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    1. thedman 7 yrs ago
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5 yrs ago
Current Who needs drugs when you can just stand up really fast
7 likes
6 yrs ago
I think I need a new razor. Shaving feels like rubbing a slightly pointy eraser against my face five times.
1 like
6 yrs ago
It sounds like God is taking a piss on my house outside
2 likes
6 yrs ago
Just noticed that my total amount of reactions recieved is equal to the amount of reactions given. Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
1 like
6 yrs ago
Nothing quite like powering through an assignment through sheer anger at having to do it

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Michael, Franklin, and Queen Sectonia

Level 5 Michael (27/50) EXP / Level 4 Franklin (31/40) EXP (+3 EXP)
Level 2 Sectonia - (11/20) +3
Word Count: 1421
Location: Clik Clak Diner



As Michael dug into his pancakes, he took a moment to look up as he heard the door opening. He blinked, pausing for a moment to look at the person who walked in. It was a...bee? At least, they resembled one. Franklin also turned his head around to look at the bee person for a moment, then turning back around and going back to eating. Given everything they had seen so far, a giant bee-lady wasn't the weirdest, although it was probably up there. Michael stared for a little while longer, furrowing his brow as he got the sense that he had seen her before. Wait...when we got out of that hole, she was there. Next to Blazermate, I think... As he glanced over her again, he noticed that her eyes lacked the red glow that the town's inhabitants had. He gave Franklin a nudge, whispering to him. "Hey, look at her eyes."

He turned around again, taking a look at her eyes, noticing what Michael had spotted. "Oh...yeah, I see it."

Michael gave him a nod, looking back down to his food, getting close to finishing his meal. The waitress soon came up and placed a vanilla milkshake on the table, which he took. "Thanks." He took a sip, swallowing and placing the glass down. "Ahh, that's good."

Franklin simply continued to finish off his pancakes. "Mm-hmm. So, anything else we missed?"

"Well, uh...oh, we should go and find Blazermate, see if we can refill on ammo using that dispenser thing. And uh..." He lowered his voice a little. "We should probably go talk to her. I think she's another new member of the group."

"Yeah, yeah." The two went back to eating their food in silence, Michael finishing his plate before Franklin despite having ordered more food. Once they had both finished, and paid for their meal with some of the rupees they had earned earlier, they got up and walked over to the table where the bee-lady was sitting. "Uh...hey, I think I saw you earlier. You know Blazermate, right? We're part of the same group as her."

Sectonia kept mostly to herself in this place. It looked very different from what she knew, and while it lacked a more elegant flare and especially lacked vibrant colors, it had a bit of a mechanical precision to its design that was, at least tolerable. The food really wasn't that much to write home about thought. While she could easily dip the fruits in honey to make them more elegant, the fruits were kind of small and there wasn't nearly enough honey, but they did their job all the same.

She heard muttering coming from the table next to hers, as the two people were talking about something, but she paid it no mind. She had her tongue deep in the bottle of honey she was given however when the pair got up and moved up to chat with her. Seeing as she kept mostly to herself, she was quick to compose herself, the two probably only getting a hint of seeing her eating.

Hearing their question did peak her curiosity, and giving herself a moment, as if she was processing what they said (when in reality she was making sure honey wasn't in her mouth), Sectonia said. "Are you? It seems like most of you were over here. I've met quite a few of you."

Turning to give them her attention, Sectonia continued. "I am Queen Sectonia, ruler of Floralia, who's beauty rivals that of the gods. You are?" Having needed to do this song and dance a few times made this feel droll in the grand scheme of things. However Sectonia knew most of these people would have no idea who she was, and they couldn't worship or follow a nameless figure no matter how beautiful could they?

Michael raised an eyebrow as he listened to her response. Given her rather...flashy appearance, it wasn't too surprising that she was royalty of some sort. She had apparently met a few of the others which was good- it hopefully meant that they wouldn't have to explain the whole situation to another newcomer. He had to wonder how she would react to Bowser, given that he proclaimed himself a king. Hopefully they would get along...although, given her response, it seemed like she had a bit of a vanity problem, not unlike plenty of people in Los Santos. Clearing his throat, he introduced himself. "I'm Michael, and this is Franklin." Franklin gave a nod, mostly hanging off to the side. "Anyways, uh...I assume you've been told about the plan?"

It was clear the man in the suit was the leader of the pair, speaking for the pair of them as it were. She looked the pair over again, and it made sense seeing as this one was a bit more fancy than the other one. She mulled something over in her head a bit before saying. "I see. You are more sharply dressed than your cohort Michael. In fact so far you seem to be the most decorated of all the humans I've seen so far." Compliments were rare from her, but considering as this human was showing some effort of class unlike the others she had seen, a bit of positive reinforcement was due.

"That loud 'Bowser' baffoon also wore a suit, but it looked a bit tattered." Sectonia continued, turning her compliment back into an insult towards Bowser. This did give her an idea, seeing as that 'king' did have items Sectonia was interested in. When she regained more of her Magic, maybe she could extort him and make him look more beautiful in the future. Although there was nothing she could do about his loud voice. Still, she gave an approving look to Michael.

"As for this 'plan', I'm to understand we are going to destroy some powerful creature and make its power our own. What do you bring to this 'plan'?" Sectonia said, conjuring one of her magic staffs but only holding it casually to give the pair an idea of what she did.

"Ah...thanks. I try my best." Michael looked over his suit, straightening it out a bit. He listened with interest as she mentioned Bowser. Huh, so they did meet...and it sounds like they didn't exactly get along too well. He wasn't exactly surprised, given their personalities he'd be more surprised if they didn't clash. "Yeah...mine got sort of torn up, but the guys at Peach's castle were able to fix it and clean it up."

He nodded as she spoke about the plan, holding out what Michael guessed was some sort of magical staff, with her...floating hands. ...why does she have- ah, whatever. I've seen weirder. Nodding, he spoke up once she finished. "We use guns. They're a type of advanced ranged weapon, very powerful. We might not have any powers, but we're skilled fighters." He looked over to the door. "We were about to head out and join up with the rest of the group in a moment. Care to join us?"

Sectonia chuckled a bit at the mention of Michael also noting his suit got damaged at some point, but also noting he got it fixed at the castle where Sectonia had just come from. She figured it was probably one of those mushroom minions that fixed it up, skilled minions if directed perhaps? However what she found funny was that this 'Bowser' was probably offered the same service and didn't take up on it from the looks of things.

When they explained their 'guns', Sectonia could only stare blankly. She snapped out of her thoughts about the odd contraptions fairly quickly though. She had a few mechanical servants and machines under her control back in Floralia, but much like Blazermate and that woman in the suit of armor, this was clearly technology not found in her world. While she greatly doubted such small objects could put out the sheer devastation of magic, she nodded all the same.

"Yes, lets." Sectonia said, grabbing the remainder of her honey and poofing it away with her hands. She then throw down a bit of the currency she was given earlier as she left with the two men. Having to pay for your own food felt wrong to her, but it wasn't her money anyway so she didn't really complain.

After a short walk, the trio met up with the rest of the group, ready for what was sure to be a daunting and dangerous fight.
Michael and Franklin

Level 5- (24/50) EXP / Level 4- (28/40) EXP (+1 EXP)
Location: Devil's Casino ---> Clik Clak Diner
Wordcount: 395



Michael looked over the device the Cadet had handed him with apprehension. "Ah...uh-huh..." He gulped, placing the device on his arm and doing as the Cadet said, aiming it and closing his eyes as he pulled the trigger. "Alri-WOAH!" He let out a yelp of surprise as he was suddenly pulled up and out of the hole, lying on the ground for a moment to catch his breath. "Jeez...that's something, alright." Getting up, he would toss the device down the hole, in case anyone still down there wanted to use it to get up.

Franklin, on the other hand, just shrugged and climbed up the ropes. Once he reached the top, he walked out of the guild hall to find Michael looking around. "So...what's next?" He asked as he walked beside him.

"Next...I am getting something to eat. Hey, excuse me." He called out to a passerby. "You know somewhere we can get breakfast here?"



"This...this is good. This is what I needed."

The two had sat down at the nearby Clik Clak Diner. The building wasn't too hard to miss, given that its relatively modern look stood out like a sore thumb from the medieval buildings that surrounded it. Michael was in the process of digging into a large plate of pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon, and sausage, while Franklin had settled for just a stack of pancakes. "Mmh. Oh yeah. God, I'm starving."

"Yeah, it's not bad. Not as good as that feast, though."

"I dunno, man. These are some good pancakes." Michael said, stuffing another bite of pancake into his mouth. "Or I'm just really hungry."

Franklin simply nodded, taking another bite and swallowing before he spoke up. "So, what's next?"

"Well, uh...guess we'll go after the next one on the list. I'll see what the rest of the guys are doing."

"Mhm. We still got some money, you wanna buy something?"

"I'll ask the others what we're doing, and if we need something, we'll get it." Swallowing a forkful of scrambled eggs, he tapped his fork against the plate a few times, trying to think of what else they needed to do. "Oh, and uh, I guess get something for Baba to eat. If he even needs to eat. I...honestly have no idea."

"Right, right...so, that it?"

"Pretty much...oh, actually, more importantly-" He flagged down the waitress. "Could I get a milkshake?"
Michael and Franklin

Level 5- (23/50) EXP / Level 4- (27/40) EXP (+1 EXP)
Location: Devil's Casino
Wordcount: 529



It didn't take long for Mangosteen to go down. Unlike their last enemy, the floating eight ball wasn't able to withstand a .50 caliber round to the face, and after a few more shots from Franklin's pistol, he was done. Michael stared for a few moments, surprised that the fight was already over. "Well...shit, that was easy. Why can't they all be like that?" Shrugging, he and Franklin headed out of the room, back onto the gambling table from before.

When they emerged, they were greeted by a welcome sight. A large number of the town's adventurers had jumped down the pit, and they, along with a number of the group, were in the middle of confronting the dice-man. The two were quick to join them, pointing their weapons at Gneidxick. As the Houndmaster declared that he was under arrest, suddenly everything went blurry. A sense of vertigo overcame them, and before they could react the two felt something hard hit them.

Michael groaned as he fell on his face, placing a hand on his sore head, still recovering from being kicked in the face by a giant zombie horse. "Owww...what the hell..." He brought himself up to his knees, blinking a few times as his vision cleared. He blinked several more times, as it seemed that his surroundings had been shrunk significantly. Wait...wait a minute... Shaking his head, he soon realized it wasn't his surroundings that had been shrunk, but rather, he and the rest of the party had been brought back to their normal size. The casino looked a lot more normal, now that they weren't shrunken down.

Letting out another groan, he reached down to pick up his rifle, but paused before aiming it at the now normal-sized dice man. A newcomer had appeared, and was currently in the middle of berating the former Guildmaster. His dizziness caused him to drift off from the specifics of their conversation, and once it was over, she opened a portal and the two walked off, without a trace. He blinked, looking back to Franklin. "...uhh. What just happened?"

"...yeah, I got nothing. Who was that lady?" Michael shrugged, leaning on the gambling table and rubbing his head. The fall wasn't too bad, but his head really wasn't in the shape for him to be slamming into the floor willy-nilly. He wasn't paying too much attention to the conversations going on, but he picked up a few interesting things. They seemed to have been transported quite a ways away, but the hole was still open, giving them a means of getting from one end of the world to another. It would probably be useful for their quest, but Michael wasn't thinking about that now. His head still hurt, and he still hadn't gotten to eat his breakfast. Slinging his rifle onto his back, he nodded to Franklin to follow him, and the two to walk towards the hole...and then stared up at it. A few ropes had been slung down, and Michael stared at them uneasily. "Ehh...I'm not sure I want to try that climb." He turned around to face the rest of the group. "Anyone got another way up?"
Michael and Franklin

Level 5- (9/50) EXP / Level 4- (13/40) EXP (+1 EXP)
Location: Devil's Casino
Wordcount: 258



As the two walked into the room, the two were once again taken aback by the bizarre atmosphere. It looked like they were in the middle of outer space, but with pool balls floating around. They soon noticed one in particular, the eight ball, that was floating before them. Before either of them could say anything, a pair of eyes and rows of teeth suddenly appeared on it, staring at them in a disturbing manner. Michael blinked as the thing spoke to him, looking at his rifle. "Uhhh...what?"

Their confusion, not helped by the fact that they just woke up, got the better of them. Before they could react, the projectile burst at their feet, knocking them down. As they hit the floor, reality quickly set back in, and adrenaline pumped through their veins. Despite how bizarre their opponent was, there was no time for gawking- they needed to fight. Rolling to avoid the bouncing chalks, the two managed to get up quickly enough, Michael reaching down to grab his rifle and Franklin taking out his pistol. "We gotta keep moving! Frank, you distract him while I line up a shot."

Franklin nodded, running forward while dodging the chalks. He ran to the left, firing several pistol shots at Mangosteen in an attempt to draw his attention. At the same time, Michael ran towards the right, rifle in hand. As Franklin fired his pistol, he aimed his rifle, taking a few moments to steady his aim before firing his rifle, aiming for the big '8' in its' center.

Michael and Franklin

Level 5- (8/50) EXP / Level 4- (12/40) EXP (+1 EXP)
Location: Devil's Casino
Wordcount: 246



To their surprise, neither of the two were injured by the fall. As they landed on what looked like grass but certainly didn't feel like it, Michael immediately looked up at where they came from, just in time to watch the hole close up above them. "Aw, shit..." Grumbling, he looked down, and his surroundings hit him at once. They were both familiar with casinos, but this was no ordinary casino. It was absolutely massive, towering over them like ants. The occupants of the oversized facility seemed to pay them no mind, caught up in their own games. Jesus...I feel like an action figure, looking around a kid's bedroom.

As he turned his head, Michael noticed that several members of the group were there. Looking up, he then noticed the... die man? Standing before them. He explained the game to them, and the two shared a look. "Right..." Michael said, turning to look at the portals in front of them. So, guess this is how it's gonna be...might as well get it done with and be ready for when he tries to stab us in the back. Again.

After a few moments, the two walked off in the direction of one of the portals, chosen at random. "Alright, well...we're gonna go take this one. Good luck to the rest of you." Unslinging his rifle, Michael made sure it was loaded before stepping through the portal, Franklin following behind him with his pistol at the ready.

Michael and Franklin

Level 5- (7/50) EXP / Level 4- (11/40) EXP (+1 EXP)
Location: Lumbridge, Land of Adventure ---> Devil's Casino
Wordcount: 563



Michael woke up slowly, rubbing his eyes as he returned to consciousness. He stared up at the ceiling, his vision blurry. Where...where am I- oh, right... As he lie there, the memory of last night began to return to him. His head was still sore, but he felt in better shape than he was. I could really use an aspirin or something right now... He turned to his side, looking around the room. Franklin's bed was empty, and his items were gone, indicating that he had already woken up and left. Baba was still asleep in the corner, seemingly undisturbed by Franklin leaving and Michael waking up. With a groan, Michael sat up, moving to the side and standing up and off the bed. After taking a few minutes to get all his clothes and gear back on, Michael stepped out the door, taking a look at Baba as he exited. "I'll, uh...get you something to eat when we get back. If you even need to eat..." Shrugging, he stepped out into the hallway, and walked downstairs.

After finding out, to his disappointment, that the inn did not serve breakfast, Michael stepped outside in search of something to eat. As he exited the building, he took a moment to take a deep breath and appreciate the morning sun. After the harrowing fight, he was glad to be back in the rustic town. However, the moment would be interrupted by noise from down the street. Turning in its direction, Michael saw a number of people, some of them looking pretty beat up, huddled around. "The hell..."

Walking over to the area, what he heard only made him more curious- and worried. Dead Zone? Zombies? What the hell is going on here? Where'd all these people come from, anyways? He kept his distance from the group of people, opting to instead observe from a distance. Before he could ask any questions, he heard footsteps behind him.

Turning around, he saw Franklin running out of the guild hall, his eyes wide. "Mike!" He cried out. "Man, you gotta see this- something's going down at the guild building. Something crazy." He gestured Michael to follow him, then ran in the direction of the guild hall.

As they entered the building, Michael's eyes went wide as he saw what was happening. "Whoa, what the fuck?" He blurted out, staring at the...hole? Portal? Whatever it was, that had appeared on the floor.

"I don't know, either, man. I was walking by, and I saw Bowser and the others talking to the guildmaster dude, right? He was mad at them for some reason, something about a bet...and then, all of a sudden, this thing opens up, and it sucks them all in!"

"...oh, shit. That son of a bitch...he betrayed us?"

"Worse than that. You know how we thought that big ugly thing we killed was Galeem's lieutenant? Well, turns out this guildmaster guy might be the real lieutenant after all."

Michael stared down the portal. "Right under our noses, too...damn. Guess...guess we're gonna go down there and fight him, huh?" He sighed. "Can I at least get something to eat first?"

"You'll be fine, fatass. Now, c'mon, we got no time to waste." With that, Franklin suddenly leapt forward, jumping down into the portal. Michael, grumbling something under his breath, stepped forward after him and jumped down as well.
Michael and Franklin

Level 5- (6/50) EXP / Level 4- (10/40) EXP (+2 EXP)
Location: Ancestral Farmland, Land of Adventure ---> Lumbridge, Land of Adventure
Wordcount: 756



The ride back to Lumbridge was, thankfully, uneventful. Michael had, with Franklin's assistance, stumbled into a seat and put his head down, not saying anything during the ride as he tried to get some rest and recover from his injuries. Franklin had also taken the opportunity to rest, watching the scenery go by through the window as they made their way back to Lumbridge. He paid scant attention to the conversations of those around him, simply taking his time to rest and clear his head after the harrowing battle. As they got further onto the road, he closed his eyes, trying to drift off to sleep.

A while later, the two began to stir from their sleep as the monster truck came to a stop, the lights of Lumbridge visible from the windows. Groaning, Michael struggled to get up from his seat, Franklin coming over to help him out of the seat and through the door, taking a moment to unbuckle Baba from his seat and motion for the critter to follow him. As they stepped out of the truck, they were met with a number of the townsfolk gathered outside. One of them offered a cup of water and a blanket to Michael, which he took with some hesitation. As they walked further, Michael looked over the crowd with half-lidded eyes, a look of confusion on his face. "What...what are they doing?"

The pair stopped as the Houndmaster approached the group, Michael looking up from his daze to face him. He gave a slight nod as he congratulated the group. Next, another man approached, offering the group free lodgings at his inn. Michael shot a confused look to Franklin, who simply gave him a shrug. They followed along with the rest of the group to the inn, wasting no time in getting up to a room. Franklin lay Michael down on one of the beds, while Baba simply chose to sit in a corner of the room.

After a few moments, Michael turned his head to face Franklin, who had taken a seat on the other bed on the right side of the room. "...what was that about?"

"They're saying we're heroes. Giving us free stuff for a reward." Franklin replied, looking away from Michael as he took out his two pistols, unloading the nine millimeter and beginning to disassemble it.

"...never heard that one before." Michael mumbled, pausing for a few moments as he stared off into space. "Frank, what the hell are we doing?"

"What do you mean?" He shot Michael a look, before going back to disassembling his pistol, checking if anything needed cleaning.

"Think about it, man...when were we heroes? We're...we're criminals, Frank. We steal. We kill people. And now we're, what? Running around, acting like we're some sort of knights in shining armor?"

Franklin shrugged. "...'cause there's no other way to get home?"

"...what's so good about home, anyways?"

"Oh, come on..." Franklin put his pistol down, looking at Michael directly. "Cut that dramatic shit out, man. What else are we gonna do? Go join Trevor and run around in the desert? Go rob banks, when money don't mean nothing anymore? It's a new world, new rules."

"We're still not heroes. I haven't done anything heroic in my life. These guys...they have all these powers and shit, man, and what do we have? A fancy gun and some..."

"That fancy gun took down some big targets. And if you want powers, just use one of those spirit things. Look..." Franklin leaned forward. "We're the lucky ones. Everyone out there- they're still brainwashed. Under the influence. You wanna be stuck in a world like that?" He took a deep breath. "It don't matter what we used to be. Heroes or not, we're doing this. And if you don't wanna? Then I'll go without you. Hell, if everyone in this group of ours dies or gets brainwashed or whatever, I'm gonna fight that Galeem asshole by myself if I gotta, because I'm not being stuck in this place for the rest of my life."

Michael was silent for several moments. Franklin went back to his pistol, re-assembling it, and placing it and the plasma pistol on the night stand. After a few more moments, he spoke up. "...I don't wanna be stuck here, either."

"Good. Now go to bed, you need to recover. Goodnight." With that, Franklin lied down, closing his eyes. Sleep came quickly for the two, tired after the long fight. Whatever happened tomorrow, they would worry about it then.
Michael and Franklin

Level 4- (31/40) EXP / Level 3- (25/30) EXP (+1 EXP)
Location: Ancestral Farmland, Land of Adventure
Wordcount: 358
Michael's Stress: 80 / Franklin's Stress: 55



Michael grinned as he saw the foreman get eviscerated by his sniper shot, the sight bringing an almost primordial satisfaction to him. He quickly moved his scope back over the thinning horde, looking for his next target. He settled on one of the other foremen, seeing them as higher priority targets. He took a deep breath, settling his crosshairs...

His focus on the battle, however, would leave him distracted enough for an enemy to slip by. Confident that he was far enough from the battlefield to be out of harm's way, he wouldn't see the plow horse approach him. His earplugs, worn to protect his hearing but leaving him deaf, would make him miss the sound of its approach. Thus, Michael was completely caught off guard as the ghoul horse's hoof slammed down on his head, a sick crack ringing out. He didn't have time to scream as he landed on the ground with a thud, his rifle clattering beside him uselessly. He was stunned, struggling to lift his eyes open as he tried to look around, still unsure of what happened.

Franklin, meanwhile, continued his fight against the horde, sticking mainly to the machete as it was evident that his pistol had little effect on the creatures. Expecting some more covering fire from Michael, he turned around to see what was causing him to take so long. What he saw caused his stomach to drop. "MIKE!" He yelled out, taking a moment to look between his allies fighting the horde and his friend knocked out in the distance. While he didn't want to leave them to fight the horde alone, he didn't have a choice- if he didn't leave, his friend was going to die. Turning away, he ran in Michael's direction.

Franklin ran as fast as he could, trying to close the distance. As he ran, he let out a loud yell and fired his pistol towards the plow horse several times, trying to draw attention away from Michael and onto him. Running as fast as he could, he swung his flaming machete at the creature, aiming for its neck in an attempt to decapitate it.



Michael gains 40 stress. Franklin gains 15 stress.
Michael and Franklin

Level 4- (30/40) EXP / Level 3- (24/30) EXP (+1 EXP)
Location: Ancestral Farmland, Land of Adventure
Wordcount: 223
Michael's Stress: 40 / Franklin's Stress: 40



"Sorry!" Franklin cried out, wincing as he watched the machete accidentally bounce off of the Centurion's helmet. Throwing machetes wasn't something he had practiced often, as he almost always fought with guns, and it showed. With a motion, the machete re-materialized in his hand. With a more careful aim, he tossed it at the Thing a second time, adding onto the wave of attacks the group was directing towards the creature. As the machete warped into his hand again, he stepped back as Bowser approached, attacking the creature. He instead turned to the swarms of husks, letting Bowser and the others handle the Thing. With the machete in one hand and his nine-millimeter pistol in the other, he leapt into the fray, tossing the machete in a wide arc to cut down as many of the husks as he could, before raising his pistol and trying to shoot down the floating scarecrows.

Still decently far away from the fighting, Michael's scope trailed over the enemies. He didn't want to risk shooting at either of the big targets yet, since the number of allies attacking them in melee made it a dangerous task. He instead settled his crosshairs on one of the foremen, seeing as they appeared to be leading the mass of husks forward. Steadying his aim, he pulled the trigger and fired.
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