Spriggs27

One offs and random stuff I write

Rogues
Blood Gems

It was another Monday morning and sadly I couldn't set up any jobs for us, most stores of the stores on our planet were beefing up their security and I didn't feel like stealing Gene mods for Doctor Badger on Tarkus, I flopped down on the couch in the hideout groaning knowing that I couldn't set anything up for us, I sprawled myself out on it as if I have been Noi just coming down from Rush and suddenly Akira showed up and threw my mask on my back." Yo Gaz!" He caught my attention." Gaz did you hear about the jewelry store downtown?!" He sounded excited.

I grabbed my mask and noticed he was geared up." Yeah, I know dude, I've done the math and there wouldn't be an even way split between all of us. There's me, you, Yan, Ven, Noi, Ash, and Bates. Then Cyn take a fuck ton off the top as her "payment" for fencing everything so she can get a ship and join the rush." I told him.

" Dude, they were donated some new gems from the planets in the rush." Pulled up a hologram flyer as evidence." We could do a quick smash and grab, Me, Ash, and Bates can get on crowd control and baby sit the hostages, while you and Noi crack the safe and Yan plays wheel man and Noi tracks how close the police are."

I brushed off my mask before saying." Well, shit sounds like you got this one down pack, I remember when you were first asked me which you hold a shotgun, now look at you, criminal mastermind ready to take down any bank on our side of the galaxy."

He chuckled before rubbing the back of his spiky hair." I learned from you and my big bro man."

"I'll get the gang together, but this is your caper, I'll advise and give help, but I'm not in charge." I told him pulling up my info link to call the others. It didn't take long for everyone to get here, and once Akira told them all what the job was, everyone one was on board once they heard them about the high pricing gems and jewelry. We piled into Yan's suspicious black Van and as we drove downtown I told them all I wasn't in charge of this job, I could feel that the others were a little uneasy, but they didn't say much as we were almost half way there. Yan parked up around the corner of the store as we all masked up." Alright guys, little hand, says it's time to rock and roll." Akira stole the line I wanted to use.

"Damn, uh. Remember why they call it money, because everyone needs it. Ah fuck it, imagine I said something cooler than Akira." I told everyone not even getting a chuckle. We hopped out the Van and rushed the jewelry store with a couple people on the street seeing us and avoiding us noticing our guns, I kicked the glass doors into pieces with my left foot and pulled up my hammer pistols aiming at the clerks and customers, with the others doing the same behind me." Reach for the sky or taste hollow points." The Jewelry store looked like I thought it would, shined up white floors, glass cases housing many jewels and accessories the wealthy and upper class would bring to their graves and die for.

" Get on the ground!" Akira yelled out to the customers.

" Lick the floor!" Ash ordered the others making them all hit the floor as fast as dead bodies.

While Ash and Akira began zip tying people's hands, Bates smashed a display case with his cleaver and the store's alarms began sounding off, in response a security guard emerged from a small room behind the clerks and acting quickly Akira unloaded three shells into him and blowing him back into the room." Shit!" The weeb yelled.

He looked back to me as Bates started to gather gems and watches into a bag, I sighed before talking over the blaring alarm." Ask where the safe is." I told him as Noi looked outside behind us, suddenly the info link opened up with a call from Ven." Cops are coming guys, you need to learn how to handle those hostages."

Akira pointed the barrel of his shotgun at the clerk's head and did his best tough guy voice." Where's the uncut shit, the real gems, the nice shit, not these rocks out here." The clerk meekly told him across the sales floor, it was the door with the palm reader. Taking charge of the situation, I patted Noi and directed her to the palm reader, surprising me, she pulled it apart with her claws before hot-wiring the door, I rushed over to the door and grabbed its handle and right when I did, something in me felt like this was wrong, something here wasn't right, there was only one security guard and a palm reader guarding the high end gems, then it hit me this was was sting or a trap and it took me a split second to realize it.

The moment when I turned my head to Akira to abort this, the door slammed into my face and knocked me on the floor, the alarm was turned off and my gas mask was cracked and ruined. The sound of boots touching the floor was the first thing I noticed, then it was Noi's voice." No." It was the only thing I got from her as a giant hand with burly fingers wrapped it's self around my bullet proof vest, I was lifted off the ground then another hand wrapped it's self around my neck. Through the cracks of my mask, I could recognize the long silver hair in an old school ponytail, one of the hands pulled my mask off my face forcefully and threw it onto the floor before stomping it with a heavy boot.

" Huh? I thought I killed you Gaz." Mishka told me." But like a cockroach, your hard to kill."

I stared at the massive aging, female, bodybuilder, my eyes were locked onto her sun baked skin and silver-hair getting in her left eye, I noticed she was wearing her simple black and red jumpsuit with her patched up battle coat." Jiro! Marishka! Get your asses in here!" She ordered. Before I knew it another giant emerged from the back room and tackled Bates into the wall before he could act, it was Marishka. Like her mother, she was rippling with muscles, but covered herself in black latex suit with a single green belt and a small butt pack just above her perfectly toned ass.

Moving quickly, a man in a white suit kicked Noi in the face with his fancy shoes, he wasn't as built as Mishka or even as toned as Marishka, under his suit jacket he wore a silky red shirt. The guy was clearly Japanese and had the look of a harden gangster, it was written all over his face mostly in his eyes. He put his dress shoe on Noi's head and took a silenced pistol from his suit jacket and pointed it at Akira.

" Brilliant Plan mother, lure the theives out of hiding by appealing to their greed then slaying them when they come into the trap."

" Quit being a kiss ass Jiro." She looked over her shoulder to something glowing in the dark back room." Karat, baby girl, quit hiding back there and come up to help Momma." She spoke in an oddly motherly tone.

A gold myr emerged from the darkness with an apathetic look plastered on her face, the source of the glow behind Mishka, it was the four armed ant woman's large jugs, she stepped out of the room and faced down Ash with two eagle handguns, just for Ash to point her large machine gun at the gold ant woman.

The gold myr looked starkly different than Ash, first off she had a large ant like abdomen on her backside just above her ass and had four chitin coated arms unlike Ash's two arms, then there was her big breast that almost dwarfed Ash's. The gold was covered in an odd type of black power armor that showed her breast and arms, but also had an opening for her abdomen to wobble free.

But my oggling had to wait as Mishka slammed me into the floor and put a boot over my right arm." Mask off all of you." Miskha ordered them.

Going against my rules, Ash, Noi, and Akira took their mask off, Mishka looked at them all before slowly remembering them all." Noi, you still have those furry purple arms and legs? You know Kaithrit don't have furry limbs you stupid junkie punching bag." She insulted Noi.

" You." She pointed to Ash." I thought I starved you and that nosey ass soldier, I guess 4 months of nothing but hard tack chips must have saved your chubby ass."

She then turned her attention to Akira not recognizing him." You look kinda familiar, like someone I killed a couple years back."

" You killed my brother, you ugly bitch." He insulted her before Jiro fired a shot at him, the bullet took off some of Akria's lobe.

Mishka looked down to me shaking her head." I remember sawing off one of your arms and then moving onto your leg, but I can tell you have some cybernetics, I could tell when you kicked the door into pieces. I'm gonna guess you have borg limbs wrapped in synthetic flesh because most people like to flaunt their robot parts."

She put more weight on my arm." So you assembled a group with a wannabe two bit gangster with a dead brother, a junkie punching bag who can't focus on anything for more than two seconds, a serial killer, and a soldier suffering from shell shock. You're all just a group of dead failures."

One offs and random stuff I write

Rogues
The Spoils

I used the chameleon silk app on my codex to change the colors of my hoodie and jeans making them look like a track suit, I watched as small white hexagons over took my dark hoodie and jeans, replacing the old colors with a bright white and a deep crimson red, before I continued took off my mask in a nearby alleyway and pulled down my hood, taking in a breath of air after all the running. Once I emerged from the alley, I used my codex to call the others as started to head back to the hideout, when Ven picked up on her end, I stopped at a bus stop and laid on the vacant bench, she began telling me Yan took them straight to the fence instead of the hideout."Nice instead of potentially leading Nova securities to our hideout, let's lead them to our fence and black market contact, it's not like it's gonna bite us in the ass." I told her.

"Well, when we left from the road, nobody was following us, and the police hadn't yet arrived. What happened with that Deer guy?"

I groaned before telling her the whole story without sounding suspicious in public, I felt like I just chased someone all the way to the other side of the planet, then to the other side of the galaxy, my lungs felt like they were just cooling down from a ten K." I'm heading over there, I might be a while since I'm on foot." I said to her before hanging up the call.

I didn't bother laying around any longer on the bench and got up, I shoved my hands into my pockets and started walking know where I was it would take me a while before I get there. I walked several blocks, crossed a couple bridges, and dodged the cops just in case my disguise failed me, It was when I made it to the suburbs, where the easy life is, that I was stopped by someone in front of some random store. The person wore an almost similar looking outfit to me, an all white outfit with red patches on the knees and elbows, he was a human just like me." Hey buddy, nice outfit." He complimented me, right before I could thank him, he spoke again." Hey pal, you're already dressed like one of us, how about considering joining Perfection?" He asked me, holding up a pamphlet and a flyer.

I took the flyer and noticed that it was decorated with statuesque humans that looked almost like models standing in a uniformed line, all with the same outfit as the guy in front of me." The fuck is Perfection?" I asked not taking my eyes from the flyer. The guy smiled from ear to ear almost as if he wanted me to ask about it.

"Oh man, what are we pal?" He sighed." Buddy we are the people who'll make the galaxy the way it should be, human only." He told me while putting a hand on my shoulder." We'll make sure those Aliens out there know who's the superior race and we will put them in their place under us." He said in more whispered tone.

Taking his hand off my shoulder, I turned away from the guy."Yeah, no thanks pal, I'm fine." I balled up the flyer as I started walking away and tossed it into the street, not caring if he would get pissed about it or not, I didn't expect another cult to pop up this year, first it was the Followers of the Void, now these Pefection dudes. It wouldn't be long now till I got to the house, it was turning twilight about right now as I came up to the house and hopped the white picket fence to get into the backyard, I walked up to the back door knocking before someone yelled to come in.

Once I was let in, I walked through the kitchen and into the dining room to see Ash struggling to open a metal crate with a crowbar and next to her was Yan popping one open like they were beer cans, the contents inside his crate were several white packets of what I could guess to be Terran cocaine." Damn it more drugs." Yan ran a hand through his short hair. Noi brought herself to the crate to see what was inside before sighing." Aww, it's not rush." She sounded defeated before grabbing one of the white packages and cutting it open with a sharp nail, instead of doing what most others would do, Noi instead began eating some of it.

On the other side of the room, both Ven and Akria were working together to crack open an extra big metal crate with two metal poles before Yan came over to just pop the top with his crowbar, the two dug inside with Akria taking out a bulky laser pistol." Well damn these are all pistols, and suits?" He pulled out a bright white suit jacket. Ven on the other hand found an odd device that looked somewhat like a headset and placed it onto one of her head." Aww sweet with these, I can hook them up to info link and we won't have to use our codex to chat." She said aloud, almost as if she wanted the rest of us to hear her intelligence." Hey dumbass, we been could've used Infolink with our devices!" I shouted to Ven.

Everyone looked at me and I noticed Cyn sitting in the corner of the dining room at the table, her giant drider taur self taking up the whole corner, it's a shock that brown chitin coated legs didn't knock anything over or reveal herself to me earlier, she was wearing her glasses and had her computer down here with her, probably wondering the cost of everything here would be. Before I could do anything else though, Noi charged me with her mouth covered in powder, she hugged me and accidently knocked my clothes back to their old color." Gaz I missed you, I was thinking you left forever!"

Ven finally decided to yell back at me saying." W-well, I knew that, it's just now we can just. We can just activate it a little easier and don't have to go through all the other hoops and stuff, okay!" She crossed her arms before just calling me an asshole.

" We mostly found guns, drugs, suits, and this unknown stuff." Yan pulled out a canister of fluid from the back of his cargo pants and tossed it to me. I did my best to catch it with Noi still clinging to me, once I brought the thing up to my eyes, I knew what was in the canister." Yan, stop boxing Dzaans and Leithains you should know what's in this." I threw the canister back to him." Now that I think about it, I know who all this shit belongs to, and I'm more than happy we stole it."

Ash took a break from trying to crack her crate to sit on it and look back to me." Who?" She simply asked with the crowbar sticking up between her chitin covered legs.

" Mishka and her fucked up ass kids, that's probably who and what's on this hard drive I took off the deer." I put the hard drive onto the dining room table." Where's Granny?" I asked while I pried Noi off myself.

" She's in the bathroom trying her hardest to take a dump right now." She held out one of her lower arms." Lemme get that drive and I'll check it."

I slid the thing across the table and as she began working on putting it into her computer, I went over to my favorite red Myr to help her with the crate she was trying to open on her own. Even though Yan could've helped her pop this thing open, she oddly enough, let me help her, we wedged the crowbar into a gap and push down attempting to open the metal box, once I began sweating trying to open the box I stopped Ash and took a breath to catch myself.

Then I just thought, "fuck it." I slammed my left fist into the end of the crowbar and popped the lid of the crate, but also sent the crowbar flying across the dining room and hit Akira straight in the back and he dropped to the carpeted floor." My bad Kira, walk it off." I told him. He yelled out something in Japanese before I turned to see what Ash picked up, I was surprised to see that it was actually lined with thick bars of gold and silver, Ash placed her chitin coated hand over one of the silver bars picking it up and saying."This is Myr silver probably even gold as well."

This started to just seem weirder and weirder to me, first Hale federation shield glass on a Nova transport, now Myr silver and gold, before I could ponder on this any further Cyn cut off my thoughts." Well it would make sense." The drider woman spoke up.

I picked up one of the heavy gold bars before turning towards Cyn." Cyn mind elaborating?" I asked her.

" Well, reading through some of these docs here, I found somewhat of a list of the things they were transporting." She fixed her glasses with a thumb." The gold is a payment really, it says here 'Thank you for the "volunteers" the population need to be lowered, this time we're giving you a little extra.' I'm going to guess someone killed some Myrmedions, or if the darknet is actually correct, then this is payment for slaves."

I shook my head at the thought of owning this, but it wasn't exactly mines to do anything with, it belonged to Ash." Ash!" I got her attention and most of the others from the shout." Are you fencing the gold and silver? Or do you want to get rid of it?"

I watched as the heavy armored Red Myr look over a silver and gold bar in both her hands before giving her answer." Gaz, I fought enough golds at eighteen to hate them as much as I hate my people's government." She ran a hand over a silver bar and looked directly at her reflection." The Golds are worth their weight silver and well gold."

It was clear what her answer was, I turned to Cyn asking her how much she could give Ash for the gold and silver, she told me a measly twenty thousand for each gold bar and eight thousand for the silver, seeing the angle she was playing I closed in on the drider woman and delivered a slap to her oversized bosom. I knew she was trying to cheat Ash out of her new found wealth, I slapped each of her giant boobs making her moan and wail in either pleasure or pain." You fucking cheapskate, don't be a greedy web spinning bitch!" She didn't bother fighting me back as blush appeared across her face.

" Thirty!" She screamed.

I slapped even harder." Quit being so cheap, even it out mod junkie."

"Fine! Fine! An even fifty and a split down the middle for anything else I can get for the silver and everything else."

Once I stopped, she covered her chest with all four arms and stared me down mumbling." Fucking prick, how am I to buy a ship when I don't take a lot off the top."

One offs and random stuff I write

Rouges
Close and Far

I felt my blood just rushing all around my body as I chased the Deer morph into the forest, as we entered the depths of the forest I noticed he ditched the big tower part that he was carrying." Just drop the hard drive and I'll let you go pal, I'm not gonna hurt you!" I leapt over a small rock that would've tripped me up. We both jumped over a small river before coming up on a construction site with robots operating most of the equipment, the deer leaped onto a fence right when I caught up and threw myself into it and knocked him down on the other side of it, I groaned in anger before quickly climbing over it and doing my best to catch up.

Part of me was feeling the guy was scared on another level, he scaled up onto one of the cranes and began running up the machine's arm, at first I just watched before sighing and following the deer guy up onto the arm. Even though the guy had hooves for feet, he managed to balance next to perfectly as went all the way to the tip of the crane before leaping onto the close by partially constructed building. Part of me wanted to just say 'fuck this' then just leave, but I pushed myself and leaped right behind him keeping up with him." Damn, I'm starting to sweat man, just drop the shit dude, you don't have to do all this!" I followed him down a flight of stairs jumping down each one.

Then, with a stroke of luck, I tackled him and punched him in the furry muzzle, he began fighting back trying to stick his fingers in my eyes." I can't let you have this hard drive!" He tried to wrap his hands around my throat." The crazy woman who owns this thing would cut my balls off." He tried to plead with me." You and your lot, don't even know who you're stealing from or who you're dealing with fuck nuts."

I felt his hoof meet my groin, and an unimaginable amount of pain overwhelmed me, I doubled over in pain as he stood up and walked away from me. The second I looked up I saw him by one of the ledges with a rope going from the top of the building all the way to the bottom, probably, I saw him jump from our level, from fuck knows how high up. I quickly got up and went over to see him land in a bin filled with garbage and other waste, I spat into my left gloved hand and went off the ledge holding onto the rope mid way down I saw a fire ignite into the palm of my hand and I let go right when I landed ass first into the construction waste still alive.

While I pulled myself out of the waste container, several of the construction bots surrounded me all telling me to wear a hard hat or leave the area, I pushed myself past the stupid machines before spotting my target once again, then the chase was back on again. The deer morph began taking me back to civilization on foot, the two of us ran up to an old twentieth century bridge. He kicked the door open to one of the side decks before running up to one of the side beams holding up the bridge, not wanting to give up I leaped up there behind him, keeping my balance on the thick beam before he crossed over onto a small pole and went to the other side." Oh fuck you, now I'm gonna beat the shit out of you."

I crossed over to his side before, then we got to the other observation deck on the other side of the bridge and right when I could nearly touch him, he jumped through a window and I climbed through as quickly as I could before slamming myself face first into tiled, pavement and getting back up to my feet and keeping up with the chase. The deer ran down a flight of crowded stairs, and instead of doing that shit, I slid down the railing and knocked over an Zil boy on my way down to the bottom, I heard the bee boy yell at me from the ground as I kept going after the Deer.

The both of us ran through a restaurant, as we passed a table, I snatched an ash tray from one of the tables and kept myself moving right behind him outside into what looked like a small outside market with dozens of stands. Yelling out "Fuck you asshole!" I chucked the glass ash tray into the guy's head and made him barrel right into a table full of books and knock the whole thing over, the moment I caught up and he began getting up off his back I kicked him in the face and knocked him back down hard enough to make one of his antlers break off.

I picked him up by his shirt as people began surrounding us, I didn't bother dragging them this, I just let them assume what was going on, I shook the bloodied deer back and forth before saying." Alright Bambi, what's in the drive?!" I demanded an answer from him.

He spat his blood on my mask before I pulled out my gun and put it to his forehead, the mix bag of alien people surrounding us began to quickly disperse and pulled back on the hammer for my gun to seem more intimidating." Tell me what's on the damn thing, or I'm gonna give you a one way trip to your mother."

Behind me, one of the few only Ovir I've ever seen in the galaxy yelled out for someone to call for a Peacekeeper, the word itself made me panic more than I should've. I shot the deer in both his kneecaps before checking him for the drive, once I got the damn thing and looked it over for any damage. The big fucking Leithian Peacekeeper from the bank job appeared over my shoulder, my only reaction was to do the same as the deer did to me, run for it.

As I felt the leithian woman close in on me, I could feel myself just, slow down and feel tired from all the shit I've been through with the deer morph beforehand, I didn't get a chance to catch a second wind. I turned down an alleyway feeling my breathing getting heavier and my legs feeling like they were the weight of cinder blocks, as I began slowing down and the woman began, reaching to grab me, I took a deep breath and looked back to her." Cap, I don't think you understand, how fast I really am." I let out a breath and began running again, this time just pushing my body to move faster and to just get away, I looked over my shoulder to just see the captain just standing there surprised that I could move this fast.

Konosuba: This Wonderful World's Alternative Paradigm

It pretty much feels dead.

One offs and random stuff I write

Rouges
The Titan

I watched as Yan slammed his van into the last hover jeep and sent it off the road an into the dense tree line, He sped up to the back of the trailer and let Noi slip out and climb up on the trailer, tied to her back was a thermal saw. I pulled the petite cat girl up, then let her put the diamond tipped blade to the trailer's metal, once she started it up I felt the radiant heat come from the buzz saw as it both melted the metal and sliced through it like a hot knife through butter. The second the metal plate fell through, I leaped into what looked like a small warehouse with crates on top of crates, I let out a long whistle before signaling Noi to come down.

Before I could attempt to open the back doors to the trailer, Noi stopped me and pointed to a door and a wall made of what looked like glass, I let go of the handles before sauntering over to the door and the wall and knocking on it and then I realized something odd, the glass was shield glass, something only the Galactic Federation owned, it was similar to two way glass, on our side there was mirror like glass as hard as ship shields." Noi cut through this door we got more we're gonna take." I told her.

She put a gloved thumb in her mouth looking at the other crates before asking me."How we gonna get everything out?" She asked." The other stuff won't fit with everyone else in the van."

" We aren't taking everything, just the stuff that's gonna get us a ton of credits really." I told her before she started cutting through the door's lock, the second I slid the glass door open I spotted what looked like a furry face putting on the last of a heavy set suit of power armor, they pulled up a giant double barrel shotgun that looked just the right size for the armor but giant for someone like us.

They fired the shotgun right into my body armor, knocking me right on my ass, once I hit the ground I didn't move feeling as if I just died or was hit by a fucking car, my vest began to slowly feel hot. I could hear the giant's foot falls close in on me and hear them stop right before me." Do you even fucking know who you're stealing from asshole?" They cracked back the chambers on the shotgun and unloaded two bright green shells before slowly loading in another bright green shell." You dumbass, you're attempting to rob Mishka you stupid fuck."

The moment they flipped the chambers shut, Noi came to rescue cutting them at the back of their knee with the diamond saw before leaping on them and hanging onto them, as she distracted the giant I got a burst of energy and ripped my vest off with a single hand and with my other I fired at the powered armor giant knowing that I'd only burst their shields. When they threw Noi off their back and aimed for me again, I rolled backwards and onto my feet just as they fired off into the trailer, I ducked behind a crate before taking out my codex and calling Ven." Tell Ash to shoot the truck with a grenade."

"Gaz, you and Noi are still in ther-" I cut her off saying." No shit Sherlock! just tell her to do it."

Out of nowhere the entire trailer shook, a sharp ringing filled my ears, and everything, including the three of us began tumbling around the trailer dodging the crates full of shit that could be valuable or just random crap. Once the trailer stopped moving I found Noi under a crate, I kicked the metal box off her and shook her to see if she was still alive, once her bright gold eyes opened and locked in on me, I carried her out of the trailer on my back, we went back out through the hole she made and I began taking her to the Van, but when I got half way there, the back doors to the trailer blew open and the armored figure appeared again.

I spun around dropping Noi to the ground before I drew both my hand guns and just unloaded all of my ammo into the power armored figure, coming to my aid out of nowhere Ash and Akira began firing on the armored giant." Someone call the survey corps!" Akira yelled out." We got a Titan." He fired his shotgun in their direction, then Ash crouched down before firing in burst at the giant.

Right as I began reloading, the giant fell to their knees and dropped their massive shotgun. I sighed, then gave Akira a high five." Let's get as much as we can before their reinforcements arrives, we gotta work quickly their boss is Mishka." When I mentioned her name Akira put a hand on my shoulder and stared at me."I think we should.." He struggled with his words but I knew what he wanted.

" No, it would be stupid, don't act dumb." I told him." We're taking all we can here before a shit storm comes down on us, when we're ready we'll go after her."

He glared at me before simply nodding and helping Noi up and taking her to the van, before we got to the looting one of the drivers kicked open the truck's door before tossing out what looked like a server, they wobbly fell out, the driver looked like something of a deer-morph with antlers included. Once they laid eyes on us, they snatched up the server and made a break for it into the trees."Motherfucker!" I chased after the deer wanting the server he was holding, I know it could've held nothing, but like the crates it could've been something valuable, or hell it could help with taking down Mishka.

One offs and random stuff I write

Rouges
Rapid Transit

A month passed after our first heist and despite the amount we pulled in from the bank we had a decent amount of cash to play with, hell we even could afford shield generators, more ammunition, and even some body armor. Once I felt we were getting a little bored, I found a new job for us to do, it was gonna be loud and probably tougher than the bank was.

I had most of the team in Yan's hover van, even if my bike wasn't trashed I doubt that I'd want it with me on this one, I pulled the van up to a nearby gas station, I let Yan fill up the thing with gas as I went into the store and bought some simple snacks. As I returned I saw our target cruise by, it was a large armored semi truck, riding behind the giant truck was a convoy of military-esque jeeps, I almost felt a little turned off by the jeeps feeling as if they'd be too much for us, then I decided to make an executive choice and slapped Yan on the back." Hurry up big guy, our loot is on the move."

I didn't waste rushing to the driver's seat and waited for Yan to finish gassing her up, I stomped the petal and chased after the convoy." Alright guys, this one will be a hard one, we're going up against Nova securities, from here on in we're using our code names." I told them.

Ven poked her head from the back of the Van looking both surprised and scared." What!? Nova?" She barked." They have small armies of mercenaries, Black! If the police come or even the Peace Keepers then we'll be fucked!"

I tried to calm her down by patting her on the furry head." Calm down pup, they aren't taking a major road so we can drop them away from public view, the only thing we'd get is more of them."

Out of nowhere Noi appeared under Ven with the cat girl's head in between the dog girl's breast." Oh, Black what we stealing? Money? Safes? Virginity?" The brace faced cat girl asked me rapidly.

" To be one hundred percent with you, I have no real clue, but knowing a whole convoy has to escort it, and Nova are the ones holding it, it must be something either very important or it must be something incredibly expensive."

" You should've done more research before we just moved to hit this thing, we could just be hitting an empty truck." I heard Ash's voice from the back.

She was right, but I didn't respond as we came up on the convoy, they turned off into an exit and onto a road absent of any hover or even ground cars, once we were alone with them on the road I masked up along with everyone else." Alright! Little hand, says it's time to rock and roll!"

I sped the van up to the convoy before opening the window and checking my body armor under my hoodie, I was starting to second guess the armor before I told Yan to take the wheel. I climbed out of the Van onto the roof, the convoy's jeeps began to spread out and I drew both my hammer pistols and fired for two of the Jeep's gas tanks only for my bullets to ricochet off the jeeps, I then aimed for the windows and all I succeeded in doing was cracking them slightly.

Feeling like I would need to get closer to do more damage, I crouched down and leaped from the Van hoping to whatever space god above that I didn't miss where I was jumping and ate asphalt, luckily whoever they were they read my thought and gave me a chance. I head butted one of the tinted windows before getting a hold of one of the door handles with a couple fingers, while pulling myself up, one of the tinted passenger windows rolled down and an odd colored baseball bat began trying to knock me off, I suddenly began hearing the sound of laser rifles being shot off and noticed the jeeps opening fire on the Van.

I fired some rounds off into the open window, hoping to hit whoever was trying to push me off and the second I noticed the baseball bat fall, I entered the window and crawled onto the laps of two aliens, the first was chocolate skinned Dzaan with pointy ears holding a nasty wound, next to her was four armed golden Myr. I got close to the Dzaan nearly butting my head into hers."Hey, you mind telling me what I'm stealing?" I asked.

Her only reaction was to punch me in the head saying."Blow me!" The Gold Myr next to her began trying to stab me with a knife in one of her four hands, quickly dodging one of her stabs, the brightly chested ant woman stabbed the Dzaan in the other arm right as she was trying to punch me a second time." Shit! I'm sorry!" She apologized in a sweet voice. I began to push to the front seats quickly shooting the passenger and pressing my feet into the two women in the back in a bad attempt to restrain them."Driver! Please tell me what is in the big truck." I asked him.

Like the two women in the back punching my legs, he attempted to attack me with a baton, acting off instinct I fired half my pistol mag into him breaking his shields quickly before painting myself red with his blood, the split second I noticed I shot both the driver and passenger, I fired my second pistol into the sun roof and climbed out as soon as the jeep began slowing down. I leaped from the hover vehicle to another Jeep saying goodbye to the ladies in the process as they were left with their shitty situation, when I landed on the second vehicle, I noticed the others were having a shoot out with some of the other convoy jeeps.

I wasted no time knowing that I was closer to the big truck now, I didn't bother with Jeep I was on and jumped once more, grabbing a hold of an outside ladder mounted on the side of the trailer, as I climbed up the ladder, I nearly fell off and let go as I felt a couple rounds of a gun slam into the back of my body armor, I turned back to the fuckers who could've shot me and shot the fuzzy Alien in the head." Fuck you asshole!" I screamed at the dude before getting on top of the trailer.

One offs and random stuff I write

Rouges
Deathwish

As the sun began to set and I slowly approached the bar Yan called me to, I only could wonder how bad this "Situation" was for Gaz. I pushed open the door to the bar with the odor of several alien Alcohols hitting my nose and reminding me of more comforting times, as I made my way to the bar to find Yan I noticed nearly everyone here was either a bounty hunter or assassin all armed to the teeth. I ignored them for now as I went straight to the bar and noticed Yan's large form hunched over and slurping away at some odd drink probably something I would never be able to pronounce.

"About time you got here, I nearly got spotted a couple times taking our friends here." He told me.

"Well, you probably should've taken them to somewhere else if you were almost spotted." I crossed my arms.

He knocked back some of his liquor."As you can see, I didn't do well enough to get that far and someone told that he's here."

Suddenly the bartender appeared, he looked pretty much like an old school bartender with a bow tie and vest, in his hands was a glass he was cleaning with a white rag." Would you like to place an order sir?" He asked me.

"No thanks, I'm not a drinker anymore." I answered.

Right before he could tell me something else, a woman got between me and Yan, nearly pushing me. She was an abnormally pale woman with bright red eyes and long black hair, she was wearing black gloves and a dark coat. She slammed a gloved fist on the bar." You have him somewhere, I know you do, everyone else here knows it even, just hand him over."

The bartender stared at the woman as if she was speaking Japanese to him,"Ma'am, I don't know who you are speaking of, if you wish to make an order please make one, I'd rather the customers not be bothered."

"Speaking of orders, Max you think you could get me a bottle of this stuff?" Yan showed him his empty glass.

The bartender nodded." Another bottle of Vatorian stout, excuse me." He walked away from the three of us to fetch the liquor for the big guy. The woman looked over to my direction and in response to it, I tried to look away from her so she wouldn't get a look at my face, but right out of nowhere she grabbed my chin and tried to force me to look at her.

I batted the woman's hand away as she said."I know who you are, you're bigger game, but you're not who I'm looking for."

"You shouldn't mess with my friend there, he's not one to handle rudeness lightly." Yan warned her.

Knowing who she was here for, I chose not take the chance, screw this bar and fuck most of the people enjoying their drinks here. I slipped a tiny knife from one of my sleeves and swung the blade in her direction, surprisingly enough, she quickly dodged it and grabbed my wrist, for a woman as small as she was she oddly was strong enough to slow my hand down from stabbing her in the shoulder.

Right out of my peripherals I noticed a guy getting up and rushing to the woman's aid, right before he could give her a hand, Yan smashed his cup into the man's face and knocked him on the ground. I stabbed my knife down into the assassin's shoulder and threw her away from me and Yan, I sighed as everyone else in The Den began to rise out of their seats.

I pulled my cleaver from my jacket telling the crowd." Half of you in here probably know who I am, the other half don't, if you want to live, I'm giving you one stay of execution right now, leave!" I watched as a couple of the people slowly backed down and walked away, most of them being pirates really." Never thought pirates could make smart decisions."

I chucked my cleaver at the group hitting one of bounty hunters in the shoulder, then I followed after it, I used one of my smaller knives to stab the same guy in a soft spot of his armor, I quickly kicked another guy near me before Yan jumped in punched a man that would've blind sided me. I yanked my cleaver from my first victim as Yan stood behind me covering my back, I prepared for the worst as they surrounded us, one of the armored bounty hunters punched me across the face, but in the moment I caught that same arm and took it off with my cleaver.

"Try not to focus on only one of them it will get you killed fast." Yan tried to warn me as I blocked a bottle with my arm. I got lucky as the shards didn't cut me, I slammed my cleaver into the Alien's gut before kicking him away. While the fight was only growing bloodier for me and tiring for Yan, Gaz finally came out from his hiding spot with Ash, I noticed him through the gaps of the aliens, unlike me and Yan they actually had guns.

The second both of them fired off shots into the group, everyone scattered about the den flipping tables and taking cover all but one of them, it was the woman from before, the one with the black coat, she was holding a short samurai sword. I spun my cleaver around my hand, then blocked her sword," I'll collect his contract, then I'll collect yours Bates."

I ignored her before punching her with my free hand, I quickly spun around, hoping that I could catch the assassin woman with a quick cut across her gut, but she surprised me by stopping my cleaver with her blade and even parrying me in the process. The woman sliced me up pretty, she slashed me twice across my chest, then caught me with another slice across my stomach, while the pain felt indescribable in many ways, my anger kept me standing, everything and everyone around me deafened, my face twisted into a scowl right as she stabbed through my gut.

Letting my anger get to me, I dropped my cleaver and boxed the woman's ears hard enough to leave them visibly red, while she held her ears in pain, I pulled the sword out of my guts slamming the handle into her nose, I didn't waste time trying to return the favor, I tried to stab her but she was more agile than I thought. The thin assassin had her gloved hand covering her bloody nose, but she was still able to move as if didn't have a single injury, my swings with her sword seem to only get so close but to miss.

Getting a lucky swing, I cut her across the stomach and watched her fall to her knees and soon see Gaz and Ash appear next to me out of the blue. I just realized that most, if not all of the bounty hunters were dead in the bar, I tossed the sword on the floor in front of the woman." Hey B-man you okay?" Gaz asked me.

" I don't get hurt Gaz, I get angry." I told him calming down now.

Before we could finish off the last assassin, Gaz stopped Ash from shooting the woman." Naw, if she's really a member of the Amon assassins, then killing one of them will really piss them off, best to leave her alive."

Suddenly a new guy appeared, he dressed just like Gaz, dark hoodie and dark pants. The guy was a human with bright white skin and from what I could tell he was an albino, on his back he carried what looked like a metal guitar case." This place is a shit hole." He sounded like he was in a different place as he looked around the bar.

Ash quickly shoved a black revolver in his face."If you're here for the bounty you're gonna have to get through me first." The myr woman threatened him. He put his hands up before calmly saying."I'm no scrub assassin." He told her.

"If I wanted to kill Gaz, you wouldn't have known I did it." He moved the revolver before saying." You're lucky my agency looks into things like this, they claimed that your contract is false Gaz." The guy out a doodad and brought up a hologram of Gaz's contract with the word false going over the numbers." Might want to get out of here, the Politsiya might be here soon and I don't want to miss the bus." He told us.

Just like that, he left just as quickly as he arrived, acting quickly we rushed out the back into the night, but Ash went back to get Noi and luckily she caught up with us carrying Noi in her arms covered in a layer of sweat, it was a long trek back to the warehouse, but once we got back I took a much needed smoke. I lit up a cigarette and looked up to the moons in the sky, I sighed, feeling a bit tired, maybe the loss of blood combined with a run was making me light headed, I sighed before taking a long drag. This wasn't even my whole night and I had to help with something that I didn't even cause, once I knew everyone was okay, I flicked my cigarette away before walking back to the city, there was 'work' that still needed to be done.

One offs and random stuff I write

Rouges
The Coming Gauntlet

My vision was a daze from the fall and my lower back felt like I just lifted up the front end of a car, I started to make out the form that shocked Gaz and caused us to crash, it was a tall woman, one Gaz would probably call a Milf, once I laid eyes on those cat ears sticking up from her head I could tell she was the same race as Noi, a kaithrit, but instead of the two tails they usually had, she had an odd green reptile tail.

I could see Gaz laying next to his motorcycle, but after taking a laser blast to my back and falling off a motorcycle, I couldn't force myself up to help fend off the cat bounty hunter." Well, just my luck, I caught you right after you escaped from the others." She taunted the wounded Gaz. I only wished I had the energy to pull myself up to my feet and fight the woman, but all I could do was lay on the cold asphalt and hope that Gaz could pull something out of his sleeve.

"Isn't that just my luck?" A gruff voice spoke aloud.

I felt the worst was about to come as another bounty hunter was coming to claim Gaz's bounty, but when I craned my head over to the person, I was surprised by who it was. It was Yan, he was wearing his gym clothes, a sweat soaked simple T-shirt and some sweat pants. I sighed, feeling a bit of relief come over me as Yan dropped his gym bag." Sorry ma'am, but I won't allow you to do what it is you wish to do with my friend." He stared her down with his glowing blue irises.

"Miss I wouldn't want to hurt-" Before the bodybuilder could finish the kaithrit woman tried to fire her electric gun at Yan, but the electricity from the weapon crackled and fizzled around Yan instead of hitting him, he patted a small block on his hip saying."I always come prepared miss, I really wish this didn't come to this."

The burly took on a defensive stance, keeping his hands in front of him, the cat woman, giving Yan a chance put away her Arc caster before closing the distance with him. The two traded blows before both of their shields went down, the second Yan noticed her shield was down, he stunned the alien woman with a jab, in a swift motion he put his foot behind her leg and knocked her off balance, he then grabbed her by her by the collar of her duster and flipped her onto the ground back first.

Yan looked down to the Kaithrit woman saying."You're pretty good. But your experience doesn't beat my people's instinct, thanks." The giant threw me over his shoulder like one of his 'buddies' Then collected Gaz under his arm. He treated us like we were his toys before he began taking us to where ever it is he was taking us. I couldn't help but letting the tiredness of today take me, my eyelids began to feel heavy and slowly I felt the fatigue come over me.

The moment I awoke, I nearly jumped to my feet, wondering where Yan took us only to find me and Gaz in what looked like a cramped store room. On several shelves there were bottles of what looked like different kinds of alcohol, next to me there were a couple stacks of odd mead in short bottles, close by there was a door leading outside. After I took in my surroundings, I felt a warm feeling on my lap, I looked down to see Noi napping on my lap, I shook my chitin coated legs to wake her up." Get off me Noi!" I yelled at her.

The cat girl rose off my legs with drool trailing down the side of her face, she stared her big gold eyes at me before telling me."But mom! I wanna have five more minutes." She meowed before putting her face right into my breast and go right back to sleep. As I was about to shake the cat girl awake, I heard something or someone coming, they were walking towards the door at a casual pace, and once they opened the door, I was greeted by the sight of a well dressed albino man, but he had green eyes and a ponytail.

He walked in grabbing a couple bottles and casually told me." Please be quiet, there are customers that I'm hiding you from." He then left with an arm full of bottles and closed the door behind him. Soon Gaz began waking up, he tried to get up and noticed Noi just lying on top of me." I guess either Noi found us and got some people to help drag us here, or someone else came to save the day."

"It was Yan." I told him." He came from the gym to help us, he stopped that woman that made us crash."

Gaz leaned on the wall swearing after hearing we crashed, the human stepped over me and Noi and peeked out the door and closed it." Shit." He whispered." We're in The Den, and it's filled with fucking bounty hunters and assassins right now, fuck."

I could imagine The Den being filled with killers and pirates right now, they were here for Gaz or to get their favorite drink before heading off, Gaz sat down across from me and pulled Noi by her collar into his arms and held her, he then petted her head and told me."She's from Hardy, my pet cat here."

"Hardy?" I asked." Why are you telling me this?"

Gaz played with one of her ears as she snored in her sleep." Well, we might be here for a while and I felt like sharing, plus Noi would be too drugged up to focus on one thing unless you put a candy on her nose."

" If she's that bad, why keep her?"

" Easy, because Noi can crack any safe on this side of the galaxy given enough time, she doesn't even need a drill either, unlike that last job." He told me." Plus, I bought her contract for dirt cheap, she was first owned by some brothel then one of Mishka's badass kids used her as a living punching bag daily."

As Looked at the cat girl, I started to see Noi differently, I always just thought that she was just some cat girl with a bad rush addiction and incredibly stupid, but now I could see she was just someone with a bad history.

"Like I said she's from Hardy, a shitty poor town filled with Kaithrit people, it's on a backwater planet between H Federation space and Confederacy space. The kaithrit there are so fucking desperate to get food and drink that they drink the old starship fuel that was mined there years ago." He told me.

I stared at him wondering to say before just asking."Why, why are you telling me this?"

Gaz flicked one of Noi's earring studs before saying."If I don't survive today, at least someone will know Noi's past besides just me." He chuckled before saying." After all, I did for her, I can't think of her as nothing but an annoying little sister sometimes."

Suddenly a commotion was starting up on the other side of the door, Gaz pushed Noi back up onto me and told me,"Ash get Noi's gun." He got near the door." We're probably gonna need to shoot our way out." As I tried to check Noi's shirt for a weapon, Gaz sighed before saying." Grab her ass."

I groped the cat girl's butt, then felt the barrel of her gun, I grabbed the handle and took out a black revolver, I got up and was ready to take on whatever could be on the other side of the door, gunshots began going off before Gaz opened the door.

Konosuba: This Wonderful World's Alternative Paradigm

Yuji Roien

@Lucius Cypher@Lugubrious@Zelosse

Yuji watched as the demon took off to the sky with her crimson blade, she looked as if she was gonna have the time of her life going to save someone, she was truly an odd little demon, instead of flying over, she ended up just flying higher up into the clouds and disappeared, the centaur sighed and removed her blade as she charged off to the toad attempting to eat the owl man, Yuji unsheathed her blade as she closed in on the monster toad, time to go and save her money from the mouths of these toads.

The centaur sliced the toad's arm, then spun around and reared her back legs and bucked the large toad back a couple inches, while it wouldn't kill the toad on the spot, it should've been enough to make the toad cough up the owl man and throw him up. Yuji flipped her sword around in her hand and held it backwards, she brought the sword across the toad's large gut, she then went to cut its other arm. Yuji circled around after cutting the toad's gut, she held out her arms in order to catch the owl man as the toad would be too in pain to keep hold of the adventurer.

As she waited for the owl man to land in her arms, she noticed Devon's situation look a little more grim, then she noticed the tree that one of the toads latched it's tongue to a tree that couldn't be uprooted, she noticed the figure holding the tree and decided to give them a hand. The centaur held her sword as if it was a javelin and aimed for the toad's tongue, Yuji threw her sword at the toad's tongue, hoping that it would slice through its tongue or at least even hit the toad at all. While she waited there unarmed, Yuji began wondering where Xiang went and why she wasn't doing as she said she was going to do and give the camper a hand.

One offs and random stuff I write

Rouges
The Heat

As we drove past people scrambling for cover with their kids, family members, or lovers, I noticed Gaz' large smile on his face." Man! I always wanted to do this!" He yelled as we drove threw a store, with one of the cars behind us attempting to do the same but smashing into the walls of the store and crashing. The second hover car lowered it's passenger window and a long laser rifle leaned out the window and started firing at us, with one of the shots hitting the joints holding the sidecar.

The smell of burning metal hit my nose before I ended up turning off away from Gaz and tumbled off on my own, I slid across the ground before jumping from the death trap as it spun and flipped into a kiosk, I landed on my chest and as slowly pulled myself from the floor I held my breast holding back a swear as Gaz doubled back and stopped next to me." Quit playing with yourself, now's not the time!" He yelled before a bright red beam of light narrowly dodged his head.

I jumped on the back of the bike and held onto his waist as we sped off, as we past a giant fountain in the mall, I felt a burning feeling in my lower back and tightened my grip on Gaz, one of their shots hit me in the back. Right now I was really wishing I had my suit of burly armor, while I was bear hugging Gaz's guts out of him, he looked back to me groaning." Hey Ash, why don't you grab my gun from my jacket and shoot them back?"

Digging through his hoodie, I felt the handle of the pistol and quickly yanked it out of his holster, I turned my body back to the driver and the shooter, the sensitive trigger on the gun made me fire my first shot without aiming properly and cracking the front windshield, I fired a couple more rounds at the windshield, hitting the driver and making the car crash into a computer kiosk." Alright let's get the hell out of here before the cops come." I told him.

After Gaz drove us through a set of glass doors and got us back out onto the street, I felt something vibrate and music began playing out of nowhere, then I remembered Gaz' Codex, I took the odd looking device from my back pocket and the moment I tried to answer it, Gaz took it from me and answered it at a red light." Hello who is it?" He asked.

I leaned in close to Gaz to hear the conversation." This is Gaz right?" An apathetic voice asked.

" No, I'm John Mclane and I'm trapped in a high rise, Of course I'm Gaz." He answered." Who are you? How'd you get my Net-link code?"

" I'm Simo, we both have a mutual friend, your grandmother or Granny really, she gave me the code. Listen the contract placed on you is a fake, it's too high to actually be real, and if it was you'd probably be dead before waking up this morning."

As the light changed green and traffic began passing us, Gaz asked him another question." So you're telling me it's just a prank bro?"

" I guess if that's what you're gonna call it, listen survive the day and I'll look into this to help you out, I'd hate to lose a chance to get some good work Gaz."

When the conversation ended Gaz placed the Codex back into his jacket, he sighed before we took off from the scene as a trail of police cars began heading past us and to the mall." So are we heading back to the hideout?" I asked him.

" Nope, and we can't take the Intercepter to get off planet either, if we go back to the hideout then the place is compromised and we'll have to move everything probably during a long gun fight." He sighed." We can't take the Intercept because it will get ID'ed before we even get into space and have a trail of Peace Keepers on us. Fuck!"

As we drove into a neighborhood, I began noticing some streets blocked off with hard light beam barriers, and even the small one way streets were blocked off, with nobody in the street doing anything or anyone on the sidewalks, walking by, I slowly began to see that we were riding into a trap and the moment I tried to tell Gaz, he told me."I know, but is it for us or them?"

We were guided by the blocked off streets, right into a large hover truck parked blocking both sides of the street, we stopped in the middle of the street and the moment we turned around we were surrounded by a trio of Robots. They had oddly shaped round heads, their bodies were sleek but also somewhat bulky looking, the one in the center had a cobalt trim to his paint job, while the other two had a dim gray looking color." Hmm. Observation: The Meat bag has trapped himself with a cohort. A Myr female, height sixty seven inches, weight... Overweight."

I flipped off the robot before it began speaking a second time." Query: Meat bags, did you corner yourselves in a failed attempt to fight us face to face? It would be foolish." It raised a an energy rifle I've never seen before in my life.

I put my chin on Gaz's shoulder asking him who these robots were as the trio, suddenly began talking with one another." These are assassin robots, they only kill who their target they are programmed to kill, they are armed with some badass black light laser rifles, stuff that would cook us alive before killing us." Gaz revved the engine on the bike and the assassin robot aimed his rifle at him.

"Threaten: Do not move Meat bag!" It ordered, it's head moved from side to side before it blurted out." Threat detected, several armed organics in the area, scans say they are hos-"

The Assassin robot could barely finish as a beam of heated plasma slammed into its chest, and threw it onto the ground, out of nowhere another trio of fully armored warriors flew over the truck with Jet packs strapped onto the back of their armor, with one of them holding the smoking gun, their armor was similar to the Ranger's from the bank heist we did a while back, but theirs was gray color, and everyone one of them had a small cape sticking out the shoulder pad of their armor.

"Damn, I'm really split down the middle here, either fulfill the contract or see how well these robots handle an Outlaw throw down, what do you guys think?" He asked his teammates.

" I've been looking for a fight ever since we got off the ship, these bots will do." A female one answered.

" Never fought against a droid that went against the robotic laws, I wanna see how I do. We can always catch up to the mark."

I was puzzled to see how quickly, the new group of bounty hunters went from hunting Gaz to fighting against the droids in an odd way."Even when they aren't in the military, these guys still thrive for a tough battle, never thought that would save my ass." Gaz breathed out loud.

The bounty hunter standing in the center of the group looked back to us, the glass of his visor glowing a golden color." Well, I'd take our choice to be a good chance to run mark, wouldn't want to catch a stray bullet or some plasma right?" He cackled under his helmet.

Gaz took us right past them and the assassin robots, with one of them trying to grab at us, only to get its hand shot by one of the bounty hunters, the two of us ducked under a hard light barrier and rounded a corner. In the split second we rounded it, there was a silver haired Cat woman, she was wearing a jet blue duster with lightning bolts on it, aside from her coat, she looked like she could be someone's mother with curves like hers.

The Kaithrit woman drew an odd looking a bulky looking gun from her hip and blasted both of us before Gaz could turn away, the gun didn't fire a bullet or a laser at us, but it fired a long stream of electricity at the two of us, I felt the tingling of the electricity and ended up pulling Gaz off the motorcycle as we both tumbled into the street rolled nearly face first into a curb.