, talking it out further will help, though probably in PM rather than on the thread.

Ignite Heart! A Magical Girl RP

@Feyblue She was tailored in such a way that each bit of her powers was supposed to correspond with her personality, which is why Byte is so hesitant to change things. It's less the gunslinger motif as it is the abilities combined. I'm sorry things got this heated, but it seems communication has opened up enough that misunderstandings are being resolved? ^^;

Ignite Heart! A Magical Girl RP

Sigh. I hope everyone can just work this out, it feels like there is a compromise to this situation that would be attainable once we all cool down. Like, reckless filling of parts of the body with magical energy does indeed fit Akiko's character, and is distinct from gravity manipulation. Maybe Akiko needs to be changed slightly, but I don't think she needs to have her entire ability sacrificed? I hope this sounds clear and makes sense.

Ignite Heart! A Magical Girl RP

@byteoflogic No no no no, you spent so much time and effort on her, we can adjust her to the point where she works, it's okay. Please don't beat yourself up, everything will be fine.

Ignite Heart! A Magical Girl RP

@Feyblue Agree with this. I'll help, if I can, if anything I'm very good at adjusting abilities so they fit roleplay/canon/etc rules or don't overlap, something I totally don't have way too much personal experience with, nope.