SolemnStories — Roleplayer Guild

There was nothing to do. And nothing to do meant it was time for some alcohol. As if we hadn't all learned our lesson with that already. But obviously we were a hard headed bunch, and wouldn't be easily deterred from having a good time; because by the time I made it to the local bar, several of my crewmates were already there. The sound of the piano coming from the corner sent a harsh surge of deja vu through my mind, though it was completely impossible to remember or figure out why. It left me feeling disoriented for a moment, and then abruptly my consciousness seemed to drop into the reality now around me. It felt odd whenever it happened, some days more than others, but it always felt like I spend most of my life watching and navigating myself from afar.

I looked around to room in a new state. I knew that I stood in a room full of strange faces, and the longer I stood their in the midst of everything, the more out of place I would seem. I cleared my throat and stepped over to the bar, ordered a glass of vodka straight, and slumped down onto a barstool. I glanced around the room; which seemed to me to be cast in a haze of vague colors that danced through the air on rhythmic waves of sound pouring from the piano out into the space around. This feeling of floating between empty spaces and reality kept throwing my mind back and forth. Or, more so it seemed as though I kept slowly drifting away into the nothingness, only to be randomly snatched back into reality by the strangest little thing. Like when I turned from the colors just now to focus on the pen in the bar tenders pocket, and I was suddenly and forcefully reminded of reality around me. In reality, the bartender was giving me a funny look for staring at his shirt, and probably assuming I was high as a kite. In reality, I looked up at his confused expression and ordered another drink. In reality, this vodka tasted like shit. But in the glass, I began to wander off into the emptiness again. I guessed that this is the sort of moments when most people would be day dreaming or replaying old memories. But in my world, I couldn't really pinpoint where my mind went. I think it just goes to sit in a dark room sometimes. 

I finished my second glass. I was fixated on the woodgrain of the bar and I realized that some beautiful tree had died so that I could prop my elbows on it's corpse. I felt so much more for that tree in that one moment, than I had probably every really cared for a person. I decided I was probably a tree too. I ordered another glass. 
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