Member
@Lurking Shadow Okay, most of this looks great, there’s only a couple alterations I’d like to put forward:
Firstly, and the only real “problem” I have with your character concept, is that I can’t really buy that nobody would be aware of the existence of Serpentfolk. I get that they’re a very uncommon race and typically stick to their own society, but unless that society is deep in the heart of an uncharted jungle I cannot imagine a scenario in which nobody had ever encountered one and written a prolonged dissertation on their culture and physiology. (And if they do love in some uncharted jungle, how would they know about the rest of the world?) This world is fantasy, so there are magical forces and bizarre peoples all around the globe, but it’s also modern. This is a world in which the atomic bomb was invented, which means that computers exist, cars, aeroplanes, cameras, etc. The majority of the world has been explored, and those parts that haven’t are completely wild. If serpentfolk live in the same geographic region as the rest of our races, they will be discovered at some point. I have a few counter suggestions, though. One option is that serpentfolk are less like a separate nation that keeps to themselves, and instead infiltrate human society en masse. Basically the serpentfolk all equip themselves with necklaces like yours and live as a secret minority amongst regular humans. I could see a vast conspiracy of shapechangers keeping their existence unknown in the modern world much easier than I can imagine a group of giant snake-people just living in a regular town and nobody noticing.
Alternatively, they are a known group, but were typically not allowed into human society (because they eat people, y’know?) and so humans knew of their existence but had no or little interaction with them.
The only other thing I had to say about your character is that I’m having some trouble picturing his scale. Like, he’s 11 foot long from head to tail, but only 6 foot tall as a human, does he just have 5 feet of invisible tail following behind him?
Also, and this isn’t a complaint, we have quite a few illusionists, huh? Gonna be all sorts of mind tricks being played.
Firstly, and the only real “problem” I have with your character concept, is that I can’t really buy that nobody would be aware of the existence of Serpentfolk. I get that they’re a very uncommon race and typically stick to their own society, but unless that society is deep in the heart of an uncharted jungle I cannot imagine a scenario in which nobody had ever encountered one and written a prolonged dissertation on their culture and physiology. (And if they do love in some uncharted jungle, how would they know about the rest of the world?) This world is fantasy, so there are magical forces and bizarre peoples all around the globe, but it’s also modern. This is a world in which the atomic bomb was invented, which means that computers exist, cars, aeroplanes, cameras, etc. The majority of the world has been explored, and those parts that haven’t are completely wild. If serpentfolk live in the same geographic region as the rest of our races, they will be discovered at some point. I have a few counter suggestions, though. One option is that serpentfolk are less like a separate nation that keeps to themselves, and instead infiltrate human society en masse. Basically the serpentfolk all equip themselves with necklaces like yours and live as a secret minority amongst regular humans. I could see a vast conspiracy of shapechangers keeping their existence unknown in the modern world much easier than I can imagine a group of giant snake-people just living in a regular town and nobody noticing.
Alternatively, they are a known group, but were typically not allowed into human society (because they eat people, y’know?) and so humans knew of their existence but had no or little interaction with them.
The only other thing I had to say about your character is that I’m having some trouble picturing his scale. Like, he’s 11 foot long from head to tail, but only 6 foot tall as a human, does he just have 5 feet of invisible tail following behind him?
Also, and this isn’t a complaint, we have quite a few illusionists, huh? Gonna be all sorts of mind tricks being played.