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    1. thedman 7 yrs ago
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5 yrs ago
Current Who needs drugs when you can just stand up really fast
7 likes
6 yrs ago
I think I need a new razor. Shaving feels like rubbing a slightly pointy eraser against my face five times.
1 like
6 yrs ago
It sounds like God is taking a piss on my house outside
2 likes
6 yrs ago
Just noticed that my total amount of reactions recieved is equal to the amount of reactions given. Perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
1 like
6 yrs ago
Nothing quite like powering through an assignment through sheer anger at having to do it

Bio

Most Recent Posts

Killed by a freak mobility scooter accident.
DSS Audie Murphy



Compared to their previous engagement, the UED forces were doing very well against this enemy. Probably because, unlike their previous enemy, these creatures died when you shot them. Carver had already picked off several of the smaller ones, and the other Marines were picking off plenty of them as well. During all the chaos of the battle, he barely noticed the alien ship going down, still focused on the enemies in front of him. He did notice a number of the creatures moving away from his ship, leading to him looking over to see the crashed airship. At least they have a shield. They can hold out.

Looking back towards the battle, Carver watched as the Goliaths launched their missiles at the larger enemies. The result of the attack left a smile on his face. The larger creatures had been utterly devastated by the attack, with the first few dead or crippled. As their bodies fell to the ground, cheers erupted from the Marines, and Carver cheered with them. Despite their size, these beings were no match for the might of the Terran war machine. The missiles ripped through their flesh like tissue paper. As the remaining creatures moved to engage them, Carver wasn't too worried. The big ones were only a threat if they got close, something the Goliaths could easily stop with a few missiles. He was more concerned that the smaller ones would try to swarm them, which would force them to engage them in melee.

"Form a perimeter around the Goliaths! Don't let anything get through!" At his command, the Marines moved to form a semicircle around the two Goliaths. If any of the smaller ones tried to swarm them, they would be cut down by gauss fire. As they prepared to take on the creatures, nobody noticed a small creature move towards them. Carver barely caught a glimpse of it before it perched onto one of the Goliaths. To his surprise, though, it didn't attack the Goliath, instead choosing to prance on the mech's hull in what looked like excitement. This caused a chain reaction, as the Goliath's pilot suddenly noticed the creature, followed by the Marines.

"Shit, it's on me, it's on me!"

"What the fuck is that?"

"Shoot it!"

"Don't shoot it! I repeat, do not engage!" Carver shouted, putting his hand up as one Marine raised his rifle. He lowered his rifle, looking between Carver and the creature, before slowly turning back around. As the Sergeant looked at the creature, he could see several similarities in its uniform to the griffon from before. He could only assume that it wasn't hostile...but why was it here, on top of their mech? Looking back and seeing the enemy begin to move towards them, he figured that he could save those questions for later.

As the larger creatures got into range, the Goliaths prepared to engage. The sounds of missiles being launched could be heard, as they unleashed another salvo at the larger beings. During the chaos, Carver barely noticed the streaks of green light heading towards the ship.


On the bridge, Specialist Lee prepared himself to listen into the creature's mind. As the connection was made, he was taken about by the sheer amount of activity buzzing through its mind. It seemed to be directing the other creatures, validating his theories that this one was a leader of some kind. However, he didn't get much time to look through its thoughts, as it seemed to catch onto his presence within seconds, and was staring right at him, snarling. Suddenly, his mind was flooded with thousands of screams and terrible images. Lee was taken aback, fighting to sever the connection as the mental attack worsened. He could faintly make out the sound of gunfire, and soon enough, the attack began to fade in intensity, allowing him enough concentration to end the connection. As the connection ended, he let his cloak fade away, finding it too difficult to maintain it after the harsh mental assault. He could see it had been wounded by the crewmen's gunfire, and he could sense it preparing a counter-attack.

Fortunately for the crewmen, something intervened. He could only watch as the three new beings moved in, two moving to apparently protect the crewmen, while the third attacked. They seemed to have countered the other creature's psionic attack, and one of the new beings attacked it, throwing shards of glass at it. As he watched them fight, he decided that these new beings were allies, not enemies. Taking out his canister rifle, he managed to stand up, still somewhat shaken from the psionic attack. Lifting the rifle up, he took a shot at the enemy creature.

Meanwhile, the surviving crewmen were surprised to find that they were being healed, not killed. While they were terrified at the whole situation, they surrendered to the aid of the unknown beings. They could only hope that this whole situation would be over soon.
The three guards, distracted by their game, didn't notice the door open. By the time one of them saw the stun grenade, it was too late. The grenade went off, blinding and disorienting the three guards. They fell onto the floor, confused and in shock. As soon as he heard the grenade go off, David rushed into the room, weapon at the ready. Spotting the guards, he began to engage. They put up no resistance, and were easily taken out by controlled bursts of 9mm fire. The MP5SD was a very quiet weapon, and it likely wouldn't attract any attention from guards outside. As the guards fell, David swept the room, looking for any guards that he could have missed. Seeing that the room was empty, he lowered his weapon. "Room's clear."

Moving into the room, David spared the bodies a passing glance. They were definitely not expecting an attack, and they wore confused expressions on their faces. Pushing away uncomfortable thoughts, he moved on, looking at the rows of terminals and machines. From here, they could probably cut the power. Looking over at Carlotta, he began to speak. "Alright, you know the tech better than me. Go and cut the power, I'll cover you."

Taking a moment to change to a fresh magazine, he looked over the room once more, noticing another door. Walking over to it, he slowly opened it, taking a peek inside. It seemed that this was where the generators and other equipment was held. Fortunately, nobody was inside, meaning the building was clear. He walked around the control room, making sure nobody came in while Carlotta cut the power. Unclipping his radio, he brought it up to his mouth, and pushed the talk button. "This is Washington. We've secured the power station."
Welcome! I think you'll like it here.
David stood near the edge of the warehouse, looking at the L-shaped building that was the blacksite's power station. If they could secure it, Carlotta could disable the power, de-activating their alarms and allowing Falcon Squad to engage the enemy without them being able to call backup. Between the warehouse and the power station, there was a number of vehicles and crates that they could use for cover. It was very lucky for them, since it gave them a means to avoid the spotlight that had been sweeping over the area. They would be able to move from cover to cover, stopping when the spotlight passed over the area, and moving when it went away. As he watched the spotlight, he felt Carlotta tap him on the shoulder. "Almost..." He watched as the spotlight moved, and eventually went past the power station. "Alright, now!"

He ran across the field as fast as he could, making it nearly halfway before the spotlight passed over the area. Taking cover behind a crate, his heart raced as the spotlight passed over him. Easy. They can't see you. After a few agonizing moments, the spotlight moved out of sight, and he moved again, this time making it all the way to the power station. Stacking up next to the door, he noticed a glass panel on it that allowed him to look inside the room. Moving his head to look in, he took in the details of the room. He assumed it was a control room of sorts, judging by the terminals that lined the walls. There was a great deal of advanced-looking equipment that he had no idea what purpose it served. Looking towards the right side of the room, he saw three ADVENT troopers sitting around a plastic table, apparently playing some sort of card game. They weren't wearing their helmets, and he could see their rifles leaning against a nearby terminal. With them distracted with their game, he and Carlotta could easily ambush them.

Moving away from the door, he looked over to Carlotta. "There's three of them, and they're distracted. If you threw a flashbang in there, I could move in and take them out." He thought it would be best for him to take the guards out, since his weapon was suppressed, and Carlotta's wasn't. If any nearby guards heard gunshots, they would no doubt raise the alarm, and then everything would go to shit. Taking another look into the room, he continued. "This looks like it's the control room for the power. Once the guards are down, you can get to work on cutting the power."

DSS Audie Murphy



Carver watched with a sort of satisfaction as the creatures disintegrated into nothing. Whatever they were, they weren't coming back. Reloading his gauss rifle, he watched as the screen in his helmet blinked on. Interestingly enough, the attackers this time seemed more similar to the things currently dying on the floor than the ones that had attacked them originally. Looks like they die the same, too, he noted, giving a slight smile as the things were shot up by the ship's guns. He frowned as he saw the larger creatures, who were out of the gun's range.

What happened next was even more interesting. He watched as, of all things, a griffon, appeared on screen, attacking the creatures. While its armor was primitive by Terran standards, it showed that there was intelligent life on this planet. That was noteworthy- the only other species they had known were the Zerg and the Protoss. Other than relics, they had never found evidence of any other forms of intelligent life. And, given that they had the same enemy, it was possible that these new beings could be made into allies of the UED, instead of enemies.

As he observed the fight happening outside the ship, he was interrupted as another video feed was opened, showing what was, apparently, the unknown ship that had killed the hostile creatures. To his surprise, it was made out of what looked like wood, with a large ring-like structure around it, presumably keeping it in the air. An airship? I was expecting something more...advanced. Must be something to do with that energy it's giving off. He watched as it sent electricity into the air, killing more of the swarming creatures. As it descended further into the ground, he couldn't help but feel guilty. Too bad we nearly shot them out of the sky...but what were we supposed to do? Under attack, and an unknown energy signature moves in...

Whatever. We'll explain it when we talk to them. As he watched the battle through his helmet, he heard the adjutant again. Right. The turrets can't hit the larger ones. Checking his rifle one last time, he looked to the men in the vehicle bay. "Alright, boys. We've got some big uglies trying to tear up our ship, and the turrets can't hit 'em. There's also some smaller creatures attacking us as well. Fortunately, someone has stepped in to help. We've got some sort of creature in a suit, looks like a griffon from the old stories. Don't shoot it. We're gonna have the goliaths hit the big one, while we get the smaller ones. Got it?"

A wave of "got it's" and "yes sir's" echoed through the room. Nodding, Carver put up his visor, and walked over to the vehicle bay doors, with the rest of the men following him. Opening the doors, they stepped outside, and quickly ran to the scene of the battle. As they approached, the Marines began to engage the smaller targets, firing in controlled bursts. The two goliaths, facing the large creatures, unleashed its anti-air missiles onto the larger targets, firing several missiles at them. It would have been quite the spectacle for anyone watching, a true demonstration of Terran firepower.


Meanwhile, on the bridge, Specialist Lee watched as the creatures in the room suddenly stopped moving. Fascinating, he thought. It's almost like they're machines that have malfunctioned. The four bridge crew members, however, did not share his fascination, moving towards the end of the room while aiming their rifles. They began to argue amongst themselves, wondering what the hell had happened. As the Specialist watched the creatures from behind the terminals, the bridge crew moved closer towards the windows. The adjutant chimed in, giving the Specialist just enough time to duck behind the terminals as a beam of energy burst through the window.

As Lee looked up from the terminals, he could see that they had been pierced by pieces of glass from the window. The four bridge crew were in bad shape- one seemed to be dead, another was incapacitated, with shards of glass stuck in his body, and two seemed to be more lightly wounded. Soon, something emerged from the hole. It looked like a larger version of the creatures from before, likely a leader of some kind. It also seemed capable of speech, if the buzzing noises it was giving off was supposed to be speech.

The psionic lash from earlier had taken a great deal of his energy, and he needed more time before he could do another attack. So, until then, he waited behind the terminals. He did, however, make an attempt to read the creature's mind, if only to understand what it was trying to say. Given the energy it was emanating, it was likely that the creature was psionically gifted. While this might mean that it could notice Lee's attempt to read its mind, it also meant that reading its mind would be easier- it seemed that it was always easier for psychics to read each other's minds. To read it's mind, though, he would have to remove some of the psionic protection he had put over himself. If the creature noticed him, he would have to quickly re-apply it, or risk getting his own mind read.

Meanwhile, the two lightly-injured bridge crewmen, seeing the horrifying being before them, aimed their carbines and began to fire at it. Maybe if it could cause physical damage, it could also be hurt by physical damage. At least, they hoped so. They were more acting out of panic than anything. Even if their bullets did nothing to it, it would be better than sitting there and waiting for it to kill them.



It had been a long walk to the blacksite, but they had finally made it. The cold wind stung his face and turned his fingers numb, but David had been through worse. As they crawled closer to the cliff edge, he went over the plan in his head one final time. He knew what he had to do, and he was prepared to do it. When he finally reached the ledge, he took a moment to look over the site. As he watched the small amount of guards he could see perform their routines, he heard Sara whisper to the team. What she said only boosted his confidence. They won't even know what hit them.

Walking over to the spot, he unhooked a bundle of rope from his belt. He had only practiced rappelling a few times before, and never in these conditions. Not only was there little light, but one mistake would mean an alarm would go off. Clipping the rope to the tree, he took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself. As Sara gave the signal to go, he began the descent, holding the rope with his left hand, and his MP5 with the right. The trip down the cliff face was nerve-wracking, and he could barely see his feet in the darkness. As the team hung over the laser fence, David took another deep breath, and launched off the wall. As his boots hit the metal of the fence, he realized that he had missed the laser by mere inches. Releasing the breath he was holding in, he easily slid down the rest of the fence, unclipped himself, and threw the rope over to the other side.

"That was too close." He took a few deep breaths, trying to calm his nerves. We're fine. Stick to the plan. Feeling calmer now that the hard part was over with, he moved with the rest of the squad, stacking up behind the large building. Looking up as Sara spoke, he nodded, clipping his MP5 to his belt. "Roger that."

Taking out his hunting knife, he moved towards the edge of the building, waiting for the spotlight to pass. Once it moved away from the building, he went around the corner, facing the trooper. With a single movement, he leapt forward. His left arm covered his mouth, while his right plunged the knife into his throat. Whatever the trooper was going to call out, it was silenced by the arm covering his mouth, and he soon became silent, falling limp into David's arms. Dragging the trooper's corpse back behind the corner, he moved it behind the wall, close to where they had rappelled into the blacksite. Sheathing his knife and unclipping his MP5, he looked back to the squad. "Alright, it looks clear." He looked at Carlotta, giving her a slight nod. "Power station's over that way. Let's move."


@Whoami I am considering the Tech as an alternate role.

Alright, my sheet is done.
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