Avatar of Plank Sinatra

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3 yrs ago
Current deconstructions are fake lol
1 like
3 yrs ago
"return of the mack, you know that i'll be back." in his bed, joe biden lurches awake, wild-eyed. many a year he has watched, waited for the mack's return. hes as ready as he will ever be. he t-poses
3 yrs ago
Today Show 9-11-01 ~ Live on NBC as Tragedy Occurred [s l o w e d + r e v e r b]
1 like
3 yrs ago
40 hours into the mass effect remaster. gameplay is good but not sold on the plot changes. wish garrus would stop saying "reaper? i hardly know her!" laugh track on the normandy is a weird choice too
6 likes
4 yrs ago
fine, since you asked so nicely officer, i will confess my crimes. since i was seven years old i have refused to match any socks in my sock drawer. i practice sock hookup culture. i am a slut
7 likes

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Interacting with: Nobody atm (Jonas @HereComesTheSnow, Vivian @Altered Tundra mentioned)


It was a rare and terrible thing when Dallas Relo was speechless in rage.

The dynamic duo of Dallas and Jonas had been throwing parties on Olympus Academy grounds since their first year, when a hastily-struck alliance to pirate the Weidman/Silva rematch and a couple of beers had blossomed into the truest friendship of Dal's life. They had thrown a Christmas party weeks later on the campus grounds, then a Valentine's Day party, then an Easter party (a bit of a jab at the gods? Maybe. But Dallas had been a Catholic in an old life, and these things still mattered) and on and on and on the fuck on. It had been in their first year that Dallas had conspired to first slip past the barrier around Olympus Academy.

It wasn't as awful as it sounded - and, he liked to note with some pride, he'd learned to do it long before he'd even learned Bekah existed. Granted, it was a simple bit of mischief to do in hindsight; more likely than not some demigod or another over the years had figured out how to do it when things got truly desperate. Whether he was standing on the shoulders of giants or not, he had figured it out in only his first year - and judging by the fact that his parties reigned uncontested in his half decade tenure at Olympus, he felt pretty confident that he and Jonas were the only students alive with the knowledge to do it. On its face, the barrier was a mighty, intangible iron curtain, capable of absorbing and refracting any energy by a demigod thrown at it. It made slipping out of the academy's curfew with the use of your powers nearly impossible - but it was still just that, intangible, and could be bypassed if it were fooled. Dallas had spent weeks practicing his illusions at the barrier as a first year, attempting to trick it into thinking one Relo was another, or another, or another. Eventually, as he practiced earlier and earlier in the morning and spent more and more time in the sunlight, his illusions had reached a point where even the barrier was fooled by which Dallas Relo was capable of passing through it and which wasn't. Over time, and with more practice, he was able to survey the area surrounding the barrier while on-campus at fall or winter break and figure out paths, weak points where you could fit another student or two on a trip out.

Or, say, a truck. A truck that could carry a lot of beer, and a meathead capable of navigating it through the mountains.

But such a thing never did any damage to the barriers - they just had to get back by sunset for Dallas to be able to refract sunlight back into it, and the barrier would register the pulse as a fruitless escape attempt and soak up its power. Often the invisible air seemed grateful for the extra juice; for a second it would go from transparent to translucent, a brief shimmer in the air from heat and light that clued an eagle-eyed observer in to the existence of a safeguard. His escape attempts made him more certain of the barrier's fortitude, if anything; he was sure the headmaster and headmistress could brute force it, and he had found a few little paths in and out, but that was it. There was no way to just break the fucking thing. He wasn't that strong. Right?

No.

There was no way. He hadn't done anything they hadn't done for years, Dallas was positive of that. But the idiot head motherfuckers in charge didn't want to hear that from him - with uncharacteristic urgency, Dallas had warned them that no, this wasn't his fault, something was wrong with the Academy's defenses. He had let his guard down, just for a second, sleep deprived and bones quaking with fury at the danger his friends - his sister - had been placed in, and they had looked at him like dog shit and threatened them all with expulsion. Like Dallas could give a fuck about not being forced to come to some godly boot camp where he could relearn the same myths he'd learned in fifth grade. Like he could give a fuck about anything other than the fact that it was him on the cross for this, 'Dallas Relo's party' being held up as an example to rule breakers and miscreants about the dangers of ignoring the Academy's rules, when it was the staff ignoring actual threats to the Academy.

Like they thought he would actually put Viv in fucking danger.

The mountain air felt thin in his heaving lungs this morning, and his hands were quaking from the heat and strength of the sunlight, burrowing into pores and boiling his blood. It filled Dallas with the comfortable, familiar buzz of power in his veins.

We didn't do anything wrong! he wanted to scream into the empty courtyard, but only the bench he was pacing circles around would have heard him.


Like they thought he would actually put Viv in any fucking danger.

One hour since they had been dragged into the Headmaster's office and read the Riot Act, and still the words had been stripped from Dallas' incredulous throat. Words wouldn't express how he felt. So he screamed.

It was long. High. Furious. The scream only died when his throat started to break, still parched from alcohol consumption and his wasted explanations. When his voice finally cracked and the red left his vision, the park bench was the last thing to come into view; it had flown forty meters from the strength of his toss, and against all odds had landed askew in the branches of an imposing-but-ancient oak tree that had been dying since the oldest student was born. The branches of the poor old oak were holding the bench for now, but a shower of leaves was raining from the branches on its right side, which made loud groans of protest with every bounce of momentum from the bench put.

Fuck. I should get that down, he thought, guilt forcing a deep sigh from his lungs while the anger slowly stopped lapping away at his insides. It seemed like he had two choices on how to get it down; fall and cushion it, fucking up his back or ribs, or break the branches and dismember even more of the oak tree beyond repair.

Dallas stared at the swaying bench for a second before turning and stalking away from it, headed nowhere in particular on campus. Blaming him for breaking shit that was already busted seemed to be this year's MO already.






"Sun's out," Harada Dana observed, leaning out the open window of Apartment 2B with her elbows on the windowsill and the aforementioned star reflecting off her smile. "Dal-kun's blood is gonna cook. Very funny."

Not that Dana could blame the hotheaded, short-sighted heart of her friend group for his irritation at the situation. Dana had been roused from a perfectly blissful night of revels and then deep, deep sleep to be informed that they were being summoned for a lecture. At first she assumed it was because they had forgone the second bedroom in their dorm and turned it into Dana's exercise palace, but no. It turns out that the staff had no problems with the bedroom situation. That was good. The girls didn't either. They weren't even here about the noise complaints emanating from the bedroom after their return from the party, which was good too. Baka was always feisty after getting to play with weapons.

It turned out they were here about playing with the weapons at all, which was very rude, and very unfair considering none of them had even conjured a shadow demon. All she did was sit on a truck and admire all the skin everyone had on display all night. If she had wanted to dice that ghoul into sashimi she could have. But she sat still and followed the rules, and was still being threatened with expulsion for her restraint. Expulsion meant it would be harder to take trips here, especially on student visas.

Very rude. She had already texted her mother asking for legal advice, and would be getting onii-chan to communicate with Father about white phosphorus usage on impolite teachers immediately.

For now, she was just having fun watching Dallas throw furniture around. It was always more fun - and more safe for others - when he went outside and did it for a change. Americans were so hot under the collar. She liked that in them. Boys and girls alike.

"Ngh."

"Don't be so grumpy," she chided the girl who had managed to bury and tangle herself in the mess they'd made of the covers overnight. "You're white. You'll wrinkle."


...

"Fine. I'll be the one to say it. Anyone seen Get Out?"

Lauren Negasi frowned at her team, her teeth certainly not chattering. Her teeth were, in fact, enjoying hot girl summer to the max, currently engaged in a torrential on-and-off fling that brought them into contact with each other time and again - oral sex, if you would. No doubt a foreign concept to a boy from a small town in Vale where nobody knew how to find the clitoris.

"Okay, fine. How about Jurassic Park? Samuel L. Jackson, coldest motherfucker to ever live. He took three steps down a ramp, and what did they do? Those raptors ran the nigga for his own leg. Nuh uh. Nooo way. From now on I pick the missions. Does anyone feel that buzz?"

Of course, part of her routine was keeping spirits light, but Lauren had always been a girl with a honed survival instinct, ready to bail on people or situations that were clear lost causes. If this were a side street in Mistral, she would have thrown Sangue - the only person here who didn't deserve to die - over her shoulder like a sack of wheat and booked it back to an escape route. She probably wouldn't even struggle. She could teach Sangue to use that prosthetic to hijack cars, and they could set up a fun new side gig somewhere nice...far from Mistral...

Maybe give Atlas a chance again. Or head to Vacuo. Somewhere she could find Umeko Kawaguchi and grovel for pussy. She wasn't too dignified for it.

Then she found Ben's big, blue, guileless eyes - like an innocent little lamb who'd never seen a pair of titties. Something in her gave. She had to be strong in her capacity as team leader.

"Well, the plot of Get Out is that this bad white bitch leads you to this factory in the rich part of town so they can stuff your grandparents' minds in the bodies of strong, able young OGs. Which makes me an OG, y'all two motherfuckers the bad bitches, and this place..." Lauren craned her head to look suspiciously into the elevator, lit up like a sign from God.

"The Nigga Conversion Factory."

"Lorena. Get out."

"The Nigga Conversion Factory. Get Out's the movie. If I start acting differently, ask me about tennis. I don't know shit about tennis so if I can answer, then you'll need to get my real brain back. In the meantime....hhhhh. Let's just take the ramp. But if something eats my leg y'all two will be the ones cryin' about it, with your horny asses."
Yeah, 1.5 sounds best to me.
Nobody even survives trips through the Sunset Sea anyway. It's not limited to Arya. It's just...humans in general fare like shit when you send them west of the Iron Islands.
It's a fantastic setting, so I'd be interested in seeing whatever you come up with.


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Location | Las Vegas, Nevada
Las Vegas Time | 11:32 AM / London Time | 7:32 PM / Moscow Time | 9:32 PM
Interacting with | AJ @TootsiePop / Val (mentioned) @Dirty Pretty Lies / Nate @spooner

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If they had been in Reno, or Salt Lake City, or even the weed-infested hive of Denver, Aleks would have snapped by now.

It was uncharacteristic for the roughneck nights of the oligarch's heir to appear on his face, but a combination of unfortunate events had conspired this morning to put actual circles underneath Aleks' eyes and a jittery, impatient energy into his fingers. Monica's departure the previous night had been something he had been forewarned of; her parents, forever pushy about her choice of undergrad degrees, had summoned her home for another one of the strict talks they loved to subject her to. AJ hadn't been warned, but that wasn't particularly shocking, either. In any event, it wasn't the end of the world - we'll meet up after Thailand, they had promised each other with a hug and kiss, and Monica had ridden off west again in the dead of night to confront the hydra of a demanding family unit.

Yessi had proven a more unpleasant surprise. This morning he had returned from his run (four miles in the desert, a rare treat that was up on the 'dumb fucking maneuvers' list between pissing onto an electric fence and dragging Beyonce online) to wake up his best friend with his typical candor in the face of her tequila-fueled benders and found her violently ill, curled up in the cabin she'd staked out and dependent on a bottle of pills to even stay conscious. He had wanted to stay with her once it became apparent that she was in no fit state to travel, but when she had finally managed to get a message out between the waves of side-wracking vomiting, he could make one coherent sentence out between the foreign curses and the groans of discomfort - you love Vegas, dumbass, go to Vegas. Only that directive, plus the thought of AJ alone on the road during this mess, managed to get him away from Yessi.

She promised she would catch up, and he believed her - maybe she would even bring a fucking car that could function in the heartland - but that didn't change the fact that the lonely Nevada drive without Yessi made him feel as though he'd lost something vital. Like he'd tried to hit the gas pedal only to realize he'd lost his fucking legs to a shark, or something. Only occasional speakerphone calls with AJ and his playlist filled the funeral-like silence inside Aleks' Lotus - and even the music lost its succor without fighting over music choices with Yessi. Listening to 7 Rings a million times was less endearing when it was him looping it instead of her.

Even AJ, Aleks' last and strongest bastion of brotherhood, had been a wreck. Aleks had taken up his normal role as AJ Tyler's shadow; even here in the lounge, Aleks was rooted firmly beside the Gearheads' ringleader, kicked back on the couch beside AJ with one hand around his shoulder and the fingers of the other holding his cigarette to his mouth. But it hadn't been an altogether pleasant experience.

AJ brooding over the end of his relationship was something he could deal with, but AJ brooding over the beginning of Val's was another animal entirely - and truthfully, the new power couple was starting to make a vein throb even in Aleks' temple. When his autopiloted brain had heard the cries the night before, it brought a wry smile to his face while he performed his card tricks, and he supposed he had even fallen into a sort of half-sleepy reverie to them. While AJ had been volatile, one wrong word away from an explosion until they were in the cars, Aleks had actually found Valeria's afterglow kind of adorable. When AJ had stopped to fix an angry glare on her, sweltering and furious in the California heat, the beleaguered Aleks - in the middle of trying to salvage Yessi's health and travel status - had been looming over his shoulder to fix his pint-sized friend with an exhausted smile and a mouthed Good for you.

But that had been in California. They were in Vegas now, and they were still fucking going on about it. He'd had great sex before, too, but sex was like a phone call with your parents. Too much of it too often would only make it a fucking chore - and none of your friends wanted to see it or hear a fucking word about it. Hearing coy dialogue about Nate's dick size like they were still fucking fifteen was almost enough to make him dig one of his cigarettes into each ear.

He had gone through a lot of cigarettes since leaving Yessi. He had even caught himself about to light up in his car - a survival instinct that overruled any of his normal rational thought - around the state line. He had switched to candy for a while after that, but by now he needed the smokes again. It wasn't the healthiest of breakfasts, especially not in regular intervals for four hours, but the fucking hobo they had somehow picked up for the ride seemed to live off the same diet and keep some measure of his roguish good looks. Aleks didn't even want to get started on that acquisition. Losing Yessi and gaining the hobo who had given her his stale-ass weed in the first place was like cutting off his arms and replacing them with fucking pool noodles.

At least they had AJ's cousins to look forward to. AJ seemed exhausted by the very idea of them, which was fair, but Aleks didn't mind. The small handful of occasions he'd met the Kables, they had always taken to him fairly easily. But even he was in no mood to deal with them on an empty stomach. The burrito boy was right. Aleks tilted his head up slightly, chin resting on the small hint of his lean chest that lay revealed by the two shirt buttons the Russian had undone.

"I want," Aleks took a long, deliberate drag off of his cigarette, which did nothing to help the cavernous feeling in his stomach and chest, "more burgers. Greatest American food. First round is on me."


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Location | Red Rock
Los Angeles Time | 9:11 PM / London Time | 5:11 AM / Moscow Time | 7:11 AM
Interacting with | Ellie @Bee (Mentions: AJ @TootsiePop, Yessi @Hoekage /    pink 

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The Gearheads liked to say that Aleks never slept. Obviously the idea was ludicrous at face value; after all, Yessi alone had seen him fall asleep a hundred times, and he was sure once or twice he'd dozed off on the couch at Monica's place watching movies with her. Once he'd fallen asleep behind the wheel while driving AJ away from a drunken, tearful argument - another death throe in the forever war that was his comrade's relationship with that forgettable gossipy twink. Luckily AJ's vision had been bleary from salt and whiskey, and he hadn't caught on to Aleks' brief recharging period. It was for the best. Even Aleks' corpse would have made for a better driver than AJ operating under...ideal conditions. But from an outside perspective it certainly seemed true. Aleks was on call like a doctor, a doctor who made a habit of appearing in parking lots or at bars with more scrapes and bruises than his patients when summoned. You ain't never had a friend like him.

Part of being a well-mannered, hyper-engineered, sexually fluid post-Soviet Terminator with a lack of personal drama and a head full of bedroom secrets and ideas that were as debauched as they were highly classified meant that part of Aleks was always mentally prepared for whatever the remaining parts of their fucked up Voltron-esque auto-clique was throwing at him. In lieu of sleep, generally that meant falling into a sort of sleep mode - a series of patterns, simple activities that required no higher function. Shuffling cards was near the top of this list of the T-800 'Aleks' Model's approved autopilot features - sitting directly below handjobs and above chin ups.

Jesus, no wonder Yessi thinks I'm a head case.

But hey, which one of them was the lunatic who thought it was okay to barter off their dearly beloved's fucking stuff for a sport they didn't even like? If he started selling off Yessi's jewelry in order to go watch water aerobics, Aleks guessed the first words out of her mouth in Spanish wouldn't exactly be fucking 'te amo.'

Ellie is talking to you.


The arrival of a friend was enough to snap Aleks out of his reverie; the abrupt break in his concentration was almost enough to send the deck flying, turning what was a simple overhand shuffle into an impromptu game of fifty-two pickup. Instead, he corrected; the cards all landed in his hand, a half a dozen at a time sliding along into a uniform deck, with no rounded corners of askew cards to detract from the set's perfection. He looked up at his fellow Gearhead and pursed his lips in a faint smile, colder and more rehearsed than the warmth of a chocolate brown eye winking closed and open at her.

"Hey," he greeted her simply, "yeah."

He started shuffling again, although this time he directed his attention up to Ellie instead of towards the cards. There was someone to focus on now; the autopilot was no longer an option.

"I learned at Piccadilly," he explained. "These days it's nothing but a tourist trap, but it's also a quick and dirty choice for a field trip. We went when I was in Yearrrrrrr...6 or 7. 7. One of the attractions there was this douchebag from Italy, skimming fifty quid at a time off of foreigners who didn't know better. So I gave him fifty quid at a time, let him think I was son of a shepherd Russian boy, and eventually I knew every trick in his book. Last time Yessi and I were in Vegas I made the money back, so it was a solid investment. And it's a fun way to distract your drunk friends."

Aleks turned his head slightly towards Yessi, taking a long drag off of the Manson Family peace pipe. He heard his best friend make a playful joke about them all being murdered while high. More like I'll be murdered and she'll wind up one of his wives. If the bearded newcomer was actually a cult leader, he pitied him. Yessi wouldn't even believe that he was at home exercising instead of eating another girl out. Good luck making her believe in Heaven's Gate.

And AJ...

He took a long, shallow breath and shrugged his eyebrows in the direction of their wayward, fearless leader before looking back to Ellie. Instead of the weed or booze that many of the Gearheads liked to indulge, he unfolded another strawberry Starburst and popped the candy into his mouth, letting it settle into his right cheek.

"This turned into a shitshow fast, huh?"
Firuzeh looked at the group, weighing her options for a moment. She knew they all viewed her as an immature fool likely to die as soon as the bullets flew - or at least, that was her own impression. She looked ahead into the tunnel, closing one eye as her vision shifted into infrared. There was little she could make out in the tunnel immediately to their front, indistinct temperatures and shapes, but nothing that signified a life form lurking in wait.

“I’ll take point.” She piped up after a moment’s silence, tapping her temple, “Cybernetic lets me see in infrared, if there’s anything hiding in the darkness I’ll pick out their body heat before it’d ever be possible to see them with the naked eye.”

“I’ll head up front too,” piped up the crew’s most amiable (and charming, and handsome, and for sure the most humble!) component, easy-going grin already firmly painted across his face. He had been looking at the body expressionlessly, watching the poor fucker marinate in the darkness and sewage they were now intent on navigating, but the thought of leading the charge through such enticing dangers had breathed life back into his upbeat demeanor.

“I ain’t no fucking good to anyone stuck back here. Might be that I’d be more good up there. And if anything jumps out or bumps into us, seems I’m the most expendable too. Fuck yeah.”

Firuzeh looked back at the man volunteering himself for point alongside her, and grinned. "You saying you feel like playing booby trap detection? That's the vibe I'm getting. More power to you, but I'll let this do the finding for me." With a mechanical finger she tapped the ring of her eye socket. "Nevertheless, good to be on the front with you. I'll try to save some for you if we run into anyone."

Jackson sidled up from his original haunt, near the back of the unit, to stand near Firuzeh; the cowboy seemed unperturbed by his surroundings or by the tiptoeing and wriggling he had to do to skirt around the body. The Turian had the right of it, as far as movement was concerned; they were a large crew, and it’d be a real son of a bitch for a third of the crew to be shaved right off the top, even if it meant more room for the survivors to stretch their legs back on the ship. The hardass turian and the batarian were a good fit for holding up the rear, and he had no concerns about their ability to do so. But he felt like a weak link back there, and if it came to combat in these cramped spaces, nobody was going to be doing much fighting at the ranges they would need to fire at. If it came to hand and hand, Jace alone would be able to kill four times his number, and the techno-sadist beside him seemed to value her own capabilities in a fight.

He gave the Persian woman a look for the first time since dinner the previous evening. He’d seen a few like her during his years in the galaxy’s seedier combat circuits - men and women who had been so thoroughly damaged putting their bodies on the line for petty cash that they spent on third-class hatchet jobs and prosthetics. Occasionally, the idea proved successful, if sacrilegious to the body; in theory any cyborg was a pain in the ass to defend against, and the slap of a titanium arm or leg against flesh would render an average human’s leg insensate with pain. In Jackson’s experience, the jobs were shoddily done, and the visible buildup of scar tissue and poor grafting work done where sinew met steel were as obvious as tattooed bullseyes.

The work done on this broad was similar to those back-alley surgeries at first glance. To him, it looked as though whoever had done Firuzeh’s work had a decidedly more utilitarian purpose in mind when welding her cybernetics on. The same tell-tale signs of grafting had been visible the night before, in more casual attire, but there was nothing so shoddy as the body modification that Jackson had seen done to poor, desperate fighters in his time. Firuzeh seemed far more capable of wreaking havoc with that arm, too. The limb seemed to be the extent of the work done on her, but there may just as easily have been shit done to her on the inside that had required a more subtle touch than the arm. After all, she’d said she had infrared, right? Not his problem.

He was happy he wouldn’t be on the receiving end of her - at least for a while. At least he’d gotten a look at her that hadn’t prioritized what her ass looked like.

Jace stuck a hand up in a wave and winked at her, carefree and seemingly ignorant of his surroundings, in response. A callow gesture on its surface? Sure. But notably, he had taken care to steer away from the krogan who was pillaging the poor dead fucker’s omni-tool for information, and he was careful not to talk over the crew members discussing the state of the corpse or the meaning behind it.

Firuzeh nodded, returning the gesture with her free hand. She did not care to examine the body in detail like the rest of the team did - everything relevant to her had been plainly evident after a scant thirty seconds of investigation. Her focus now was on whoever had inflicted the killing, as as the party pulled what information they could from the body, she periodically scanned the darkness of the looming tunnel, though she did not expect to see anything. Whoever it was, whatever it was, it would have long ago moved on from the scene of the crime.

She looked the man over, noting his build and stature. Clearly, he was accustomed to fighting, and from the look she could feel him giving her, he too was sizing up her own competency should things get hairy. “How do you want to handle this?” She murmured, gesturing to the tunnel ahead, “I reckon I take the lead and let you lot know if I see anything. Don’t want to give away our presence with a bunch of flashlight beams.”

“And I’ll shoot over your shoulder,” Jackson agreed genially, his grin leaving her and falling onto the body and those gathered around it. By now their crew had dissolved into squabbles over what would be done if the third party that had left this poor bastard had already reached their target - or worse, taken her off the chessboard entirely. Jace inhaled through his teeth and let out the breath imperceptibly, grin fading into a pair of pursed lips.

"Only if it was that easy. What if our target's dead or captured? What do we do then?" one of the scruffier humans in the party asked. Fucked if Jackson could remember his name right now.

Ho-ly hell, this is gonna head sideways.

“Well, way we’re goin’ so far I think any first-rate crew could beat us to the punch,” the cage fighter jested. “If somethin’ more polished has already gotten to her and cleaned her clock, might be that we don’t need to be fuckin’ with ‘em.”




The conquering hero (both myself and my character) are finally done! True to my word, I got it up before I slept.

Which I will now do. Congrats to everyone who got their sheets in; like I said, they all look great, and I hope we all have a great time playing together.
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