Avatar of Space Communist
  • Last Seen: 6 yrs ago
  • Joined: 10 yrs ago
  • Posts: 132 (0.04 / day)
  • VMs: 1
  • Username history
    1. Space Communist 10 yrs ago

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"- All sheets go in the character deposit."

...welp, that's my stupdity for ya. I must have missed that. Whatever revised editions I write will be posted there.

"- Admitting your character is a carbon copy from an existing work is definitely a red flag."

I see. Perhaps one that is heavily based off of the character will do?

"- Could you elaborate on his condition a bit? You say he's freakish, only live for a certain amount of time, and etc, etc, but that's it. Is he deformed, or...?"

Well, society has it's sick fellows. He's underweight, weak in strength, pale in the skin...I assumed that would be a big enough implication that he is not a very healthy man. He's just weaker than other people, and if someone else doesn't kill him, then likely some natural error will occur quickly enough. Other than that, there isn't much that ails him, other than being borderline ugly, which is really only a social issue.

"- Expand on his personality and appearance a bit more. It's rather barebones, and I personally think it's lack."

Fair enough. Any recommendations?

"- I am always iffy about emotion changing powers. Especially when they barely have limits. That said, the ability has no real weaknesses, limitations or drawbacks, and there's literally nothing stopping him from bending everyone to his will."

Then more limitations should be added, of course. Perhaps I could make him much more kind-hearted and/or apathetic, therefore giving him a personal reason not to control others. Again, any suggestions?

"Overall, I think the sheet could use some work, mostly more detail. I'm going have to say no for now."

Again, fair enough. If it's details you desire, it's details you'll get. Like I said, I'll post any revisions in the character deposit.
[Character sheet is no longer here, and a revised version will appear in the character deposit. Have some cookies instead!]
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