"I didn't throw them in. They volunteered."
“An admirable sentiment, were they not children,” Lysander sighed to himself.
The meeting had left him pensive for the better part of the day and had carried over to even now. He felt like his body moved on its own will, administering lessons without too much thought. Few people approached him, more excited for the arrival of Lady Arianthe, and for that he was grateful. It left him ample time to think, after all.
He poured over Michail’s notes for what had to be the dozenth time. They were a lot more detailed than he had expected, especially since he didn’t know Michail to take paperwork seriously. Aside from Lienna and Veronica, Michail managed to aptly describe each student’s strength and weakness with suggested lessons going forward to improve them. While Lysander initially felt the evaluations were somewhat blunt, it was obvious he knew what he was doing. Well, he was a Knight of Seiros, so it shouldn’t have been that surprising.
Stopping on the last Blue Lion, he frowned down at Michail’s suggestion. He had chastised Michail for leading them to battle too soon, but it seemed he had agreed. A few students had been marked with a similar sentence on seeing Lysander for counseling. But did Michail write this because he knew he would read it or because this was something he genuinely thought was best?
Clicking his tongue in annoyance, Lysander put everything away. He supposed that he should check in on one of the students Michail recommended. He waited for the bells to signal the end of the after-class meeting, and then decided to leave his office with one paper in hand. He walked through the dorms until he reached the room he was looking for, knocking twice sharply.
“Kellen Fraldarius? Are you there?” He asked.
It was muffled, but Lysander could hear a muffled “Oh Goddess…” from the other side of the door, followed by the sound of shuffling footsteps and the soft click of a lock turning. As the door swung open, Kellen Fraldarius peered out, keeping himself a safe distance from the doorway and whoever might be waiting. As he recognized Lysander, his shoulders sunk ever so slightly.
Kellen had rushed to his room the moment his professor’s assessment and Auberon’s anxiety-inducing request for a meeting had been heard. Kellen hadn’t had much cause to interact with Professor Roland, but he remembered a few key things about the man. The first was that he had been supposed to join on the ill-fated training expedition. Secondly, he remembered that Professor Roland had admitted to being responsible for the creation of the Rose Unit. Last of all, he was the Academy’s counselor. What exactly that meant at a place like Garreg Mach, Kellen was afraid he would soon find out.
“Umm… Hi there Professor." It was difficult to read the expression on Kellen’s face. There was the usual sense of dread that overtook his features whenever he was forced into a conversation, but it wasn’t nearly as blatant as it might have once been. Indeed, he appeared… preoccupied. “Did I miss something, were there more lessons?” A higher power willing, there would be a banal explanation to the professor’s purposeful appearance at his door.
Lysander brightened up considerably, giving Kellen a small wave and an apologetic smile. “Sorry to disturb you, but I was wondering if you had a moment to talk?” He asked. “It won’t take long."
The regular haunted expression displayed itself in full force over Kellen’s face. Whatever had been previously distracting him was relegated to the back of his mind as the professor’s small talk set off alarm bells. It was clear Lysander had a reason for coming here, and as Kellen tried to assess what it may be, his eyes took in the paper in the professor’s hand. That had to be it.
“Oh. Of course." The Fraldarius boy stood there for half a moment before he realized he was still blocking the door. He took a step backwards, lightly kicking a crumpled shirt under the bed. Beyond the odd piece of clothing, and his sword leaning against wall in the corner of the room, Kellen’s quarters were quite barren. He interjected before Lysander would have a chance to really take things in. “Is it something from home?”
The professor stepped into the room and gave him a slight bow of gratitude, though he was a little confused by the question. “No, nothing like that, I can assure you,” He replied, choosing a spot close to the door to stand in so as to not intrude too much. “Has something happened that you’re worried about? I could always send word if need be."
Kellen let out a breath as he realized Lysander wasn’t trying to inspect his room. It was a good thing too. Tucked away in a drawer where Kellen had left it, an envelope with his father’s seal sat unopened. The last time Kellen had received such a letter, it had carried the news he would be attending Garreg Mach. This one would contain worse news, Kellen imagined. “No, it’s -- I’m alright." Some part of him had assumed Lysander would be following up on whatever dread omen this message contained, but that didn’t appear to be the case. “No need, I’m sure they’re being kept apprised of things. I just thought..." He let his hand rise slightly as he trailed off, pointing at the paper in the professor’s hands.
Lysander followed Kellen's gaze, finally understanding. Maybe he should have taken a moment to memorize it and leave it. Still, Kellen's anxiety was practically radiating off of him, and Lysander figured the best approach was to take things as slow as possible.
"My apologies, this is Professor Michail's report on the battle in Luin," He explained, wanting to be as transparent as possible. "After reading through everything, I thought it prudent if I checked in on everyone to see how they were doing. It was entirely unplanned and was a hastily made decision--" He cut himself off, not wanting to get back into blaming Michail again.
"I just wanted to see how you're holding up," He finished.
“Oh. Oh.” Kellen’s face seemed to sink a bit. Michail’s assessment of the Kellen’s performance had been fair, but Kellen was fixated on the mild critique that had been proffered. Proper grip of a sword, managing the reach of an opponent’s weapon, those were things he could work on. Fear? He was capable of identifying the many sources of it, but solutions were few and far between. That thought stuck with him as the professor followed up. Kellen looked down towards the ground, feigning interest in a nondescript stone. “I’m okay." He looked up, offering a small smile that stopped somewhere past his nose but before his eyes.
Lysander tried not to frown but failed as Kellen met his eyes. He let out a hesitant sigh as he leaned back against the wall, finding himself holding back a lot of his initial thoughts. What was important was Kellen’s wellbeing, as Michail had already been reprimanded. He’d be lying if he wasn’t tempted to sneak in at least one ‘I told you so’, however.
“Are you sure?”He asked softly, wanting to focus more on the student than the professor.“It was...sudden. I’d understand if you felt some need to express yourself without having anyone to talk to. That is my job here, after all--a counselor consoles. Well, counsels, but we can pretend they’re the same thing." He threw in a light hearted joke.
Any remnant of a smile faded from Kellen’s face as Lysander pressed him. This was what he had feared. Kellen couldn’t hold it against the professor, it was a fair question. But he wasn’t prepared to talk about the trip to Luin. The joke would have normally earned a smile, but Kellen was afraid it would be taken as an invitation to press further. He let it hang for half a moment as he considered how to navigate the situation he found himself in. Without much thought, his eyes were drawn back to the report. What had his professor written about him that had caused the Academy’s counselor to come knocking on his door? In a rare moment of forthrightness, the question found its way from his brain to his mouth. “What does it say? About me?” His face was set as he looked at Lysander directly.
An expected response, even if it wasn’t what Lysander had hoped for. He looked back down at the page, clearing his throat. “Professor Michail commended you for your skill, there isn’t any room for doubt there. A few pointers on your form that he’ll likely go over in the next combat class,” He skimmed Michail’s writing before looking back up at Kellen. “He also mentioned that you were shaken by the bloodshed."
There it was.
He could still taste the bile in his mouth from the retching and remember the stinging feeling of tears after the scene of the battle had finally been secured. On the way back, beyond a perfunctory thanks to the other students, he had made himself scarce and spent most of his time in his room, pacing about and trying not to jump at every unexpected sound -- an activity that had finally been interrupted by the teacher’s briefing and Lysander’s appearance. He might have considered these distractions helpful if he weren’t so concerned about the possible appearance of bandits or axes just outside of his sightline.
Kellen’s lips pursed, his face betraying no other reaction to Lysander’s words. He had no concrete reason to personally doubt Lysander’s sincerity. But what the professor would do with the information, he couldn’t say. “I think I... “ He swallowed audibly. “I think we all were." He shouldn’t have been, though. Out of all of these students, he was one of the few who had actually seen a battlefield. “I’m fine now, I just - I just wasn’t prepared."
“I’d be more surprised if it had been any other way. You aren’t being singled out, either; after this I’ll be speaking with a few others as well,” Lysander admitted. “But still, I don’t want you to think that you have to put on a brave face for anyone."
The fact others were being approached put Kellen a bit more at ease. He had been nervous that he had been singled out in some way, though any amount of attention was still… unwelcome. “Clearly this report shows I’m not much good at it, if I were trying." A small smirk came unbidden to his face. “I think Professor Kalonic might have been, ah, overly concerned. You should do the rounds for the others."
Lysander stared at Kellen for a moment, albeit he relented. “I see,” Was all he had to say to that, but even if he tried to push it, he supposed he wouldn’t get very far even if he tried. Still, leaving things like this felt wrong, so he thought he would at the very least make sure that Kellen knew he was around.
“If anything changes, do let me know. As I said, it’s part of my job to make sure every student is alright regardless of their situation,” Lysander told him cheerfully.“I’ll leave you be, then. Thank you for your time."
Kellen remained standing there until the professor closed the door. He walked over to lock it again, before sliding back on his sheath and sword. He put his hand back on the hilt, but it didn’t give him much comfort as he began his small circuit across the room once more.
“An admirable sentiment, were they not children,” Lysander sighed to himself.
The meeting had left him pensive for the better part of the day and had carried over to even now. He felt like his body moved on its own will, administering lessons without too much thought. Few people approached him, more excited for the arrival of Lady Arianthe, and for that he was grateful. It left him ample time to think, after all.
He poured over Michail’s notes for what had to be the dozenth time. They were a lot more detailed than he had expected, especially since he didn’t know Michail to take paperwork seriously. Aside from Lienna and Veronica, Michail managed to aptly describe each student’s strength and weakness with suggested lessons going forward to improve them. While Lysander initially felt the evaluations were somewhat blunt, it was obvious he knew what he was doing. Well, he was a Knight of Seiros, so it shouldn’t have been that surprising.
Stopping on the last Blue Lion, he frowned down at Michail’s suggestion. He had chastised Michail for leading them to battle too soon, but it seemed he had agreed. A few students had been marked with a similar sentence on seeing Lysander for counseling. But did Michail write this because he knew he would read it or because this was something he genuinely thought was best?
Clicking his tongue in annoyance, Lysander put everything away. He supposed that he should check in on one of the students Michail recommended. He waited for the bells to signal the end of the after-class meeting, and then decided to leave his office with one paper in hand. He walked through the dorms until he reached the room he was looking for, knocking twice sharply.
“Kellen Fraldarius? Are you there?” He asked.
It was muffled, but Lysander could hear a muffled “Oh Goddess…” from the other side of the door, followed by the sound of shuffling footsteps and the soft click of a lock turning. As the door swung open, Kellen Fraldarius peered out, keeping himself a safe distance from the doorway and whoever might be waiting. As he recognized Lysander, his shoulders sunk ever so slightly.
Kellen had rushed to his room the moment his professor’s assessment and Auberon’s anxiety-inducing request for a meeting had been heard. Kellen hadn’t had much cause to interact with Professor Roland, but he remembered a few key things about the man. The first was that he had been supposed to join on the ill-fated training expedition. Secondly, he remembered that Professor Roland had admitted to being responsible for the creation of the Rose Unit. Last of all, he was the Academy’s counselor. What exactly that meant at a place like Garreg Mach, Kellen was afraid he would soon find out.
“Umm… Hi there Professor." It was difficult to read the expression on Kellen’s face. There was the usual sense of dread that overtook his features whenever he was forced into a conversation, but it wasn’t nearly as blatant as it might have once been. Indeed, he appeared… preoccupied. “Did I miss something, were there more lessons?” A higher power willing, there would be a banal explanation to the professor’s purposeful appearance at his door.
Lysander brightened up considerably, giving Kellen a small wave and an apologetic smile. “Sorry to disturb you, but I was wondering if you had a moment to talk?” He asked. “It won’t take long."
The regular haunted expression displayed itself in full force over Kellen’s face. Whatever had been previously distracting him was relegated to the back of his mind as the professor’s small talk set off alarm bells. It was clear Lysander had a reason for coming here, and as Kellen tried to assess what it may be, his eyes took in the paper in the professor’s hand. That had to be it.
“Oh. Of course." The Fraldarius boy stood there for half a moment before he realized he was still blocking the door. He took a step backwards, lightly kicking a crumpled shirt under the bed. Beyond the odd piece of clothing, and his sword leaning against wall in the corner of the room, Kellen’s quarters were quite barren. He interjected before Lysander would have a chance to really take things in. “Is it something from home?”
The professor stepped into the room and gave him a slight bow of gratitude, though he was a little confused by the question. “No, nothing like that, I can assure you,” He replied, choosing a spot close to the door to stand in so as to not intrude too much. “Has something happened that you’re worried about? I could always send word if need be."
Kellen let out a breath as he realized Lysander wasn’t trying to inspect his room. It was a good thing too. Tucked away in a drawer where Kellen had left it, an envelope with his father’s seal sat unopened. The last time Kellen had received such a letter, it had carried the news he would be attending Garreg Mach. This one would contain worse news, Kellen imagined. “No, it’s -- I’m alright." Some part of him had assumed Lysander would be following up on whatever dread omen this message contained, but that didn’t appear to be the case. “No need, I’m sure they’re being kept apprised of things. I just thought..." He let his hand rise slightly as he trailed off, pointing at the paper in the professor’s hands.
Lysander followed Kellen's gaze, finally understanding. Maybe he should have taken a moment to memorize it and leave it. Still, Kellen's anxiety was practically radiating off of him, and Lysander figured the best approach was to take things as slow as possible.
"My apologies, this is Professor Michail's report on the battle in Luin," He explained, wanting to be as transparent as possible. "After reading through everything, I thought it prudent if I checked in on everyone to see how they were doing. It was entirely unplanned and was a hastily made decision--" He cut himself off, not wanting to get back into blaming Michail again.
"I just wanted to see how you're holding up," He finished.
“Oh. Oh.” Kellen’s face seemed to sink a bit. Michail’s assessment of the Kellen’s performance had been fair, but Kellen was fixated on the mild critique that had been proffered. Proper grip of a sword, managing the reach of an opponent’s weapon, those were things he could work on. Fear? He was capable of identifying the many sources of it, but solutions were few and far between. That thought stuck with him as the professor followed up. Kellen looked down towards the ground, feigning interest in a nondescript stone. “I’m okay." He looked up, offering a small smile that stopped somewhere past his nose but before his eyes.
Lysander tried not to frown but failed as Kellen met his eyes. He let out a hesitant sigh as he leaned back against the wall, finding himself holding back a lot of his initial thoughts. What was important was Kellen’s wellbeing, as Michail had already been reprimanded. He’d be lying if he wasn’t tempted to sneak in at least one ‘I told you so’, however.
“Are you sure?”He asked softly, wanting to focus more on the student than the professor.“It was...sudden. I’d understand if you felt some need to express yourself without having anyone to talk to. That is my job here, after all--a counselor consoles. Well, counsels, but we can pretend they’re the same thing." He threw in a light hearted joke.
Any remnant of a smile faded from Kellen’s face as Lysander pressed him. This was what he had feared. Kellen couldn’t hold it against the professor, it was a fair question. But he wasn’t prepared to talk about the trip to Luin. The joke would have normally earned a smile, but Kellen was afraid it would be taken as an invitation to press further. He let it hang for half a moment as he considered how to navigate the situation he found himself in. Without much thought, his eyes were drawn back to the report. What had his professor written about him that had caused the Academy’s counselor to come knocking on his door? In a rare moment of forthrightness, the question found its way from his brain to his mouth. “What does it say? About me?” His face was set as he looked at Lysander directly.
An expected response, even if it wasn’t what Lysander had hoped for. He looked back down at the page, clearing his throat. “Professor Michail commended you for your skill, there isn’t any room for doubt there. A few pointers on your form that he’ll likely go over in the next combat class,” He skimmed Michail’s writing before looking back up at Kellen. “He also mentioned that you were shaken by the bloodshed."
There it was.
He could still taste the bile in his mouth from the retching and remember the stinging feeling of tears after the scene of the battle had finally been secured. On the way back, beyond a perfunctory thanks to the other students, he had made himself scarce and spent most of his time in his room, pacing about and trying not to jump at every unexpected sound -- an activity that had finally been interrupted by the teacher’s briefing and Lysander’s appearance. He might have considered these distractions helpful if he weren’t so concerned about the possible appearance of bandits or axes just outside of his sightline.
Kellen’s lips pursed, his face betraying no other reaction to Lysander’s words. He had no concrete reason to personally doubt Lysander’s sincerity. But what the professor would do with the information, he couldn’t say. “I think I... “ He swallowed audibly. “I think we all were." He shouldn’t have been, though. Out of all of these students, he was one of the few who had actually seen a battlefield. “I’m fine now, I just - I just wasn’t prepared."
“I’d be more surprised if it had been any other way. You aren’t being singled out, either; after this I’ll be speaking with a few others as well,” Lysander admitted. “But still, I don’t want you to think that you have to put on a brave face for anyone."
The fact others were being approached put Kellen a bit more at ease. He had been nervous that he had been singled out in some way, though any amount of attention was still… unwelcome. “Clearly this report shows I’m not much good at it, if I were trying." A small smirk came unbidden to his face. “I think Professor Kalonic might have been, ah, overly concerned. You should do the rounds for the others."
Lysander stared at Kellen for a moment, albeit he relented. “I see,” Was all he had to say to that, but even if he tried to push it, he supposed he wouldn’t get very far even if he tried. Still, leaving things like this felt wrong, so he thought he would at the very least make sure that Kellen knew he was around.
“If anything changes, do let me know. As I said, it’s part of my job to make sure every student is alright regardless of their situation,” Lysander told him cheerfully.“I’ll leave you be, then. Thank you for your time."
Kellen remained standing there until the professor closed the door. He walked over to lock it again, before sliding back on his sheath and sword. He put his hand back on the hilt, but it didn’t give him much comfort as he began his small circuit across the room once more.