Noah Logan was dead, but to those who did not know him it was just another day in Eaton.
Nathaniel felt so much older in his fathers' dark suit and he stared numbly as more and more people began to arrive. They were all dressed in black for Noah's funeral and he watched as they made their way towards the little chapel. Noah's coffin was propped up on a bier, ready for viewing, but Nathan lingered outside. He didn't want to see Noah, not like this. He had always expected their reunion to be a lively affair, something more cheerful than this. He and Matt would tease each other, Noah and Audrey would chat about the silliest of things, and Arty, she'd give them one of her biggest grins and suggest they have a game of soccer or badminton, there was no sport that girl wasn't good at.
However, none of that was happening, and this was far from the reunion of their dreams. Here he was, home for the first time in two years, and not to visit his friends, but to attend one of their funerals. And to make matters worse, Noah had taken his own life.
Nathan didn't believe it at first, not until he got a call from his parents. After that, everything just started to fall apart. None of it made sense, Noah had been one of the most cheerful and kindest people had ever known, so what went wrong? The answer seemed so out of reach. Nathan found himself staring at the wet grass, shoulders hunched and fists clenched so hard that his knuckles had turned white. He could hear cars parking by the curb and people talking as they made their way towards the tiny chapel.
He didn't want to move, but he figured that eventually someone would end up ushering him inside. Nathaniel sucked in a breath of air, his expression stony and eyes void. The young man had already cried himself to sleep back in his dorm room. The flight home and the trip back to Eaton had been spent in cold silence, whatever emotions Nathan had been feeling, he had attempted to drown.
"Nate? I can't believe it's you," it was one of Noah's friends from art class. "It's pretty hard to believe."
What was there to say? Of course, it was damned hard to believe. This was Noah Logan, Mr. nice guy and friend to all animals and children. This was the guy who grinned from ear to ear and laughed when he failed a test, the guy who took Matt in when he had nowhere to go, and the guy who helped old people cross the street. The boy was head-over-heels in love with life, yet he had killed himself by overdosing on Tylenol. None of this made sense and life wasn't fair, not by a long shot.
Nate ended up snapping when he hadn't meant to, "you're damn right it is," Nate didn't even look back, he simply turned around and began stomping off in the chapel's direction, leaving the other boy stunned and speechless.
Noah's mother and father were sitting in the front row, surrounded by concerned relatives and visitors. Ross was seated not too far from them entertaining a couple of visitors as well. Nate didn't want to intrude, so he sat at the very back and focused his eyes on the floor. He didn't want to look at the casket, and he didn't want to acknowledge the fact that one of his best friends was dead.
He sat in silence until a familiar voice snapped him out of his thoughts, "you didn't tell me you were coming back to Eaton," Nate stared numbly at the girl who had sat down beside him, it was Audrey. He'd drifted away from all of them. Sure, they would send each other texts from time to time, but his so called best friends felt like nothing more than strangers now.
Nate balled his hands into fists, grasping for words. "Audrey, it's been awhile."
"Really, Natey?" The girl laughed a little when Nathan flinched at the sound of his old nickname. "You disappear for two years and that's all you have to say?" She looked tired as well, but she mustered up a grin. "I didn't think I'd see you," her voice dropped to a whisper and lost its cheerful tone. Audrey wondered if the others would show up too, she hoped that they would. Noah was the one who brought them together and it would only be right for them to say goodbye to him as a group, he would have wanted it that way.
Nathan looked away and Audrey gave him a weary grin. Seeing her smile at Noah's funeral irritated him and his eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. "Wipe that grin off your face," it came out a lot harsher than he had intended. "It looks stupid." Here he was, an adult acting like an absolute child. A pang of guilt washed over him, but the boy ignored it and went back to staring at his feet.
"Sorry," Audrey shrunk back into her chair like a puppy that had been scolded for nothing. How much had changed in the past two years?