PetiteAmbivert

The Beginning of The First Order - 1x1 Mature

"Most charming man in the world huh?" She chuckled before falling silent in thought. Her mentality was something of shit happens and that was it. She tried to find a proper set of words to explain that but the intense beeping sent him out of bed and her following after.

She moved to a standing position ready to move at his word. However, as he expained it was just children she didnt even become angry. Instead she laughed-quite loudly infact. She was not trying to insult him by any means but for this to happen after he questioned if things happened for a reason. It was hilarious. "I dont know about you but if things happen for a reason then the galaxy is messing with you." She laughed more when she took in his appearance,"Id love food but you might wanna..." she gestured to the full length mirror across the room.

He was clearly disheveled with lose hair that stuck oddly and clothing not sitting just right. Kind of like hed just sprinted out of bed. She was just, if not more, disheaveled as him. Her too pulled up from trying to get out quickly, her hair full and down her back, her eyes were still a tad red as she smiled. "I guess you could say we did roll around in the sheets a bit." She moved towards the mirror attemptimg to brush out her hair with her fingers and adjusting her clothing so her body was covered again. She looked at him in the mirror, "What kind of food do you want Mister Most Charming Man in the Universe?"

The Beginning of The First Order - 1x1 Mature

The longer he spoke the harder she listened. At one point she actually pulled away from him to watch him as he returned the favor and massaged her own head, it was extremely soothing to her. Solaras wasnt quite sure how to comfort him but something told her to listen and not speak.

"Its like you said...a file is just a file. The past doesnt mstter anymore." Her hands rose to gently touch his face, small hands on either sides of his cheeks. She stared intently at him as her thumbs rubbed lightly back and forth against his stubbled skin.

"Both of us do what must be done to survive. We are both acting of our free will and nothing would change that. We have both done less than savory things and therr is no denying that." She shifted under the sheets so she could be a tad higher than him, her lips pressing lightly into his own forehead.

She quietly whispered, "What matters is right here and right now. Not what happened when you were ten or eleven or thirteen. Not what happened when you were barely in this universe. What matters is that you are safe and living and breathing and alive." She gently pulled his head towads her chest, cradling it lightly. "You are important Joran and you matter to me."

The Beginning of The First Order - 1x1 Mature

Bitter thoughts spread through her mind and she did try to keep that at bay as much as she could. The shaking going through her body had eased now as Joran warmed her and kept her close. The smile on her face hidden from his sight as the deep vibrations of his voice reverberated through her. She took a deep breath, attempting to steady herself and ease the already slowing tears.

She peeked out from her spot and saw him raising a pinkie. Her heart swelled a moment at the action- it was one she did as a child. She hesitated for a moment before a soft chuckle came from her, her own smaller pinkie wrapping around his own. She kept her pinkie wrapped around his as she adjusted her position so she could look at him from under the sheets.

"Who'd have thunk it." Sol arched a brow and wiped away the last of her tears from her red eyes, "The Smuggler extraordinaire Joran Jace is a big softie who makes pinkie promises." An actual laugh escaped her as she moved back towards him again. "At least you smell nice." She absently said as she just...stayed there. If she could just stay under there with him for the rest of her life she would be fine with that.

The ringing in her ears could only be endured for so long before she spoke again, "You know how I said I didn't exist? I really don't. My file never existed in the first place and when you look up Solaras Apontha all that comes up is my political history. My file says I'm from Naboo not a whore house in Coruscant. It says my mother and father were killed in a star ship accident. I don't know how my father is and my mother was an escort who died at the hands of her kid when she tried to stop her mother's boss from choking her to death when she said she was stealing credits from him.. The kid lost her control and electrocuted them to death. It was an accident of course but an event that happened none the less. " She spoke in a clinical manner- it was easier for her to detach herself from the situation that way. "It also says I graduated out of one of the First Order academies... I never actually went to school. I taught myself after 'He' took me in. I had tutors but they were all droids."

She didn't know why she was saying all of this but somewhere in her heart she just wanted to share with him and hoped he would do the same with her. She trusted him.

The Beginning of The First Order - 1x1 Mature

The sensation of the blankets over her bare arms went unnoticed while the feeling of Joran so close and pressed against her was all she could really feel. She didn't care that he moved them. She didn't care that he held her. She didn't care that he wiped away her tears even though she couldn't look at him. She feared what she would see- she feared his pity. It was something that made her stomach churn while the tears fell.

Her skin pricked hot as he pressed his lips and words into her forehead. She believed him, she didn't sense he was lying to her. Something of a choked laugh escaped her as she kept her eyes closed, pushing her face into his neck a bit more. "You must think I'm pathetic, huh. Mighty Knight who can't even keep it together on a stake out mission." Her words were cutting but only towards herself. Her body betrayed her as she moved as close as she would manage towards him under the sheets. He was safety. He was warmth. Two things she so desperately craved though she'd yet to even admit it to herself.

The Beginning of The First Order - 1x1 Mature

Muscles all through her body tensed as she felt him shift and slip and arm behind her, eventually pulling her into his lap. Her heart was clenching tightly in her chest and her throat burning more with each passing second. A frown on her face now and her brows pushed towards one another as she tried, in vain, to resist the tears.

The close contact of his cheek on hers and his hand in hers is what broke her. She leaned into him and pulled their laced hands towards her chest where her other hand tightly grasped it. It was clear now she was shaking and openly crying. She hadn't cried like that in years....perhaps now was time for it to happen. She whimpered in response to his words.

Despite her dislike for physical contact she couldn't help but lean into him more. For once, in a very long time, she felt safe. She felt warm even if she was crying over a broken heart of her mother. "I couldn't save her." She choked out. She only shook more. "I couldn't save my mother and she's dead because of me." She sniffled as she pressed their hands to her lips before speaking again with her eyes closed. "I promised her I would take her all over the galaxy when I was older. I never wanted her to live in that damn slum house again and yet I couldn't save her." Sol had no idea why she was saying all of this but the clenching on her heart eased up just a bit.

The Beginning of The First Order - 1x1 Mature

A soft chuckle escaped her as she too realized he was right about Snoke seeing them as pets. It was almost creepy but then again she understood why he would look at them like that. After Order 66 Force Sensitives were a very rare commodity. "Well so long as we obey him, to some form of it anyways, then he treats us well." It was a casual statement but a realization none the less.

Her hands switched from scratching him to following his jaw line and down his neck. She simply followed the natural curves to his body only to return up top and follow it again. Solaras had never really been this close, physically, to someone so it was odd for her and somewhere in the back of her mind she watched for any sign of him being uncomfortable. She stared across the room in thought as her hands continued to run through his hair, down the sides of his face, and down his neck. It was almost a massage style of movement.

A small smile spread across her face as a story came to mind.

"So, fun fact, I'm from Courscant. When I was a little girl I remember my mother telling me about all the places in the Galaxy that she'd read about in the little holopad she cared for so dearly." She turned her head down to look at him again though her hazel eyes not really focusing on him- dilated as she thought about her memories. "She used to read to me when she was home from her job and tell me allllll about stars and planets and all kinds of things she was interested in. My mother was a very smart woman, too smart for her own good some times." Her throat clenched a moment before she continued.

"So there was this one day when she and I went out into orbit. She'd been saving up and I had just started working at the House so I had a few extra credits to help, and we stayed in orbit on a ship-which, looking back it was probably the ship of one of her clients- and watched Corascant for a full rotation. We watched the planet shine and sparkle- even all the way from orbit- in the day time and shine like million or billions of tiny suns in the darkness. That was my first ever experience with space." She smiled again but her glazed over eyes began to well up. "I still think it was the single most beautiful thing I've ever seen." She quietly added as tears dropped down onto Joran. Her face was calm and the tears just came.

It took her a moment to realize she'd been crying- snapping upwards and pulling her hands away from him. Her cheeks were flared red as she used the hem of her shirt to wipe away the liquid. The action showed her midsection but the embarrassment of crying had been more than enough to let the thought slip her mind. "I'm sorry. I didn't- I shouldn't have done that." She questioned between furious wipes of her face trying to make it stop at the cost of her reddened skin.

The Beginning of The First Order - 1x1 Mature

Solaras was at a lose of words as he spoke about accepting death, she too had followed in those same steps. Although, she lived her life out of spite. Out of the sheer desire to live a life that meant something and not die in some room where no one would find the body until she was too far gone. She shivered as he adjusted slightly to use her leg as a pillow, something of a soft hum coming from the back of her throat as she looked down at him- studying his face while still rubbing circles and dragging her nails through his oddly soft hair.

An eyebrow popped in her signature way when the extra week was mentioned. Red flags of duties and jobs sounded off in her head but she pushed them away as his words invaded her ears. "You just want to spend more time with me in a tiny room don't you? It's alright, you can admit it. I don't judge...most of the time." She teased as a real smile spread across her lips. She curled over herself more, her hair falling over her shoulders as she gently scratched under his chin, "There there little kitten." She mused further still with a smile.

"Since it's still story time.." She paused clearly unsure of her words at this point. Solaras straightened her back up while one hand still lingered in his hair and the other absently running her nails back and forth under his chin ever so lightly, her eyes shifting away and the slightest blush across her cheeks, "...is there a story you'd like to hear about? One I could tell?" It was plain as day she wasn't used to sharing about herself but in this room, on this planet, she felt it might be alright.

The Beginning of The First Order - 1x1 Mature

All the while he spoke Solaras stared at the ceiling, taking key notes in her head and yet she couldn't help it. Her browns knit together and her lips turned into a frown. She willed the stinging in her eyes to go away with each passing word. It was nearly impossible so a hand rose to ruba t her eyes-hoping he didn't see the emotions threatening to show themselves.

When he looked over at her it was clear she was still thinking. "Don't say sorry..." she quietly said as she sat up on the bed. She didn't look at him for a moment, the back of her hand wiping away the last droplets from her lashes. "There is no need to say sorry about something like that...but I am sorry that you had to go through that. At least now they are at peace." Those latter words were ones she'd told herself so many times before.

She finally did look over at him trying to smile. "You're a pretty strong person you know that right?" She meant what she was saying as she shimmied her way to the top of the bed. She pressed her back to the bed's backboard before crossing her legs again, patting her legs as she looked at him. A signal for him to rest his head there. When he did her nails gently massaged into his scalp- a gesture she knew she enjoyed so he should too? "You've survived quite a bit and yeah you're a loud mouth but you've made it this far right? Death is not something that can be happy but it is just another step all of us must take." She stared across the room while she massaged his scalp-enjoying the silence for a moment. "Two more days. Two more days and then we leave this planet and tell Snoke it's no good and it's lost to the First Order alright? We can destroy it in the future, yeah?"

The Beginning of The First Order - 1x1 Mature

Solaras gripped her ankles while listening to him. "The databanks for specifics are either single use password locked or arent there at all. It's not something uncommon in our line of work. I report everything directly to Snoke since I don't really exist." The words burned her tongue as she said them, her jaw clenching at her own slip up.

She continued to watch him pace, her eyes following him before rolling. "When you never stop talking it's hard to get you out of my mind."

Her skin pricked as he spoke about his past. It confused her more than anything but she listened, leaning forward a bit like she was taking in each detail. She didn't respond for a moment before she quietly stood and moved to the end of the bed. She stood there for a moment like she was making a decision before she gently sat on the edge of the bed, reaching back and pulling down her hair so it fell heavy against her back and laid back as well- looking at the ceiling. It barely fit them both but they fit none the less. "Alot of things have changed over the years. Mistakes are bound to be made and we learn from them..." She looked over at him with an uptilt of her chin since she was quite a bit shorter than him. "What happened?" It was clear she was curious but if he didn't care to elaborate she was prepared to change the topic.

The Beginning of The First Order - 1x1 Mature

She sat content until his mouth began putting his thoughts into words. Solaras sat up a bit, focusing back in on him. She carefully watched him as he seemed almost distraught over their current situation. She spoke with a higher level of calm than her usual, "I dont think its that we have been made its that they are being extra careful. The First Order just broke away from all politcal parties and the ones that dont support The First Order support The Resistance. They are very likely being weary of their gatherings and their movements now. They could even spread false information as way of weeding out the traitors or the informants."

As he began to ask what was in her file she pulled her feet away from him. Her brows pulled together in focus as she pushed her mind towards him. She felt his heartbeat sensed his emotions-his desire to know with nothing malicious laced into it. It wasnt detailed but it was something. She sighed, releasing her control on the Force, before pulling her feet under her again.

"Joran Jace. Home planet: Lothal. Blood Type: B positive. Age: 25. Gender: Male. Species: Human. Occupation: Smuggler and known mercenary. Current status: Active. Mission count: 47. Known kills: Unknown-approximately 200. Force Sensative: Abilities still under research. Standard pay: 20000 standard credits per mission. Other: The Resistance wants him alive not dead; reasons unknown."

She recited back his file to him without wavering. She had no reason to lie to him and no reason yo hide anything;it might come back and bite her in the ass but shed just have to hope her saber was quicker. She remained silent, watching with reason and slight curiosity at the consciousness of information known on him.

"Do you want to see the physical file? I have the holopad with me." To be fair shed been doing research for in the hours she couldnt sleep or wasnt on watch.