TheAmishPirate

Return to Thellamie

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa???!!????!!??

How?! How do they know the most devastating things to say? That is! Not fair! Not fair at all! He can’t look either of them in the face, because if he does, he will surely perish, and so he’s got to stare a hole straight through the ground in front of him. He probably meant to fold his hands in his lap, but instead his arms have gone folded around his middle, and the twin pressures of foxgirl whispers and Nagi lore(?) are squishing him into a tight little ball. They mercilessly assault him from both sides, no warning to when one or the other or both will strike. And every time he tries to take a deep breath to compose himself-

It is. Distracting. The perfume counter at the mall always smelled so, so sharp and weird and pungent, he usually just held his breath and power-walked past, never making eye contact with the salespeople lest he invite further stink. This is completely different. This smells warm and soft, which shouldn’t be smells? Those aren’t real smells. But that’s what it smells like, two scents fighting (yet complimenting each other?) to envelop him, and deep breaths - his oldest and trustiest friend - only leave him feeling fuzzy-headed. Which, I suppose he is usually fuzzy-headed, but-

Buried alive?! Seli!!! What does that even meannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

No choice now. No other option. He buries his blushing face in his hands, to the giggles of foxgirls. It’s the only thing to do in a situation like-

PrINceSS? Keli?! What does that meannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Well. Haven’t heard that one before. Goodness.

Okay, so. They’re up to something. One hundred percent. There’s no such thing as the Market Wars, or Yuki would’ve told him about it. This is a foxgirl scheme, and Yuki did tell him about those. That’s why they’re messing with him like this. To what end? No idea. Probably trouble. Definitely trouble. Oh dear.

But they were being pretty nice about it, all things considered. The arms holding his were careful. And soft. They weren’t being mean, not really. And. Well. They hadn’t pushed too hard either. As much as Yuki had said to be careful, they were her friends, right? Of a sort. Kind of. It was a complicated relationship. (And they did play a big part in beating Azaza. (Real people. From Yuki’s stories. Wow.))

Maybe seeing some of the festival with them wouldn’t be such a bad idea. They probably weren’t going to haul him away down the first alley they passed. Probably. And maybe he could figure out what they were planning, or get a message to Yuki, or, something. There wasn’t really a polite way to escape a kidnapping, was there? That would take some figuring out.

But first.

“I-I think there might be a lot of people in line before me for Princess…hood.” He nods several more times than is strictly necessary. Tries to resist as they drag him off, but just can’t get his silly feet under him. Darn. “A-and! It’d, be very rude to cut in line?”

He sees them share a Look. He feels a fond squeeze on each arm. He hears the swish-swish-swish of delighted, fluffy tails. And his heart swells with joy.

Well done, Hazel. Well done.

Breathless Dead

It wouldn’t.

Not “she” wouldn’t. It wouldn’t. His and Vasilia’s story wouldn’t end there. Water is wet. The void is dangerous. The gods are immanent. He only takes notice of the thought because a goddess has contradicted it, and only then to wonder how he knows it to be true. Never to think it could be false.

He might say that is what separates it from setting a broken bone. The crucial difference.

He might.

“Thank you. I shall give your advice all due consideration.” he bows his head in shame. “Though much of your wisdom may be too lofty for me. Your servant has been striving to fill the gaps in my education, and I do so appreciate our talks, he’s really quite wonderful at it. But I am just a chef. As far as we’ve come, we still have quite a ways to go.”

See the humble wrinkles in his forehead. See the sincere effort in the scrunch of his nose. Could any such student be accused of lacking honest effort?

His wife’s not a horse. Hrm. That could also be crucial.

Return to Thellamie

No! He didn’t! That wasn’t! No no no no no, and also, no!

Okay, so, yes, he did look down. But! He didn’t look down her top! If you’ll rewind the tape, just a little further, just a little further, aaaaaaaand stop! See? See? If you zoom in, you can clearly see a veil between her eyes and. Um. The accused zone. You don’t see too many veils back home. You don’t see many veils in a lot of places, when you think about it. And it’s, the design is, there’s a lot to see from that close up. But, the point is, he didn’t look.

Not directly. There’s peripheral vision, and so, he’s. A w a r e. Of both of them. And he’s really, really sorry about that. But he didn’t look. Not once. Every time his attention ping-ponged back and forth, his eyes were on their faces. Got it? Got it. Okay. Just wanted to set the record straight.

Right. So.

Cute? Him? What? Cute? What? Treat? Him? Little? What? What? What?!

Keli and Seli. “What about the bounty she paid you” themselves. Of course. It all made sense. Some of it made sense. A bit here and there made sense. The important bits made sense, and the important bit was that they were up to something. Which is why they were so interested in his personal space, why they were saying all those things, why they were looking at him so, so…foxily. Oh yes. He was in trouble. What sort of trouble? Troublesome trouble, that’s what. Quietly, he shifted his purse until it was resting safely against his tummy, which required a bit of wiggling on account of two foxgirls intent on squishing him between them.

“Oh. Um. Th-thanks.” Come on voice. We can’t be cracking under pressure. We need you! He gave a tiny nod to Keli for her daring ice cream rescue and inexplicable noises. “Yeah, yeah, it is a bit cold. That is. Um, y-yes, I just got here today, actually. Here, in Crevas, that is, I’ve been here for…longer, than a day.” So have most people here! Excellent observation!!! “I-I haven’t seen much yet, that is, I came here with my friend, and, she was busy so I was just, you know, bumbling around, seeing the sights, and such, yeah.” He glanced to sea green spice. “Appreciate the concern, but I don’t, um, I don’t think I’m gonna get kidnapped off the streets? There’s a lot of people, and, I don’t, um.” Why was she looking at him like that. Why did he know she was smiling if he couldn’t see her mouth. Why was his face burning so much. “I don’t think Nagi typically just. Scoop people up. Randomly. In the crowd. And carry them. Away?”

Seli looked at him. Unblinking.

He gulped, mouth dry, and turned to Keli.

Keli looked at him. Identically.

“Ummmmmmmmmm.”

He turned back. And forth. And back. And forth again.

“That is, to say, I only really just…started seeing stuff, and…”

Were they always this close to him? When he looked at them, all he could see were rich eyeshadow and long, long lashes framing big, glittering eyes, and silky veils woven in dizzying patterns fluttering against the contours of their faces, and his throat tightened and, words, difficult, so, he turned around and oh no why are there two of them? Why are there two of them pointed at him?!?!

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhh…!”

In one swift motion, he pulled his gaze down, chomped the last bit of his ice cream cone, and stared dutifully at his hands balled up in his lap. He chewed. Slowly. Really appreciating the flavors. Nodding, and making several affirmative mmm-hmmms at the assembled company, which was a totally suitable contribution to the conversation. All while his brain overheated with the effort of untangling a myriad of foxgirl problems.

Breathless Dead

The Craftsman tends to the harvest, and Sanalessa. Dolce stands to the side, and this takes all of his attention. He moves with a careful economy of motion. One step, even if two would be more comfortable. Three steps, if one would risk his balance. Each piece of him moves in turn, bending at the waist while his raised leg hangs motionless, that not even a scrap of wool will catch on a hanging vine. He places no hoof without watching it fall. Demeter’s garden is a wild, thriving thing. He will neither harm nor impede it.

A dangerous line of questioning. And he had not recalled a thing until she asked. What snippets floated through his mind were so incomplete, he could hardly make sense of them. Pain worse than he’d ever known. A chef lying bleeding on a desert battlefield soaked with rain. Defying Demeter, and yet, the thought gave him no shame?

His hoof stops. Shifts a hair to the right. Comes down beside thorns.

“If I had, then I would have not been so brazen as to seek a harvest without the slightest of offerings. Only now I remember…something. I see fragments, but nothing around them. I see what must be me, but it is no me that I recognize.” He is troubled. He is suffering. He lets it show. “I am afraid something may be terribly wrong with me. This is, of course, no excuse for impoliteness. While I serve your adherents aboard this vessel, I will tend to a garden myself, and all of its fruits will be given unto them and unto you. Please accept this in recompense for my poor memory.”

“But I ask for no harvest myself. With form and contract, ink and blood, Sanalessa entrusted herself entirely to my care, and I swore I would act in her best interest until she was whole again. I did not lightly seek my friend’s help, for I know not whether she herself would wish to be treated by the same arts that carved a curse into her bones. But he is my friend. I trust that when I ask him to do no more than speed what growth is in her body, he will hold to it. I believe that, given the choice, she would prefer a swifter freedom. And most of all.” He bows his head. “Sanalessa is only under my care. She is not mine. She is her own. If she decides to leave me as soon as she awakes, I will respect that decision, and wish her well.”

“Though it is my voice that asks, whatever harvest you see fit to give is hers, and hers alone. I humbly entreat, Lady of Summer, She of the Eternal Garden, that she not suffer on my behalf.”

Return to Thellamie

It’s real ice cream. The kind that comes in scoops. Not that there’s anything wrong with soft serve! Soft serve is a great treat. You can get it just about anywhere, and it’s pretty much the same everywhere, which means it’s always going to be there for you. A reliable dessert friend. And it’s no insult to a good friend to lose your head a little when there’s a concert in town, and the band’s playing spiced vanilla so rich and creamy, you have to eat it in little bites. Except you have to eat it in little bites already, because it’s hard-frozen, dessert strong against desert sun, which is just perfect, because slow is how you want to eat it. One lick at a time. One nibble at a time. Letting the sweet flavors melt in your mouth, savor every second of spice. And there’s no rush, because you bought it in a big waffle cone (scaled cone?) that’ll catch any errant drips as you make your way down to the crunchy goodness.

He’s not even had lunch yet. Illicit elevenses ice cream. Bought with his own money. Because he could.

The hollow fills with the tap-a-tap-tap of his heels on the cobbles, because the bench is too short to swing his legs about. He doesn’t know he’s smiling with his whole face, only that he’s so happy he could just burst.

He’s on an Adventure. It’s really happening.

He’s sitting on a bench in Crevas. He’s at the real Festival of Lights. He’s got a fancy pouch slung over his shoulder, and if his hands weren’t full of ice cream he’d take out one of the coins and trace the engravings again. He looks up the left side of the plaza, giving the dancer a wide berth, and a family of Serigalamu walk right past him. And! He has antlers! And a little tail! It goes flicka-flick! He doesn’t quite know how! But he runs a hand over the unfamiliar horns sprouting from his curls, somehow both tough and fuzzy at the same time, and it’s all he can do not to giggle in wonder. He scans the plaza, and his eyes cross paths with a bare stomach before bouncing at once to her face. He can watch her face, she’s performing. She. A Nagi. Real. Standing right there. Dancing right there. Aaaaaaaand now he is going to look at the fountain while she shimmies on lower to the ground. How did they make it look like water was coiling up the central pillar like that? It was magic, right? Unless it wasn’t, which could be even more impressive!

Crevas. The home of the Nagi. Shapes he had only seen on paper or - shamefully - a screen, moving. Laughing. Singing. Living.

You know, when Yuki said they were coming here, already, he was worried it was going to be a lot harder? But he’s doing great. He looks from the fountain to the glassworks shop across the plaza, and he doesn’t stop for a moment on glowing white tresses or glittering top. See? Not a problem! He’s passed more Nagi than he can count today, and he didn’t stare at any of them. It’s a lot like summertime back home, come to think of it. Even if people wore less, people were people, and that was no call to treat them like some kind of creep.

The gathering crowd breaks into applause, and he peeks over The Nagi sways lower, and lower, until nearly half of her was lying parallel to the ground. And still she dances, as if the whole world had turned sideways and not her. Just imagine the skill it takes to dance like that, not to mention the strength, goodness. Of all the eyes in the plaza, her lidded gaze finds his. And at once he looks up at the ceiling, brow furrowing, as if he had been thinking about something else the whole time. You know. The sort of thing that people do all the time when they haven’t been staring. Perfectly normal and inconspicuous.

Nicely done, Hazel. Now she thinks you were ogling her for goodness knows how long. Staring, and staring, like she was doing all this for you. You couldn’t have just looked at her like a normal person, no, you had to act as guilty as humanly possibly. Face flushed and counting the ceiling tiles. Stupid.

He should probably just leave. It’d be worse to stay.

Well. He still had a little ice cream left. He’ll leave in a bit.

(And it is awfully hard to maintain a grump in the presence of ice cream. The last bite especially, when it’s the perfect mix of crunchy cone and melty ice cream all in one big delicious burst! (Flicka-flick!))

Breathless Dead

Have you ever been a bag of wool before? You really ought to try it sometime, it’s quite comforting. Not that it’s suitable to be a bag of wool with just anyone you meet, but after a long day of stress and work and worry, imagine the relief at not even having to manage where you’re going. You are held. You will wind up somewhere nice. And all you’ve got to do is hold still. What a bargain!

“Please sir, I’ve not had nearly the free time to find a nemesis,” he says with a slight smile. It’s a joke, because it’s not really fair if it isn’t one. He’s not. He’s not personally looking to thwart 20022, they’re just. Working at cross purposes. They haven’t talked about it because. He hasn’t talked about it, because 20022 won’t listen to him. 20022 hasn’t bothered to talk about how he’s working to murder his wife, his friends, and everyone else who happened to live on the same planet as him. He hadn’t even acknowledged that bit.

Which did feel rather personal.

“20022…” he starts, staring glumly into his drink. But there’s a job to do. And there’s nothing to be had by sulking. So instead, he says, “There’s little I can do procedurally. I imagine he’s got enough to keep him busy, but the bulk of the work’s done now. If I suddenly take an interest in anything sensitive, he could spare the time to triple-check anything I do. He might just cancel my orders and do it all over himself, just to be safe.”

“I don’t know this for sure.” He shifts in his stool uncomfortably. “So take it with a grain of salt. But it’s possible he’s keeping an eye on me to make sure I’m not up to anything.” Which would be entirely uncalled-for. Nothing that happened on Beri was his fault. He was well conscious of that. “Just in case, we ought to find a way to keep in touch. It might look a little odd if you keep stopping by for lunch.”

His ears flick. No one in the halls. Nobody in the nearest few halls.

“You mentioned Ikarani. Is that anything like a Deodekoi?”

Somewhere, in the collection of all the words ever written, there must be a combination that, when said in the proper order, the proper way, would make 20022 realize how wrong this all was. He did not have time to find those words. He might have time to thwart an extermination fleet. If he hurries. If he can work through the sting of settling for a second-best, less sensible solution. Most importantly, if he can keep 20022 from noticing what he’s really up to.

Do you plan on using the assassin against Liquid Bronze?

“If so, I would like to formally request your assistance with a little matter of my own. You see, I don’t know if I’m properly caring for a severed head…”

Breathless Dead

That’s…what?

Oh, dear friend, what have they done to you? Conversations in dreams? Snatched away? That’s not how it happened at all. Though perhaps this does fill in a few other blanks. You were and are a Biomancer. You studied at the most prestigious academies of your craft. You flew too close to the sun. The fullness of your wanderings brought you to Beri, along with Mosaic, along with Vasilly, and him, and then at some point your old colleagues must have found you there and spirited you away. Don’t you remember? He remembers. He remembers the time you explained your dream, walking down the broken roads of a ruined town. The cracked, blackened streets stretched on forever. The homes were packed in, sometimes one on top of the other. And they were looking for. And they were going to. And they had to. And then.

It’s quiet. Everywhere is quiet. His own heart makes no sound. The Ancient Craftsman is looking at him. He’s frowning. Oh dear. He’s supposed to speak, isn’t he? Dolce coughs, begs pardon, and mechanically refills the glass of schnapps, pouring with both hands like he was taught. It gives him a few moments to review the last few seconds. Piece together the thoughts. Stuff one in a box. Promise to come back to it later. Wait patiently for its last echoes to die away.

Why can’t I remember where those ruins were?

“Vesper…yes, Vesper, of course. Yes. The last I had heard, Mosaic was keeping good care of her, and she was holding up as well as she could.” More. Not enough. He left her? He was…trying to help her, surely? And then got taken away before he could finish? “I would be happy to help, in any way I could. I know they’ll both be delighted to see her well again. Ah, however…” Bigger problems. He promises to come back later. “I’m afraid this ship is currently en route to see her. Along with everyone else who lived on Beri, who are now currently fleeing in an ancient Imperial cruiser. Quite a lot’s happened, you see…”

They do not have the luxury of time. But they do have the luxury of snacks, and a pretense for conversation. In short order, he recounts his curious and doomed foray into civil service, the greed and downfall of the Crystal Knight, and the bureaucratic prison he currently finds himself in, all while faithfully attending to the guest at his kitchen.

Breathless Dead

The day after the Summerkind died, there was tension, in the Cancellation. By silent accord, the Biomancers kept eye contact to a minimum, remained still and set in place as they worked, focused one notch too intently on their tasks, and most importantly of all, spoke as little as possible. The looming crisis does not exist, if no one speaks of it. The first Biomancer to leave their post is just following their usual routine, if everyone pretends they’re not watching them closely. The brave soul walked to the nearest mess hall, as usual. They approached the window to the kitchens, as usual. Inside, an off-color sheep hands them a tray loaded with tasty, tasteful delicacies, as they hoped he would.

A held breath is released. The crisis is averted. Several thousand Biomancers simultaneously decide it is time for lunch. They disperse to the various corners of the ship, to their preferred kitchens, to the closest kitchens, and they feast on Dolce’s handiwork again.

One Biomancer arrives after the others have gone. Dolce hands the Ancient Craftsman a tray. Freshly prepared. Slightly altered, to match his tastes. “Long day?” He asks, in the time-honored tradition of server to served. He asks, in the way that a chef on Beri once asked a old, learned soul for his teachings. He asks, and he will listen, in the way that the Ancient Craftsman likes to be listened to, and doesn’t he need a listening ear right now?

The protection of Hestia was the first miracle. This, then, was the second. One that 20022 could not possibly anticipate.

It would be rude to waste a miracle, wouldn’t it?

Breathless Dead

“I can’t imagine an Azura stopping like that. I feel like they would either bring their work with them, or make a grand ceremony out of the whole affair. Mind, I haven’t got the largest sampling, so maybe it’s different elsewhere, but I’ve yet to meet someone really involved with the Skies who looks like they could take a simple vacation. The sort where you go on a beach, lay down, do nothing but…no, sorry, that’s not quite right. Home is not a vacation, home is supposed to be every day. It’s supposed to be a part of normal life. And it’s missing from all of them. It’s like they’ve carved it out and thrown it into the fire, in service to something that makes them cry glory, glory.”

They’re walking the decks now, through endless sepulchers and cradles. In the distance, strange music carries on the breeze, and it will not stop until the ship is full. On the wall before them, a glittering mural of Summerkind are arrayed around a tiny sheep, holding up a pie bigger than him. All pose in artful, overwhelmed joy at this miracle of sumptuousness. In very small letters, all around the tin, somebody’s written the recipe.

And this is what the Azura strive with all their might to ignore.

“What a waste.” His voice cracks. “What a horrible waste.”

Breathless Dead

She finds him where she always does; in the kitchens. The constant buzz of activity dulls to a pleasant background hum. The scents blend and grow into a rich fullness that begs to be stopped and savored. Even the oppressive heat could be mistaken for an oven that’s been left open.

Dolce’s heart leaps, and cares not for the mousse he was mixing. The dessert, sensing an opportunity, makes a daring escape before he can restore order to the bowl. He wipes his hands on his apron. Hestia dips her finger in the spilled mousse, and samples shamelessly. He opens his mouth, and fifteen different thoughts scramble to figure out which should be first. Hestia takes the opportunity to offer a spoonful of ice cream.

He doesn’t have to be perfect here. Home is a place where you can laugh at mistakes.

“I have missed you so much.” He finally gets out. “I, she’s well? Vasilia’s well? Oh thank goodness. Thank goodness.” He’s going to make it. He’s going to make it. There will be a home for him to return to. He’s not going to be too late. After, yes, after there will be difficulties, but, but! “Oh Hestia, it’s awful here. It’s been awful ever since I left Beri. I haven’t met a single soul who seems like they know you. Are all the official parts of the Skies this noisy?”