Clementine’s eyes flickered from the dancing flames to Nathaniel, her expression hardening slightly as she tried to mask her inner turmoil. She noted the concern in his eyes, starkly contrasting the detachment she often felt from those around her.
“Yeah, well,” she began, her voice tinged with an edge that betrayed her attempt to sound nonchalant.
“I’m fine.”
She lifted her chin just a fraction, a subtle sign of defiance that only someone who knew her well would catch. Despite her efforts to appear unaffected, there was an underlying tension in her stance, the way she clenched her fists and avoided meeting his gaze directly. Nathaniel’s perceptive eyes wouldn't miss the telltale signs. He had seen Clementine enough times to recognize when she was lying. He would quickly be able to tell there was more beneath her façade or that she held back. One of the perks of having to defend Clementine multiple times and wrestle the truth out of her stubborn personality.
“I'm fine," Clementine repeated, her voice firmer now, trying to reinforce her first 'I'm fine' as she focused on the fire. “Why wouldn't I be fine?!” she asked accusatorially, but it was more directed at herself, than Nathaniel really. There was a spark of force to her voice and the flames in the barrel reacted to her tone for a second.
She glanced briefly at Nathaniel, a flicker of something almost vulnerable in her eyes before she quickly masked it with a dismissive shrug. “So yeah, fine.” Her final 'fine' seemed to have solidified her mask to hide the truth.
She turned her attention back to the fire, feeling its warmth against her skin but struggling to find the same comfort within herself. The concern from Nathaniel was a fleeting balm, but it was a reminder that even amidst her struggles, there were moments of unexpected support and she never knew how to handle it. As she stared into the flames, Clementine's thoughts churned. Her mind kept replaying the moment she had burned the soldier's hands, the agonizing scream, and the smell of charred flesh. Part of her recoiled in horror, repulsed by the brutality and the pain she had inflicted. She knew it was wrong—she knew it deep down, beyond the adrenaline and the chaos of the moment.
Yet, buried beneath the horror was an unsettling, twisted sense of satisfaction. It was a dark, primal part of her that had found a disturbing thrill in the power she had unleashed. It was that flicker of satisfaction that frightened her the most. It gnawed at her conscience, a sinister whisper that maybe, just maybe, she had enjoyed it more than she wanted to admit.
"Have you ever..." Clementine paused said, her voice quieter now, tinged with a conflicted edge. "Have you ever felt a pull... wanting to do bad things... to bad people?" The last bit 'to bad people' almost sounded like an addition to protect herself from sounding sick or crazy.
She paused again, her gaze fixed on the flickering flames, struggling with the dark satisfaction she felt. It’s hard to ignore the fact that there was something... almost satisfying about seeing her own flames consume things. And that scared her. After her long pause, she looked up at Nathaniel again, the flame from the barrow, dancing in her pale blue eyes as she wanted to say something... but didn't.
Clementine’s expression hardened again, a mask of teenage defiance slipping back into place. “Anyway, thanks for asking,” she added, though her voice was now a bit more distant. With that, she turned her focus back to the fire, using its light to shield the turmoil she felt from view. The warmth was there, but it did little to comfort the storm inside her.
“Yeah, well,” she began, her voice tinged with an edge that betrayed her attempt to sound nonchalant.
“I’m fine.”
She lifted her chin just a fraction, a subtle sign of defiance that only someone who knew her well would catch. Despite her efforts to appear unaffected, there was an underlying tension in her stance, the way she clenched her fists and avoided meeting his gaze directly. Nathaniel’s perceptive eyes wouldn't miss the telltale signs. He had seen Clementine enough times to recognize when she was lying. He would quickly be able to tell there was more beneath her façade or that she held back. One of the perks of having to defend Clementine multiple times and wrestle the truth out of her stubborn personality.
“I'm fine," Clementine repeated, her voice firmer now, trying to reinforce her first 'I'm fine' as she focused on the fire. “Why wouldn't I be fine?!” she asked accusatorially, but it was more directed at herself, than Nathaniel really. There was a spark of force to her voice and the flames in the barrel reacted to her tone for a second.
She glanced briefly at Nathaniel, a flicker of something almost vulnerable in her eyes before she quickly masked it with a dismissive shrug. “So yeah, fine.” Her final 'fine' seemed to have solidified her mask to hide the truth.
She turned her attention back to the fire, feeling its warmth against her skin but struggling to find the same comfort within herself. The concern from Nathaniel was a fleeting balm, but it was a reminder that even amidst her struggles, there were moments of unexpected support and she never knew how to handle it. As she stared into the flames, Clementine's thoughts churned. Her mind kept replaying the moment she had burned the soldier's hands, the agonizing scream, and the smell of charred flesh. Part of her recoiled in horror, repulsed by the brutality and the pain she had inflicted. She knew it was wrong—she knew it deep down, beyond the adrenaline and the chaos of the moment.
Yet, buried beneath the horror was an unsettling, twisted sense of satisfaction. It was a dark, primal part of her that had found a disturbing thrill in the power she had unleashed. It was that flicker of satisfaction that frightened her the most. It gnawed at her conscience, a sinister whisper that maybe, just maybe, she had enjoyed it more than she wanted to admit.
"Have you ever..." Clementine paused said, her voice quieter now, tinged with a conflicted edge. "Have you ever felt a pull... wanting to do bad things... to bad people?" The last bit 'to bad people' almost sounded like an addition to protect herself from sounding sick or crazy.
She paused again, her gaze fixed on the flickering flames, struggling with the dark satisfaction she felt. It’s hard to ignore the fact that there was something... almost satisfying about seeing her own flames consume things. And that scared her. After her long pause, she looked up at Nathaniel again, the flame from the barrow, dancing in her pale blue eyes as she wanted to say something... but didn't.
Clementine’s expression hardened again, a mask of teenage defiance slipping back into place. “Anyway, thanks for asking,” she added, though her voice was now a bit more distant. With that, she turned her focus back to the fire, using its light to shield the turmoil she felt from view. The warmth was there, but it did little to comfort the storm inside her.