The warm water felt good on her skin. Even as it went from burning her to a luke warm. At first she just sat their crying, fighting with herself not to end her life. She couldn’t do that to Hale, not after all he did for her. But she had been violated again and her mind couldn’t take that. The sound of the shower slowly turned to white noise and she could only hear the sound of her own heart pounding in her chest. Pump-pump. . .pump-pump. . .pump-pump. She felt numb to feel any emotion, as the steam in the room made it hard to breath. She started to feel sick, like she wanted to throw up. She figured it was dehydration from being over heated for so long. She moved from the middle of the shower and leaned along the glass of the shower. It felt cool on her skin, it stopped her from totally zoning out like she had at the age of fifteen. Then again when the cops showed up at her doors to tell her about Hale. Hale. “I’m sorry I couldn’t get away from them. I’m sorry I got mixed in all of this when I promised you I wouldn’t.” She whispered to herself before the door handle started to rattle a little, snapping her back to reality.
Her heart felt like it had stopped her eyes wide, her body frozen as she started at where the door had been through the foggy glass of the shower. She could feel her hands shaking as memories of that night came back to her. But then a knock echoed through the room cutting off the white noise of the shower once again. Kimberly’s voice was something of a relief to hear. Carla parted her lips to lie, but all that came out was. “Ah.” Drawn out as if she couldn’t speak. She cut herself off and took in a breath through the thick air. “Ye-yeah! Sorry” She said pausing for a second. “I’ll be out in a minute.” She said before standing up a little shakily using the shower glass to help her. That sick feeling was getting worst as she held her tummy before walking over to turn off the water. Walking out of the shower she started to dry off making sure not to look at herself in the mirror as she knew it would only bring her back to the tears and then the feeling of nothingness again. She couldn’t do that right there. Kimberly already thought she was up to something, she knew the woman would come in this time if Carla didn’t hurry.
Once her body was dry and her hair slightly damp, running a little wild from the towel dry, she frowned at the dress. She took a moment to breathe through the heavy air before sighing to herself. She couldn’t hold off the dress any longer. Slipping into the dress one foot after the other she felt awkward, as if she wasn’t wearing enough. Her legs far too exposed for her likings. She could feel her breath caught a little as she wanted to start to panic. “No Carla, your fine. Just breath.” She said to herself slightly harshly. She couldn’t have another panic attack, she knew if she had one this time she’d end up in the hospital and well, she knew that wouldn’t go well.
The dress was a little loose yet tight on her because of the size difference between the girls, she looked down at herself, staring at the matching red shoes. She didn’t like this, she wanted to rip it off and just go in the pj’s she had on before. Swallowing a little she closed her eyes and made sure to walk pass the mirror without looking at herself. She didn’t know where the hair brush had been and she wasn’t about to look for it so her hair was still a little crazy. Twisting the door handle, she just realized she hadn’t locked the door and cursed at herself for that. She paused with the handled turned before finally pushing it open and peeking through to see Kimberly still there a rush of cool air hitting her as the steam started to pour from the bathroom. “So-sorry for taking so long. . . I, umm, yeah.” She said before stepping out. She could feel the breeze between her legs, making her shift a little uncomfortably. “Umm you. . . wouldn’t have tights I could wear? Just. . . for now?” She couldn’t look at Kimberly as she said that but she made sure to stare somewhere else beside her own feet. She wasn’t sure if she could look at her bare legs and not cry again.